Pearl Worried

[Madelaine McMasters]

6 hours ago, AdminGirl said:

That's fair. I certainly wouldn't use a word in the company of someone I knew would take it offensively.

Ah ha!

How do you know who those people are until it's too late?!

[AdminGirl]

7 minutes ago, Madelaine McMasters said:

Ah ha!

How do you know who those people are until it's too late?!

Haha hmmmm... 😆

[Luna Bliss]

6 hours ago, Orwar said:

 To say that a person who blatantly advertises that she prostitutes herself, starts controversial threads for attention, wields the name 'Sextoy', and ends every expression with three exclamation marks is 'classy' feels like a bit of a stretch. That's not a judgement of whether they're a 'good' or 'bad' person, but that trying to make a term more inclusive by watering out its meaning is harmful to our language and reeks of that positive-attitude idealism that has infected most discourse online today, where people can't fully express themselves in fear of 'offending' someone. 

The word 'classy' denotes interior psychological qualities evidenced in outer behavior as much as it does external appearance. In fact, the refinement visible to the eye is often assumed to be present in the interior reality and the behavior a person exhibits.
The usage of the word 'classy' is not watered down by more focus on the interior qualities, but only demonstrates what is most important to the user of the word. Talk about a stretch -- your conflation of those who value inner qualities of love with those who virtue signal and engage in political maneuvers is...bizarre.

Those who are obsessed with darkness and can't admit to a valid 'light' dimension of reality are just as imbalanced as those who assume they are existing in 'light' and "goodness" and can't admit to their shadow side.

CLASSY
: having qualities that make someone or something special and attractive
: showing impressive character : very good, kind, etc.
CLASSY
: having or showing class: such as
a : elegant, stylish (a classy clientele a classy hotel)
b : having or reflecting high standards of personal behavior (a classy guy a classy gesture)
c : admirably skillful and graceful (a classy outfielder)

https://www.merriam-webster.com/dictionary/classy

[Luna Bliss]

What I have noticed, going way back, is when people are ganging up on Pearl and finding fault with her in numerous ways, some have employed the word 'whore' in these exchanges whereas in others exchanges 'sex worker' or 'prostitute' is more likely used.

This makes me wonder....how do people really feel about this occupation? Do they genuinely feel it's acceptable and only use the more derogatory form of the word to accomplish their goal of trashing another (knowing it's viewed negatively by society), or do they really feel this is a bad occupation?

 

Edited September 5, 2020 by Luna Bliss

[Ceka Cianci]

24 minutes ago, Luna Bliss said:

What I have noticed, going way back, is when people are ganging up on Pearl and finding fault with her in numerous ways, some have employed the word 'whore' in these exchanges whereas in others exchanges 'sex worker' or 'prostitute' is more likely used.

This makes me wonder....how do people really feel about this occupation? Do they genuinely feel it's acceptable and only use the more derogatory form of the word to accomplish their goal of trashing another (knowing it's viewed negatively by society), or do they really feel this is a bad occupation?

 

Honestly, the only time I think I have ever used that word, and I don't even think I have used it in any of her threads that I have been in, that I can honestly recall.. Is when the word Attention is in front of it..

Usually it's in meme image form and goofing with someone.. hehehe

 

[Rowan Amore]

19 hours ago, Scylla Rhiadra said:

 

I define class not as a manner of dress or elocution, or deportment. Someone who has "class" to me is one who treats others well, and with respect.

 

Although I do agree with this definition of class, I would have to also add the parts you've excluded to encompass the full meaning of class to me.  I'd have to add integrity, trustworthiness, self-confidence.  Also the ability to hold oneself in high esteem even when others may not.  The OP doesn't always display these qualities.  The fact that she, herself, used the word whore would give the impression she doesn't see herself as classy.  This has been why I've tried to mention a change of name.  Although this may only be a 'role' she plays in SL, it's also the one she presents to everyone here. Except for a few people she may have talked to outside the forums, we only see the Pearl she presents here.  

[Scylla Rhiadra]

2 minutes ago, RowanMinx said:

Although I do agree with this definition of class, I would have to also add the parts you've excluded to encompass the full meaning of class to me.  I'd have to add integrity, trustworthiness, self-confidence.  Also the ability to hold oneself in high esteem even when others may not.  The OP doesn't always display these qualities.  The fact that she, herself, used the word whore would give the impression she doesn't see herself as classy.  This has been why I've tried to mention a change of name.  Although this may only be a 'role' she plays in SL, it's also the one she presents to everyone here. Except for a few people she may have talked to outside the forums, we only see the Pearl she presents here.  

