Forum becoming more negative?

[Phil Deakins]

10 hours ago, Love Zhaoying said:

How long ago did we last see them? I’ve only been on for a few years.

Before your time then.

[Clover Jinx]

Everyone is comparing "now" to "way back when". What if the OP meant just this most recent version of the forums?

 

[Love Zhaoying]

11 minutes ago, Clover Jinx said:

Everyone is comparing "now" to "way back when". What if the OP meant just this most recent version of the forums?

 

Good point. Those of us who’ve been in SL for many years, but the forum for only a few years, need more detail to understand and to share in your stories. “Before your time, then” isn’t an answer to “how long ago?”. *pout*

[Phil Deakins]

Interesting thought, Clover. I can't say that I've noticed a negativity downswing in this version, but I can't say that it hasn't happened. If it has, then it could be because the moderators - SuperTom & Co. - are a little more relaxed about things than they may have been at the beginning. That's just an imagined possibility though.

[Phil Deakins]

2 minutes ago, Love Zhaoying said:

Good point. Those of us who’ve been in SL for many years, but the forum for only a few years, need more detail to understand and to share in your stories. “Before your time, then” isn’t an answer to “how long ago?”. *pout*

Sorry. It's the best I have though, because I don't remember when he last posted, except that it was some years ago. On the plus side, I think I was the only who made any attempt at an answer to your question.

Edited September 14, 2018 by Phil Deakins

[LittleMe Jewell]

1 hour ago, Clover Jinx said:

Everyone is comparing "now" to "way back when". What if the OP meant just this most recent version of the forums?

 

Even this incarnation of the forums has not gotten more negative lately, IMO. There are days when things are more negative, but overall, I still don't think so.

However, IMO, I do believe that people are more sensitive these days and get offended much easier.  Too many take general comments as being personal attacks or think that anyone not agreeing with them is attacking them.  

 

[Cindy Evanier]

10 minutes ago, LittleMe Jewell said:

However, IMO, I do believe that people are more sensitive these days and get offended much easier.  Too many take general comments as being personal attacks or think that anyone not agreeing with them is attacking them.

My opinion too

[Madelaine McMasters]

21 hours ago, Love Zhaoying said:

But as most people age, the shift to the right! Perhaps education helps.

The demographics say education is part of it, but I think there's more.

Curiosity?

[Love Zhaoying]

4 minutes ago, Madelaine McMasters said:

The demographics say education is part of it, but I think there's more.

Curiosity?

And compassion..

Edited September 14, 2018 by Love Zhaoying

[Madelaine McMasters]

45 minutes ago, Love Zhaoying said:

And compassion..

There's a nature vs. nurture component to this, i think.

I'm capable of autonomic compassion. I'll go running towards a cry for help without thinking much about it, but I think a lot of people will do that. But, some portion of my compassion seems to grow from curiosity. The more I learn about the world and the people who fill it, the more I understand how ignorance of the complexities makes it easy for the incurious to lay blame elsewhere and the more difficult it becomes for me to do the same. And if the choice is between blaming someone and helping them, reducing blame starts to look a lot like compassion.

[Love Zhaoying]

Restated: older folk sometimes slide to the “right” because they are worried about their personal stake (fixed income, social security, Medicare, etc.) and vote “conservatively” to protect their stake - losing out on the consideration (compassion) for others that a more left-leaning vote is usually for.  

[Madelaine McMasters]

33 minutes ago, Love Zhaoying said:

Restated: older folk sometimes slide to the “right” because they are worried about their personal stake (fixed income, social security, Medicare, etc.) and vote “conservatively” to protect their stake - losing out on the consideration (compassion) for others that a more left-leaning vote is usually for.  

I've seen this in the elders around me. Mom has a few friends who are more concerned about increases in co-pays for their supplemental Medicare insurance than by the inability of their children to get health care coverage without working two jobs. I think this is going to get worse before it gets better.

Looking at this another way, the desire to conserve your stake is so powerful that I don't understand why the well-to-do don't see the benefit in making sure that everybody has a stake. Do you really want to live your life surrounded by people who have nothing to lose?

Of course, this is all easy for me to say. I've benefitted from an extraordinary amount of luck.

Edited September 14, 2018 by Madelaine McMasters

[Love Zhaoying]

3 minutes ago, Madelaine McMasters said:

that I don't understand why the well-to-do don't see the benefit in making sure that everybody has a stake. Do you really want live your life surrounded by people who have nothing to lose

The rebellion / backlash to current policies may help.

[Dillon Levenque]

15 hours ago, Madelaine McMasters said:

...loves doing it for the wrong nefarious reason(s)

It says so right on the group!

On a much less trivial note, I agree with the comment you made on this page concerning older people vs. their offspring as regards medical care (I guess this is only US relevant; other countries have other systems). That trend bugs me too, always has. It's why I've never supported AARP and still don't, even though I'm now of an age to benefit from their tireless lobbying for more, more, more. What about our kids? And their kids?

Wow that was off-topic. On topic: I do not see the forum as more negative (not sure whether I've already posted that or not).  Quite the opposite. I came to the forum not long after the original RA had been replaced. I know virtually nothing of RA days, but I've been an inhabitant ever since. This iteration is by leaps and bounds more relaxed, more civilized, and more FUN than any I've experienced before. I hope it stays that way.

Edited September 14, 2018 by Dillon Levenque

[MoiraKathleen]

3 hours ago, Love Zhaoying said:

“Before your time, then” isn’t an answer to “how long ago?”. *pout*

When I first started reading the forums in mid-2014, there was someone posting here who met the descriptions given.  It was one of the reasons that I didn't post in the forums at that time.  Could be a different person being referred to (someone from even an earlier time) but the person I remembered was very much what was described about the "One Troll to Rule Them All".

