Why does it matter?

[Maryanne Solo]

7 hours ago, Persephone Emerald said:

Thank your for quoting part of what JuliaFina said before they went back and changed almost all their posts.

The unholy trinity may well be upon us judging by some of the posts, authors and changes? ^^
Join me now as we exhibit some sympathy by attending another truly stupendous performance....
a one... two... three... four....
Pleased to meet you...
Hope you guessed my name, oh yeah...
But what's puzzling 👉 you... 👀
Is the... nature of my game... woah yeah, get down, baby!
U slab of meat!... Wooo wooo!

Edited April 21, 2022 by Maryanne Solo

[Love Zhaoying]

9 hours ago, JuliaFina said:

I love every avatar.

I hope you at least shower in between loving each individual!

[Velk Kerang]

16 hours ago, Madelaine McMasters said:

We do agree on one thing. Marriage is a team effort.

*There is one gender anomaly in my observations. I rarely see women riding lawnmowers in my neighborhood. They're usually digging around in the dirt, planting things. From this I could deduce that men don't like getting their hands dirty.

I think you misunderstand me or maybe I didn't articulate myself clearly enough. When I made that statement I was making from a traditional point of view. We all learned that. That's why people argue and fuss over it so much.

As for what I personally learned from my parents, I learned to be self sufficient. Which I applaud your parents on because they obviously taught you the same. To many out here do not teach this. So what little you've told me about them I can already tell I have a huge amount of respect for them on that.

The reason I mainly commented in jest on @Rowan Amore's post was because she isn't wrong. Women do put in a lot of work at the home especially if the man is the one out working 12 and 16 hour shifts. Now the typical man will come home tired and obviously expect a meal at least. That's been the common theme with a lot of my friends growing up when I'd stay over for the night.

I come from a generational military family so if I had to label my mentality in one word then I would say I was brought up/trained with more of a survivalist mentality. I was taught not to wait around for someone to cook my food. Go cook it myself. Don't wait around on others to get things done. Just get things done.

So for example say I come from work after 16 hours if my wife didn't have time to cook or simply just didn't feel good I don't say, "What's for dinner?". I obviously can see ain't shirt for dinner. lol I'm a grown arse man. I can do math. lol So you will never ever hear me ask that stupid question. lol So what I do is I let her know that I am fixing to go cook. What I will ask is two questions though. "You eat?", "The kids eat?". Only two questions I ask because I go cook dinner myself.

I'll go a step further even. There was a time after she had retired military service when she asked me asked me if she could do over the road truck driving. It was something she had always wanted to try. Which I think I shocked her on and I would have thought she'd known me well enough, but she expected me to out right shoot it down as most men probably would have. I mean after all not many men would be comfortable with their wife being gone, then stuck with all the duties, and them working around other men far away.

However trust and freedom in a marriage is crucial if not everything. So if I recall I am standing there cooking and she asks me and my response was brief. No questions except for one and one only. "Is that what you really want to do?", she replies, "Yes.". My reply, "Then do it.". Her expression was priceless. lol I remember she asked, "Is that all you got to say about it?". I replied back a tad sarcastically with a smile, "Would you rather we fight about it?". lol I mean later we obviously discussed it more and I let her know. I'm not going to ever tell somebody they can't do something in life they really want to do.

In fact the only time I ever got some what angry regarding that situation was a few years later when she called me from the road and asked me if I minded if she quit and came back home. In fact it kinda royally pissed me off now that I am thinking about it. lol My Hispanic accent came to the suffice. I told her straight to the point. "You don't need my permission to come home woman! You no ask me shirt! You wanna quit and come home then just quit and come home!". I'm not gonna lie. I had to woo saa on that one. I don't believe in people needing to ask permission to come home. I get she was just trying to be respectful and give me a courtesy, but that's just not something anyone ever has to ask me. So we talked a bit and she made the arrangements to come home.

