Is this normal for second life?

[EmmyDammitEverythingIsTaken]

Hi everyone,

Can anyone tell me if this kind of thing is normal for second life...

I've been on second life for 14 days now. All I've been doing for the past two weeks is reading about how second life works and trying to get my avatar as nice as I can. I was just at the Da Vinci gardens and was on the marketplace looking for rings when my avatar starts flying around the sim. This I've seen way too many times already, so I figured it was some idiot and tp'd away. Then I get an IM,

[18:08] <Removed>: NOT your first avi! exposed on the blogs! Liar!

So now I know who started throwing me around. This is seriously doing my head in. I've had to change my profile to say how to search google to find out how to do things in second life just to show dressing yourself isn't difficult. I am being attacked and attacked and attacked some more and why, because I'm not a moron?? There is so much info out there on second life it's hard not to find what you are looking for in a few minutes.

Each day I want to use second life less and less. To me it's nothing more than the sims mixed with a chatroom. I get that it's more serious to other people but seriously, what is with these lunatics? They are everywhere!

Normally if I got harassed this much on something else, I'd just quit and move onto the next thing but I've already put a good bit of money into this thing. I've bought myself nice avatar parts, all mesh with the moving face and hands. I don't think it looks fantastic, I've mostly copied what I've seen in the stores advertising pictures.

This is really becoming a really horrible experience for me and I've barely started exploring. I have about 3 sims I go to (no adult sims), other than going to those places I sit on the market place and throw money away. 

Does this happen to other people or is it just me? Should I just just cut my losses and abandon sl? Or maybe wait a year and come so my nice shiny new bits are nice and out of date? I mean what do people normally do?

I admit I don't have a thick skin and sl might not be the place for me, I can't take what feels like a constant stream of abuse. I just asked the friend who introduced me sl what I should do or if there is anything I can do and she doesn't know, so I'm asking you.

Can anyone give me advice?

Edited March 15, 2017 by Kristin Linden
Disclosing chatlogs/Avatar names

[Nalates Urriah]

As to whether it is normal for SL... Yes, and no. The treatment you are receiving is common in some regions, generally the landing hubs where new users can be taken advantage. Once you move away from them it is uncommon.

It is not just you that gets griefed. There is a whole brigade of drama queens in SL. They have their counterpart of vigilantes. It can get quite complex if you try to figure out who has a white or black hat.

Those people that own private regions have loads of griefer stories. Also, there is an ever-evolving escalation of attack and mitigate that consumes significant amounts of the Lab's programming time. That is not unique to SL. But, SL users are more likely to be aware of the problems.

Those that react to the griefing seem to encourage griefers to focus on them. So, make your abuse reports as quietly as you can and move on. While not emotionally satisfying it avoids painting a bulls-eye on your head.

I suggest you open the Destination Guide, in-viewer or Web Site, and start exploring. If you use the web site guide, you can login directly to one of the destinations. That should allow you to avoid the griefers.

I also suggest you open search and search for groups that match your interests. Fill out your in-viewer Profile. You'll have like minded people contact you from time to time. It also helps one to not look so new.

It is my experience that people that draw a constant stream of abuse have done or are doing something that makes them a target. Break that flow by doing something different. You most certainly need to develop the skill of recognizing an idiot when you meet one. Use the MUTE/BLOCK in the avatar's right-click menu to avoid them. This is the most effective means of shedding griefers. No response from you makes it boring to grief you.

Good luck.

 

[Pamela Galli]

I would just suggest not going to the same three sims where people are doing whatever it is you don't like. I have been here since 2007 and never been griefed, so don't have any advice other than change location.

(And I notice the mods are appending notes giving reasons for mods)

 

ETA Nalates beat me to the punch. What she said.

Edited March 15, 2017 by Pamela Galli

[Kristin Linden]

Hello there!

To respect the privacy of all Residents, and to avoid any naming and shaming, I have edited your post to remove the name of the user.

You may review our Community Posting Guidelines here:
(http://wiki.secondlife.com/wiki/Linden_Lab_Official:Community_Participation_Guidelines)  Additional violations could result in further action taken on your account.