[Madelaine McMasters]

33 minutes ago, moirakathleen said:

When I first started reading the forums in mid-2014, there was someone posting here who met the descriptions given.  It was one of the reasons that I didn't post in the forums at that time.  Could be a different person being referred to (someone from even an earlier time) but the person I remembered was very much what was described about the "One Troll to Rule Them All".

I'd say the last traces evaporated sometime in 2015. That hasn't come without a cost, though. Soon I'll be the only person here who's aware of the vast unseen power I hold over the forums. Being both nefarious and modest, I don't mention that... much. It was nice to have someone else waving that flag for me.

[Dillon Levenque]

23 hours ago, Madelaine McMasters said:

Soon I'll be the only person here who's aware of the vast unseen power I hold over the forums.

Not to worry. I'm on the second draft of my "Lest We Forget" treatise, in which all that crud is reprised ad nauseam ;-).

Edited September 15, 2018 by Dillon Levenque
A second look made me realize 'nauseam' was more appropriate.

[Pamela Galli]

I came to the merchant forum when they killed the XStreet forum. As bad as that forum could get, it was moderated and never reached the depths the old SL forum could get.

[Rya Nitely]

On 9/13/2018 at 5:01 PM, Cindy Evanier said:

On 9/13/2018 at 4:03 PM, Orwar said:

sometimes, some people just need to be addressed as an adult, by an adult. If anyone chose to take something as offense rather than constructive criticism or even humour, well, that's too bad.

This!... if a post is going to go downhill it's usually because the OP didn't get the hand holding, there there poor thing, let us walk you though it. Oh really we didn't bother to all support your drama/come to your house and fix it for you/bring cookies and a soft blanket

Sometimes we need to consider whether this approach might indeed be more appropriate. Another kindness is just don't respond if you feel that your response might be a bit sharp.

Oh I know what you're thinking, if people need a soft blanket then don't post here. Perhaps it should be the ones who are unable to say things softly and kindly who shouldn't post.

I am a strong advocate for mental health awareness. There are many people in SL who suffer from depression and anxiety. I'm sure everyone knows someone. There are also many people who are unaware that they suffer from it. I'm not ashamed to admit I do. I suffer from social anxiety, and am often emotionally sensitive. I'm taking tablets. Nothing to be ashamed of.

I don't know if people in other countries have Mental Health Awareness days and months, but September is RUOK month in Australia, and we just had RUOK day on Thursday.

Since we are adults, then as adults we should respect the feelings of others. More soft blankets is what the world needs, and society is becoming more aware of this. Because mental health problems are on the rise, or perhaps it's always been there, unacknowledged.

[Callum Meriman]

16 minutes ago, Rya Nitely said:

Perhaps it should be the ones who are unable to say things softly and kindly who shouldn't post.

There would be a lot of unanswered questions.

 

[Solar Legion]

This forum (among others) has options to allow you to Ignore users: Use them if you find another user's responses to be a bit sharp for your liking.

"Oh but that doesn't work if they're quoted!" - So? Just move right on by the bloody post. Oh and you can collapse a quote box by simply clicking it - see that someone directly quoted a user you have on Ignore? Collapse the quote box - you won't have to read the quoted response then.

See, here's the ting: False Positivity is toxic. No one should have to choose between responding to a post and remaining silent because someone might find the response to be "sharp" - No. One.

[Rya Nitely]

2 hours ago, Solar Legion said:

So? Just move right on by the bloody post

I would ask myself why do I respond defensively to a post about showing kindness.

[Cindy Evanier]

2 hours ago, Rya Nitely said:

Perhaps it should be the ones who are unable to say things softly and kindly who shouldn't post.

Since you quoted me in your response I would like to reply.  i like to inject humour into my postings if the thread carries on after the inital post was answered.  I am not cruel and most of the time I am taking the P out of myself  (us scousers do that).  We are also pretty straight to the point when needed.  I have avoided many posts and bite my tongue and roll my eyes and move on.  I think I can also sense well which people can take my joke and where its appropriate to use it.

[Rya Nitely]

of course I'm not talking about having fun with a joke, I'm talking about nastiness and ganging up on people.

The world is changing, and people are becoming more aware of mental health issues. It doesn't work anymore to say 'be adult about it', or 'have a thick skin' or get over it', 'just ignore it'. People need to change, and change comes through awareness. Awareness of the impact that your words can have on someone.

Edited September 16, 2018 by Rya Nitely
grammar

[Phil Deakins]

I've nothing better to do right now so...

We in this forum are a mix of people - of natures. Some tend to be more kind than others, some tend to be more negative than others, some are both at different times, some tend to be argumentative, some tend to be accusatory (is that a word?), some tend to be helpful, etc. etc. In other words we are a pretty regular mix of humanity, each of us different to everyone else, and each of us displays the various aspects of our natures at different times.

Therefore, I don't think it's the best thing to think that everyone should be like <insert yourself here>, so it's a waste of time trying to correct or guide others into being more like <insert yourself here>. As a community, we are what we are. If a community of people is unappealing, then the best thing to do is opt out of it, because, whilst it may be possible to effect a change in one or two people, it's highly unlikely that a change can be effected in the whole community.

Having said that, by all means pick a person up for being unkind, or unreasonably negative. It may not have an effect on the person, but it would show the target that the whole community doesn't think the same way.

Edited September 16, 2018 by Phil Deakins