Scylla Rhiadra Posted September 18, 2023 Share Posted September 18, 2023 5 minutes ago, Randall Ahren said: That's what a nice guy is. Sometimes you actually scare me, Randall. 4 3 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
UnilWay SpiritWeaver Posted September 18, 2023 Share Posted September 18, 2023 (edited) 9 minutes ago, Scylla Rhiadra said: Sometimes you actually scare me, Randall. Actually... "Nice Guy" seems to be a newer slang way to refer to an Incel. It's in reference to the fact that Incels tend to self proclaim that no nice guy can actually succeed with women, because you know women are horrible or something, only "Chads" can succeed and "nice guys" (you know... all those nice guys who hang out online blaming women's expectations and talking about the ways they will get even...) are left out. So now I've been seeing a lot of the "young folks with their funny words" use the term "Nice Guy" as a side-eyed reference to an Incel. Edited September 18, 2023 by UnilWay SpiritWeaver 4 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Randall Ahren Posted September 18, 2023 Share Posted September 18, 2023 1 minute ago, UnilWay SpiritWeaver said: Actually... "Nice Guy" seems to be a newer slang way to refer to an Incel. It's in reference to the fact that Incels tend to self proclaim that no nice guy can actually succeed with women, because you know women are horrible or something, only "Chads" can succeed and "nice guys" are left out. So now I've been seeing a lot of the "young folks with their funny words" use the term "Nice Guy" as a side-eyed reference to an Incel. Yes, I know. Another poster also thought that this thread was about incels: 8 hours ago, CaerolleClaudel said: That whole list from the first page or two seemed pure incel to me. 2 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Istelathis Posted September 18, 2023 Share Posted September 18, 2023 (edited) "Nice guys" are typically just people who think that being nice is an exchange of currency that entitles them to the rights of others. If you hold the door open for someone, then you are entitled to some action, it is the polar opposite of just being nice for the sake of it, because you just enjoy seeing others being happy. Being nice, and being a "nice guy" are complete opposites, one is just being considerate of others because it makes you feel good, the other is being considerate of others because you feel it is some sort of currency that can be traded in and if you are not compensated for your good acts, then you have been cheated. There is nothing wrong with being nice, so long as you don't expect any other payment than feeling good that you are making other people feeling good. Nice "guys" or rather nice "people" ruin common manners for the rest of everyone else, they are just doing it because they feel it entitles them something other than just feeling good about being decent human beings. Edited September 18, 2023 by Istelathis 12 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Persephone Emerald Posted September 18, 2023 Share Posted September 18, 2023 It seems more likely to me that some guys who are either rude or socially awkward are not getting the kind of feedback they want from women. They don't want to view themselves as being rude, clueless or creepy, so they tell themselves and each other that it's because they're too "nice'. I for one refuse to label such creeps as "nice guys". 12 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Love Zhaoying Posted September 18, 2023 Share Posted September 18, 2023 (edited) 6 hours ago, Scylla Rhiadra said: Well, by default, all friends are in the "Friend Zone," right? In this instance, it doesn't make any sense, really, to even use that term because there is no one among my friends in SL who isn't in the "Friend Zone." There isn't any other zone into which my acquaintances might belong! Not being purposely "pedantic", but just in case you or someone else don't know the "normal" usage - "friend zone" is most often used when the person being "zoned" WANTED more than to be "just friends". On the other paw, I don't want to get "sensual" and/or "sexual" with someone who isn't "friend material". On the third tentacle, there are "olders" (and those who adhere to an "older belief") that believe men and women can't be "just friends". Sorry to be pedantic, it's really early and "bases covered" before 2nd nap. Edited September 18, 2023 by Love Zhaoying Missing word 3 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Akane Nacht Posted September 18, 2023 Share Posted September 18, 2023 1 hour ago, Randall Ahren said: Depends. Do you dance during zoom meetings and wear a cocktail dress? best way to get a raise! 