Ideas for Compliments in Second Life (Bonus if Back-handed!)

[Silent Mistwalker]

36 minutes ago, Scylla Rhiadra said:

"You're a very pretty girl. Why do you hide it under so much makeup?"

"You look so pretty when you smile. Why don't you smile more?"

[Love Zhaoying]

13 minutes ago, SpiritSparrow Skydancer said:

Bless your heart is equated to someone being simple minded.

Being "from the South", we were taught that "Bless your heart" is a replacement for saying, "that's B.S.", or "F__ You".

 

[Love Zhaoying]

More "sincere" compliments:

- Your pictures do not do you justice!

- I could never put together an outfit that beautiful, maybe you could help me shop sometime?

- I thought your Avatar pictures were photoshopped, but you really are that beautiful in person!

 

[Marigold Devin]

19 minutes ago, SpiritSparrow Skydancer said:

Bless your heart is equated to someone being simple minded. I was very offended when working for a woman in Montana who said that to me a lot. I asked her to stop. Her daughter came to my defense and she got an education that day (my boss) she honestly did not think it was insult. (or she did and was just a good God fearing liar) anyway, its all about the tone or context I guess.

HOWEVER. When used in regards to a tragedy directed to the person having to go through a rough time, Bless their heart can be used with a respect and sympathy.

 

Yes, tone and context are key. I didn't know until today that it had negative connotations. That's what I've learnt.

[Marigold Devin]

19 minutes ago, SpiritSparrow Skydancer said:

Aren't you precious

That should only be said to children. Otherwise it sounds like a comment aimed at someone with peel-me-a-grape syndrome.

[BilliJo Aldrin]

1 hour ago, Jaylinbridges said:

Hey Boomer!

Being a pre-boomer, I don't take that as an insult.  Boomers also built this country after the Great Depression and WW2 - without the boomers you would all be using your party line telephones.   Boomers also did not think they were God's gift to the world, although they raised their children to think that.

 

boomers are the baby boom that occured after world war two till about 1960, its the boomers parents that got us out of the depression and won the war. and yes boomers think they were gods gift to the world

[BelindaN]

The bottom line to any compliment is location, with context, and if from a stranger,  content. Most go "nice avi" and keep it a simple ice breaker which I don't mind.

But using an ambiguous double pronged backhander to a stranger. AND, I forgot to mention, she wasn't on the same sim....is truly oddball.

I really do wonder if she was an alt of someone who had taken a dislike to me. But how could they?? 

Edited July 11, 2023 by BelindaN

[Love Zhaoying]

4 minutes ago, BelindaN said:

I really do wonder if she was an alt of someone who had taken a dislike to me. But how could they?? 

Jealousy is usually the reason!

[diamond Marchant]

This is weird… my point of reference for RL fashion has flipped due Covid isolation and living in a predominately cold climate. Recently I was in midtown Manhattan (eg MOMA) during a warm spell and the Gen Z girls walking around looked like AVATARS to me… different silhouettes but always tight and revealing. There was a time when I considered avatars to be the mirrors.

[Paul Hexem]

On 7/10/2023 at 2:10 PM, Love Zhaoying said:

o you also have any "back-handed compliments" to share that you've gotten or heard in Second Life? 

 

No one has proportions quite like you.

 

2 hours ago, Scylla Rhiadra said:

"You look so pretty when you smile. Why don't you smile more?"

You uh, hear that one a lot?

[Love Zhaoying]

Just now, Paul Hexem said:

No one has proportions quite like you.

See bolded, underlined lyrics from from Jefferson Airplane's "White Rabbit":

One pill makes you larger
And one pill makes you small
And the ones that mother gives you
Don't do anything at all
Go ask Alice
When she's ten feet tall

 

And if you go chasing rabbits
And you know you're going to fall
Tell 'em a hookah-smoking caterpillar
Has given you the call
Call Alice
When she was just small

 

When the men on the chessboard
Get up and tell you where to go
And you've just had some kind of mushroom
And your mind is moving low
Go ask Alice
I think she'll know

 

When logic and proportion
Have fallen sloppy dead
And the White Knight is talking backwards
And the Red Queen's off with her head
Remember what the dormouse said
Feed your head
Feed your head

 

[Scylla Rhiadra]

18 minutes ago, Paul Hexem said:

No one has proportions quite like you.

 

You uh, hear that one a lot?

Personally? These days? No. When I was younger, yes, occasionally. And of course I am such a joyful and positive person that I'm always smiling anyway!

It's actually a sort of cliche, though, and yeah women do hear it.

One sort of related that went the rounds of my school a few years back was complaints from male students that women students were wearing large sunglasses that obscured how "pretty" they were -- in other words, interfered with ogling. That one got a lot of attention in the student press at the time.

[Ayashe Ninetails]

I heard the smile thing a lot. I also heard I should wear makeup. And I should change my hair to this or that. These people are VERY fortunate I am squeamish and averse to pain, because I am quite enamored with body modification and would show right the hell up looking like The Enigma if not.

As it is, I've gotten comments about "too much metal" in my face in SL. Ohhh honey, you have NO idea. Just be glad I've not found anyone selling subdermal implants updated for mesh bodies (I made my own 100 years ago, but...ancient prims, so).

