Women's expectations: Unrealistic

[Randall Ahren]

11 minutes ago, Robberinthemuseum said:

I get to explore my sexuality, meet people I would never get to meet in rl and experience art instalations in a way I can't in rl. I expect the women in sl are going around doing their own thing too 🤷‍♂️. What are we discussing again?

Evidently, the reasons why there is so much promiscuity in SL, aka, Sex Life.

[Persephone Emerald]

5 hours ago, Arielle Popstar said:

There are also those cultures where the woman and her family had to offer a dowry for a man to take a woman off their hands.

A proper dowery belongs to the wife and goes back with her if the husband dissolves the marriage.

[Silent Mistwalker]

14 minutes ago, Ayashe Ninetails said:

The only real way to settle this is for us womenz to post photos of what our ideal SL hotties would look like and let the menz judge how realistic/unrealistic our expectations really are. Put those alt-making skills to work, ladies!

Just kidding. 😄

There still aren't enough Sam Elliotts to go around! 🥰

[Persephone Emerald]

5 hours ago, Ceka Cianci said:

There is lots of those kinds of things.. A lot of it  had more to do with other things than love..

Most were arranged..

Last I heard, arranged marriages still have a really good success rate where love comes later if it comes..

"Success" might not mean much in societies that either don't permit divorce or highly discourage it.

[Silent Mistwalker]

7 minutes ago, Persephone Emerald said:

Women have been considered property only in strongly patriarchal societies. In matriarchal societies, women are not considered property. In societies in which men and woman are considered socially equal they are not automatically considered property either. A slave might be property, but I wife would not be. In Celtic and I think Viking society, a wife could sometimes divorce her husband. 

In another society, the women owned the home and most of what was in it. The men married into the woman's clan. Man comes home and finds his personal belongings outside the door; he knew he was divorced. Nothing he could do to change it. Woman says go, you go, or you'll have the rest of the men running you off. 

[Persephone Emerald]

4 hours ago, Ceka Cianci said:

I agree because, Who in their right mind doesn't love Pineapple on their pizza these days?

This isn't the 1700's! \o/

 

hehehe

Side note: in the 1700s, offering pineapple to one's guests was considered a high form of hospitality.

https://www.iup.edu/management/about/hotel-restaurant-tourism-event-management/symbol-of-hospitality/index.html#:~:text=Due to its seemingly exotic,a ripe pineapple for guests.

[Persephone Emerald]

4 hours ago, Luna Bliss said:

South Americans often combine fruit with main dish/tomato-based recipes, but here in America we find it strange. I discovered the deliciousness of it in more recent years, trying food from that area of the world.

Tomato is a fruit too. The acid in fruits pairs well with the fat in meat. Of course, wine is also a good source for acid to pair with fatty meat.

[Love Zhaoying]

1 hour ago, Persephone Emerald said:

My realistic expectations are that if someone (generally a guy) wants to fool around in virtual sexy time with Persephone or Alycia, they should have a good-looking avatar, have at least a partially filled-out profile, be interesting to talk with, be respectful toward me as an intelligent and feeling person, and be able to text coherently in full words, if not full always sentences. I don't care how they look in RL or how much money they have. I care about how they act, how they think, and how their avatar looks. 

Well said! This echoes my own perspective.

[Scylla Rhiadra]

1 hour ago, Persephone Emerald said:

Women have been considered property only in strongly patriarchal societies. In matriarchal societies, women are not considered property. In societies in which men and woman are considered socially equal they are not automatically considered property either. A slave might be property, but a wife would not be. In Celtic and I think Viking society, a wife could sometimes divorce her husband.

In the west, the process by which women have gained "personhood" -- and an associated freedom from being considered someone else's property -- has been a very slow and gradual one. While married women were theoretically "persons" in their own right legally, it wasn't until the 18th and 19th centuries that laws granting women the right to possess their own property, earn their own money, etc. were developed. Until the mid-18th century in Britain, men had the right to literally lock up their wives indefinitely.

In the US, women were only granted equal rights to file for divorce in the 1930s -- before that date, only men could effectively "escape" a marriage; women were trapped.

And laws against marital r*pe, based on the apparently revolutionary idea that a woman's body was literally not the property of her husband to use howsoever he desired, whenever he wished, are astonishingly recent: in the US, marital r*pe was only recognized by all states in the mid-1990s, and some states still do not classify it as a crime of the same seriousness as non-marital r*pe.

