Avatars are anti social

[Scylla Rhiadra]

6 minutes ago, Arielle Popstar said:

Well if there was more to do in Second Life, why do so many stand around in clubs and events and not even dance or chat?

You're going to the wrong clubs.

[Scylla Rhiadra]

3 minutes ago, Sammy Huntsman said:

and 9 times out of 10, people are using gestures at clubs. Which is annoying, I might add. As they don't know when to stop. So how do you really interact with that? Lol 

You're going to the wrong clubs.

[Sammy Huntsman]

1 minute ago, Scylla Rhiadra said:

You're going to the wrong clubs.

I mean, I tend to go to venues that have mainly electronic music and clubs owned by friends. To help support them. 

[Arielle Popstar]

4 minutes ago, Scylla Rhiadra said:

You're going to the wrong clubs.

Yes the destination guide needs to include something about where people are actually conversing in Local!

It would be such a boon to new people coming to this social platform.

Edited June 26, 2023 by Arielle Popstar

[Kathlen Onyx]

1 minute ago, Arielle Popstar said:

Yes the destination guide needs to include something about where people are actually conversing in Local!

 

I gave examples. Look in my profile. 

[Sammy Huntsman]

Just now, Arielle Popstar said:

Yes the destination guide needs to include something about where people are actually conversing in Local!

 

Destination guide is basically places curated by LL by applying. I think there is a category for specifically that. I don't think they have actual stats up, to tell you who is conversing and not conversing in that place at that time. 

[Hunny Bunny]

Okay, so my take on this is it's just like the real world. You don't go to a club, bar, restaurant or dance hall and address the crowd. People are more likely just engaged in private messages. When you have a group of people who all know each other you're most likely to see them engaged in local chat especially when ad-hoc chat constantly breaks.

[Sammy Huntsman]

4 minutes ago, Arielle Popstar said:

Yes the destination guide needs to include something about where people are actually conversing in Local!

It would be such a boon to new people coming to this social platform.

That and another big thing, you actually need to go out and find places where people are chit-chatting. I mean if I want to do something, I tend to tp around and even check the destination guide. Until I find the perfect place. Kinda like RL, you have to actually go out and look for the places yourself. Even if it does take time.  

[KathrynLisbeth]

How much of it is anti-social (or Distracted but social in IM's,  Discord. and/or Slack) v/s  Chat using SL is a Pain 'for them', b/c of All the Mesh and some Extra Mesh with a Non-Optimal Graphics Setting?

What made me think of that was comments from the other day while at the Motown Opening and users having single digit FPS.  While the me that was there had 50 something FPS.

[Love Zhaoying]

Ironically, if we all had a conversation in-world, I don't expect it would be much different than the discussions we have here. None of us seem that shy. But, put some of us in a room with no existing conversation, and good luck starting one.

[Rat Luv]

33 minutes ago, Sam1 Bellisserian said:

I have had a totally different experience.

Me too...I was really shy IRL when I started SL, but I couldn't shut up inworld 🤐 But I was also one of the annoying ones who'd let off the 'party whistle' at live events 

I can't think of that many places where there wasn't constant local chat? But I did go the punky/alternative/indie clubs the most, and they talked all the time. I can't really imagine SL without local chat...that's half the entertainment! 

[Arielle Popstar]

3 minutes ago, Sammy Huntsman said:

That and another big thing, you actually need to go out and find places where people are chit-chatting. I mean if I want to do something, I tend to tp around and even check the destination guide. Until I find the perfect place. Kinda like RL, you have to actually go out and look for the places yourself. Even if it does take time.  

I do get around but still rarely see any local chat, especially in the sort of places I prefer to be at other then for the lack of such.

[Scylla Rhiadra]

4 minutes ago, Sammy Huntsman said:

That and another big thing, you actually need to go out and find places where people are chit-chatting. I mean if I want to do something, I tend to tp around and even check the destination guide. Until I find the perfect place. Kinda like RL, you have to actually go out and look for the places yourself. Even if it does take time.  

Which is certainly how I find the places I hang out in. Trial and error!

It would be an interesting thing to know if genre, as for instance EMD, has anything to do with the social dynamic. I suspect in most cases not, but one exception to that might be the sort of "smooth jazz" (/me shudders) that tends to be most popular at ballroom places like Frank's. The music there isn't really the point anyway: it's just ambient background for romaaaaaaaaance!

[Sammy Huntsman]

Just now, Arielle Popstar said:

I do get around but still rarely see any local chat, especially in the sort of places I prefer to be at other then for the lack of such.

Well generally speaking, when people are out. Especially in friend groups, they are probably chatting in discord or other apps. People like me, who usually go out alone. Are usually out just off in my own little world, and doing something. But yeah, if you want to start something in local. Just walk up to some people and start a conversation. 

[Rowan Amore]

3 minutes ago, Love Zhaoying said:

Ironically, if we all had a conversation in-world, I don't expect it would be much different than the discussions we have here. None of us seem that shy. But, put some of us in a room with no existing conversation, and good luck starting one.

I went to a couple of the forum things inworld they had awhile back.  Even there, with people I've seen on here regularly, I'm just not and have never been, all that comfortable with local chat.

Someone mentioned earlier that people see IM as some sort of invitation to.something more intimate down the line.  Not that it hasn't happened but it's not my general experience with IM especially if I initiate the chat.  

[Ayashe Ninetails]

2 minutes ago, Scylla Rhiadra said:

as for instance EMD

😂 Do you mean EDM? *teases you*

Interesting idea, though. I haven't been to dance clubs in quite a bit, but I do remember the metal/goth/industrial variety did have some local chit chat (and few gestures, thankfully).

