Just a question, "inappropriate" reaction to a post

[Phil Deakins]

14 hours ago, moirakathleen said:

That is what I would hope, and had initially believed.  Reading this thread however, has made me wonder about that belief.  I may need to rethink my use of reacting to posts.

The scornful use of the laugh is easy to spot. When you read a post that has nothing humorous in it, and someone has stuck the laugh on it, the laugh is scorn. There are very few people here who actually do that on a regular basis, but, between them, it's become quite common. What I find most disappointing is the number of people who are normally perfectly nice, who suddenly do it on a post. Presumably they've seen the scornful use of it and a post has got right up their nose, so they do it as a one-off. There aren't many of those people either, but there are a few. We all have that sort of negativity in our natures, but most of us keep it to ourselves, and don't inflict it on others - even though we'd sometimes like to

[BilliJo Aldrin]

Its New Year's Day, but maybe just maybe a mod will show up tomorrow and give us an "official" response to the "inappropriate" use of emojis.

I would hope that if it turns out the emojis ARE a vehicle to express negativity and abuse, then LL would remove them entirely.

 

[Syo Emerald]

I've someone feels 'abused' by someone else clicking a pre-made, build-in emoji under their forum post, they should question themself if they are mentally ready to engage with the internet. I expect from an adult to be able to handle an emoji without losing their temper and not cry for Daddy Linden, because someone used the "wrong" emoji" under their precious post. It would be a shame, if this sort of childish sensitivity became (or is?) the rule to judge by.

[BilliJo Aldrin]

Just now, Syo Emerald said:

I've someone feels 'abused' by someone else clicking a pre-made, build-in emoji under their forum post, they should question themself if they are mentally ready to engage with the internet. I expect from an adult to be able to handle an emoji without losing their temper and not cry for Daddy Linden, because someone used the "wrong" emoji" under their precious post. It would be a shame, if this sort of childish sensitivity became (or is?) the rule to judge by.

Welcome the brave new world of safe rooms, teddy bears, and puppys.

 

 

[BilliJo Aldrin]

This thread has gone 8 pages now. I started this thread as a sincere question and got some interesting feedback, and so far no one has accused me of doing it to troll, or of posting replies just to be combative and argumentative. I've gotten all the useful replies possible out of this thread, so I leave it all to you to carry on as you see fit.

Have a safe and happy new year everyone, unless of course your race, religion, culture, nationality whatever doesn't recognize the Western calendar in which case, have a nice day.

Edited January 1, 2019 by BilliJo Aldrin
changed words for better accuracy

[Fionalein]

1 hour ago, BilliJo Aldrin said:

This thread has gone 8 pages now. I started this thread as a sincere question and got some interesting feedback, and so far no one has accused me of doing it to troll, or of posting replies just to be combative and argumentative. I've gotten all the useful replies possible out of this thread, so I leave it all to you to carry on as you see fit.

Huh? You clearly must learn to read the writings on the wall... it is all over the thread...

[Love Zhaoying]

1 hour ago, BilliJo Aldrin said:

Its New Year's Day, but maybe just maybe a mod will show up tomorrow and give us an "official" response to the "inappropriate" use of emojis.

I would hope that if it turns out the emojis ARE a vehicle to express negativity and abuse, then LL would remove them entirely.

 

No.

[Phil Deakins]

2 hours ago, Syo Emerald said:

I've someone feels 'abused' by someone else clicking a pre-made, build-in emoji under their forum post, they should question themself if they are mentally ready to engage with the internet. I expect from an adult to be able to handle an emoji without losing their temper and not cry for Daddy Linden, because someone used the "wrong" emoji" under their precious post. It would be a shame, if this sort of childish sensitivity became (or is?) the rule to judge by.

It has nothing to do with someone feeling abused. It is to do with some people being offensive. Laughing at someone in a scornful way is intentionally offensive, and is done with the intention of affecting the feelings of the victim. It doesn't require the 'victim' to feel abused for it to be an offensive practise.

Imo, such offensive behaviour has no place in this forum. There are many places on the web where offensiveness is both accepted and welcomed, but this isn't one of them.

[Love Zhaoying]

Laughter is good.

 

[Blush Bravin]

4 hours ago, Phil Deakins said:

What, imo, is out of order, and shows the person's nature/character for what it really is, is laughing scornfully in someone's face. That's what the laugh does here when used in that way.

I agree and it's why I won't use the laugh that way.

Although I have used it that way once to the very person who does it the most. I figured turnabout is fair play.