I'm sorry to hear that you have had a negative experience in Second Life. We understand that continuous harassment can be upsetting and we would like to provide you with some tips to help deal with the situation moving forward. 

• Consider using the Block/Mute feature. The Second Life viewer, as well as all Third Party Viewers, has the ability to block/mute other residents. This will not only prevent you from seeing what they are saying, both in public and private chat, but will also completely block their avatar so you will not see them at all. 
• If you are a land owner, adding their account to the ban list of your land will also prevent them from accessing your personal space. 
• If you feel that the person is following you from place-to-place, it may be that you are visiting your regular locations and the person knows this. 
• If you are using a Third Party Viewer, you may wish to make sure that RLV is not enabled, as this can allow a person to track your location as well (the location for turning that off is different depending upon the viewer, and you will need to access that specific viewer's documentation for further assistance in this regard). 
• If, after the above methods, the resident continues to harass you, please file an abuse report under Harassment - Verbal Abuse and provide us with as much detail as possible—including as complete a list as possible of accounts used in the situation—so that we can better review the report. Including this support case number will help us to investigate. 

For more tips on how to deal with harassment, please visit this page: http://community.secondlife.com/t5/English-Knowledge-Base/How-to-deal-with-abuse-and-harassment/ta-p/1339983 

If you are being griefed (targetted/attacked with objects) we also encourage you to file an Abuse Report so that our Governance team may investigate further.

I hope your stay here at Second Life improves!

[Rhonda Huntress]

You cannot be pushed, tossed, orbited or whatnot if you are sitting on something.

[EmmyDammitEverythingIsTaken]

Thanks for your reply Nalates Urriah.  The only way I seem to be drawing attention to myself is by working on my avatar and that's really all I want to do. I don't IM people or start conversations, I say hello if someone stops near me, that's all. I thought I was doing something different by putting some effort into my avatar. Every time I get a nasty message it's about them not believing I managed to find the add and detach items menu. Half of the time I couldn't report them even if I wanted to, I'll see a quick message pop up the local chat, then I'll get thrown around, then there is load of junk that fires through the chat and I'll either crash or have to tp away to another place. I thought the sim I was at was a safe one, I hadn't seen any trouble there at all. Of the others, one is a place where lots of new people go through, its in the destination guide and chaos does break out every now and then, I have found a corner I stay in to try to keep away from it. It must be the places I'm going to. I'll try to find somewhere that's empty I can go to.  I've found the option to switch off IM's and I'll change my profile to let people know I won't be chatting. if I can stop being thrown around that should keep me okay.

Thanks for keeping my post right Kristen and for the advice.

[EmmyDammitEverythingIsTaken]

Thank Rhonda, I'll find a chair too  

[GongYoo]

Honestly I've been in an out of Second life for close to 6-7 years and I've only ever been griefed at at sandbox. I don't really make a habit of editing my appearance in public areas where there's a store unless I know the store is safe. If I'm griefed I report it to the sandbox owner or the owner of the sim and block whoever messaged me with a ridiculous message. Those keyboard warriors have too much time on their hands. I hope it gets better for you and I hope you meet some nice people soon.

[lucagrabacr]

3 hours ago, EmmyDammitEverythingIsTaken said:

Thank Rhonda, I'll find a chair too  

You can also sit on the ground by right clicking on the ground or your avatar then clicking on "Sit here"

[CheriColette]

 

Some sandboxes provide private dressing rooms, this one does and its free.... Little Blue Sandbox

Or if you can afford it, rent a place or sign up for SL membership and a small place is given to you as part of the package. 

Im sorry your experience hasnt been that good so far, it can only get better, right

Edited March 15, 2017 by CheriColette

[Love Zhaoying]

When I was new, I "landed" along with many long time friends in a set of regions named "Luna".  Luna had many private (meaning far away, off-camera) places where people would go to work on their avatar. Just an idea!  Maybe you can find a little-used region that has corners to do your private avatar editing.

