Non-binary

[Solar Legion]

6 minutes ago, Sammy Huntsman said:

Their lives are more in danger than that of someone who is not in a war-torn country. 

Oh for the love of ...

I am only going to say this once so pay attention: If you are LGBTQ+ there are a whole host of countries and situations wherein your life could be in danger and no singular instance is more important or worthy of discussion/mention than another - end of story.

If you're going to go down that road, stay on the sidelines.

[Love Zhaoying]

11 minutes ago, Arielle Popstar said:

Do you identify as non-binary or speaking for them?

Are you asking out of curiosity, or just being contrary?

[Love Zhaoying]

7 minutes ago, Solar Legion said:

Oh for the love of ...

I am only going to say this once so pay attention: If you are LGBTQ+ there are a whole host of countries and situations wherein your life could be in danger and no singular instance is more important or worthy of discussion/mention than another - end of story.

If you're going to go down that road, stay on the sidelines.

But but..the children!!1!

[Solar Legion]

2 minutes ago, Love Zhaoying said:

But but..the children!!1!

Ah ... If only those who actually use such "reasoning" were truly serious about it instead of using children as a cover/vehicle for their own designs ...

Edited April 12, 2022 by Solar Legion

[Arielle Popstar]

6 minutes ago, Love Zhaoying said:

Are you asking out of curiosity, or just being contrary?

curiousity

[Robberinthemuseum]

1 hour ago, Bree Giffen said:

It's called the fallacy of relative privation.

https://academy4sc.org/video/fallacy-of-relative-privation-all-problems-are-relative/

Yes this

[Love Zhaoying]

5 minutes ago, Arielle Popstar said:

12 minutes ago, Love Zhaoying said:

Are you asking out of curiosity, or just being contrary?

curiousity

Google works. 

[Arielle Popstar]

1 minute ago, Love Zhaoying said:

Google works. 

 

[Love Zhaoying]

To sum it up: "I asked a question about non-binary but couldn't get a yes-or-no answer."

Let that sink in.

[Love Zhaoying]

3 minutes ago, Arielle Popstar said:

 

You don't have to understand everything; neither is everyone obliged to explain everything to you using terms you both understand and agree with.

[Arielle Popstar]

2 minutes ago, Love Zhaoying said:

To sum it up: "I asked a question about non-binary but couldn't get a yes-or-no answer."

Let that sink in.

If you look back you would see I asked the question, Ayashe Ninetails answered, I thanked her and then the troll brigade kicked in.

Let that sink in

[Paul Hexem]

[Rowan Amore]

[Love Zhaoying]

6 minutes ago, Arielle Popstar said:

If you look back you would see I asked the question, Ayashe Ninetails answered, I thanked her and then the troll brigade kicked in.

Let that sink in

Ooh I thought you didn't like the answers and kept questioning them. My bad!

[Arielle Popstar]

3 minutes ago, Love Zhaoying said:

You don't have to understand everything; neither is everyone obliged to explain everything to you using terms you both understand and agree with.

Ayashe Ninetails answered and pretty much confirmed what I was suspecting. I know people inworld who identify as non-binary and know and have known people in real who to a greater or lesser degree fit the descriptions given even as I do myself, just without the use of that particular label. 

It is interesting that the only ones who make such a fuss are those thinking they are supporting them.

[Codex Alpha]

On 4/9/2022 at 7:52 PM, Coffee Pancake said:

I wish it was easier to make a case to LL when harassment and abuse extends beyond what a simple block and move on can accomplish.

You can't block someone who spins up multiple alts in your name, clones your profile and then though seemingly magical powers stalks you around the grid and IM's your friends pretending they are you (and a dozen other equally nasty things). Self imposed ignorance that comes from just blocking then becomes part of the harassers toolkit, they expect you to block them, that's part of the game plan - You can't report what you can't see, and no one can make a case to LL on your behalf.