So I do know what it is like to run a house solely on your own. I've always had a respect for the things women do at the home and in general basically. If anything the main thing it changed is I could relate a lot more to it. Funny story though. I'll explain how the transition of power in the house happened once she got home.

Our girls while glad their Mother was home thought they'd be glad because they did not have to suffer Dad's inspections no more before they were allowed to leave the house. It was the first, last, and only time I ever had my behind chewed over what they were wearing. It was over a skirt the youngest was wearing who was 16 at the time. I, personally thought it was fine. However her Mother did not. lol So when she called herself having a go at me I looked at her, grinned and said (Again Hispanic accent sufficed. lol), "You know what? You no like my inspections? Then you do the inspections from now on. I, quit!". Our daughter, still trying to argue her case is looking at me for help saying well he liked it. I looked back at her, smiled real big and told her straight to the point. "Did you not hear me girl? I, quit!". Walked off like a boss. lol Thus the transition of power has successfully been navigated back over to the wife. lol Mission accomplished.

Wife is now back in charge. Check. Wife is now in full on drill sergeant mode exerting her dominance over her cubs. Check. Wife is happy. Check. Happy wife is a happy life. Check. Life is goooooodddd!!!! lol The lion is now back on the rock awaiting the next orders. lol🤣

So hopefully that gives you a bit of a better idea of how I operate and function in my RL. While I may have some traditional views in how I see certain things I simply do not just up and fall in line. I do things my own way and always on the same page equally with my wife. We do things together. No one ever had to tell us or even teach us this. It simply just is.

For me the way I see it is it is more of a every day we wake up is a blessing from God. Each new day you have a new mission for that day to accomplish that life gives you. It doesn't really matter how it is accomplished. It just matters that it is accomplished. Do so with love, compassion, understanding, pride, dignity, respect, and honor. Whatever duty the wife doesn't do the husband should do and pick up the slack and whatever duty the husband doesn't do the wife should do and pick up the slack. No complaints. Only accomplish the mission. That's real teamwork.

These are some of the things I teach to my kids, grand kids, and now *coughs* one great grand child. To be self sufficient above all else and to understand the value of true teamwork. I teach them by example not to place their own self worth above that of their partner. If anything I teach them to place their partners self worth above their own. And after putting God and Jesus first to put and protect family above all else. God does not like vanity. Nor do I for that matter. It serves very little to no purpose in life. I mean I don't mind if they joke around. We all do, but I need them to understand to protect and to have a high value, respect, and regard of all life. All life is precious.

Which brings me to my next point. Regarding the men and dirt thing you said. I had to actually laugh at that because it's hard for me to imagine. lol I'm going to say that may be a thing in your area. A lot of the men in my family are gardener's in their free time. lol It kinda goes hand in hand with the self sufficient, survivalist mentality I was brought up with. In fact in the early years of my life I spent most of it as a forest child in the woods with my hound dog named Prince. I'd say about 90% of it was spent with him and the other forest creatures who lived in the woods who were my friends. Good times.🙂

Edited April 21, 2022 by Velk Kerang
Corrections.

[Arielle Popstar]

9 hours ago, Scylla Rhiadra said:

And I should be permitted to do that without having to bat off asshats who are so narcissistic that they are incapable of imagining that I'm not doing it for them.

“Clothes make the man. Naked people have little or no influence on society” Mark Twain

“The apparel oft proclaims the man.” Shakespeare The Tragedy of Hamlet

“vestis virum facit”– clothes make the man. Erasmus –The Encyclopedia of Proverbs (Adagia 3.1.60)

“From these things [clothes and personal care], you may be sure, men get a good report” Homer the Odyssey

As a ring of gold in a swine’s snout, So is a fair woman without discretion. Proverbs 11:22

"When I dress like a hooker, I get treated like one". Arielle Popstar, Secondlife

Regardless whether I am doing it for others or not, I should not be surprised at IM's or other approaches that are a reflection of the particular style I chose that day. To do so denies that human nature exists.

