Ideas for Compliments in Second Life (Bonus if Back-handed!)

[Silent Mistwalker]

31 minutes ago, Sid Nagy said:

That's why I wrote you can only use that only once in one of my former posts.

I do occasionally make a compliment, but only if I think something is worthy to compliment about, not because the other one expects a compliment. In the latter case it has the same value as "how are you today", "have a nice day" or "gesundheid" IMHO. (and no they are no compliments, but exactly as empty as a compliment given because one is expected to be given).

I really think it is a pretty tricky business to give compliments to women, especially about looks. Much harder than complimenting about achievements.

There is absolutely no reason whatsoever that you can't use the same compliment again another day. Just don't use the same one day in and day out. Nothing complicated about it.

It is no trickier to compliment a woman on her appearance than it is to compliment her on her achievements.

"You look nice today."

"You really earned it!"

Short. Simple. Sweet.

I can't believe you are arguing with a woman over this. LOL 😋

[Sid Nagy]

I don't believe in the concept that a woman deserves a compliment, just because she is a woman and is trained to expect those during their upbringing.

Most likely it has to do with the fact, that I'm never on the hunt for a relationship ever.

[Love Zhaoying]

21 minutes ago, Sid Nagy said:

But the moment one starts answering the question even half way serious, one finds out how empty it all is.
Nobody expects a serious answer, most of the time are even a bit disturbed because the answer is different than the supposed opening script\ritual one expects to unfold.

You miss the point.

If you ask the question, "How are you today?" and you are SINCERE, then the answer should not bother you - unless it gives you concern, then you can show concern if appropriate.  The "asking" is because you DO care. I'm sorry if I am less cynical than some people.

But basically - on topic - showing interest in someone by asking the simple questions, IS a complement! "You care", which implies they are special (unless "everyone is special" which is fine too).

 

[Love Zhaoying]

4 minutes ago, Sid Nagy said:

Most likely it has to do with the fact, that I'm never on the hunt for a relationship ever.

There's a meme for that!

 

[Ayashe Ninetails]

44 minutes ago, Sid Nagy said:

I really think it is a pretty tricky business to give compliments to women, especially about looks. Much harder than complimenting about achievements.

Naaaah. I compliment women very frequently and have yet to be hit upside the head with a purse.

There's no special trick to it, I promise you. Never caught any attitude.

On the receiving end, I personally love it when men talk to me like a regular person, or even better, like "one of the guys." I'd muuuuch rather hear "Hey what's up, that's a really cool avatar" or "What's up girl, figured I'd drop a quick hi since I saw you standing there looking all cute" or be bombarded with dumb dad jokes and silly puns than hear "Thine eyes shine brightly as the moon in spring over a..." Dude... just be chill. 🤣

[Love Zhaoying]

Just now, Ayashe Ninetails said:

Naaaah. I compliment women very frequently and have yet to be hit upside the head with a purse.

There's no special trick to it, I promise you. Never caught any attitude.

On the receiving end, I personally love it when men talk to me like a regular person, or even better, like "one of the guys." I'd muuuuch rather hear "Hey what's up, that's a really cool avatar" or "What's up girl, figured I'd drop a quick hi since I saw you standing there looking all cute" or be bombarded with dumb dad jokes and silly puns than hear "Thine eyes shine brightly as the moon in spring over a..." Dude... just be chill. 🤣

"Your eyes are like two limpid pools.."

 

[Ayashe Ninetails]

1 minute ago, Love Zhaoying said:

"Your eyes are like two limpid pools.."

 

Okay see, if a guy approached with Pepe Le Pew-style pickup lines that are DESIGNED to be horrific and obnoxious (to get a laugh out of me), that's a huge plus in my book!

[Silent Mistwalker]

18 minutes ago, Sid Nagy said:

I don't believe in the concept that a woman deserves a compliment, just because she is a woman and is trained to expect those during their upbringing.

Most likely it has to do with the fact, that I'm never on the hunt for a relationship ever.