[EmmyDammitEverythingIsTaken]

Thanks for the input everyone. I did a bit of reading last night about how to protect yourself, from what I can see, sitting on something seems to be the way to go. I did find that you can lock yourself in place with the firestorm viewer and that's the one I use so I'll lock myself when I don't have to move around.

I'll have a look at the Little Blue Sandbox, dressing rooms would be handy. I think I've been lucky with the one I found, I've not had any trouble there but they do have a big sign up saying anyone caught giving others trouble will be banned. I've not had to use it that much though, really only to add an animation to my ao, almost all of the clothes and parts I've bought have come packed so you can wear them and they unpack automatically or by clicking them.  I've become quite good at changing without needing a dressing room, by adding clothes, giving a bit of time so anyone in sight of me can see the new item, then removing the old one. I did have a bit of a disaster in a store one day when I managed to end up wearing nothing but about 35 cardigans in a store, everyone there took it fine and had a bit of a laugh at me. 

The problems didn't start until a few days in. I was using the avatar I chose to start, got a shape, skin and new clothes and it was all going good. After chatting to a few people I started reading reviews of mesh body parts, I found a good site that has a listing of what's available and tells you where to find them. That's when the trouble kicked in, people started acting like I was tampering with black magic. I didn't see the big deal, it wasn't any different from clothes, hide the original body part, add the new one, done. If anything, I've found the new parts much easier to deal with, as long as you choose the the size for the part you have, everything just fits with no messing around. At least when I was in the starting sim, when attacks happened it was usually someone that found a new toy and wanted to test it on anything that moved, it was annoying but it was nothing personal. When I was out wandering and someone attacked and sent messages, it felt personal. I've been using the block/mute button but by the that point I've already read their message and when it's the same thing each time I've started to think that putting a bit of effort into my avatar was a bad idea. You get the feeling you have to stay with the new starts, like you aren't welcome outside there or if you do leave, you have to have your skin bleeding through your outfit and feet sticking out from your shins to be accepted. Even when Nalates said 'I suggest you open the Destination Guide, in-viewer or Web Site, and start exploring' I got a bad feeling in my stomach. The thought of exploring now isn't a good one. I did consider getting renting a place but it was like 'Here is a place where people seem to enjoy giving me a hard time.... let's buy a house there!'. I know it's stupid because people can't really do anything to you, in that they can't harm you but it's become really frustrating and quite upsetting, especially when I've been trying to stay out of peoples way. 

You are right Cheri, it can only get better. It surely has to stop at some point. I think I just needed to hear from some others. I appreciate you all taking the time to respond and I'll take on board everything you've said. I am feeling a bit better about it, I'll grit my teeth and go wandering, see what I can find. 

[Annika Velde]

x

Edited March 15, 2017 by Annika Velde
Double Post

[Annika Velde]

Emmy there are plenty of people who are interested in just changing their avatar and not chatting too too much. I know several people that are perfectly fine having a small circle of friends and just going shopping or standing around with said friends. If you ever need anything, please feel free to message me in world :3

[Aislin Ceawlin]

Emmy, I sent you a private message!

[Nalates Urriah]

14 hours ago, EmmyDammitEverythingIsTaken said:

Thanks for your reply Nalates Urriah.  The only way I seem to be drawing attention to myself is by working on my avatar ...

If that is accurate, then it is the region/simulator you are on, the place. It is a matter of who is there. Unfortunately we cannot restrict the crazy people to an institution as we can in RL.

If you look in the top menu HELP you'll find an item Bumps, Pushes, & Hits. This may help you get the names you need for Abuse Reports.

Renting a place or buying land has advantages and disadvantages. Ask the landlord if you will be able to EJECT unwanted visitors (Eject is way fun.). Landowners get that ability. Some rental locations allow their clients the ability. You can make land private and in several ways restrict who can enter. You can set the land so only those people within it can see or hear you. All good things.

However, having land means you have a location that can be griefed. You can lean about a whole new type of griefing. I have not been 'griefed' in my home and I've been there are least a couple of years. I'm adjacent to a landing HUB region. I'm not sure anyone can say how prevalent griefing is for home owners. It hasn't been a problem for me.