[Maryanne Solo]

51 minutes ago, Velk Kerang said:

I think you misunderstand me or maybe I didn't articulate myself clearly enough. When I made that statement I was making from a traditional point of view. We all learned that. That's why people argue and fuss over it so much.

As for what I personally learned from my parents, I learned to be self sufficient. Which I applaud your parents on because they obviously taught you the same. To many out here do not teach this. So what little you've told me about them I can already tell I have a huge amount of respect for them on that.

The reason I mainly commented in jest on @Rowan Amore's post was because she isn't wrong. Women do put in a lot of work at the home especially if the man is the one out working 12 and 16 hour shifts. Now the typical man will come home tired and obviously expect a meal at least. That's been the common theme with a lot of my friends growing up when I'd stay over for the night.

I come from a generational military family so if I had to label my mentality in one word then I would say I was brought up/trained with more of a survivalist mentality. I was taught not to wait around for someone to cook my food. Go cook it myself. Don't wait around on others to get things done. Just get things done.

So for example say I come from work after 16 hours if my wife didn't have time to cook or simply just didn't feel good I don't say, "What's for dinner?". I obviously can see ain't shirt for dinner. lol I'm a grown arse man. I can do math. lol So you will never ever hear me ask that stupid question. lol So what I do is I let her know that I am fixing to go cook. What I will ask is two questions though. "You eat?", "The kids eat?". Only two questions I ask because I go cook dinner myself.

I'll go a step further even. There was a time after she had retired military service when she asked me asked me if she could do over the road truck driving. It was something she had always wanted to try. Which I think I shocked her on and I would have thought she'd known me well enough, but she expected me to out right shoot it down as most men probably would have. I mean after all not many men would be comfortable with their wife being gone, then stuck with all the duties, and them working around other men far away.

However trust and freedom in a marriage is crucial if not everything. So if I recall I am standing there cooking and she asks me and my response was brief. No questions except for one and one only. "Is that what you really want to do?", she replies, "Yes.". My reply, "Then do it.". Her expression was priceless. lol I remember she asked, "Is that all you got to say about it?". I replied back a tad sarcastically with a smile, "Would you rather we fight about it?". lol I mean later we obviously discussed it more and I let her know. I'm not going to ever tell somebody they can't do something in life they really want to do.

In fact the only time I ever got some what angry regarding that situation was a few years later when she called me from the road and asked me if I minded if she quit and came back home. In fact it kinda royally pissed me off now that I am thinking about it. lol My Hispanic accent came to the suffice. I told her straight to the point. "You don't need my permission to come home woman! You no ask me shirt! You wanna quit and come home then just quit and come home!". I'm not gonna lie. I had to woo saa on that one. I don't believe in people needing to ask permission to come home. I get she was just trying to be respectful and give me a courtesy, but that's just not something anyone ever has to ask me. So we talked a bit and she made the arrangements to come home.

So I do know what it is like to run a house solely on your own. I've always had a respect for the things women do at the home and in general basically. If anything the main thing it changed is I could relate a lot more to it. Funny story though. I'll explain how the transition of power in the house happened once she got home.

Our girls while glad their Mother was home thought they'd be glad because they did not have to suffer Dad's inspections no more before they were allowed to leave the house. It was the first, last, and only time I ever had my behind chewed over what they were wearing. It was over a skirt the youngest was wearing who was 16 at the time. I, personally thought it was fine. However her Mother did not. lol So when she called herself having a go at me I looked at her, grinned and said (Again Hispanic accent sufficed. lol), "You know what? You no like my inspections? Then you do the inspections from now on. I, quit!". Our daughter, still trying to argue her case is looking at me for help saying well he liked it. I looked back at her, smiled real big and told her straight to the point. "Did you not hear me girl? I, quit!". Walked off like a boss. lol Thus the transition of power has successfully been navigated back over to the wife. lol Mission accomplished.

