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This little girl told her teacher that her parents have a lot of weed at the house.. hehehe

 

Edited by Ceka Cianci
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A teacher was working with a group of children, trying to broaden their horizons through sensory perception.
She brought in a variety of lifesavers and said,”Children, I’d like you to close your eyes and taste these.”
The kids easily identified the taste of cherries, lemons and mint, but when the teacher gave them honey-flavored lifesavers, all of the kids were stumped.
“I’ll give you a hint,” said the teacher.
“It’s somethin your mommy and daddy probably call each other all the time.”
Instantly, Little Johnny coughed his onto the floor and shouted, “Quick! Spit’em out!
They’re a**holes!”

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During a visit to the mental asylum, a visitor asked the Director how do you determine whether or not a patient should be institutionalized.
Well, said the Director, we fill up a bathtub, then we offer a teaspoon, a teacup and a bucket to the patient and ask him or her to empty the bathtub.
Oh, I understand, said the visitor.
A normal person would use the bucket because it's bigger than the spoon or the teacup.
No said the Director, A normal person would pull the plug out.
Do you want a bed near the window?

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I could just watch videos of children socializing with each other all day long.. I just wonder how many moments I've missed from my children compared to the amount of moments that had the pleasure of seeing..

 

This young man just had his heart broken.. This is so cute I about fell out of my chair laughing from just how cute he was  when he say's, You broke my heart..  hehehe

 

Edited by Ceka Cianci
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   So, I was looking at some pirate history because why not, and came across this .. I can't find any reliable sources aside from Horrible Histories .. So a quite fun and supposedly true story:

One of the weirdest plunders that ever occurred on the high seas actually happened on land, by a crew led by the not so infamous pirate Captain Basil Hood in 1713.  Capt. Hood had a brilliant plan to make some quick cash with little risk.  Raiding ships was dangerous business, after all if the crew resisted there was a chance a pirate could get stabbed, shot, or some other nasty thing.  Hood had the idea to conduct his pirate raid on land.  His treasure of choice; cows.  That’s right, in 1713 Hood and his crew landed on shore and stole an entire herd of cattle, stowing them on their ship and sailing away.  At first the plan worked perfectly, the baffled and befuddled cattle herders were not expecting that pirates would land and steal their livestock. They offered no resistance.

Unfortunately for Capt. Hood his plan went awry once out on the open sea.  The cattle grew seasick from the open ocean, and began to do what seasick creatures do.  A British warship was able to track down Hood and his crew, it seemed that Hood was destined to make a one way drop at the end of a noose.

Faced with a British frigate who had them dead to rights, Hood and his men immediately surrendered.  It would have been the end of the line for Hood had it not been for the British Captain of the warship, who could not stand the terrible sight and stench of the filthy, sick cows.  Unable to stomach the terrible smell, the British Captain decided not confiscate Hood’s ship and cargo.  He let them go.  

Captain Basil Hood and his crew later sold the herd at another port, collecting a nice sum of booty.  Unfortunately for Hood, one does not become an infamous pirate by stealing cows.

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On 4/5/2021 at 8:28 AM, Ceka Cianci said:

I could just watch videos of children socializing with each other their shadows all day long.

Someone I know did something like this nearly 50 years ago...

...prompting her parents to do some very quick shadow puppet improv, to assure her there was nothing to be afraid of.

We never achieved this level of performance...

...but we sure had fun trying.

 

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15 hours ago, Madelaine McMasters said:

Someone I know did something like this nearly 50 years ago...

...prompting her parents to do some very quick shadow puppet improv, to assure her there was nothing to be afraid of.

We never achieved this level of performance...

...but we sure had fun trying.

 

I remember having (going to) shadow shows at my piano teacher's house. Her 6 kids were inventive. 

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I just love Andy Griffith.. I love the show, but I also love his stories he does, Like Hamlet, Cleopatra and this one that he did on the Andy Griffith show..

I know someone that when they get to telling you something, they get me all glued to where I can picture it like being there..

they do all the heavy breathing and actions and get all into it.. It a gift that so few have..

Anyways, here is the skit that I was referring to before..

 

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A nun, badly needing to use the restroom, walked into a local Hooters. The place was hopping with music and loud conversation and every once in a while the lights would turn off. Each time the lights would go out, the place would erupt into cheers. But when the revelers saw the nun, the room went dead silent. She walked up to the bartender, and asked, "May I please use the restroom? The bartender replied, “OK, but I should warn you that there is a statue of a naked man in there wearing only a fig leaf.” “Well, in that case, I’ll just look the other way,” said the nun. So the bartender showed the nun to the back of the restaurant.

After a few minutes, she came back out, and the whole place stopped just long enough to give the nun a loud round of applause! She went to the bartender and said, “Sir, I don’t understand. Why did they applaud for me just because I went to the restroom?” “Well, now they know you’re one of us,” said the bartender, “Would you like a drink?” “No thank you, but, I still don’t understand,” said the puzzled nun. “You see,” laughed the bartender, "every time someone lifts the fig leaf on that statue, the lights go out. Now, how about that drink?"

I copied and pasted. But, I found this joke a while ago and instantly thought about it when I found this thread. ♥

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I was watching this video of them launching ship and seeing the big waves.. then at 5:23 in the video, I about lost my tea I was drinking, I was so caught off guard and just busted out laughing so hard.. It was just so unexpected.. hehehehe

it's at 5:23

 

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