Non-mesh avatars keep out

[Madi Melodious]

14 hours ago, Charalyne Blackwood said:

"used to". I can't say I've had to deal with any "creepy lesbian" patrons. Males like that have no real idea how to be convincing females.

"Second Life!!! Where Men are Men, and so are Half the Women!"

[Cristiano Midnight]

1 hour ago, Scylla Rhiadra said:

And Boystown, which apparently is men only -- I actually don't understand and really DO find that a bit offensive. Are the men afraid that women are going to be competing with them? Or does the appearance of a woman just spoil the scene? (In RL, when I was in my 20s, I would occasionally go dancing with gfs at a local gay male club. It was ideal in many ways: nice music, dance, and no one trying to pick you up or grope you on the dance floor. And the men there were lovely: they were welcoming and thought we were kind of a hoot.)

A lot of gay places have that restriction, depending on the place. I find it silly. I was part of a gay rp lite community and they would not even allow female visitors, so of course I invited over female friends all the time

On the flip side, there is a member of my forums who has a club that is female avs only. I am welcome to go, but only if I wear a female av, which is arbitrary AF. I don't demand that she allows me to come as is, as it is her place, but it doesn't mean I think these sex-selected spaces aren't stupid. Yeah, I get it, women want a place to not be harassed by men, etc. It cuts both ways I suppose, but in either case, I am not a fan.

There is a semi-popular gay sex beach that has a sign that I found offensive. It spelled out very clearly that avis had to be male, and if they were trans and did not have a *****, they had to remain covered, blah blah blah. It reminded me very much of the Grindr thing that used to be common - no fats, no fems, no blacks, no asians. I told the owner what I thought of the sign, and needless to say, it did not go well.

[Madi Melodious]

4 hours ago, Love Zhaoying said:

Pretty much my own situation (although I moved to mesh years ago, I never change it except 1 recent update). 

Mesh was a god send to child avatars in SL.  I still remember my first attempts at a child avatar with system.   Just no.  

[Madi Melodious]

1 hour ago, Ingrid Ingersoll said:

I dunno but the gay clubs in my city absolutely welcome women. 

I love going to gay clubs with my gay friends.  I'm never hit on in crude ways and I've never had to mace someone in the parking lot that couldn't take 'no' for an answer. 

[Cristiano Midnight]

1 hour ago, Scylla Rhiadra said:

And Boystown, which apparently is men only -- I actually don't understand and really DO find that a bit offensive. Are the men afraid that women are going to be competing with them? Or does the appearance of a woman just spoil the scene? (In RL, when I was in my 20s, I would occasionally go dancing with gfs at a local gay male club. It was ideal in many ways: nice music, dance, and no one trying to pick you up or grope you on the dance floor. And the men there were lovely: they were welcoming and thought we were kind of a hoot.)

Boystown alows women in some places - I go to an event there on Saturday nights called The Mist, and there is a mixed crowd and female friends have gone with me many times. I do think they limit some of the spaces to men only because it is also an adult sex place.

Gay clubs in RL are usually mixed as well, but sex clubs are often men only. It is not because they find women offensive, they are just more comfortable in their own spaces in certain situations. Also, the bane of a gay club is the drunk bachelorettes lol. They get very grabby and loud.

[Ayashe Ninetails]

I'm not sure just how common no mesh restrictions are, but I know I've run into a few places that aren't fond of non-human and fantasy avatars. If I really like the place, I'll make a few changes. I put together a land mermaid avatar I can use for beach sims that no one (so far) has taken any issue with.

I have gotten into the habit of warning people before they teleport me to clubs or wherever, though. Just FYI, I'm pink at the moment. Oh, they don't give a damn? Ok tp me.

[Kimmi Zehetbauer]

15 hours ago, Cristiano Midnight said:

There is another reason I have heard from some people. They feel that non-mesh avatars could be more distinctive than the sea of mesh heads that do kind of look samey after awhile. They are attached to their look, and haven't been able to replicate it in mesh, so they stay as they are.

Like Philip Linden and his classic avatar.  I can see if one of those "exclusive" mesh only clubs 86 him! 🤣 I think that would make the rounds and look really bad for the venue that would do that.

Edited July 6 by Kimmi Zehetbauer
Old.

[Scylla Rhiadra]

45 minutes ago, Cristiano Midnight said:

On the flip side, there is a member of my forums who has a club that is female avs only. I am welcome to go, but only if I wear a female av, which is arbitrary AF.

Yeah, this is the part that, in an SL context, doesn't make any real sense.

There IS a point to safe spaces for women in RL, mostly (but not entirely) for women who have been abused or assaulted. In SL, of course, there isn't the same kind of danger facing women. And, as men can (and often do) represent as women anyway, banning "men" from a place is in essence only banning the representation of men. And one can still find oneself hit upon or harassed by someone using a female avatar.

I suppose the same logic might be applied here:

27 minutes ago, Cristiano Midnight said:

Gay clubs in RL are usually mixed as well, but sex clubs are often men only. It is not because they find women offensive, they are just more comfortable in their own spaces in certain situations.