Definitely rent before you decide to buy. Avoid thinking there is any need even to rent. There are places where you can discretely change clothes. Some stores provide changing rooms. Plus there are Linden owned regions that are essentially deserted and empty. They provide air and sea connections for fliers and boating enthusiasts across large areas. Most of the time they are not in use. Try Pooley and Furball. Look at the World Map when there and collect more region names. It is good to have some names for Tuesday and Wednesday early morning login as servers are being restarted and your planned login location may be in restart mode thus preventing your login.

If you are a bit of an exhibitionist, there are even more places that will allow changing clothes...

I wouldn't worry too much about appearing nude. The new mesh bodies and clothes can take 5 minutes or so to get loaded and render completely. So, teleporting to a new region often leaves people in various stages of undress. Applier underwear helps but, is not fool proof. So, everyone will flash other from time to time.

[EmmyDammitEverythingIsTaken]

Thanks Annika, Aislin 

That's great info Nalates! I see the Bumps, Pushes, & Hits menu, that's handy. 

I had a look at the world map, I didn't realise how big it was!  That's one thing I'm not too sure about, how to navigate the world? Do you just click a place on the map and choose 'Visit this location', I mean, are you allowed to do that, drop into an unknown place? I hear people talking about places and often wonder how they know about these places, how did they find out about it, how does news travel here. I've found Luna, Furball and Pooley in the websearch inside the viewer, I'll take a look at them. I'll do some reading up on how renting/buying works. 

With region names, is that name that appears in the corner of the bubble when you click the map, like....

https://gyazo.com/4c723f1a053144608057a551e40b58d2

I just clicked a place at random, would the region name for there be 'Nimue'?

I have noticed that mesh bodies can take a while to load. I've jumped into some busy places and seen legs fly around the room for a while.  I leave applier underwear on my avatar all the time. 

[Bobbie Faulds]

The Free Dove also has dressing rooms you can use. 

[MoondustMaia]

Emmy, 'Nimue' is the region name in that example.  

You can do the equivalent of 'sticking a pin in the map' and TP'ing there.  Though, you may get mixed results - some people have ban lines up or have security orbs which keep others from landing on their property.  Many of the mainland (the big blocks of connected sims) have roads on them which are public so you don't have to worry about ban lines, orbs, etc.  Often when I want to explore on a mainland continent, I'll look for a road on the map and land on it, then I'll head out from there where I can see what I'm getting into.  

When I first started, I used the destination guide from the dashboard frequently to find places to go to.  When you find a place you like, landmark it, and over time you'll have a nice collection of landmarks for places 

[EmmyDammitEverythingIsTaken]

The Free Dove has been mentioned to me a few times, Bobbie. I haven't been yet, I'll take a look

That's great, Moondust, I'll look for roads as a starting point  I didn't want to drop into a place I wasn't supposed to be. I've been using the destination guide, that's how I got to the sims I've been around. I was finding I was running in circles ending up at the same places. The map opens up so much more! A few people have sent me lanmarks and there have been quite a lot of suggestions, that should keep me busy for a while 

Edited March 16, 2017 by EmmyDammitEverythingIsTaken
typos

[Buttacwup Float]

A little late to the conversation but wanted to add....it is unfortunate that people feel the need to behave this way. It seems you have taken a bit of a shine to SL with the shopping and learning about how it works as that is fantastic. Don't let others keep you from it. There is so much to see and do I suggest finding some like minded friends explore and hang out with. Lots of good info here already. I really just wanted to be another voice to encourage you to stay. ?

Edited March 16, 2017 by seanabrady
Correct typo

[Amethyst Jetaime]

Many new people that come to SL stumble around without a clue for a while before they find their 'feet'.  You on the other hand are in the minority and appear to be doing it the right way by taking the time to learn about things by reading, and asking about things in world as well as posting here on the forum.  I commend you for it.  You'll soon be enjoying SL so I encourage you to stay.