I've personal experience of this kind of dedicated *phobe, their goal wasn't to be get up in my face and be an edgy jerk, their goal was to systematically undermine the relationships I had in SL and drive me and my friends from the platform. The gaslighting went on for months and got to the point that some even started to openly suggest I was my own abuser and it was some kind of weird attempt to get sympathy.

The only mistake he made was choosing to target more than one person in the same social group, which eventually meant there were times when the abuse continued and the victims were verifiably incapable of being the person responsible (here's me, calling you on skype, and sitting with my hands on my head, on cam, visibly distraught while the abuse continues).

In the end, it turned out I wasn't his primary target. They quit SL, burnt all their socials and links back to SL (and switched their kid to a different school) He won, moved on and the campaign in SL ceased overnight.

 

What did LL do during all of this and the constant flood of abuse reports? NOTHING. Because in each isolated case, the individual making the report could just block the specific throw away account that was harassing them.

I even phoned them in tears and got told "I'm very sorry, but we can't do anything, you have to file an abuse report".

It wasn't till YEARS later that I finally managed to get the clone accounts removed.

Hey, people like that need to get banned. Period. My response and suggestions were for the the other 99.9% of the encounters in SL, Sansar or any other virtual platform which are not even close to being that harmful and hateful - but of course the manipulators will most certainly equate the encounter to that level...

In general, it's best to not argue an exception or extreme and promote it as a rule or that it is a regular occurrence in SL or other.

 

There are also tattle-talers - yes the classic tattletalers who will look for any offense and run and tattetale to any authority figure that will pay attention - as they get a deep thrill out of wielding power against others - and just like in elementary school when our teacher would frown when someone is bugging him/her over trivial stupid issues - the block button helps Lindens not get involved in every little spat until serious TOS has been broken.

Tattletalers and anyone 'offended' at everything and anything can be just as damaging, if not worse IMO, than a troll or griefer I can just ignore in 0.0001 seconds - as they have a deeper psychological issue at play that can seriously damage a community - I've seen it.

My suggestions are not to hand-wave, dismiss or promote such disruptive behaviour or the victims of it, but to pretty much reserve the Lindens' time to those who really need to be dealt with - as all the crying wolf, lies and exaggerations by most reports hurt the trust in legitimate complaints.

This is good for both sides; Those who are legitimate victims and those who don't want to be tattled on just because they triggered someone somewhere.

 

[Coffee Pancake]

Nonbinary can be difficult to really explain and get across as it is such a broad umbrella term, that then gets subdivided down to the Nth degree as those who are seek short hand to give more details without needing to hand over their entire back story.

Where as once upon a time someone might have been identified as a tomboy or butch, they now have a far greater vocabulary to cover their very personal relationship with gender, sexualities' and their expression thereof.

Even in the traditional world of the western gender binary, there has always been a huge variation in how cis people approach their respective gender, there has always been terms like tomboy or butch.

A greater focus on gender now is really just giving people more tools to define themselves and showing care to respect other people's identities.

 

My SO and my kid are both non binary in completely different ways with completely different starting points, presentations, sexuallity and goals.

This isn't something they have been convinced of or indoctrinated into. It was stupid obvious from my child's 3rd birthday that there would be a "coming out" at some point in the future (likewise from some of my SO childhood pictures, omg). We did the only thing any parents should do, gave them variety and choice when picking clothing and toys, tried to get them to bed on time, did their homework, watched terrible movies and didn't try to coerce them into fitting into preconceived ideas of who our child should be. In short, respected their choices.

I didn't have that freedom as a child, it was made clear that there were expectations and any deviation was to be punished. I learnt to hide it, bury it and bottle it up. I was suicidal for much of my teens. Which is why one of my proudest moments was finding the courage to disappoint my parents in my mid 20s, and it's taking the rest of my life to deal with the mental health fallout from those early years.

 

[cunomar]

9 hours ago, Arielle Popstar said:

label.

