Making SL more welcoming to males

[Beth Macbain]

2 minutes ago, Seicher Rae said:

Debates are fine. This ain't one. Even though one guy wanted to throw out a debate term, but sadly used it incorrectly.

I really wanted to say argument, but thought saying debate would be a bit nicer. I love a good fight. I don’t set out to start them, but I don’t hesitate to speak up when I disagree with someone and don’t back down because I do find it enjoyable, especially when people get it all out and then start finding solutions or commonalities.

Yeah, I’m weird.

[Conall DeCuir]

Just now, Beth Macbain said:

Question-When you say “roleplay,” do you mean sex, or actually creating characters and making a storyline, etc?

If i would seek for sex, i would not enter roleplay and do all the work just to get a woman in my bed but would go to some club and say "hi". My roleplay is meant for deeper storylines, immersion, conflict and tension. Something with a reason. Preferably longterm with a slow build up. Oh, and no slaves .. please, no slaves.

[Beth Macbain]

1 minute ago, Conall DeCuir said:

If i would seek for sex, i would not enter roleplay and do all the work just to get a woman in my bed but would go to some club and say "hi". My roleplay is meant for deeper storylines, immersion, conflict and tension. Something with a reason. Preferably longterm with a slow build up. Oh, and no slaves .. please, no slaves.

I was just curious. When I hear the term roleplay I automatically think it’s going to be sexual. Since I don’t RP, I actually have no idea if it’s sexual or not.

[Seicher Rae]

2 minutes ago, Beth Macbain said:

... especially when people get it all out and then start finding solutions or commonalities...

What weird internet have you been reading where that happens? 

[Seicher Rae]

4 minutes ago, Conall DeCuir said:

If i would seek for sex, i would not enter roleplay and do all the work just to get a woman in my bed but would go to some club and say "hi". My roleplay is meant for deeper storylines, immersion, conflict and tension. Something with a reason. Preferably longterm with a slow build up. Oh, and no slaves .. please, no slaves.

But but but... there could totally be slaves in a Skyrim RP! Nasty necromancer enslaves you, a high elf gets all full of himself... Sigh. Fine. No slaves. (Not even after a ransacking a town?) :::grumbles:::  They don't have to be sex slaves...

[Beth Macbain]

Just now, Seicher Rae said:

What weird internet have you been reading where that happens? 

I’ve had tons of internet arguments where it has gotten just rancid, but at some point takes a turn. It’s not ever happened, I don’t think, where we’ve changed each other’s minds, but plenty of times where it has ended with listening to each other’s points and concluding that neither of us coming from a bad place even though we are passionately on different sides.

I use Twitter when I really want to get down in the mud. I love to argue politics, abortion, gun control, religion and like to pick someone as far opposite me as possible. More often than not, it’s just a screaming match, which can be cathartic, but there have been a surprising number of times we’ve ended up shaking hands at the end.

[Tari Landar]

17 minutes ago, Erwin Solo said:

Well, its all that and more.  If a female asserts that a male has an improper thought, then as you say: "females jump on that poor bastard."

He doesn't have to do it, or think it.  He just has to be accused.  

Yeah, that's part of the double standard I see here, especially from some people who seem absolutely certain that all, or most, of the men that dare ever utter a word to them MUST be looking for sex.

Which leads me to my usual thought process when I see people say these things...

"Honey...none of us are that good, I can assure you. No matter how confident you are in yourself...there isn't a single person anywhere on this planet that is going to appeal to all of the opposite gender on such a grand scale. NO ONE is that good"

I never say it to anyone, because I know it won't be received well, and I know I'll get raked over the coals for daring to say such a horrible thing to anyone. But, I damn well know I'm not the only one thinking it, lol. 

There is really a huge double standard in sl, it actually does bother me that most men get a bad rap...even if there are a few bad apples. Because there are way more bad female apples out there...and we certainly don't all get a bad rap because of them. It's quite unfair, imo. 

Then again...I really, really don't like double standards, and I really, really, really dislike when they come from people who also claim to hate them lol.

Edited November 18, 2019 by Tari Landar
typos....typos everywhere

[Conall DeCuir]

12 minutes ago, Beth Macbain said:

I was just curious. When I hear the term roleplay I automatically think it’s going to be sexual. Since I don’t RP, I actually have no idea if it’s sexual or not.

It can be sexual and if it enhances the story, has a meaning, i am all fine with it. It depends at the people involved and when it fits its cool.

Edited November 18, 2019 by Conall DeCuir

[Beth Macbain]

1 minute ago, Tari Landar said:

NO ONE is that good

I am!!