Wife is now back in charge. Check. Wife is now in full on drill sergeant mode exerting her dominance over her cubs. Check. Wife is happy. Check. Happy wife is a happy life. Check. Life is goooooodddd!!!! lol The lion is now back on the rock awaiting the next orders. lol🤣

So hopefully that gives you a bit of a better idea of how I operate and function in my RL. While I may have some traditional views in how I see certain things I simply do not just up and fall in line. I do things my own way and always on the same page equally with my wife. We do things together. No one ever had to tell us or even teach us this. It simply just is.

For me the way I see it is it is more of a every day we wake up is a blessing from God. Each new day you have a new mission for that day to accomplish that life gives you. It doesn't really matter how it is accomplished. It just matters that it is accomplished. Do so with love, compassion, understanding, pride, dignity, respect, and honor. Whatever duty the wife doesn't do the husband should do and pick up the slack and whatever duty the husband doesn't do the wife should do and pick up the slack. No complaints. Only accomplish the mission. That's real teamwork.

These are some of the things I teach to my kids, grand kids, and now *coughs* one great grand child. To be self sufficient above all else and to understand the value of true teamwork. I teach them by example not to place their own self worth above that of their partner. If anything I teach them to place their partners self worth above their own. And after putting God and Jesus first to put and protect family above all else. God does not like vanity. Nor do I for that matter. It serves very little to no purpose in life. I mean I don't mind if they joke around. We all do, but I need them to understand to protect and to have a high value, respect, and regard of all life. All life is precious.

Which brings me to my next point. Regarding the men and dirt thing you said. I had to actually laugh at that because it's hard for me to imagine. lol I'm going to say that may be a thing in your area. A lot of the men in my family are gardener's in their free time. lol It kinda goes hand in hand with the self sufficient, survivalist mentality I was brought up with. In fact in the early years of my life I spent most of it as a forest child in the woods with my hound dog named Prince. I'd say about 90% of it was spent with him and the other forest creatures who lived in the woods who were my friends. Good times.🙂

 

[Velk Kerang]

18 minutes ago, Maryanne Solo said:

 

[Fluffy Sharkfin]

45 minutes ago, Velk Kerang said:

So hopefully that gives you a bit of a better idea of how I operate and function in my RL. While I may have some traditional views in how I see certain things I simply do not just up and fall in line. I do things my own way and always on the same page equally with my wife. We do things together. No one ever had to tell us or even teach us this. It simply just is.

Thanks for sharing, it's nice to get insight into peoples lives and helps remind us that even if we hold very different views in some respects a lot of the core moral values that we hold are the same.

I can certainly understand people having "traditional views", there was a considerable age gap between my father and myself (and a similar age gap between he and his father) and after my parents separated when I was still very young it was left to my fathers eldest sister to look after me while he was out working, and by that time she was nearly 70 years old.  Effectively I was raised by people who's own parents were born in the late 1800s, so I know a little about being raised with traditional values myself.

Fortunately, despite having some pretty outdated notions on the concept of gender, etc. my father was one of the most intelligent, tolerant, kindest and gentlest people you could hope to meet, and above all else taught me the value of empathy, respect for others and most importantly the value of critical thinking and examining evidence and facts and using your own intellect and sense of morality to formulate an informed opinion.

The result was that as I grew up and eventually rejected some of his more out-dated perspectives in favour of the idea that everyone should be treated equally regardless of their differences we had some quite heated debates over various subjects, and while he may not have entirely changed all his previously held opinions, over the years we both grew a lot and I learned that sometimes you don't have to completely change someones mind and "win" the argument, it's enough to just give them reason to question their previously held beliefs and provide a new perspective so they can arrive at a new, more well-informed opinion rather than clinging to beliefs that are based purely on honest misunderstanding and lack of relevant experience and perspective.