And don't get me started on reproductive rights, and the loss of control over their own bodies that many women are suddenly facing, or have had to deal with always.

In other words, it's complicated: "equal rights" can exist on paper in a statute somewhere, but be effectively nullified by another, usually much older law, still on the books somewhere else. There are a great many different elements involved in ensuring that women are actually and in practical terms "owners of themselves."

(This post is a duplicate of one currently being held awaiting "moderation.")

Edited September 16, 2023 by Scylla Rhiadra

[Paul Hexem]

6 minutes ago, Scylla Rhiadra said:

In other words, it's complicated: "equal rights" can exist on paper in a statute somewhere, but be effectively nullified by another, usually much older law, still on the books somewhere else.

It's interesting that so many laws around marriage in particular are straight up bad for both men and women yet have never been repealed.

[Persephone Emerald]

2 minutes ago, Scylla Rhiadra said:

In the west, the process by which women have gained "personhood" -- and an associated freedom from being considered someone else's property -- has been a very slow and gradual one. While married women were theoretically "persons" in their own right legally, it was until the 18th and 19th centuries that laws granting women the right to possess her own property, earn her own money, etc. were developed. Until the mid-18th century in Britain, men had the right to literally lock up their wives indefinitely.

In the US, women were only granted equal rights to file for divorce in the 1930s -- before that date, only men could effectively "escape" a marriage; women were trapped.

And laws against marital r*pe, based on the apparently revolutionary idea that a woman's body was literally not the property of her husband to use howsoever he desired, whenever he wished, are astonishingly recent: in the US, marital r*pe was only recognized by all states in the mid-1990s, and some states still do not classify it as a crime of the same seriousness as non-marital r*pe.

And don't get me started on reproductive rights, and the loss of control over their own bodies that many women are suddenly facing, or have had to deal with always.

In other words, it's complicated: "equal rights" can exist on paper in a statute somewhere, but be effectively nullified by another, usually much older law, still on the books somewhere else. There are a great many different elements involved in ensuring that women are actually and in practical terms "owners of themselves."

(This post is a duplicate of one currently being held awaiting "moderation.")

I was gonna say these kinds of views seem most common in monotheist cultures with a male central diety, but then I remembered India. Women being treated as second class people has not been universally true throughout history, but it sure has been common for a long time.

[Scylla Rhiadra]

13 minutes ago, Paul Hexem said:

It's interesting that so many laws around marriage in particular are straight up bad for both men and women yet have never been repealed.

I think that's exactly right -- bad for both men and women. Something that some people don't appreciate is that social, legal, and political reforms that bring about equality are as beneficial to men as they are to women.

It's not actually most men who benefit from patriarchy, which merely provides the illusion that they are "empowered" because they have more rights than someone else.

Laws around marriage have always, in the West anyway, been predicated upon control over property and wealth. And for that reason, they have been written with the wealthy in mind.

Follow the money, as they say. Who benefits?

It's not the vast majority of men.

In a more SL-related context, although the same kinds of outdated conventions don't apply, I DO think that those men who are NOT willing to treat women as equals in every respect are also cheating themselves. SL is a better place for everyone if it is a more civil and just place.

Edited September 16, 2023 by Scylla Rhiadra

[UnilWay SpiritWeaver]

23 minutes ago, Scylla Rhiadra said:

I think that's exactly right -- bad for both men and women. Something that some people don't appreciate is that social, legal, and political reforms that bring about equality are as beneficial to men as they are to women.

Follow the money, as they say. Who benefits?

It's not the vast majority of men.

This is really how all systems of oppression work. Get one set of people to put down another "for their own protection" in that a way that actually hurts both but strangely benefits a third set of people who sit outside of the fight and go "wow, those rabble sure do waste a lot of time and energy bickering, whatever for..." when the for is the very element that keeps that third side in power.

You can this in class, sex, race, even the balance of power between nation states. The powerful set the rest of the people against each other, and then collect their power as a result of that fight.