My mind shuts down when presented such conversation because I know from experience it will never be amicably accepted as explanation that i don't care , good luck to you , whats it got to do with me or anybody else . 

My stepdaughter came to me for advice when she was terribly worried because an old friend came back into her life who had in the intervening years reinvented herself as a banner toting same sex relationship warrior . 

She was worried because she was attracted to her . I laughed and told her to try it and see . But before she does she needs to understand that it means nothing more than she has a very healthy open mind and sex drive , and the excitement the girl promotes in her is coupled with fear of breaking a formally unrecognized (because the opportunity wasn't there) personal taboo .

Its not love at first sight or an awakening it won't change who or what you are at all . Its simply a thrilling opportunity blown out of all proportion by your own thought processes . Might be a happy experience that evolves into something more or a fumbling mess you would rather forget but either way you gained something and lost nothing .  

[Love Zhaoying]

9 hours ago, Arielle Popstar said:

It is interesting that the only ones who make such a fuss are those thinking they are supporting them.

It's great to know you're a supporter, since you're making such a great fuss and all!

[Arielle Popstar]

3 hours ago, Love Zhaoying said:

It's great to know you're a supporter, since you're making such a great fuss and all!

/me glances up at the Top Posters sidebar and notes self is not listed there but that the top poster who has not contributed anything in the thread other than to remark:

On 4/10/2022 at 7:21 AM, Love Zhaoying said:

I've chatted with Trans people who didn't believe in the existence of non-binary people. So..ignorance is pandemic. Be part of the solution!

and yet in spite of calling for others to be a part of the solution, has done little to enlighten those who may have some ignorance of what non-binary is except for some edgy and snarky remarks that had little to do with the topic.

Early on in the thread there was an accusation from poster(s) that some were not being emphatic enough or at all but to be so according to the definition of that word, one has to be able to at the very least understand what the word means and some of the feeling behind it as Coffee Pancake finally did. To really feel it though one should have had similar experience that evoked similar emotional reactions or otherwise the best one could do is to feel sympathy and compassion for another going through a difficult time. As an example, I know it is impossible for me to really convey what it is like for the alcoholic or drug addict at the end of their rope to someone who has not had that problem. The best I could hope for is to invoke some sense of commiseration and affinity but true empathy will be from others who have experienced that themselves.

In any case, after Coffee's post I now understand and can actually have some degree of real empathy being I have to a lesser degree experienced some of what she relates. It is unfortunate that you feel my pushing for a greater understanding of the issue was trolling but that is how I learn. 

[Silent Mistwalker]

10 minutes ago, Arielle Popstar said:

my pushing for a greater understanding of the issue was trolling but that is how I learn. 

Might have something to do with your own attitude when asking questions. 

[Rowan Amore]

8 minutes ago, Silent Mistwalker said:

Might have something to do with your own attitude when asking questions. 

I was waiting for the list of questionable websites on the subject.

[Love Zhaoying]

1 minute ago, Rowan Amore said:

I was waiting for the list of questionable websites on the subject.

With intentionally offensive definitions!

[Luna Bliss]

12 hours ago, Coffee Pancake said:

I didn't have that freedom as a child, it was made clear that there were expectations and any deviation was to be punished. I learnt to hide it, bury it and bottle it up. I was suicidal for much of my teens. Which is why one of my proudest moments was finding the courage to disappoint my parents in my mid 20s, and it's taking the rest of my life to deal with the mental health fallout from those early years.

Thanks for sharing your story, and I'm sorry you had to endure such pain, and that it is ongoing.

[Silent Mistwalker]

13 hours ago, Coffee Pancake said:

I didn't have that freedom as a child, it was made clear that there were expectations and any deviation was to be punished. I learnt to hide it, bury it and bottle it up. I was suicidal for much of my teens. Which is why one of my proudest moments was finding the courage to disappoint my parents in my mid 20s, and it's taking the rest of my life to deal with the mental health fallout from those early years.

Our situations were a little different but the end results are the same.