So, if I seem combative when stating my opinions or responding to anyone then it's really not meant as an attack on them or their character. I'm not trying to put anyone down or alienate anyone, my whole point is that we should be more tolerant and accepting of each other, if more people realized that there's no "other" there's just us then they'd find it a lot easier to get along and we'd all be a lot safer and happier.

[Luna Bliss]

1 hour ago, Arielle Popstar said:

Regardless whether I am doing it for others or not, I should not be surprised at IM's or other approaches that are a reflection of the particular style I chose that day. To do so denies that human nature exists.

It does not surprise me that human bodies are attracted to other human bodies because there is a biological basis for this (when this occurs, as it does not always -- some people are asexual).

But manner of dress (style) and what others find attractive is culturally determined.
This "human nature" in style of dress and what one should find attractive you point to does not exist in any absolute form -- it is a cultural creation. It may have been decided to be true by a culture at a particular point in time, by men who believed women's bodies exist mainly for their pleasure and by the women who agreed in order to fit in, but it is not an absolute reality. It was a creation by people who wanted a certain order to society so they could exact maximum control for their benefit, through owning women in various ways.

So there can be no absolute as to what any particular person finds attractive. Nor can there be any absolute style of dress indicating a desire to engage with others. It's subject to interpretation.

Some might find showing more skin especially appealing, while others find it repulsive.
Typically a straight male has had the perspective in recent centuries that finds showing more skin appealing and indicative of a desire to engage with them. Too much skin showing and a woman is often labeled as promiscuous, as a s-l-u-t.

Again, past cultural perspectives are never set in stone.
Sorry (not), but the world is changing -- it's not exclusively the world of the straight male anymore.

Edited April 21, 2022 by Luna Bliss

[Fluffy Sharkfin]

1 hour ago, Arielle Popstar said:

“Clothes make the man. Naked people have little or no influence on society” Mark Twain

“The apparel oft proclaims the man.” Shakespeare The Tragedy of Hamlet

“vestis virum facit”– clothes make the man. Erasmus –The Encyclopedia of Proverbs (Adagia 3.1.60)

“From these things [clothes and personal care], you may be sure, men get a good report” Homer the Odyssey

As a ring of gold in a swine’s snout, So is a fair woman without discretion. Proverbs 11:22

"When I dress like a hooker, I get treated like one". Arielle Popstar, Secondlife

Regardless whether I am doing it for others or not, I should not be surprised at IM's or other approaches that are a reflection of the particular style I chose that day. To do so denies that human nature exists.

Mark Twain also said "Don't let schooling interfere with your education", I wonder what his thoughts would be on basing your values and opinions on proverbs and ideals created centuries ago by individuals who, despite their wisdom at the time, would most likely be at a loss for words if confronted with society as it is today?

[Rowan Amore]

1 hour ago, Arielle Popstar said:

When I dress like a hooker, I get treated like one". Arielle Popstar, Secondlife

The problem being, women get treated like hookers in SL regardless of how they dress or where they are.  THAT is the behavior that needs to change and not the length of my skirt.

[Luna Bliss]

13 hours ago, Myntz Mysterious said:

But once I feel lines have been crossed or someone has started to become obnoxious they get blocked... 😐

Yes, indeed.  And when people don't respect the 'lines' drawn by those they interact with, it is called emotional abuse.

[Coffee Pancake]

1 hour ago, Arielle Popstar said:

"When I dress like a hooker, I get treated like one". Arielle Popstar, Secondlife

And your picks is a long list if hookup spots with questionable keywords .. that's the hint.

 

[Arielle Popstar]

3 minutes ago, Rowan Amore said:

The problem being, women get treated like hookers in SL regardless of how they dress or where they are.  THAT is the behavior that needs to change and not the length of my skirt.

I don't find that to be the case for me Rowan, and was surprised when you first mentioned it to be your experience. When I dress conservatively, I rarely get IM's for anything other than a simple compliment, if that. When I dress provocatively however, the IM's double or triple though still not overly aggressive pick up lines. I must be doing something wrong.