On the whole, I don't think that there are many women who are interested in watching gay men go at it (although, who knows?). But the point is that all that you can actually, in practice, do is ban women avatars, not actual RL women. The same is of course true of lesbian sex places: if a man gets off on watching lesbian sex, he need only use a female alt.

So the "comfort" that comes from male- or female-only sex spaces is either an illusion, or it is purely about the visuals.

[Love Zhaoying]

1 hour ago, Cristiano Midnight said:

the Grindr thing that used to be common - no fats, no fems, no blacks, no asians

Famously, Grindr removed the option to search/filter by race.

[Eddy Vortex]

16 hours ago, Ingrid Ingersoll said:

WHADYA MEAN I DONT LOOK GOOD

 

Who's dunking on Ruth?! She's a classic beauty!

[Sammy Huntsman]

On 7/5/2024 at 3:35 PM, BilliJo Aldrin said:

I want to start out by saying, yes the owner has an absolute right to decide who can enter their premises. 

Now that we have that out of the way…

For the longest time Adult entertainment establishments have insisted that their staff must be 100% mesh, and I can understand that. They only want “Top Shelf” avatars in order to attract tipping customers. 

But I’m starting to notice a new trend, where club owners insist the customers be 100% mesh as well. I took a tp from a male aquaintance, and before anyone was fully rezzed I got an im from a staff member saying all guests must be 100% mesh. My response was LOLOL, I’m out of here, but before I could decide where to go, I got bounced. It was one of thise mysogyny clubs, where the “gentlemen” could have their way with the damaged goods. 

The funniest part was the $1000L joining fee. I guess for that price they expect only 100% mesh sl*ts.

I was randomly checking groups in someones profile, and there it was again, only mesh avis allowed.

Is this a new trend? Considering that one can derender any avatars that don’t meet someones high standards, it seems conterproductive to ban that segment of the grid that isn’t 100% mesh.

Just my thoughts.  I’ve been away for a week, and the desire to constantly post and reply has been broken. Hopefully I won’t fall back into that rut.

😁

Nope, it has been around forever. However, as you said before they are free to allow whoever they want in their club. Even if it's 100% Mesh only. I really don't see a problem with it, and you are making no sense here. You are okay with it, but not okay with it. What is going on here? 

[Love Zhaoying]

10 minutes ago, Eddy Vortex said:

16 hours ago, Ingrid Ingersoll said:

Who's dunking on Ruth?! She's a classic beauty!

A literal "blushing beauty"!

[Cristiano Midnight]

54 minutes ago, Scylla Rhiadra said:

So the "comfort" that comes from male- or female-only sex spaces is either an illusion, or it is purely about the visuals.

To be fair, all sex in SL is an illusion.

Also, to your other point, I recently had a weird experience. I got close to someone, even voiced with them, and they were very very into gay sex. I eventually found out they were a woman, which was a whole other issue, but I guess there are women who do enjoy it in the same way men enjoy two women.

[Cristiano Midnight]

13 minutes ago, Sammy Huntsman said:

Nope, it has been around forever. However, as you said before they are free to allow whoever they want in their club. Even if it's 100% Mesh only. I really don't see a problem with it, and you are making no sense here. You are okay with it, but not okay with it. What is going on here? 

Welcome to her posts lol.

[Roxy Couturier]

7 hours ago, brodiac90 said:

That and people get attached to their avatars. I know when I came to upgrading my system head that I really struggled to find one that worked for me at first. I think for some people, their system avatar is them at this point and I totally get that. 

I resisted getting a mesh head for quite a while this same reason. Even getting a mesh body took some time. One on the reasons is that I had gotten compliments from someone that was with me every day and they hadn't realized I wasn't mesh (somewhere around 2015-2016 era). A soft facelight and well made skins, makeup and clothing 'blurred' the system body and face to avoid the tell tale signs of system..ness. What really tipped it over for me was when -I- couldn't not notice the system look.

That being said, nowadays I'm fully mesh. It's taken a lot of work to create a pleasing AV. Not just for myself but for those I care about. (Who the hell wants someone that puts no effort into themselves to have dominance over them?) While It doesn't matter to me if someone is mesh or system in a social setting, on a personal, relationship level, I want partners that put the same care and work into their appearance.

Ultimately, that's a personal choice.

If, on the other hand, I were in it for the money the only appearance I'd care about is how fat their $L wallet was.

[Madi Melodious]

25 minutes ago, Cristiano Midnight said:

To be fair, all sex in SL is an illusion.

I've never been able to get past that part of SL sex.  

But with that said my adult alt and her husband wanted to spice things up a few years ago, so decided to give it a try.  They bought a x-rated treestump.  We'll pause while you digest that.

Ready?  Okay moving on.  Did it spice up the evening?  Why yes it did, but not in any adult SL sex way.  By the time they had cycled through the animations they were laughing so hard any thoughts of any "erotic" roleplaying was done.  

Edited July 6 by Madi Melodious

[Sammy Huntsman]

Just now, Madi Melodious said:

I've never been able to get past that part of SL sex.  

But with that said my adult alt and her husband wanted to spice things up a few years ago, so decided to give it a try.  They bought a x-rated treestump.  We'll pause while you digest that.