 

[Scylla Rhiadra]

1 minute ago, UnilWay SpiritWeaver said:

This is really how all systems of oppression work. Get one set of people to put down another "for their own protection" in that a way that actually hurts both but strangely benefits a third set of people who sit outside of the fight and go "wow, those rabble sure do waste a lot of time and energy bickering, whatever for..." when the for is the very element that keeps that third side in power.

You can this in class, sex, race, even the balance of power between nation states. The powerful set the rest of the people against each other, and then collect their power as a result of that fight.

 

Very much.

I'm so tired of people treating social justice as though it were an arms race, or a contest with winners and losers. The stakes for all of us are the same: a more civil and just more livable world.

And this does apply to SL. One frequently hears both men and women "strategizing" about relationships, especially romantic and sexual ones, as though bargaining from "a position of strength" were key to happiness.

It's not. Constructing an in-world culture in which openness and trust rather than wariness is.

[Robberinthemuseum]

9 minutes ago, Scylla Rhiadra said:

Very much.

I'm so tired of people treating social justice as though it were an arms race, or a contest with winners and losers. The stakes for all of us are the same: a more civil and just more livable world.

And this does apply to SL. One frequently hears both men and women "strategizing" about relationships, especially romantic and sexual ones, as though bargaining from "a position of strength" were key to happiness.

It's not. Constructing an in-world culture in which openness and trust rather than wariness is.

I 100% agree with this. It's ridiculous to pit men and women against each other since we are both sides of the same coin and complement each other perfectly. This whole, "dating isn't fair", sh!t is foolishness. If someone wants to date in sl, @Persephone Emerald gave the formula. Said person should update their avatar and personality. Life isn't fair. It's not meant to be fair. Natural selection is picky 🤣. If nobody wants you, it's up to you to make yourself more appealing as a partner haha. I feel ridiculous writing this. It's so obvious 😂. Oh well, I'm toddling off now back to the bbq. 

Edited September 16, 2023 by Robberinthemuseum

[Stephanie Misfit]

5 hours ago, Ceka Cianci said:

I've been asked if I wanted to be a porn star at shopping events..Sometimes those people will be lurking right at the land points.. lol

I've been asked to have some dude's baby at Doux hair, in fact, I have been hit on several times at that store. I've definitely had guys creep on me at shopping events, and you can tell they are just IMing every female avatar on their radar by how quickly they hit on you after you land there. Women just don't do this crap, female avatars played by men might, but women don't.

[Robberinthemuseum]

2 minutes ago, Stephanie Misfit said:

I've been asked to have some dude's baby at Doux hair, in fact, I have been hit on several times at that store. I've definitely had guys creep on me at shopping events, and you can tell they are just IMing every female avatar on their radar by how quickly they hit on you after you land there. Women just don't do this crap, female avatars played by men might, but women don't.

Correct, women usually crack jokes and take advantage of other residents' spankers as opposed to sending creepy ims. 😅

[Ceka Cianci]

2 hours ago, Persephone Emerald said:

"Success" might not mean much in societies that either don't permit divorce or highly discourage it.

I was more going on about in the states and not world wide..

With a marriage foundation built on other things, there might be more reasons not to get divorced than there is to get divorced..

Marriage really is nothing more than a contract between two people.. A lot could be peoples perspective of what marriage is..

Some may see it as a spiritual and emotional tie, where some may see it for what it really is as a partner binding contract..

I'm no expert on why people get divorced really.. I know my fair share of people that jumped in way too soon and didn't give time to really get to know each other.. Those didn't end well or last too long..

I do think though that if people don't look at the legal side of marriage and just pay attention to the emotional side of it, they could be in for a hurting down the road..  It's a big legal step and not good to go into something binding as that with one eye closed..

 

 

 

 

 

[Ceka Cianci]

2 hours ago, Persephone Emerald said:

Side note: in the 1700s, offering pineapple to one's guests was considered a high form of hospitality.

https://www.iup.edu/management/about/hotel-restaurant-tourism-event-management/symbol-of-hospitality/index.html#:~:text=Due to its seemingly exotic,a ripe pineapple for guests.

I just threw the 1700's in there to be evilishly silly.. kind of like, if anyone didn't like pineapple on their pizza they were  living in the past.. hehehe

[Ceka Cianci]

41 minutes ago, Stephanie Misfit said:

I've been asked to have some dude's baby at Doux hair, in fact, I have been hit on several times at that store. I've definitely had guys creep on me at shopping events, and you can tell they are just IMing every female avatar on their radar by how quickly they hit on you after you land there. Women just don't do this crap, female avatars played by men might, but women don't.