[Sid Nagy]

And then some women wonder why men never notice any changes of their hair, shoes, dresses etc.
It is much safer to not give a compliment and act as if not noticing.
🤭

Edited July 11, 2023 by Sid Nagy

[Scylla Rhiadra]

Just now, Sid Nagy said:

And then some women wonder why man never notice any changes of their hair, shoes, dresses etc.
It is much safer to not give a compliment and act as if not noticing.
🤭

How about just say "Gosh, you look lovely!"

I know that's asking a lot, but . . .

[SlammedSam]

Not quite sure I see it, but I was once told my avi resembles Scarlett Johanson, all while just relaxing at the Mystery Science Theater 3000 sim.

[Scylla Rhiadra]

8 minutes ago, Ayashe Ninetails said:

I heard the smile thing a lot. I also heard I should wear makeup. And I should change my hair to this or that. These people are VERY fortunate I am squeamish and averse to pain, because I am quite enamored with body modification and would show right the hell up looking like The Enigma if not.

On the one hand, the "you should smile more" etc. thing isn't really about backhanded compliments -- it's about control.

At the same time, of course, it is insulting to tell a woman that, while you think she is attractive, she's not really "womaning" in the way that the person saying it thinks is "correct" or "proper" or "appropriate" or, of course, "attractive."

But even that is about control: it's about trying to make women conform to a particular individual, or socialized, notion of "women."

Whereas, simply saying something like "You look great," or "I like your shoes" or "Cool makeup" not only makes a woman feel good about herself, but is an affirmation of a woman's right to choose how she looks, independent of anyone else's preconceptions.

And it's a hell of a lot more likely to get a "smile" in response.

So, it's a win-win really.

[Scylla Rhiadra]

6 minutes ago, SlammedSam said:

Not quite sure I see it, but I was once told my avi resembles Scarlett Johanson, all while just relaxing at the Mystery Science Theater 3000 sim.

I actually see it!

[Sid Nagy]

7 minutes ago, Scylla Rhiadra said:

How about just say "Gosh, you look lovely!"

I know that's asking a lot, but . . .

One can use that one only once like with all the other compliments.
 
It is all so complicated, women tend to read all kinds of everything out of what one says.
Wow, I like your new hair style ----------- you mean I wear normally a rubbish one?
And so on and etc.

[Ayashe Ninetails]

3 minutes ago, Sid Nagy said:

And then some women wonder why men never notice any changes of their hair, shoes, dresses etc.
It is much safer to not give a compliment and act as if not noticing.
🤭

Nooo, compliments are fine! There are a zillion polite ways you can say things. I like using tattoos as an opener because it's just so easy. "DUDE...your tattoo is awesome! How long did that take?" Bam, instant conversation about something a guy obviously feels strongly about (since he sat for hours to get the damn thing).

 

To compliment women (who aren't rocking killer tats):

"That is such a pretty dress."

"Your hair's so adorable like that. You look very cute!"

"You're killing that outfit today, just saying!"

 

How NOT to say things. Avoid "compliments" that sound like:

"Hey, it'd be great if you looked more feminine!"

"You'd look so much better if you dressed like other girls!"

"Man, your hair would look nicer if someone other than you styled it!"

[Scylla Rhiadra]

Just now, Sid Nagy said:

It is all so complicated, women tend to read all kinds of everything out of what one says.
Wow, I like your new hair style ----------- you mean I wear normally a rubbish one?
And so on and etc.

Oh come on, Sid. That's nonsense. Women respond to normal compliments that don't have obvious subtexts in exactly the same way that men do. Stop with the Henny Youngman impersonation!

[Love Zhaoying]

8 minutes ago, Ayashe Ninetails said:

"Man, your hair would look nicer if someone other than you styled it!"

"Nice wig!"

[Ingrid Ingersoll]

On 7/10/2023 at 2:10 PM, Love Zhaoying said:

   "Girl, you are positively GLOWING! ..Did you just have Slex?

     Are you pregnant?  I'll bet that's it!

    You definitely look fatter!"

As you can see in the example above, sometimes compliments start out nice and innocent, then get MEAN!

Okay now lets have some aimed at male avis! Those are all aimed at women. 

[Orwar]

1 hour ago, Scylla Rhiadra said:

One sort of related that went the rounds of my school a few years back was complaints from male students that women students were wearing large sunglasses that obscured how "pretty" they were -- in other words, interfered with ogling. That one got a lot of attention in the student press at the time.

   Whut, they ogled the faces? They're doing it wrong!

41 minutes ago, Ayashe Ninetails said:

As it is, I've gotten comments about "too much metal" in my face in SL. Ohhh honey, you have NO idea.

   There is no such thing as 'too much metal'.

[Cinnamon Mistwood]

3 hours ago, Scylla Rhiadra said:

"You look so pretty when you smile. Why don't you smile more?"

I have never in my life had anyone say this to me.  It usually comes out something like this:

"Do you ever stop smiling and laughing?"

To which I say, "Rarely.  I hardly ever stop dancing either."

Meeting grumpy people (*cough @Sid Nagycough*) makes me extra happy.  The more things grumpy people complain about, the bigger my smile gets.  I just love a Debbie Downer.

I suppose that could be seen as a backhanded way to interact.

This should not be interpreted as any kind of insult, Sid.  I enjoy interacting with you and reading your posts.