😏 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Akane Nacht Posted September 18, 2023 Share Posted September 18, 2023 38 minutes ago, UnilWay SpiritWeaver said: Actually... "Nice Guy" seems to be a newer slang way to refer to an Incel. oh dear. well I wasn't using it that way. I meant the actual definition of nice guy, meaning affable, charming, polite. darn young people messing with words. This is literally why we can't have nice things 😝 4 3 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Phil Deakins Posted September 18, 2023 Share Posted September 18, 2023 (edited) 14 hours ago, Akane Nacht said: hmm, I might think you a pervert, but you can still IM me. Just take note of my hat The last thing I am is a pervert lol. In my first 2 or maybe 3 years, I was into a bit of the other in SL, but not for the last 14 or 15 years. I'm not saying such things never happen but it's not something that I look for or try for. I will accept your invitation and IM you, and I will take note of your hat - if I actually see it ETA: IM sent Edited September 18, 2023 by Phil Deakins 1 3 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Phil Deakins Posted September 18, 2023 Share Posted September 18, 2023 (edited) This thread is something of a puzzle to me. The way I see it is that meeting people of the wanted gender is very easy in SL, simply by going to places where people are socialising, such as clubs. Even if a person finds it difficult to initiate communications, just being in such places regularly will almost certainly attract some occasionally, especially in clubs. Different people have different ideas as to the type of person they prefer to be 'romantic' with, which is what this thread is about, and nobody can appeal to everyone. There are two aspects of an SL person:- visual and nature; i.e. what a person looks like (face, shape, clothing, and such) and nature (quiet, boisterous, humorous, etc.). If a person is what they want to be in terms of looks and nature, then I am sure that people of a similar mind will make contact - if they regularly go to where people are. And it isn't at all difficult to initiate contact with others by saying something that is actually relevant to the person. Reading their profiles is a good way to come up with something relevant if nothing else comes to mind. Some profiles actually invite contact, not necessarily for pixel bumping, but contact just the same. In short, I don't see a problem if a person tailors their avatar and actions to the person they want to be seen as in SL. Edited September 18, 2023 by Phil Deakins Typo correction 4 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Love Zhaoying Posted September 18, 2023 Share Posted September 18, 2023 This seems to sum up the discussion from earlier. (I was looking for the "sexy version" of "nice guys finish last"..) 1 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Love Zhaoying Posted September 18, 2023 Share Posted September 18, 2023 4 hours ago, Phil Deakins said: The last thing I am is a pervert lol. That's exactly what a pervert would say! 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Phil Deakins Posted September 18, 2023 Share Posted September 18, 2023 (edited) For any male who wants an SL girl... 1 hour ago, Xiyuanbbb said: Hi everyone, I am a Ph.D. student from Victory University of Wellington😀. I am doing a study on how your virtual experience in SL affects your RL consumption practices/patterns. Could you please share your experience with me😍? If you could share some insightful ideas to me, I can be your girl in SL! Thanks heaps for your help. 🤩🤑🤗 Edited September 18, 2023 by Phil Deakins 1 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Love Zhaoying Posted September 18, 2023 Share Posted September 18, 2023 7 minutes ago, Phil Deakins said: 1 hour ago, Xiyuanbbb said: Hi everyone, I am a Ph.D. student from Victory University of Wellington😀. I am doing a study on how your virtual experience in SL affects your RL consumption practices/patterns. Could you please share your experience with me😍? If you could share some insightful ideas to me, I can be your girl in SL! Thanks heaps for your help. 🤩🤑🤗 Wow! That's a first! 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Paul Hexem Posted September 18, 2023 Author Share Posted September 18, 2023 7 hours ago, Persephone Emerald said: serious incel territory. 15 hours ago, CaerolleClaudel said: pure incel to me. On 9/15/2023 at 11:08 PM, Scylla Rhiadra said: Incel-type You know, I've never been particularly empathetic, but it's always struck me as odd how this word always seems to come up whenever anyone says anything even remotely on the topic of "men's issues with women". Particularly that it's used insultingly rather than sympathetically; We're insulting men for their lack of sexual partners because they're behaving desperate for sexual partners... I wonder if insulting them for failing contributes to their desperation? 