Ya, in SL I take a lot of it with a block of salt really.. If they are men or women it really doesn't matter to me.. It's not going anywhere anyways.. hehehe

[Istelathis]

3 minutes ago, Ceka Cianci said:

I just threw the 1700's in there to be evilishly silly.. kind of like, if anyone didn't like pineapple on their pizza they were  living in the past.. hehehe

I find it kind of funny, but it really does show us just how easily manipulated we are.  I hope when people see that I bring up pineapple on pizza, it is just a form of me laughing at the insanity of our society.  I mean, yeah, it is evil and all, but in the end, we all love pizza.  The FSM may not approve, but he really is not that judgmental and all it takes is a sacrifice or two to save the sinners.

 

You see, you pineapple on Pizza people are destabilizing the US.. 

[blissfulbreeze]

 Most have an image in our mind of who we want in SL, our checklist. 

We say that looks really won't matter but then when we meet an avatar face to face, we find them unattractive and pretty much write them off. The thing is to give it some time... but most won't. 

We make picket signs and say give me a decent man/woman that is not vain/materialistic/a liar etc then we meet them and we find them boring. 

The exciting ones are the bad boys/girls. Human nature likes risks and excitement. 
 

I've been with bad boys and yes it was exciting. I've also had great conversations with the simple men who were intellectual. I gave it time and we were like two peas in a pod. 
 

After awhile, you get bored and sick of the bad boys/girls, there is not much substance. It all depends on which phase we are in, are we looking for excitement or depth? 

So, it can be variable. This week's bad girl who wants a bad guy, may want a good guy next year and vice versa for men. When I am roaming around looking for good conversation, I run into drooling men who IM the women the same things, hoping one would respond .The timing sucks. 

Timing and phases. 

We need hangouts for those who want depth, yet people don't seem to go when they do exist because that night they want excitement. 

 

Edited September 16, 2023 by blissfulbreeze

[Ceka Cianci]

2 minutes ago, Istelathis said:

I find it kind of funny, but it really does show us just how easily manipulated we are.  I hope when people see that I bring up pineapple on pizza, it is just a form of me laughing at the insanity of our society.  I mean, yeah, it is evil and all, but in the end, we all love pizza.  The FSM may not approve, but he really is not that judgmental and all it takes is a sacrifice or two to save the sinners.

 

You see, you pineapple on Pizza people are destabilizing the US.. 

It's all in good fun..

I wonder if the fruity sauce of Tomatoes ever had the problems pineapple does with being on pizza.. hehehe

[Love Zhaoying]

3 hours ago, Scylla Rhiadra said:

I think that's exactly right -- bad for both men and women. Something that some people don't appreciate is that social, legal, and political reforms that bring about equality are as beneficial to men as they are to women.

It's not actually most men who benefit from patriarchy, which merely provides the illusion that they are "empowered" because they have more rights than someone else.

Laws around marriage have always, in the West anyway, been predicated upon control over property and wealth. And for that reason, they have been written with the wealthy in mind.

Follow the money, as they say. Who benefits?

It's not the vast majority of men.

In a more SL-related context, although the same kinds of outdated conventions don't apply, I DO think that those men who are NOT willing to treat women as equals in every respect are also cheating themselves. SL is a better place for everyone if it is a more civil and just place.

Scylla for SL President!!

[Ceka Cianci]

10 hours ago, Persephone Emerald said:

Women have been considered property only in strongly patriarchal societies. In matriarchal societies, women are not considered property. In societies in which men and woman are considered socially equal they are not automatically considered property either. A slave might be property, but a wife would not be. In Celtic and I think Viking society, a wife could sometimes divorce her husband. 

I was referring to when marriage first came about.. It's been around  longer than recorded history.. So I was going by it's first recordings and not it's whole history..Thats all I could really find at the start.. Google is pretty useless these days so I could only get so much.. But it showed it's first recording at around 4350 years ago..

It was more about the families and the ties than it was about the couple themselves..The couples didn't really even have a choice in the matter back then ,if the history is correct and not mythed to oblivion...

Edited September 16, 2023 by Ceka Cianci