Edited January 1, 2019 by Blush Bravin

[Whirly Fizzle]

5 hours ago, Phil Deakins said:

You could write what you think. E.g. that the other's argument is so wrong that it isn't worth any more of your time

But then you're in danger of becomming the proud winner of 4 warning badges 

Edited January 1, 2019 by Whirly Fizzle

[Phil Deakins]

@Blush Bravin

The laugh is for the the last sentence you wrote. It's laughing with and not at

I never use it for scorn either. There are times when a small part of a post makes me smile or laugh and I want to show it, but, because it's only a small part, I don't use the laugh which could be taken the wrong way. I can do it with the small part of your post because I'm also writing the explanation of it.

[Phil Deakins]

13 minutes ago, Whirly Fizzle said:

But then you're in danger of becomming the proud winnder of 4 warning badges 

I'm already the proud winner of 4 warning badges

Actually I won more than 4 but I no longer reflect them because of what I consider to be some idiotic penalising here by some of the staff. The last one was the last straw for me, and I decided to quit SL completely. I'm just waiting for the 2 annual premiums that I have to run out, and then I'm gone. This one runs out this month and the other runs out in March.

To show how idiotic some of the penalising is, 2 of the last 4 warnings I received were overturned because they weren't merited. That's half of them! One on my appeal and the other without me even asking. And I'm sure that a 3rd of them should have been overturned too. It's not the warnings and forum suspensions themselves, although they are often completely wrong, it's coupling them with suspensions from SL that's so idiotic.

Edited January 1, 2019 by Phil Deakins

[Blush Bravin]

4 minutes ago, Phil Deakins said:

@Blush Bravin

The laugh is for the the last sentence you wrote. It's laughing with and not at

I never use it for scorn either. There are times when a small part of a post makes me smile or laugh and I want to show it, but, because it's only a small part, I don't use the laugh which could be taken the wrong way. I can do it with the small part of your post because I'm also writing the explanation of it.

That's how I took it. You didn't need to explain.  

[Bitsy Buccaneer]

Happy New Year to LittleMe. There have been days over the last few years when it was really nice just to know someone had noticed my effort enough to give it a like. Your gestures mattered during difficult times. Thank you x

(And I'm going to leave this here as a surprise and as a little public recognition because it seems fitting)

[Syo Emerald]

7 hours ago, Phil Deakins said:

It has nothing to do with someone feeling abused. It is to do with some people being offensive. Laughing at someone in a scornful way is intentionally offensive, and is done with the intention of affecting the feelings of the victim. It doesn't require the 'victim' to feel abused for it to be an offensive practise.

Imo, such offensive behaviour has no place in this forum. There are many places on the web where offensiveness is both accepted and welcomed, but this isn't one of them.

I used abused, because it was mentioned in Billijoes post before mine, but even if we leave that out and take offensive instead, I still hold the exact same expectation towards an adult. Because let that sink in: An adult being offended by an emoji.

A FREAKING DAMN EMOJI!

Honestly, an adult who isn't trusted to handle a built-in emoji option, should probably also not be trusted to hold a drivers liecence or any sharp or heavy object... If something so laughable (pun not intended) is already offensive, then this forum should also ban any form of disagreement and disliking between all residents. And the only acceptable form of posting should consist of cute, happy baby animals. ...Or they should get rid of all the emojis again, if they are weapons of potential offence.

I would turn it around and say: At least people aren't doing anything worse than using the laugh emoji.

Edited January 1, 2019 by Syo Emerald

[Pamela Galli]

15 minutes ago, Syo Emerald said:

I used abused, because it was mentioned in Billijoes post before mine, but even if we leave that out and take offensive instead, I still hold the exact same expectation towards an adult. Because let that sink in: An adult being offended by an emoji.

A FREAKING DAMN EMOJI!

Honestly, an adult who isn't trusted to handle a built-in emoji option, should probably also not be trusted to hold a drivers liecence or any sharp or heavy object... If something so laughable (pun not intended) is already offensive, then this forum should also ban any form of disagreement and disliking between all residents. And the only acceptable form of posting should consist of cute, happy baby animals. ...Or they should get rid of all the emojis again, if they are weapons of potential offence.

I would turn it around and say: At least people aren't doing anything worse than using the laugh emoji.

Thinking the same thing. Unless it is a forum strictly for cute puppy pics, or very energetically moderated, some people should just stay out. That would include people who are  damaged by seeing the wrong emoji applied to their post. 

I learned how forums operate by hanging out in unmoderated Usenet. Wow. I didn’t need to be told twice to read the FAQ. You did not get your hand slapped so much as your fingers chopped. People who launched themselves into a discussion by violating group norms and insulting others were handed their heads. 

That was in the olden days when there was such a thing as Nettiquet.