I never said a woman deserves a compliment just because she is a woman. We most certainly are not "trained to expect" compliments. That's a pretty offensive thing to say. 

You do not have or need to be in a relationship to compliment someone. 

Why do men always have to complicate things that are not complicated. 🙄

[Sid Nagy]

Guys don't expect compliments if they meet up with someone.
Women do.
Explain how come if not taught/learned somehow during growing up?

Edited July 12, 2023 by Sid Nagy

[Marigold Devin]

38 minutes ago, Love Zhaoying said:

There's a meme for that!

 

People who don't have that kind of relationship aren't necessarily alone. 

Just saying. 

[Marigold Devin]

45 minutes ago, Sid Nagy said:

I don't believe in the concept that a woman deserves a compliment, just because she is a woman and is trained to expect those during their upbringing.

Most likely it has to do with the fact, that I'm never on the hunt for a relationship ever.

I really don't understand why you would get the confused emoji from someone for your post (it's probably just your turn today for it's attention). You seem to make your point perfectly clear to me. 

[Rolig Loon]

14 minutes ago, Sid Nagy said:

Women do.

What women?

[Love Zhaoying]

Maybe @Sid Nagy missed out on the "Women's Liberation" movement back in the 1970's..?

 

[Marigold Devin]

2 minutes ago, Rolig Loon said:

What women?

All those pouty women you see on the internet for a start off. Some of my friends and their daughters will even come up and say "Do you like my (hair/dress/shoes)" actually expecting compliments. Plenty of women do.

(I don't, but my brother would argue that I'm more of a tomboy than a real woman anyway - it surprises him that I actually like pink!)

[Sid Nagy]

3 minutes ago, Rolig Loon said:

What women?

I'm generally speaking of course.

[Marigold Devin]

3 minutes ago, Love Zhaoying said:

Maybe @Sid Nagy missed out on the "Women's Liberation" movement back in the 1970's..?

 

So is it Sid's turn to be picked on by everybody today? It seems to be that way. 

We all have different experiences of people within our own society I am sure.

But I am sure someone will explain the Women''s lib movement to all of us. Amazing how many women allegedly burned their bras and yet here we are, still buying and wearing 'em 😁

Edited July 12, 2023 by Marigold Devin
Yeah, symbolism is lost on the likes of me so no one try to explain it to me

[Sid Nagy]

5 minutes ago, Love Zhaoying said:

Maybe @Sid Nagy missed out on the "Women's Liberation" movement back in the 1970's..?

 

I've had al lot of contacts with a lot of different people during my professional career and social life and can only tell you what I see around me. Mileages and cultures may vary of course.

Edited July 12, 2023 by Sid Nagy

[Love Zhaoying]

4 minutes ago, Marigold Devin said:

So is it Sid's turn to be picked on by everybody today? It seems to be that way. 

We all have different experiences of people within our own society I am sure.

But I am sure someone will explain the Women''s lib movement to all of us. Amazing how many women allegedly burned their bras and yet here we are, still buying and wearing 'em 😁

Not at all, in my response I am trying to explain where Sid may get the idea that all women expect compliments, etc. I often try to "help" explain other's behavior, rather than imagining something "bad". In this case, it makes more sense to ask myself "Why?" rather than assume Sig is a misogynist. (OMG now I sound like Luna, WHY WHY WHY?!? lol!)

I know that my post seemed sarcastic but - in context, some older people (read as: older Second Life users, etc.) may be coming from a different perspective; also, I cannot say whether the expectations of "society" and "women in general" are different in Sid's country.

Peeve: How often I have to correct "complement" to "compliment"!

[Love Zhaoying]

8 minutes ago, Sid Nagy said:

Mileages and cultures may vary of course.

Exactly what I tried to say in my last post!

[Ayashe Ninetails]

6 minutes ago, Sid Nagy said:

Guys don't expect compliments if they meet up with someone.
Women do.
Explain how come if not taught/learned somehow during growing up?

Can only speak from my own experience, but that sounds like a rather broad generalization.

