Pet Peeve

[Isabel Barcelos]

OK, so last night I was standing by some lucky chairs and there was another girl and a guy there.  No one said anything, which is fine, b/c lucky chair camping is usually what I'm doing when SL isn't getting my full attention.  Well, after a little while, the guy leaves.  About 10 minutes later, he sends me both a friend request and a TP request, at the same time, without ever saying a word. 

So, I said hi to him and said, I don't make a habit of just accepting blind TPs or friend requests.  Hoping at least that would spark a convo.  (I wasn't "interested" in him as I've got a serious BF, but you never know when a friend is in the making.) He just said OK LOL.  And then sent another!!! 

I thought, well, maybe this guy is a noob, but nope.  Born in 2008.  How could someone survive that long in SL without gaining some social skills?!?!  Has anyone else experienced bizarre behavior like this, from someone who should by now know better??  Or am I the weird one here?

[Lolalovejoy1488303268]

Experienced it LODSA times, very annoying actually they may not be noobs but they still act like them

[Chelsea Malibu]

I don't really consider rez date as a factor in how experienced they are.  I've met many with old rez dates who have rarely logged in to their noob looking avatar while others who are fairly new know everything since they read these forums, use the Knowledge Base and play a lot.

It's not as much a pet peeve to me as it is others since I just ignore them.  My pet peeve is when I am trying to help a newbie and they keep telling me "It does not work" when they should be saying "I can't figure out how it works" or "It's not there" when they should be saying "I can't find it".

In the end, it's really more about paying attention and as we all know, many don't.

[Charolotte Caxton]

No, you are not weird. It happens all the time. It makes me wonder if maybe they only log on like once a year or something, in effect making them newish like. 

Then I wonder, well maybe this actually works for them? 

Whatev, it's annoying definitely.

[Kelli May]

It happens to me too. Not all the time, but often enough to bug me. Accepting a friend request is almost like giving someone your phone number. I only accept them now from people who have talked a bit and feel like they have something in common with me.

Blind TPs are much the same. Nothing gets someone off my friends list faster than an unnanounced TP offer, especially when it turns out they just want to drag me to a lucky chair, midnight mania or to boost the crowd at their friend's event. Like you say, it's not just noobs either. I see it as part of the mentality that SL is 'just a game' and no-one else's life is real. We're just another part of the game there to entertain them.

[Claireschen Hesten]

it's not uncommon i've experienced it as well as friend offers and tp's from complete strangers who haven't as much as im'd me or been in the same sim while i've not been afk

 

[Isabel Barcelos]

You're totally right! He eventually responded to my comment about not taking TPs from strangers as "it's SL, no strangers here".  Um, yea, almost everyone is a stranger, especially if you don't talk to me first!  Then he made a comment about "no drama" - that ticked me off.  I was being very polite - just trying to figure out why he was doing what he was.  Sigh.  I guess if you don't have social skills in RL, I can't expect you to have them in SL! LOL

[Sophia Trefusis]

Its SL there are some pretty weird people in here you know But seriously...Some people lack the most basic social skills

Several times its happened that people friended me without even saying "hello". Just to have another friend on their friendslist.

There even was this one time I took mercy on a newbie I met in a sandbox.Worst mistake ever >_<

She followed me saying "This avatar is better than yours,you should test it" me: "Umm..I like my own avatar"

 IM-ed me constantly with inane questions and requests,in the end I had to mute her.

 

Some people have no shame whatsoever...

[Canoro Philipp]

this is a permanent problem, there always gonna be people like this, if they didnt acquire social skills during their lifetime, they are not gonna learn them here.

the only thing we can do is know how to deal with it, because people like that are going to keep coming.

[Venus Petrov]

Do not allow it to peeve you.  Just deal with it in a way that suits you.  So, you opened an IM with him thinking there might be a potential 'friend' there.  It was a risk.  No sense in getting peeved at him if he did not conform to your ideal of correct social skills.

Adjust your approach for next time (there *will* be a next time) and move on.