[Love Zhaoying]

2 hours ago, Velk Kerang said:

"Did you not hear me girl? I, quit!". Walked off like a boss.

I've often wished my bosses would quit.

[Luna Bliss]

5 minutes ago, Arielle Popstar said:

I don't find that to be the case for me Rowan, and was surprised when you first mentioned it to be your experience. When I dress conservatively, I rarely get IM's for anything other than a simple compliment, if that. When I dress provocatively however, the IM's double or triple though still not overly aggressive pick up lines. I must be doing something wrong.

Women should not have to dress a certain way to avoid being hit on because men decided not dressing conservatively means she wants to engage.

Provocatively?  Why do you get to define that?

[Rowan Amore]

Just now, Arielle Popstar said:

I don't find that to be the case for me Rowan, and was surprised when you first mentioned it to be your experience. When I dress conservatively, I rarely get IM's for anything other than a simple compliment, if that. When I dress provocatively however, the IM's double or triple though still not overly aggressive pick up lines. I must be doing something wrong.

Actually, if I dress provocatively and go to an adult club, I rarely, if ever, get IMs.  If I do, surprisingly, it's usually a good chat.  Only when out and about or at a couple moderate clubs I go to, dressed in pants/shirt, normal running errands in RL clothes, do I get the inappropriate IMs.  I have also received propositions out of the blue from people trolling groups.  So what I'm wearing at the moment has nothing to do with an inappropriate IM, in my experience.

 

[Dyna Mole]

Once again, the thread has drifted off topic. The OP is about unwanted sexual comments in SL, not about RL.  

[Solar Legion]

Then close it.

This is one topic where there will be a degree of crossover.

Edited April 21, 2022 by Solar Legion

[Luna Bliss]

How we relate to others in SL is based on our perceptions from RL, and in order to show respect for women in SL these perceptions need to be examined.

They really can't be separated.

[Rowan Amore]

Yes, close it since my last comment was exclusively about SL.

ETA   Seems they were reinstated.  Thanks Dyna.

Edited April 21, 2022 by Rowan Amore

[Luna Bliss]

Wow...the comments which would allow us to sort the problem out have been removed.

[Luna Bliss]

Maybe I missed out on some horrors from posts last night or something.

Looking.

[Akane Nacht]

2 hours ago, Arielle Popstar said:

"When I dress like a hooker, I get treated like one". Arielle Popstar, Secondlife

Regardless whether I am doing it for others or not, I should not be surprised at IM's or other approaches that are a reflection of the particular style I chose that day. To do so denies that human nature exists.

While I dont do the club look much, I do go to beaches and sure, I'll get IMs when I'm sporting a bikini and I don't mind it. They won't get anywhere with it but I don't resent the attention. So I think you are correct in part.

On the other hand, I sometimes get explicit comments/compliments while wearing completely unsexy clothes, like a traditional yukata that covers me neck to toe. One time I asked a guy "are you even looking at what i'm wearing?" and he said "nope" 😆

2 hours ago, Arielle Popstar said:

“Clothes make the man. Naked people have little or no influence on society” Mark Twain

not so... there was a nekkid motorcyclist that made quite a lasting impression in my country during lockdown 2 years ago! I won't attach pic for obvious reason

[Silent Mistwalker]

1 hour ago, Dyna Mole said:

Once again, the thread has drifted off topic. The OP is about unwanted sexual comments in SL, not about RL.  

Not disagreeing with you. Just wanted to mention that talking about unwanted sexual comments in SL is a bit difficult without comparing it to RL.

I am certain your meaning is to keep our posts focused on what happens inworld while we are allowed to use RL examples to clarify what does happen in SL. 

Or something like that.

[Madelaine McMasters]

3 hours ago, Velk Kerang said:

I think you misunderstand me or maybe I didn't articulate myself clearly enough. When I made that statement I was making from a traditional point of view. We all learned that. That's why people argue and fuss over it so much.