Kidding! 😝

[Seicher Rae]

1 minute ago, Tari Landar said:

"Honey...none of us are that good, I can assure you. No matter how confident you are in yourself...there isn't a single person anywhere on this planet that is going to appeal to all of the opposite gender on such a grand scale. NO ONE is that good"

Hmph. Speak for yourself, missy.

 

[Tari Landar]

Just now, Beth Macbain said:

I am!!

Kidding! 😝

LMAO

I'm glad you said it first, lol. 

(it's bound to yank some cranks and knot some knickers, I'm sure)

[Seicher Rae]

Just now, Tari Landar said:

LMAO

I'm glad you said it first, lol. 

(it's bound to yank some cranks and knot some knickers, I'm sure)

She beat me to it because I went for the quality post with the jpg.

[Madelaine McMasters]

1 hour ago, Beth Macbain said:

I won’t give these dudes credit for destroying humanity.

Good, I want that credit.

[Conall DeCuir]

9 minutes ago, Seicher Rae said:

But but but... there could totally be slaves in a Skyrim RP! Nasty necromancer enslaves you, a high elf gets all full of himself... Sigh. Fine. No slaves. (Not even after a ransacking a town?) :::grumbles:::  They don't have to be sex slaves...

The bolded part in the quote is what never works out in any rp setting when you put 'slave' in the keywords. It is often the only reason girls join the RP because its so much fun  and then the sim is very quickly overrun by naughty slaves because everyone has the opinion that where the slaves are, the men will go. My experience is a bit different. Many men will not go there at all or even leave.

[Conall DeCuir]

10 minutes ago, Tari Landar said:

"Honey...none of us are that good, I can assure you. No matter how confident you are in yourself...there isn't a single person anywhere on this planet that is going to appeal to all of the opposite gender on such a grand scale. NO ONE is that good"

I like that quote!

[Tari Landar]

I'm quite confident in my own self..at least in that arena (I fail in many others, rofl). But it's preposterous to even THINK that any male who says "hi" wants in your pants. That's not confidence, that's flat out ridiculousness. It seriously makes me laugh, a LOT, every time I see it. I just gets funnier when commenting on it gets turned around like it's the worst insult ever. I mean..come on...  lmao That *****'s funny right there. 

I know some people say things like that jokingly, and it's super easy to tell when they're not being serious. But...some people seem to really believe that, and I just can't....just can't. Every single one of you ought to be glad that none of you can hear me when I read these forums (or in group chats, or..anywhere for that matter). I laugh like a chipmunk and that kind of stuff makes me bust up laughing.(and cursing like I've stepped on a floor made of lego...and I also type like my life depends on making every key scream, but that's besides the point)

[Scylla Rhiadra]

1 hour ago, Beth Macbain said:

We all know, as do you, that everyone wants different things. In general, though, it’s a pretty safe assumption that women want to be treated as respected equals.

THIS THIS THIS.

That is what this is all about. Why is this so fricking hard????

Don't use denigrating terms to refer to women. Don't accuse them of being cabalistic gonad-eating witches when they get offended at language that is not respectful. Don't objectify them and salivate as you count them, as though they were some kind of herd animal you can hunt and kill. Don't dismiss their concerns as "hysteria."

Help foster a respectful environment for everyone by calling out people who do any of the above things.

Honest to god, we're not asking much. BE RESPECTFUL.

 

2 hours ago, iamyourneighbour said:

While the other side has ample time and is typing up thesis response,this is what dear Scylla is doing:

Talks about gender issues to bait out the hard line misogynist and misandrist then try to drag people who are otherwise neutral into the war, Scylla, I would like to let you know humans do not separate into mere two categories and you are dehumanizing them by putting them into two categories. 

Then after people who are neutral leave the conversation because they have things to do, work to go to, kids to look after you say 'ha I win they ran away'

Then when you run out valid points you will resolve to pick on grammar mistakes. Your strategy is to wait long enough for other side to leave. 

You may think there is a gender war, like fringe members of the society thinking there is a 'race war'. Well there isn't. Stop trying to divide people. 

I'm not interested in wars, and I can assure you that I'm not marshaling legions of feminist minions and alts to bury you.

I ask one, simple thing.

Please don't use derogatory, insulting, and reductive language to refer to women.

Is that really so much to ask?

[Erwin Solo]

1 minute ago, Conall DeCuir said:

The bolded part in the quote is what never works out in any rp setting when you put 'slave' in the keywords. It is often the only reason girls join the RP because its so much fun  and then the sim is very quickly overrun by naughty slaves because everyone has the opinion that where the slaves are, the men will go. My experience is a bit different. Many men will not go there at all or even leave.