[Persephone Emerald]

" I guess if you don't have social skills in RL, I can't expect you to have them in SL! LOL "

^ This is the real problem. Noobishness in a newbie is to be expected & can be corrected with a little kindness & patience.  But some people just lack good social skills no matter where they are.  Maybe the predominance of the internet, social media & texting is part of the problem.  They're so used to texting & tweeting everyone all the time. They probably don't see it as a small invasion of other people's lives.  Few people seem to learn proper social niceties, spelling, punctuation, grammar.  They don't seem to understand that intruding on another person's time requires an "Excuse me", "Hello", "Can you help me?" or "Are you busy?" first. They don't seem to understand that punctuation, good spelling & grammar serve a purpose to help the person understand you better. 

HELLO, people. Punctuation is not just decoration for your sentence, that you can dispense with when you're too lazy to put it out.

I have one SL & Facebook friend who's sweet, but clueless about such things. She says hello to me in IM or Facebook chat whenever she sees I'm on, doesn't bother to ask if I'm busy, wants to chat about inane details of her life, says brb in the middle of a conversation & then disappears for a hour or longer.  I finally had to block her from seeing when I'm on SL, because I don't want to unfriend her, but I don't come to SL to listen to her inane blather the whole time either.

[Marcus Hancroft]

---

Isabel Barcelos wrote:

OK, so last night I was standing by some lucky chairs and there was another girl and a guy there.  No one said anything, which is fine, b/c lucky chair camping is usually what I'm doing when SL isn't getting my full attention.  Well, after a little while, the guy leaves.  About 10 minutes later, he sends me both a friend request and a TP request, at the same time, without ever saying a word. 

So, I said hi to him and said, I don't make a habit of just accepting blind TPs or friend requests.  Hoping at least that would spark a convo.  (I wasn't "interested" in him as I've got a serious BF, but you never know when a friend is in the making.) He just said OK LOL.  And then sent another!!! 

I thought, well, maybe this guy is a noob, but nope.  Born in 2008.  How could someone survive that long in SL without gaining some social skills?!?!  Has anyone else experienced bizarre behavior like this, from someone who should by now know better??  Or am I the weird one here?

---

Yeah, this drives me nutso too.  If someone sends me a friend request without first saying at LEAST Hello, I just click the Ignore button.  There have been a couple of times when the same person kept sending the request every few minutes when I didn't accept his invitation.  I finally had to IM him and explain things.  I have other pet peeves too that are just as annoying to me as that...ready?...

1)  Pants legs tucked inside the tops of boots.  (Nobody wears their pants legs crammed into their boots in RL,except maybe motorcycle cops) so why do it here??

2)  Tattoos.  Everywhere you look, tattoos, tattoos, tattoos.  Full arm tattoos, full body, some are even full paragraphs all over people!  Seriously?  And they think anybody can read that tiny writing or even will TRY?  Know why so many people have them?  They are easy!  A few lindens and TA-DA!  You can have your body just simply COVERED in tattoos.  In the real world though, you have to sit for hours sometimes withstanding horrible pain to have the tattoos.  Okay, maybe (like me) you don't have any tattoos in RL but you always wanted one.  Here you can have one instantly.  Fine.  But when I look around and see SO MANY people covered in them?  Why would I want to do the same thing and just look like every other avatar in SL?

3)  Talking Genitalia.  Does anybody really need their hooha or their sausage telling, for all the world to hear, everything that's goin on?  No.  No.  No.  Turn that OFF!

4)  Smilers.  You know about these.  You use them to make your avatar smile over and over and over again for no particular reason.  There was a thread about these not long ago, so I'll leave this one there.

5)  Guys standing or walking around with a constant erection because they forgot to deflate it, or dressed without making it invisible and didn't spin their camera around to check and make sure everything was good before teleporting away.  What I want to say (and have several times) when I see that:  "Hey, Dude...to avoid long term injury, seek immediate medical attention for an erection lasting more than four hours."

These are just 5 of my top ones.  I have 1,273,650 more, but, that would just make this reply WAY too long.  In closing...please try to be your own avatar in SL.  Don't look like one of the masses.  There are infinite possibilities here so take advantage of that!  Be original!

See you around the grid! 

[Jacki Silverfall]

Publicly getting my posts corrected. Is it really necessary?

[Pamela Galli]

I get friend requests all the time, esp while I am not inworld, and I finally realized that these are from those ppl who do not understand that they CAN send me a message whether I am inworld or not and I will not only get it but reply (even tho my entire profile is devoted to making this point).