Yep. Everything you've said.

ETA: I think people who are still quite new to SL sometimes take a while to negotiate and understand the distinction between RP and the less artificial ways we present ourselves here. I think Pearl falls sometimes into that category. I also think she's beginning to "get it."

Edited September 5, 2020 by Scylla Rhiadra

[Rowan Amore]

7 minutes ago, Scylla Rhiadra said:

Yep. Everything you've said.

ETA: I think people who are still quite new to SL sometimes take a while to negotiate and understand the distinction between RP and the less artificial ways we present ourselves here. I think Pearl falls sometimes into that category. I also think she's beginning to "get it."

I understand many people come to SL only for the RP which is perfectly fine.  I just hate when people think this is the only thing available in here.  There are so many wonderful places to visit, tons of interesting people to talk to in those places.  To limit yourself to a small segment just seems such a waste to me.

21 hours ago, Bagnu said:

Something I will consider. It's not just my name though that makes me uncomfortable with that though. I would feel out of my element, just as I do, and am, here in the forums.

This statement bothered me.  No one should feel 'out of their element' in the general SL population.  If anything, most (not all) would probably feel this more in a sex sim.  Although I mostly wander the adult areas, I feel no less comfortable if I'm in a General or Moderate area.  Such a narrow vision of what SL has to offer?  If sex sims are ALL you've ever explored, you're generally going to have a skewed perspective of SL and the people in it.

[Cindy Evanier]

Just pointing out whore does not get bleeped out by the forum word police so it can't be all that bad a word. 

[Scylla Rhiadra]

10 minutes ago, RowanMinx said:

I understand many people come to SL only for the RP which is perfectly fine.  I just hate when people think this is the only thing available in here.  There are so many wonderful places to visit, tons of interesting people to talk to in those places.  To limit yourself to a small segment just seems such a waste to me.

I agree, although I don't think one can dictate to others how they choose to use SL. Someone who is missing out because all they want to do is RP, or sex, or whatever, presumably is either unaware of the other things, or making a deliberate choice. The key maybe is making people aware of what they may be missing, so that they are making an informed choice.

I know someone on these forums who has publicly asserted that the reason she was in SL in the first place was sex, and that she hadn't moved much beyond that -- until she got a house in Belli, and discovered how communities work here. It changed her entire outlook on SL.

A more severe problem, maybe, is in terms of communication. We have expectations that when we are speaking to others outside of an RP context, that they are not RPing. When they are, it can create confusion and misunderstanding. That I think is in some ways a more pressing issue.

Edited September 5, 2020 by Scylla Rhiadra

[Scylla Rhiadra]

33 minutes ago, Cindy Evanier said:

Just pointing out whore does not get bleeped out by the forum word police so it can't be all that bad a word. 

Lol yeah. 

Nothing better than letting an idiot algorithm determine our ethical choices for us!

I for one welcome our new PHP Overlords.

[Rowan Amore]

2 hours ago, Scylla Rhiadra said:

I agree, although I don't think one can dictate to others how they choose to use SL. Someone who is missing out because all they want to do is RP, or sex, or whatever, presumably is either unaware of the other things, or making a deliberate choice. The key maybe is making people aware of what they may be missing, so that they are making an informed choice.

I know someone on these forums who has publicly asserted that the reason she was in SL in the first place was sex, and that she hadn't moved much beyond that -- until she got a house in Belli, and discovered how communities work here. It changed her entire outlook on SL.

A more severe problem, maybe, is in terms of communication. We have expectations that when we are speaking to others outside of an RP context, that they are not RPing. When they are, it can create confusion and misunderstanding. That I think is in some ways a more pressing issue.

I certainly didn't mean that people shouldn't use SL in whatever way they choose.  I'm only going by things the OP has said in this and other threads.  I feel a lot of people come into SL thinking it's all about the SLex and they are of course allowed to only participate in that way.  My only reason for suggesting Pearl venture out of her comfort zone is that she's mentioned trying to figure out the difference in behavior of the forums, RP, and the general population.  In my experience, most people I've talked to aren't necessarily RPing anything unless you happen to be in an RP area or an adult/sex sim.  I've met great people in adult areas that have no interest in RP per se.  They're there to meet people, chat and sure, possibly engage in adult activities.  But I've also met those same people at live music venue, shopping events, wandering aimlessly in out of the way places.  When you ARE new and limit yourself to one spectrum of the community, of course you may feel odd going somewhere else.  