As for what I personally learned from my parents, I learned to be self sufficient. Which I applaud your parents on because they obviously taught you the same. To many out here do not teach this. So what little you've told me about them I can already tell I have a huge amount of respect for them on that.

The reason I mainly commented in jest on @Rowan Amore's post was because she isn't wrong. Women do put in a lot of work at the home especially if the man is the one out working 12 and 16 hour shifts. Now the typical man will come home tired and obviously expect a meal at least. That's been the common theme with a lot of my friends growing up when I'd stay over for the night.

I come from a generational military family so if I had to label my mentality in one word then I would say I was brought up/trained with more of a survivalist mentality. I was taught not to wait around for someone to cook my food. Go cook it myself. Don't wait around on others to get things done. Just get things done.

So for example say I come from work after 16 hours if my wife didn't have time to cook or simply just didn't feel good I don't say, "What's for dinner?". I obviously can see ain't shirt for dinner. lol I'm a grown arse man. I can do math. lol So you will never ever hear me ask that stupid question. lol So what I do is I let her know that I am fixing to go cook. What I will ask is two questions though. "You eat?", "The kids eat?". Only two questions I ask because I go cook dinner myself.

I'll go a step further even. There was a time after she had retired military service when she asked me asked me if she could do over the road truck driving. It was something she had always wanted to try. Which I think I shocked her on and I would have thought she'd known me well enough, but she expected me to out right shoot it down as most men probably would have. I mean after all not many men would be comfortable with their wife being gone, then stuck with all the duties, and them working around other men far away.

However trust and freedom in a marriage is crucial if not everything. So if I recall I am standing there cooking and she asks me and my response was brief. No questions except for one and one only. "Is that what you really want to do?", she replies, "Yes.". My reply, "Then do it.". Her expression was priceless. lol I remember she asked, "Is that all you got to say about it?". I replied back a tad sarcastically with a smile, "Would you rather we fight about it?". lol I mean later we obviously discussed it more and I let her know. I'm not going to ever tell somebody they can't do something in life they really want to do.

In fact the only time I ever got some what angry regarding that situation was a few years later when she called me from the road and asked me if I minded if she quit and came back home. In fact it kinda royally pissed me off now that I am thinking about it. lol My Hispanic accent came to the suffice. I told her straight to the point. "You don't need my permission to come home woman! You no ask me shirt! You wanna quit and come home then just quit and come home!". I'm not gonna lie. I had to woo saa on that one. I don't believe in people needing to ask permission to come home. I get she was just trying to be respectful and give me a courtesy, but that's just not something anyone ever has to ask me. So we talked a bit and she made the arrangements to come home.

So I do know what it is like to run a house solely on your own. I've always had a respect for the things women do at the home and in general basically. If anything the main thing it changed is I could relate a lot more to it. Funny story though. I'll explain how the transition of power in the house happened once she got home.

Our girls while glad their Mother was home thought they'd be glad because they did not have to suffer Dad's inspections no more before they were allowed to leave the house. It was the first, last, and only time I ever had my behind chewed over what they were wearing. It was over a skirt the youngest was wearing who was 16 at the time. I, personally thought it was fine. However her Mother did not. lol So when she called herself having a go at me I looked at her, grinned and said (Again Hispanic accent sufficed. lol), "You know what? You no like my inspections? Then you do the inspections from now on. I, quit!". Our daughter, still trying to argue her case is looking at me for help saying well he liked it. I looked back at her, smiled real big and told her straight to the point. "Did you not hear me girl? I, quit!". Walked off like a boss. lol Thus the transition of power has successfully been navigated back over to the wife. lol Mission accomplished.