Ready?  Okay moving on.  Did it spice up the evening?  Why yes it did, but not in any adult SL sex way.  By the time they had cycled through the animations they were laughing so hard any thoughts of any "erotic" roleplaying was done.  

TBH I never understood SL Sex either. I mean I don't even get off on emoting or even the animations. It is just a pointless endeavour. Lol 

[sirhc DeSantis]

Fascinating. Just pooped in to see what the Friday Thing was going to be. Well done

[Starberry Passion]

The truth is is that people like Mesh avatars a lot more than system avatars. If you want the honest truth, there it is. Why? They look better. The more expensive you look, the more people are going to like it, even if you are wearing little.

Reborn = Very sexy and have a youthful adult slim thick look, so of course they'll be the most loved. You can say maitreya is the most popular body but majority of people would rather bang a Reborn, that's what I see all the time.

Same with Legacy, it's not as popular but it has a youthful adult look, it's a beautiful body, only thing people don't like is the price, and the hud. It's my favorite body, I understand that all bodies are an investment and are expensive in the long run. I wear legacy petite constantly, I use to wear reborn all the time and I get way more flirts on a Legacy or a Reborn.

Maitreya is very passable, still around and people will still try to bang you even though most people think it's for the older crowd, on average.

Kupra is thicc, it might have fallen a bit but it's still a nice body and I still see it used for bimbo body inspired looks, here and there.

The bodies I hardly see are System bodies.

The more your body looks good the more attention it'll get and the more attention it gets the more people will most likely come in. If you look good, that's more money for you and the club, if you decide to work there.

[Quartz Mole]

Friendly reminder that not every thread has to be about Child Avatars (or about PBR, come to that).   Nor is what constitutes "hate speech" on topic for this thread.

[Ingrid Ingersoll]

10 minutes ago, Starberry Passion said:

Maitreya is very passable, still around and people will still try to bang you even though most people think it's for the older crowd, on average.

Or the lazy. Most of the clothing I bought, i chucked the versions that don't fit maitreya. Would have to have my entire clothing inventory re-delivered to get the Rebourne versions. I like the rebourne body, the hips are good.

[Clem Marques]

19 minutes ago, Starberry Passion said:

Maitreya is very passable, still around and people will still try to bang you even though most people think it's for the older crowd, on average.

Maitreya always wins in my book, and that's probably the case for many others. It's the most popular for a reason. It's also the easiest body to create a realistic look with. Just looks great. Saying that it's "passable" and "for the older crowd" seems unfair. But people are entitled to their opinions, and to choose whatever body they want for their avatars, of course. Though Reborn does have some very good-looking "curvy" add-ons that don't exist for Maitreya. So that's something to keep in mind as well.

Edited July 6 by Clem Marques
Added the phrase about Reborn

[Bubblesort Triskaidekaphobia]

5 hours ago, Scylla Rhiadra said:

Totally. I really don't get this restriction.

Straight women in gay bars is a deep topic, but I think this video hits some of the important points of the issues.  Not many of these issues apply to SL, but I think this gives you an idea of the dynamic, IMHO.

I remember when smart phones were new, we had issues with straight people coming in and innocently snapping selfies at the gay bar, as if being outed wasn't a deadly danger to many of the gay people there.  I nearly saw some fights break out over that.

How does this apply to SL?  I'm not sure it does.  In SL, you can change from male to female with an outfit change, so who cares?  The gender these rules apply to is the gender that's an outfit.  Nobody cares if you are in a male avatar, but you're being all dramatic, and telling people you are a woman IRL (nobody cares).  If you're in a male avatar they will probably let it go.  So gender is just part of the dress code.  If you don't like the dress code, don't be there.  Maybe go to one of the female only lesbian clubs, instead.  I hear they have a nice tea house somewhere.

[Starberry Passion]

3 minutes ago, Clem Marques said:

Maitreya always wins in my book, and that's probably the case for many others. It's the most popular for a reason. It's also the easiest body to create a realistic look with. Just looks great. Saying that it's "passable" and "for the older crowd" seems unfair. But people are entitled to their opinions, and to choose whatever body they want for their avatars, of course.

Sorry, I've been to several adult sims and majority of them I see are either Reborn or Legacy. A few maitreya are sprinkled in between, especially in the Femboy area, none more than Reborn. But I respect your opinion but they've even made memes about Maitreya for a while now, especially on V.S. That's why Maitreya updated the body to Lara X and put out the statement "No Lara is not for 45+ year olds."

[Ingrid Ingersoll]

5 minutes ago, Bubblesort Triskaidekaphobia said:

So gender is just part of the dress code.  If you don't like the dress code, don't be there.  Maybe go to one of the female only lesbian clubs, instead.  I hear they have a nice tea house somewhere.

That's pretty much what I do. I just avoid them under the assumption that someone is going to get dramatic about my avi. I think it stings a bit more though because I AM a woman irl and I can't help feeling like this is just stupid given my experience with gay clubs irl. When I was youger. 

Not sure how I feel about your lesbian tea house comment but ok.