If all Pearl is interested in is the RP aspect, that's perfectly fine.  I honestly have no problem with her profession either.  I just think people should also experience more of SL before getting stuck for too long in one area.  It only makes it harder to move out of that area.

Edited September 5, 2020 by RowanMinx

[Rowan Amore]

4 minutes ago, Scylla Rhiadra said:

Lol yeah. 

Nothing better than letting an idiot algorithm determine our ethical choices for us!

I for one welcome our new PHP Overlords.

I did notice ***** wasn't edited out in another post?  Is that one allowed because I've been self-censoring.

ETA...Apparently, it's only me who can't say it.

Edited September 5, 2020 by RowanMinx

[Rowan Amore]

5 hours ago, Vinetor said:

And if anyone don't know the difference between a lotto and gambling,lotto is paying a small fee to buy a chance in the lotto like 1 dollar or10l$

But gambling is throwing a ton of cash in a chance game that is a psycho act and no *****ing part of it make sense! besides, I'm not running this lotto like hey come and pay me money to buy chances! it's like hey come and shop from my items and win a amount of chances on em assholes!so if you're not going to give any help, just do an easy favor and be gone!and as second life is a world wide game,I don't need to obey any rules in the world!

Aha, I see how we get past the censors.  

[Scylla Rhiadra]

8 minutes ago, RowanMinx said:

I certainly did mean that people shouldn't use SL in whatever way they choose.

Sorry, I didn't think that this was what you were suggesting. I just wanted to add a caveat on top of what you'd already said.

 

9 minutes ago, RowanMinx said:

In my experience, most people I've talked to aren't necessarily RPing anything unless you happen to be in an RP area or an adult/sex sim.

One exception to this that certainly used to be not uncommon is people RPing children. That can be really difficult to deal with, because most often (in my experience) they RP children everywhere. It makes conversation difficult -- and in my view, is a bit unfair, because it forces one into participating in their RP. Unless of course you just refuse to play along. I usually try . . . but it gets wearisome.

[Rowan Amore]

Just now, Scylla Rhiadra said:

 

 

One exception to this that certainly used to be not uncommon is people RPing children. That can be really difficult to deal with, because most often (in my experience) they RP children everywhere. It makes conversation difficult -- and in my view, is a bit unfair, because it forces one into participating in their RP. Unless of course you just refuse to play along. I usually try . . . but it gets wearisome.

If they're just standing around where I happen to be, I couldn't care less.  The moment they start with the baby talk or whatnot, it's an instant block.  

/me shudders

[Arielle Popstar]

For me the label ranking in descending order is: 

1. Escort 2. Prostitute 3. Whore 4. Crack whore 5. *****

Each has a bit different dress, style, language and pricing structure and different ways of advertising though some overlap. I don't see it as one is better than another but simply appeals to a different sort of clientele.

I did escort for a while a few years ago for the experience and while it was nice for the money and the clothes I was able to buy, in the end I gave it up because it changed my attitude towards other residents. Instead of "how can I be helpful to others" it became one of "what can I get out of others?" which i suppose is the nature of selling yourself for money/gifts etc.

The other aspect I didn't care for about escorting/whoring was the constant pressure to go beyond what I had as limits of what I was willing to do with virtual sexing. What little innocence I might have had, was increasingly ripped away by successive clients wanting this or that kink and fueled by offers of more and more credits if I would do it. My take on that vocation is it just makes one very jaded.

 

[Rowan Amore]

33 minutes ago, Arielle Popstar said:

. My take on that vocation is it just makes one very jaded.

 

This is exactly my point in a nutshell.  Thank you for expressing it.  It would be sad to base an opinion on all of SL if one only meets a certain type.  It also seems to me that it would ultimately be a lonely way to spend your time in SL.  Even if you're with a group of escorts such as in a brothel or club especially for escorts, you have to wonder if those other girls are trying to get business away from you.  Friendships forged in competition don't seem to be all that healthy to me.  I may be wrong about that but I've seen women compete for the attention of men and not in RP areas or where there is money involved.

[Bagnu]

5 hours ago, RowanMinx said:

This is exactly my point in a nutshell.  Thank you for expressing it.  It would be sad to base an opinion on all of SL if one only meets a certain type.  It also seems to me that it would ultimately be a lonely way to spend your time in SL.  Even if you're with a group of escorts such as in a brothel or club especially for escorts, you have to wonder if those other girls are trying to get business away from you.  Friendships forged in competition don't seem to be all that healthy to me.  I may be wrong about that but I've seen women compete for the attention of men and not in RP areas or where there is money involved.