Wife is now back in charge. Check. Wife is now in full on drill sergeant mode exerting her dominance over her cubs. Check. Wife is happy. Check. Happy wife is a happy life. Check. Life is goooooodddd!!!! lol The lion is now back on the rock awaiting the next orders. lol🤣

So hopefully that gives you a bit of a better idea of how I operate and function in my RL. While I may have some traditional views in how I see certain things I simply do not just up and fall in line. I do things my own way and always on the same page equally with my wife. We do things together. No one ever had to tell us or even teach us this. It simply just is.

For me the way I see it is it is more of a every day we wake up is a blessing from God. Each new day you have a new mission for that day to accomplish that life gives you. It doesn't really matter how it is accomplished. It just matters that it is accomplished. Do so with love, compassion, understanding, pride, dignity, respect, and honor. Whatever duty the wife doesn't do the husband should do and pick up the slack and whatever duty the husband doesn't do the wife should do and pick up the slack. No complaints. Only accomplish the mission. That's real teamwork.

These are some of the things I teach to my kids, grand kids, and now *coughs* one great grand child. To be self sufficient above all else and to understand the value of true teamwork. I teach them by example not to place their own self worth above that of their partner. If anything I teach them to place their partners self worth above their own. And after putting God and Jesus first to put and protect family above all else. God does not like vanity. Nor do I for that matter. It serves very little to no purpose in life. I mean I don't mind if they joke around. We all do, but I need them to understand to protect and to have a high value, respect, and regard of all life. All life is precious.

Which brings me to my next point. Regarding the men and dirt thing you said. I had to actually laugh at that because it's hard for me to imagine. lol I'm going to say that may be a thing in your area. A lot of the men in my family are gardener's in their free time. lol It kinda goes hand in hand with the self sufficient, survivalist mentality I was brought up with. In fact in the early years of my life I spent most of it as a forest child in the woods with my hound dog named Prince. I'd say about 90% of it was spent with him and the other forest creatures who lived in the woods who were my friends. Good times.🙂

Holy hell, Velk! You could have saved both of us a lot of typing if you'd said "Yeah, there's really not all that much men shirt or women shirt, there's just a lot of shirt that needs doing. Each of us should know how to do all kinds of shirt and we do it faster and better when we do it together."

 

As for men getting their hands dirty, that was tongue-in-cheek. My little neighborhood, though I used it as an example of equi-shirted-ness with a "guys on lawn tractors anomaly", is still not representative of anything other than my little neighborhood.

My father was raised by his grandparents after being given up by his mother, who was in no mood to deal with his lactose intolerance. His grandmother died when he was very young, so it was just the two guys thereafter. Dad lied his way into the Navy at age 16 so his grandfather could have his life back. They teamed up again a decade later, in the house where I still live, adding Mom to the mix.

Mom was one of fourteen, eight girls and six boys. Grampa was 20 years older than Grandma, and in declining health by the time Mom was born, so the kids ran the farm. When WWII started, all the boys went off to war, leaving the entire farm in the hands of the girls.

By the time Mom and Dad met, they each could do anything they needed on their own, except make another generation of trouble. It took them 23 years to do that (19 married, practice makes perfect ;-), and they knew I was gonna be the only one. So, they poured everything they knew into me, except any desire to make another generation of trouble.

My parents were very different, with broad, overlapping, and complimentary skill sets. Dad was the analyzer, Mom was the socializer. Each had the other's back and neither was afraid to offer constructive criticism in the most backhanded way, which explains my sense of humor.

It's just me here now, living in the woods of my childhood (minus all the ash trees), still fixing all the things that break over time, less than half as fast as Mom and Dad did together. I've also inherited my late neighbor's kid, now nearly 28. My father took him under his wing when his alcoholic dad refused to take care of a surprise son 20 years after the birth of his daughter, and left his mother, and town.

When Alzheimer's took Dad, Mom and I picked up the dad duties. When his mother died, we took up the mom duties as well. When Mom died, I was left holding a new generation of trouble I never wanted.

No women shirt, no men shirt, just shirt that needs to get done.

We can do it!