A lot of time quick learners are 'accused' of not being new people because the person accusing them wasn't a quick learner themselves and can't grasp that some people are.  Their problem not yours.  As other's have told you how to deal with them, I won't repeat it.

As far as exploring, you can go to any place that is owned by Linden Lab (Governor Linden), or private(owned by someone else) land that is a public venue.  Places in search are public venues.   Private land and sims, such as those used as a residence, may or may not welcome you.  The best way to tell other than going into the property only to be ejected by a security orb or mad landowner, is click on the land and look at it's description to see what it says.  If it doesn't say something to show you are welcome, assume that it's not ok to go on that land.  Of course you can just use the map to and tp to sims that look interesting to you.  However as pointed out some are private and you may be asked to leave or ejected from them.

[CheriColette]

Amethyst is right (everything she said). One thing more I will add is, treat peoples houses and property with respect. You may wander around (if you not booted) but  generally its not a good idea to go inside with out invitation. 

 

[EmmyDammitEverythingIsTaken]

Thanks Seana, Amethyst, I'm going to stay for a while and see how it goes  I've always liked learning new things and I'm a bit of a perfectionist, or as my mother would say 'a pain in the butt' lol so I like to get it right. . It's not too bad with SL, you can keep a web browser open at the same time for looking things up. When I started I chose an avatar called Carla, I did try changing clothes and it seemed quite random what was happening. I went to a sim called Firestorm Gateway, it's in the destinations. There are people there that help out new starts. Someone gave me a run down of the avatar parts, like when you strip everything away, these are the essential bits that make an avatar. They showed me what alpha's do and the difference between mesh clothing and the normal ones. That made a huge difference, the randomness was gone. I think that was the starting point I needed. They've been really nice there, I went back again when someone gave me hair I really liked but a tiny bit of my scalp was bleeding through and it was driving me insane lol. They took me to a hair store that they used and showed me hair bases, a base that matched the hair colour was what I needed. I also found out about when something is 'rigged', they tried to get me to move the hair to get rid of patch of scalp showing through but it was stuck in place. After that I was quite happy to add and remove anything and I didn't feel like I was guessing. 

I had a bit of an 'ah ha' moment yesterday. I bought a new animation and went to the sandbox to add it into my ao. The ao came with instructions on how to add animations so I've done that a few times now. It got me thinking though, so I dropped a few more more items to have a look at what was inside them, the same way you add an animation to the ao. I was finding loads of things, especially animations in the empty bags that clothes came in, so I'm gathering a bit of a collection of animations. I don't know if they'll be useful, but hey, I have them. My ah ha moment happened when I put a jacket on the ground, it had a file in it called maitreya autohide, it wouldn't let me open it but I could see the name. Maitreya is the name of the body I have. I had noticed when I wore clothes, the alphas would apply automatically. After a bit of googling it turned out that the autohide is how they do the alphas on the body. So I went back to the store, got their 'autohide kit', back to the sandbox, followed the instructions and made an autohide woo! It was almost exactly the same as adding an animation to the ao. I'm starting to see the similarities between a lot things in sl. The whole place is becoming less 'fuzzy'. 

I did do a bit of wandering. I found a road as Maia suggested and started there. I was checking the owner name and descriptions. I didn't go into any houses, I did think they would would be owned by someone or would have a purpose. Unless there is a giant sign saying, come in!  I think I wandered into somewhere I wasn't supposed to be. I got teleported back to my starting sim.  When wandering around like that, is there a way to know that I'm about to go on to private property? There was no warning and where I was, there was nothing obvious to show any borders.

[Dante Tucker]

26 minutes ago, EmmyDammitEverythingIsTaken said:

...

Curiosity is key and you seem to have it. Taking apart things and figuring out how they work sounds like a natural step but in reality most people don't even know how they would go about "Taking things apart" in the first place.

The viewer does have the capability to show property lines, appearing as colored lines drawn on the ground. Obviously only useful if the sim ground is not blocked by objects. You can turn that on in your menu at World > Show > Property lines