Haven't we all competed for some particular guy's attention in RL in our younger days?

My best friend inworld, Kitty, is another Escort, and we don't really compete. We shared her place for a while, and now it's time for me ask her if we could again. If I saw she wasn't getting enough business, I would try and refer clients to her. Everyone has different tastes as well, so if I can't do something because I'm simply not good at the type of RP, I refer them to my friends who are. We also rely on each other to attract clients to a particular sim. If there aren't enough of us there, then no men will come.. So we do depend on each other as well. I IM the other girls and get to know them . We do other things together, such as shopping, or looking at other sims, or chatting about our SL lives.We ARE sexual, beings, but there is more to it. Just like RL. And we support each other emotionally when things go wrong in SL and a bit RL. Even someone as high up in the adult industry as Caroline Takeda took the time to sit with me when my SL relationship fell apart. Not to mention all of my friends and family. Thank you all!!!

Edited September 5, 2020 by Bagnu

[Drake1 Nightfire]

7 hours ago, Arielle Popstar said:

For me the label ranking in descending order is: 

1. Escort 2. Prostitute 3. Whore 4. Crack whore 5. *****

what the heck is lower than crack whore?!?!? 

1 hour ago, Bagnu said:

We ARE sexual, beings, but there is more to it. 

Not everyone is.. Many people are not sexual beings. They have ZERO interest in it. Especially in SL. 

[Bagnu]

31 minutes ago, Drake1 Nightfire said:

 Not everyone is.. Many people are not sexual beings. They have ZERO interest in it. Especially in SL. 

I meant my friends and I. Not the general population.

[Gatogateau]

1 hour ago, Drake1 Nightfire said:

what the heck is lower than crack whore?!?!? 

Demmit, I have so many answers to this but all are most likely to earn me another discussion.

[Silent Mistwalker]

1 hour ago, Drake1 Nightfire said:

what the heck is lower than crack whore?!?!? 

Enquiring minds want to know.

[Bagnu]

The lowest of the low is the person who tried to take down Genus. I can think of more, but that's what came to mind first because of the issue. And being a crack whore doesn't mean they are actually low.

Edited September 6, 2020 by Bagnu

[FairreLilette]

10 hours ago, Scylla Rhiadra said:

Nothing better than letting an idiot algorithm determine our ethical choices for us!

LOL, but no.  

I think Bagnu should have used the line from my favorite Bob Dylan song "Desolation Row" when called a whore, which is:  "...it takes one to know one, she smiles."

For me, personally, I would not call someone a "whore".  My step-daughter and her generation might as they are totally different from me and my generation and speak more salty than any sailor I've ever heard.  Plus, the past twenty years or so have been the decades of "the shock jocks".  Rap music has a lot of fowl language in it as well.  A lyric in a rap song could be "I'm a big pimpin' whore", for example.  Today's generation is different.  They speak like New York cab drivers.  

12 hours ago, Luna Bliss said:

This makes me wonder....how do people really feel about this occupation? Do they genuinely feel it's acceptable and only use the more derogatory form of the word to accomplish their goal of trashing another (knowing it's viewed negatively by society), or do they really feel this is a bad occupation?

 

To me, no, it's not bad.  It's better than someone getting emotionally entangled with another person which could happen in the "free" thing along with possibly falling in love and wanting out of their current relationship.  With a prostitute, it could be very emotionally entanglement free.  Plus, it's the internet and there is no violence from a pimp or a client like there could be in real life. 

I'd suppose the church had forbidden all sex out of marriage due to there being no birth control.  The church still forbids all sex outside of marriage for the church goers as far as I know, and, yep, the free sex out of marriage is forbidden too.  But, again, I believe there was a need to help not create babies born out of wedlock who might be orphaned and/or have no parents in olden times before birth control.   Luckily, most of us got to have planned parenthood.  In my parent's day, they did not.  My Mom asked my Dad to get a vasectomy.  She said I went through all the births, you should get the vasectomy, it's only fair my Mom thought.  So, my Dad did.  He got a vasectomy.   But, just remember generations past, they married very young and had kids young.  There weren't many choices with no birth control.  

Just my 2 cents.  

Edited September 6, 2020 by FairreLilette