Noooo they can only speak to me in real time -- IMs are like the telephone. My response is no good unless it is in real time. So if they friend me they will know when I am online and can pounce the minute I log in.

[Syo Emerald]

Ah, I thought about those strange behavior just a couple of days ago....it often happens when you are even not thinking that it could happen right now in front of your avatars nose. Here are a few of my examples:

1.) Me and my catcollar.

I'm often a running around as a neko or an ocelot. To fit that apperiance I wear a normal catcollar (you know, those belt with a bell to make it harder for the cat to catch birds). And it seems like people can't resist to zoom to my avatar and touch the damn collar! I see it cause the resizemenu shows up everytime.....what do they think? That I'm a damn slave who is to stupid to take care that the collar is save form others?

2.) One other day, I was sitting at a beach, relaxing, reading something...when suddenly a female avatar with a newbie look appeared next to me an tells me in local chat that my avatar is not pretty. As I didn't response to that she said it again, thinking that I didn't know see was talking to me. Just.....strange....

3.) Stupid questions.....Best situation: I was at a club, dancing and there was an event going on. "Best demon" with 500L on the board. So I switched to my demonavatar (grey skin, claws instead of feet, horns, tail, long white hair) and just minutes after that I got an IM from some stranger: "Do you want a slave".

 

:matte-motes-mad:

 

 

[Marigold Devin]

It certainly does make you wonder what some people are like in their real lives, and you are not the weird one here.  He's obviously the type of person who would, if you knew him in real life, just call round your house unexpectedly and without ringing first and then look quite put out if you were actually already busy with something that you didn't want to break off from doing.  (my RL pet peeve!)

My pet peeve in SL is when people who consider themselves to be my friend ninja IM me before I've even logged in properly, and send several lines of text. That is just a surefire way of getting muted.



[Argus Collingwood]

I had a pet peeve once but I forgot to feed him and he died;-) 

[Melita Magic]

Noooo they can only speak to me in real time -- IMs are like the telephone. My response is no good unless it is in real time. So if they friend me they will know when I am online and can pounce the minute I log in.

I get friend requests all the time, esp while I am not inworld, and I finally realized that these are from those ppl who do not understand that they CAN send me a message whether I am inworld or not and I will not only get it but reply (even tho my entire profile is devoted to making this point).

_____

This.

I really hate the "friend list" for this reason. If someone really is my friend, that is, we both enjoy chatting to each other or have some common interest that's longstanding, or work at a goal together in Second Life or hang out a lot, then it might make sense. I can see where it's easier to open the Friend List rolodex than to search in Search. So, okay.  Then it makes sense!

But if that isn't the case, and I don't know someone long enough so that we both know each other's pace, or how to IM each other, then why? I'd like to know someone's pace so that I know they won't pounce on me the moment I log in, won't spend hours talking about their "psycho ex" without even asking if I'm busy first...etc. I came to hate the friend list except for real friends because of how many people out there abuse it.

It's also kind of a test that I say more than once in my profile how I feel about this issue, and some still ignore it and because we talked for a few minutes, send one anyway. Isn't it part of SL etiquette to read someone's profile first?

[Six Igaly]

It would have been bizarre if this guy was on the lucky chair with his own arm burried up to the elbow in his rear end, asking you to join him! All he did now was inviting you out of the blue.  And how can you ever tell someone should know better? This only goes for people who are just as educated and living by the same standards as yourself. What is normal for you is not normal for me and vice versa. If you think he is weird (which you do) you would have just ignored the guy. Admit, you was just looking for a new pet peeve and found yourself one. :matte-motes-evil-invert:

[Vladi Hazelnut]

I normally except friend requests from anyone, then just weed them out later. As for random tp requests, that it is the easiest way to get off my friends list. If it continues just AR them for harassment and mute them.

I have many pet peaves in sl, that one is kind of far down on the list, but its on it. One of my biggest is that I do customer support for our products in sl. It drives me nuts when someone asks for help then doesn't pay attention, doesn't do what I tell them to do, or goes afk while I am helping them. I dropped what I was doing to help you, you can at least pay attention while I try to help you.