I personally prefer group IMs if given a choice, though. I get too many obnoxious group popup notices that spam to local chat and always forget to go through and turn that off!!!111oneone

[Arielle Popstar]

7 minutes ago, Rat Luv said:

Me too...I was really shy IRL when I started SL, but I couldn't shut up inworld 🤐 But I was also one of the annoying ones who'd let off the 'party whistle' at live events 

I can't think of that many places where there wasn't constant local chat? But I did go the punky/alternative/indie clubs the most, and they talked all the time. I can't really imagine SL without local chat...that's half the entertainment! 

Yes and that's the point I am making but obviously the sort of clubs I favour for lifestyles and music are not conducive to that sort of interaction. 

[PheebyKatz]

I look pretty realistic, and I'll talk to literally anyone. The only times I don't engage with others is when they show up on the sim and act like they want to be left alone.

People go exploring, and someone says hi, and if they stop to chat, exploration ends right there. I can feel it on people when they're being polite and chatting but would rather be exploring more, so I say something like, "well, I should let you explore some more, you can come back and chat more later if you want."

A lot of people won't even respond, and simply vanish, when they discover someone has noticed them lurking. Some people are only in it for the voyeuristic side too, and hate even being seen.

Also, consider the fact that many people in SL are really just in it to play by themselves most of the time. I know when I'm trying to build, it can be a real distraction to have to keep up a conversation, so I drop everything if someone wants to come around and talk.

Real friends though, we can be standing around with one or more of us building, and not say anything and it's as good as hanging out and chatting all night.

So yeah, Iunno about avatars being "antisocial", but people often are.

As for places full of avatars dressed their best and displaying themselves in all their glory and no local chat, well, they're off in IMs, trying to cyber. Why would they want to talk to some schmoe like me who comes along and actually engages in the activities the places pretend to be there for?

[Caeruleiae]

I've only read the first page so far. That said I am only antisocial when people treat me like a child a noob an idiot or a conquest. It's not so much being antisocial but not desiring to be talked down to by people who seem to think they aren't doing it-when in fact they are. 

I don't mind chatting in local and a lot of the places I go to people are talking in local. If I have nothing to add to the conversation I won't-but I do try to join when I can. It depends entirely on what people are talking about and the place. Some people just aren't welcoming to people outside of their own little known bubble-so you can't really blame others for being antisocial around them. That happens at some of the clubs I've been to but also other places. 

Some people might just not know how or when to join a conversation-so could be a little shy. I can be shy at times too-but most of that stems from exactly what I described in the second sentence. It's definitely a people problem but it's more of a people on the other end problem and not a me problem. 

[Hunny Bunny]

Another thing to consider is people can be melodramatic at times so, if I'm chatting in local it's filtered Hunny because I don't want to hurt anybody's feeler.

[Arielle Popstar]

29 minutes ago, Rowan Amore said:

Someone mentioned earlier that people see IM as some sort of invitation to.something more intimate down the line.  Not that it hasn't happened but it's not my general experience with IM especially if I initiate the chat.  

IM does up the ante of expectations, especially with a stranger. If I do the IM'ing I can set the tone somewhat by my initial approach but not so much when it is reversed. Personally I prefer getting a feel of another by their interactions within a group before deciding whether I'd like to take it further with a particular one, sort of like RL. That is not possible with IM'ing and therefore an element of risk involved.

[Love Zhaoying]

36 minutes ago, Ayashe Ninetails said:

😂 Do you mean EDM? *teases you*

Interesting idea, though. I haven't been to dance clubs in quite a bit, but I do remember the metal/goth/industrial variety did have some local chit chat (and few gestures, thankfully).

I personally prefer group IMs if given a choice, though. I get too many obnoxious group popup notices that spam to local chat and always forget to go through and turn that off!!!111oneone

..could be OMD, if you're old enough to remember that group!

[Rowan Amore]

35 minutes ago, Arielle Popstar said:

element of risk involved.

Of what?  I have conversations with people nearly every day and honestly can't remember the last time one went sideways into unwanted territory.  The only risk of sending an IM would be boredom IMO.  Those are easy enough to get out of for.the most part.

[PheebyKatz]

31 minutes ago, Rowan Amore said:

Of what?  I have conversations with people nearly every day and honestly can't remember the last time one went sideways into unwanted territory.  The only risk of sending an IM would be boredom IMO.  Those are easy enough to get out of for.the most part.

I've gotten IMs from people I've never met, accusing me of being someone they know and spying on them, because I was on the same mainland sim.

I've had people ask me technical questions (even people from the forum) and had it turn into them trying to convince me that I should be upset over things I don't care about, and blowing up at me when I refused to let them gall me. I'm not very "persuasion-friendly", sorry.

I've had people IM me just to try to get me to take part in underhanded things against people I know and get along with, including lying about their activities.

I envy you. Unwanted territory seems to be no more than a few phrases away for some people. And they always seem to want to go there with me, for some reason.

The only IMs I really welcome anymore are from friends, and we usually only do that because we might drift out of local chat distance while hanging out on builds and stuff. Or if I meet someone really cool and we want to keep talking after they go home, or have another awesome conversation later, or something.

It's almost nonexistently rare that someone on a sim I'm visiting just sends me an IM and it goes well. Especially if they could have used local chat and chose not to.

It's like being at a party and someone insists on texting rather than talking, because others might hear. That's seldom a good sign for me.

Edited June 27, 2023 by PheebyKatz

[Evelyn Takeda]

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Edited June 27, 2023 by Evelyn Takeda