 

[Luna Bliss]

Pamela, Syo...I think you're trying to apply a kind of fundamentalist type rule to dynamics that are far more nuanced. If everybody was more emotionally distant, as is the case with many forums, I'd agree with your perception. However many here are actually friends, and in the same way one would usually take offense with a scornful laugh from a friend (basically indicating that one thinks what was uttered is stupid, or that the person speaking IS stupid), I wouldn't think that friendship would last too long if the dynamic happened frequently. Sure, it would seem extreme to me if someone felt abused or unhinged over a scornful laugh emoji, and I agree it doesn't have to be all "cute puppy pics", but feeling offended seems within an appropriate emotional range of response in some cases.

Each interaction between people has to be assessed before we can say how much or even IF a person SHOULD feel offended by a scornful laugh (if we even need to judge at all really), as each person and the dynamic between them is different. Again, some people participate with more distnace, while others are more emotionally invested and think of others here (or at least some of them) as friends.

[Pamela Galli]

Well Luna, there’s where you are confused: what exactly is a friend? I have made it clear in this thread that the people who might deserve a negative emoji reaction are people who hand out insults and abuse, totally without provocation ( and then may complain about the negative reaction). Those are never people I would make friends with. 

[Luna Bliss]

1 hour ago, Pamela Galli said:

2 hours ago, Syo Emerald said:

I used abused, because it was mentioned in Billijoes post before mine, but even if we leave that out and take offensive instead, I still hold the exact same expectation towards an adult. Because let that sink in: An adult being offended by an emoji.

A FREAKING DAMN EMOJI!

Honestly, an adult who isn't trusted to handle a built-in emoji option, should probably also not be trusted to hold a drivers liecence or any sharp or heavy object... If something so laughable (pun not intended) is already offensive, then this forum should also ban any form of disagreement and disliking between all residents. And the only acceptable form of posting should consist of cute, happy baby animals. ...Or they should get rid of all the emojis again, if they are weapons of potential offence.

I would turn it around and say: At least people aren't doing anything worse than using the laugh emoji.

Thinking the same thing.

Syo basically said it's stupid for anyone to be offended by an emoji, and you agreed with her.
I was simply pointing out that it's not appropriate for you or me to determine the validity of someone's emotions. This is because we can't possibly understand all the reasons/experiences in life that contributes to another's feelings, nor are we privy to the relationship between that person and the individual who gave them a scornful emoji, nor do we relate to the forum at the same level of intimacy/distance that others do.

[Lindal Kidd]

15 hours ago, BilliJo Aldrin said:

Its New Year's Day, but maybe just maybe a mod will show up tomorrow and give us an "official" response to the "inappropriate" use of emojis.

I would hope that if it turns out the emojis ARE a vehicle to express negativity and abuse, then LL would remove them entirely.

 

1.  I doubt it.

2.  Don't even go there.  SOME of us (and this means YOU, Scylla!) actually compete for "Likes"...which are the emojis you'd like to remove.  Hey, gimme your laugh emojis...I don't care if it's "with" or "at", it's another pebble on my Mountain of Forum Domination!

[Luna Bliss]

7 hours ago, Pamela Galli said:

Unless it is a forum strictly for cute puppy pics

 

[Phil Deakins]

12 hours ago, Syo Emerald said:

I would turn it around and say: At least people aren't doing anything worse than using the laugh emoji. 

It's all those pathetic little minds have (including some in this thread, who may have been doing it just to show how much of an idiot they can be), without getting themselves suspended from both here and SL. Give them the safe choice though, and they'd do much worse. People can be really nasty in places where it's allowed on the web. That's where their true characters/natures are fully displayed. Here, they're stuck with a little emoji, unless they don't mind being suspended.

Edited January 2, 2019 by Phil Deakins

[Love Zhaoying]

1 minute ago, Phil Deakins said:

It's all those pathetic ittle minds have, without getting themselves suspended from both herre and SL. Give them the safe choice though, and they'd do much worse.

Harsh.

[AyelaNewLife]

12 hours ago, Luna Bliss said:

I was simply pointing out that it's not appropriate for you or me to determine the validity of someone's emotions. 

I agree. But the consequence of this is that it's also not my responsibility to manage someone else's emotions for them. Most reasonable people would make reasonable adjustments to avoid distressing most people, but if someone is going to be offended by something as petty and insignificant as the colour of my hairclips (has happened) or whether a salad emoji has an egg in it (vegans gonna vegan) or if someone uses a laughing reaction emoji ironically, then I am well within my rights to roll my eyes and keep walking. I cannot keep everyone happy, nor should I be expected to.

Edit: Of course, this doesn't justify going out of my way to cause someone else distress either.

Edited January 2, 2019 by AyelaNewLife
typo and extra bit