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Madelaine McMasters

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Everything posted by Madelaine McMasters

  1. What we are doing at any point is time is defined by what we know at the time we're doing it. Revelations afterwards don't change that. I can't imagine a scenario in which knowledge after the fact changes what someone was thinking before the fact. Can you? As far as my ex-husband is concerned, he married a heterosexual woman. His marriage to me eventually failed over an amicable disagreement on the importance of growing the family. He may never know there was more to the story. I won't beat myself up over not knowing there was more to the story myself. I'm thankful I figured it out before it was too late for him. Anyone who meets me in RL does not see all there is of me. As with SL, I choose what to reveal, and may reveal things I'm not aware of. Taken to the finest point, people will get to know me to varying degrees, but nobody has, or ever will, get all the way there. That includes me. As a result of this understanding about myself and others, I personally do not see two sides to the discussion we're having here. It's all of a piece. I hope to be perceptive enough to understand the context and expectations of any relationships I have with other people (SL or RL) and endeavor to treat everyone with care and kindness. Despite my best intentions, things may go wrong. Despite other people's best intentions, things may go wrong. SL may allow more room for things to go wrong, but that's just more space on the very same playing field I occupy in RL.
  2. There should be examples of it. On the spectrum from heterosexual to homosexual is ambisexual. Should the owner of such ambisexuality be highly impressionable, peer pressure (from as little as one peer) might do the trick. Holy Hill Basilica in Hubertus, WI, has a display of crutches left behind by those who's infirmities were prayed away. Surely there's someone who's homosexuality vanished as miraculously? Dawkins argues that religion itself (and the prayer that comes with it) is communicable, like a virus. Even those who don't buy the degenerate connotation of "virus" (like me) still allow that religion is nevertheless, communicable. We're people dammit, anything's possible.
  3. Take two "ditz" and call me in the morning.
  4. Of course, but I'll stand by my assertion that, based on the evidence you had at the time, your relationship was heterosexual, period. After the fact, evidence introduced, recanted, reintroduced... doesn't change that one li'l bit. There might be people who disagree, but you'll probably find their argument unconvincing. ETA: If you're at all like me, you not only understand how really complicated this all is, but you derive some pleasure from that. Thinking can be fun!
  5. My answer was, of course, simpler than your question. You had no reason to believe you were canoodling with a female, so your relationship was heterosexual, period. That's not sufficient though. After the fact, it would be quite understandable to wonder about yourself. Furthermore, it would be quite understandable to think that other people, upon hearing your story, would say "lesbian". This is why you can't say what you "feel" it was. You can't un-know the truth. Fortunately, I have every confidence that your reasoning self understands your emotional self and helps it heal.
  6. That’s your call and I wholeheartedly agree with you.
  7. Okay, here's how I did it, nearly 10 years ago, I call my method... HOW TO LEAVE SL FOR FUN AND PROFIT Tell someone you are leaving for good (In my case it was Brenda Connolly). Listen to them scoff. Tell them you are serious. Hear them say you'll be back in three weeks. Bet them L$20 they're wrong. Buy a raft and a bonfire. Put the bonfire on the raft. Set the sun position to "Sunset". Put yourself on the raft, in the middle of the bonfire. Set the raft adrift on the ocean. Move your camera so the setting sun is in the background. Cam back to make it seem like the raft is drifting off into the sunset. Log out of the viewer for "the very last time", trying to work up a tear in the process. On the web, change your account e-mail address to a throw away account and confirm the change. Close the throw away e-mail account. Go to "Change Password" for your SL account. Type a random string of characters into a text document on your PC. Do NOT read the string. Copy the string and paste it into the "Password" and "Confirm Password" boxes and log out of your web account. Delete the text file containing the random password. Find other things to do with your life. After five weeks (certainly no less than three), decide you've proved you can survive without SL. Create a new SL account. Decide you don't like the name you just picked. Make more accounts until you finally create a name you like. Find the friend who bet you couldn't stay away for more than three weeks and collect your L$20.
  8. You and my ex-hubby. I leave enough room in my A cup bras to hold those chicken breast things I use to pad myself up to... an A cup. Yet you can walk around Lake Mendota with your top off and I can't? Pfft!
  9. Would you care if the artist was animating the pin-up girl in real time, for your pleasure? Do you see the two situations as completely different, or as two different places on the same scale?
  10. Tolya's too cheap to pay out, but I might be willing to waive my usual fee...
  11. I've got better places to do that, Lindal. It's only recently that I've been taking her to McDonald's, as none of her girlfriends are able to drive anymore. You do remind me of this however, which happened while she was at McDonald's and I was at home...
  12. I don't believe I've ever had fried chicken, much less KFC. I rarely eat out, and even more rarely eat at fast food places. When I do, I look for small local eateries with character, like Wayne's Drive-In or Smith Bros Coffee House. I do take Mom to McDonald's every week, where she gets an ice-cream cone and we sometimes share french fries. Once she's gone, the only reason I'll have to eat fast food is to avoid guilt over using the restrooms while on road trips.
  13. The walls of my woodworking shop still display pin-up girl art left behind by my father. I imagine a lot of fellas got pleasure from those images over the years. Do you think they wondered whether the girls were drawn by Alberto Vargas or Joyce Ballantyne?
  14. You've hit on something I haven't seen in the little reading I've done in this thread, The Law of Unintended Consequences. While I understand both sides of this argument, I wonder if the reason there are two sides is because of that law. Absent malice, I suspect that much of the hurt resulting from mismatched relationship expectations results from things getting more serious than at least one party expected. How many people set boundaries for themselves, only to eventually discover they'd put them in the wrong place? ETA: To expand on the "cost" idea, I think it's pretty common for our assessments of the costs and values of things we have and do to change over time. This makes any kind of calculus fraught with peril.
  15. How do you feel about hiding under anvils, Beth?
  16. Since developing tinnitus after head trauma (a f'ing loud concert years ago) I've noticed that some voices can trigger a crackling sound in my left ear. This happens more when the voice is recorded. I don't understand the mechanism, but it's annoying as hell. Not only do I not use voice in SL, but I rarely turn on sound at all. It's a game for me to watch local chat at music venues and try to guess what's playing from the commentary.
  17. Nor is mine Tali, though I make the best of it. I'm 5'2" with a voice to match. It's been described as "cute", which is something I prefer to fake than to be. My brief excursion into the world of community theater (particularly watching video of myself) did help bring my vocal delivery more in line with my self image. I don't know why it didn't occur to me sooner but, by over-accentuating the cuteness, I'm able to convey menace. ...sets you on fire. (That's the best I can do). So true, Mari! The big things get everyone's attention and we get no extra-credit (from others our ourselves) for attending to them.
  18. I was recently at a crowded store when a gorgeous, tall (6ft), sharply dressed woman entered. She was one of those people who simply stands out from the crowd, by dint of natural beauty and impeccable style. A store employee immediately greeted her, and I was expecting to hear the husky voice of Kathleen Turner in return. Instead, I heard Alvin the Chipmunk on helium. I spent some time that evening wondering what life must be like for that woman. Though I'm a very fast typist, text still gives me time to raise my apparent IQ by at least 10-50 points as I compose. I wouldn't want to give that up, nor have any of you give that up. If SL is our chance to do ourselves over, why not? To extend the question a bit, would any of you consider using facial recognition software to animate the faces of your avatars? Keep in mind that this would add eye contact (and eye rolling), or lack of it, to the currently nearly empty list of cues other people could use to gauge your engagement. I don't and won't use voice.
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