Woman here. Never taught a single thing about compliments, dating, or relationships. I *was* taught to always be polite and respectful and say please and thank you. I also learned quite a bit about entertaining others (my family can be quite hilarious at times and I grew up in a household that adored comedy).

I frequently give compliments to anyone and everyone and enjoy making people laugh because I do my best to make someone's day a little brighter. I never expect anything in return, and it's rarely ever about dating (especially in SL). I can't say I've ever had a negative reaction to anything I've approached someone with - except the occasional "omg you're so stupid" reaction when a joke to a friend doesn't land. 😂

When a man compliments me, I genuinely appreciate it and would never even think to question his intentions or give him a hard time, UNLESS it's an insincere and schmoozy attempt to win me over. Those are easy to spot a mile away and the majority of men I've interacted with were not about that life.

[Love Zhaoying]

10 minutes ago, Marigold Devin said:

But I am sure someone will explain the Women''s lib movement to all of us.

That would be hilarious if a man should "mansplain" that!

One would hope he (if "he" does) is an "ally for women", not a "serial mansplainer".

[Marigold Devin]

7 minutes ago, Love Zhaoying said:

Not at all, in my response I am trying to explain where Sid may get the idea that all women expect compliments, etc. I often try to "help" explain other's behavior, rather than imagining something "bad". In this case, it makes more sense to ask myself "Why?" rather than assume Sig is a misogynist. (OMG now I sound like Luna, WHY WHY WHY?!? lol!)

I know that my post seemed sarcastic but - in context, some older people (read as: older Second Life users, etc.) may be coming from a different perspective; also, I cannot say whether the expectations of "society" and "women in general" are different in Sid's country.

Peeve: How often I have to correct "complement" to "compliment"!

LOL

_____

I think generally, Love, you are just mischievous, when others are deadly serious and have a stick up their arse about something. 

Edited July 12, 2023 by Marigold Devin
to separate for emphasis

[Scylla Rhiadra]

36 minutes ago, Sid Nagy said:

I'm generally speaking of course.

Right. This is a generalization . . . sort of the same as "blacks be like . . ." or, "Well, you know how the gays are . . ." or "after all, he is Jewish . . ."

Two quick observations. The first is that women and men have been subjected to social conditioning. And for literal millennia, that conditioning has been about objectifying women and turning them into passive objects of admiration. Women "succeeded" when they kept the house relatively well organized, produced and raised children, and functioned as decorative trophies for their husbands. We've come a long way, baby, as they used to say during what Love calls the "women's liberation" movement, but there are residual effects of that remaining among those who've resisted or been unable to grasp change. And that includes both some women who may still unfortunately see themselves as adornments for men, and some men who seem to be unable to grasp that most women now possess different expectations and roles for themselves.

I'd like to submit that you seem to fall into that latter category, Sid. I and most women no more expect compliments than men do. Maybe you need move on from the 50s and 60s, and become a bit more attuned to modern gender relations?

My second observation is about generalizations such as yours. We all naturally tend to use generalizations: they are a heuristic that helps us to organize our experience of the world around us. And they can be useful. But the moment you start applying generalizations in an uncritical way, you're no longer using it; it is using you. It's called "critical thinking," Sid, and it's what we use to recognize the difference between arbitrary categories we've inherited or apply, and the actual concrete reality of those with whom we engage.

And now I'm going to end with a back-handed compliment!

You're better than this Sid. You really are.

Critical. Thinking. I know you're capable of it: I've seen it from you before. Where'd it go?

Edited July 12, 2023 by Scylla Rhiadra
Typos, of course

[Rat Luv]

11 hours ago, rasterscan said:

"Wow. That's a classic look hunneh"

I think this one wins for SL...so under the radar...so deadly 

[Love Zhaoying]

43 minutes ago, Marigold Devin said:

1 hour ago, Love Zhaoying said:

There's a meme for that!

 

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People who don't have that kind of relationship aren't necessarily alone. 

Just saying. 

Just making a joke. 🙂