1 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Love Zhaoying Posted September 18, 2023 Share Posted September 18, 2023 Are we conflating meanings of "incel"? Meaning 1) "a guy who can't get laid". Meaning 2) "someone who is angry and blames certain segments of society because they can't get laid, often considered part of a potentially dangerous group easily swayed by conspiracy theories", etc. 3 3 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Paul Hexem Posted September 18, 2023 Author Share Posted September 18, 2023 2 minutes ago, Love Zhaoying said: Are we conflating meanings of "incel"? Meaning 1) "a guy who can't get laid". Meaning 2) "someone who is angry and blames certain segments of society because they can't get laid, often considered part of a potentially dangerous group easily swayed by conspiracy theories", etc. 8 minutes ago, Paul Hexem said: You know, I've never been particularly empathetic, but it's always struck me as odd how this word always seems to come up whenever anyone says anything even remotely on the topic of "men's issues with women". Particularly that it's used insultingly rather than sympathetically; We're insulting men for their lack of sexual partners because they're behaving desperate for sexual partners... I wonder if insulting them for failing contributes to their desperation? Even in the case of your first example, it hasn't been used sympathetically in this thread at all. 1 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Sid Nagy Posted September 18, 2023 Share Posted September 18, 2023 (edited) Some peoples views about men turn out to be just totally devastating, offensive and even plain insulting. I leave it at that. Edited September 18, 2023 by Sid Nagy Added a few words. 1 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Rowan Amore Posted September 18, 2023 Share Posted September 18, 2023 9 hours ago, Scylla Rhiadra said: I'm not going to tell other women that they are "wrong" because their experiences have been different. And I've certainly also met my share of jerks. But I don't think that nice men are rare at all, because I run across them all the time. This^^^^. 5 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Love Zhaoying Posted September 18, 2023 Share Posted September 18, 2023 19 minutes ago, Paul Hexem said: Even in the case of your first example, it hasn't been used sympathetically in this thread at all. Maybe every man who "can't get laid" is a "potential incel" (by the "bad" definition), just like every man is a potential "r@pist"? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Love Zhaoying Posted September 18, 2023 Share Posted September 18, 2023 1 minute ago, Rowan Amore said: 9 hours ago, Scylla Rhiadra said: because I run across them all the time. This^^^^. I'm glad Scylla doesn't "run over them", as that would be..hurtful. 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Paul Hexem Posted September 18, 2023 Author Share Posted September 18, 2023 2 minutes ago, Love Zhaoying said: Maybe every man who "can't get laid" is a "potential incel" (by the "bad" definition), just like every man is a potential "r@pist"? I'm not sure what you're asking here. I'm just reacting to what people are typing into this thread, is all. 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Scylla Rhiadra Posted September 18, 2023 Share Posted September 18, 2023 31 minutes ago, Paul Hexem said: You know, I've never been particularly empathetic, but it's always struck me as odd how this word always seems to come up whenever anyone says anything even remotely on the topic of "men's issues with women". Particularly that it's used insultingly rather than sympathetically; We're insulting men for their lack of sexual partners because they're behaving desperate for sexual partners... I wonder if insulting them for failing contributes to their desperation? No one that I've seen here has conflated (as Love correctly observes) Incels with "men who have a problem finding a partner." We have responded to a particular kind of language of male entitlement that is characteristic of that culture. And no, I am not going to be "sympathetic" to a toxic culture that literally argues that men are "owed" sex by women, and that is not infrequently homicidal. Incels have literally killed people in mass shootings and the like, including in my city. Does some research, Paul. 8 5 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Scylla Rhiadra Posted September 18, 2023 Share Posted September 18, 2023 5 minutes ago, Love Zhaoying said: I'm glad Scylla doesn't "run over them", as that would be..hurtful. Where I live, there was a few years ago a mass killing by a self-identified Incel who did precisely that in a van. He killed 11 people. https://www.google.com/amp/s/amp.theguardian.com/world/2022/jun/13/toronto-van-murders-court-victim-2018-attack 1 3 3 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Robberinthemuseum Posted September 18, 2023 Share Posted September 18, 2023 (edited) Nobody is owed sex by anyone. I think the issue maybe is that most women don't have a concept of exactly how horny most guys are all the time. Just that 😄. It reminds me of this skit. Also I love you guys, carry on. @Paul Hexem I think you'll get a kick out of this. Edited September 18, 2023 by Robberinthemuseum 1 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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