Yeah, there are just so many of them.  Its a very popular RP choice for some reason.  I wrote in detail about the one man on a tropical island with twelve supermodels earlier.  Its a lot like that; it is possible to have too much of a good thing. 

[Seicher Rae]

It's gotta be really strange reading only part of a thread because you've blocked half of the posters. 

[Scylla Rhiadra]

2 hours ago, Conall DeCuir said:

2 hours ago, Scylla Rhiadra said:

misogyny

I left when this was mentioned the 2nd time. It's just getting old.

Hey Conall, you know who else is really bored of the word "misogyny"?

Me.

I'm tired of reading it, I'm tired of writing it.

Wanna know what you can do to ensure that neither of us has to deal with it ever again?

Help eradicate it.

[Conall DeCuir]

1 minute ago, Erwin Solo said:

Yeah, there are just so many of them.  Its a very popular RP choice for some reason.  I wrote in detail about the one man on a tropical island with twelve supermodels earlier.  Its a lot like that; it is possible to have too much of a good thing. 

I think we both have been on identical islands. 

[Tari Landar]

7 minutes ago, Scylla Rhiadra said:

THIS THIS THIS.

That is what this is all about. Why is this so fricking hard????

Don't use denigrating terms to refer to women. Don't accuse them of being cabalistic gonad-eating witches when they get offended at language that is not respectful. Don't objectify them and salivate as you count them, as though they were some kind of herd animal you can hunt and kill. Don't dismiss their concerns as "hysteria."

Help foster a respectful environment for everyone by calling out people who do any of the above things.

Honest to god, we're not asking much. BE RESPECTFUL.

 

 

I'm not interested in wars, and I can assure you that I'm not marshaling legions of feminist minions and alts to bury you.

I ask one, simple thing.

Please don't use derogatory, insulting, and reductive language to refer to women.

Is that really so much to ask?

Just a jumping off point (and I do actually agree with you)

Why aren't women fighting for these same "rights" for men in sl? Why are we okay with some suggesting that all men who say hello want a ride on the magic carpet? Why are we okay with men being denigrated at all?

You can literally turn everything you've said around on females, and it's actually the norm many males experience, but we;'re cool with that, right? All because some men think with their sausages and that's not ok..but women thinking with their burgers is perfectly fine? 

There is a HUGE double standard in sl...huge.

I do agree that women shouldn't be denigrated, but I also agree that men shouldn't. Men, by far and large are treated FAR worse in sl than women are, by all genders, really, lol. Women are most definitely not treated as poorly in sl as they often are in rl. 

All people in sl deserve to be treated with respect until or unless they, specifically, have given you reason not to. If your approach in life is that all must first earn your respect, then I suggest treating all disrespectfully until they give you reason to respect them. Either way, it's an even slate to start with, right? (or, it should be)

Edited November 18, 2019 by Tari Landar

[Conall DeCuir]

1 minute ago, Scylla Rhiadra said:

Hey Conall, you know who else is really bored of the word "misogyny"?

Me.

I'm tired of reading it, I'm tired of writing it.

Then stop to do it.😎

[Scylla Rhiadra]

1 hour ago, Seicher Rae said:

Ooooooooh. I wonder if the nice man with the "no U" grunt was intimating that I'm an alt. An alt to someone who normally types with extra U's, like a... Canadian?

/me looks @Scylla Rhiadra The very same Scylla who very well will understand about alt pointing, accusations, and moi.  The same Scylla who is probably rolling over and laughing (as I am) about that possible meaning of the grunted utterance. I don't think I was ever accused of being your alt before, or vice versa, do you?  I have zero idea what he was on about, but I sincerely hope that this was it.

I'm not sure if that's what he meant or not, but yeah. The accusation of "alt" is a pretty standard one. When I first appeared on the forums in whatever year it was, I was accused of being an alt, or having alts, or something similar, I don't really remember.

It's kind of a handy way of not having to deal with the actual content of a post.

The idea that you are my alt is rather amusing, though. 🙂

[Seicher Rae]

30 minutes ago, Beth Macbain said:

I was just curious. When I hear the term roleplay I automatically think it’s going to be sexual. Since I don’t RP, I actually have no idea if it’s sexual or not.

Offtopic (like there's still a topic?): Really good RP is like creating an interactive novel. You create characters and an arc. There is tension. There is an ending. It can be any genre, historical fiction to porn (and like RL porn that type often lacks severely in the plot and dialogue). SL is set up to be a great place for it, and yet... it is so blasted hard to find a good RP place. Either the players are really strict and only write paragraphs (which I don't like), or no one sticks to the themes so you have people running around with tennis shoes and lollipops (and the noises) in a Roman themed place, or...  There's a lot to keeping a RP place active and sadly not too many places have gotten the magic formula.