Self-Care September Promotion & SL Groups

[Luna Bliss]

I'm very impressed with how SL is promoting the following.   Have you participated in supportive groups or activities within SL that helped you, or would you ever consider doing so?

 

Self-Care September

 

September celebrates Self-Care Awareness Month. Take a moment to find your oasis.

Dive into serene Second Life destinations, offering meditation spaces, reflection corners, support groups, and more.

Edited September 10, 2023 by Luna Bliss

[Ayashe Ninetails]

53 minutes ago, Luna Bliss said:

...or would you ever consider doing so?

No. Never been interested in support groups/activities in SL.

As to the rest, it'll be different for everyone I'm sure, but for me, self-care means getting far away from the computer and electronics. When I really need to unplug, I meditate, do yoga, practice belly dance, and tap into offline creativity (making things by hand).

[Rolig Loon]

Nope. I get what support I need from within and from friends in both RL and SL. Support groups may be important for some people, but I've never felt the need.

[Love Zhaoying]

1 hour ago, Luna Bliss said:

I'm very impressed with how SL is promoting the following.   Have you participated in supportive groups or activities within SL that helped you, or would you ever consider doing so?

 

Self-Care September

 

September celebrates Self-Care Awareness Month. Take a moment to find your oasis.

Dive into serene Second Life destinations, offering meditation spaces, reflection corners, support groups, and more.

It's no substitute for professional, licensed therapy.

[Love Zhaoying]

Adding: RL "anonymous" support groups such as AA, NA, have "in-person", "face-to-face" meetings where you get to know the other real person, can connect with them, and get a real in-person sponsor. I can only assume you won't get any of that from SL "support groups". 

[Ayashe Ninetails]

15 minutes ago, Love Zhaoying said:

Adding: RL "anonymous" support groups such as AA, NA, have "in-person", "face-to-face" meetings where you get to know the other real person, can connect with them, and get a real in-person sponsor. I can only assume you won't get any of that from SL "support groups". 

This is a good point. Some people just hop into SL and say things, too, so who really knows who you're sharing things with.

I put self-care in a different category - that can be as simple as taking time out to slowly enjoy a cup of tea all the way up through spending an entire weekend in a spa retreat halfway across the country. SL just doesn't meet that need for me, though.

Edited September 10, 2023 by Ayashe Ninetails
Grammaring

[Love Zhaoying]

2 minutes ago, Ayashe Ninetails said:

I put self-care in a different category

Awesome point. Self-care is not really related to "support groups", or "supportive groups" as the OP put it.

 

[Marigold Devin]

1 minute ago, Love Zhaoying said:

Awesome point. Self-care is not really related to "support groups", or "supportive groups" as the OP put it.

 

... as Linden Lab put it, and as we discussed on another thread earlier today. 

Self-care is what we do for ourselves as individuals, taking a ten minute time out with a book, sitting quietly with a face mask on*, to give us back our self-worth, which can be diminished by stressful environments, and ungrateful bosses or relatives who tug at us during most of our waking hours.

Linden Lab's was just using the fact that September is self-care month (in real life), so were using that as a way of promoting some of the photograph-worthy destinations in Second Life, rather than offering group therapy. 

 

*many other options are available, depending on what each individual deems to be self-care based on their own needs.

 

[Ceka Cianci]

Myself no, I don't really put much things like that on the internet anywhere or really outside of my family.. I have the best support team that anyone could ask for

Honestly, If people can find  comfort in other people they trust in here I think that is great..

 

[Luna Bliss]

An important point -- Support groups are not the same as group therapy, and LL is advocating support groups and is not mentioning anything about group therapy here.

https://renapollak.com/differences-support-group-and-group-therapy/

For example, I attend a support group named Death Cafe (when I tell a friend trying to rope me someplace and I say where I'm at they face-palm me...lol).  Like, DEATH CAFE WHAT???

Anyway, at Death Cafe we talk about those we knew, both in 1st & 2nd lives, who died, and also about death in general as it's almost a taboo to talk about death in the Western world.  These Death Cafe's exist in 1st life too.  Death is difficult to deal with, but people don't necessarily need psychotherapy used to overcome deeper psychological issues stemming from childhood abuse or mental illness -- they simply benefit from sharing their experience with others and hearing what others are going through. Insight is gained, and people don't feel so alone with their problem.

https://www.talkdeath.com/what-is-death-cafe-my-experience-studying-participating-hosting-death-cafes/

For me, personally, there is no Death Cafe in my podunk area of the country, so I was pleased to find we have an actual 1st life Death Doula (like a midwife, but helping people deal with deaths of loved ones) who holds meetings here in 2nd life.  Cattie Rosca is her name in 2nd life, and if you search a bit you can find her 1st life website.

 

Edited September 10, 2023 by Luna Bliss

[Luna Bliss]

5 hours ago, Love Zhaoying said:

Self-care is not really related to "support groups", or "supportive groups" as the OP put it.

Support groups are an important tool for self-care. One of many.

[Luna Bliss]

5 hours ago, Love Zhaoying said:

7 hours ago, Luna Bliss said:

I'm very impressed with how SL is promoting the following.   Have you participated in supportive groups or activities within SL that helped you, or would you ever consider doing so?

 

Self-Care September

 

September celebrates Self-Care Awareness Month. Take a moment to find your oasis.

Dive into serene Second Life destinations, offering meditation spaces, reflection corners, support groups, and more.

Expand  

It's no substitute for professional, licensed therapy.

I agree that 'self care' (including support groups) would not be a substitute for professional, licensed therapy for a person who has a mental illness....but did somebody say it would be?

Most people just have difficulty in traversing the passages of life -- some are quite difficult.  They don't need psychotherapy for some sort of major mental illness. But they do need to take care of themselves in the best way possible, and wherever they can find any needed support.

[Kathlen Onyx]

3 hours ago, Luna Bliss said:

Support groups are an important tool for self-care. One of many.

I agree that support groups are important. 

Would I ever entertain the idea of going to any kind of support group or therapy in Second Life? HELL NO.

Why would I put out RL feelings and information to a group platform where most people either are lying or roleplaying.   How would you ever be able to tell the difference?  You can't count on privacy. Are you aware of how much rumors and gossip happen here?

NO, Second Life is NOT a safe place for these kinds of activities and I wish people would stop promoting it.

 

[Luna Bliss]

26 minutes ago, Sam Bellisserian said:

3 hours ago, Luna Bliss said:

Support groups are an important tool for self-care. One of many.

I agree that support groups are important. 

Would I ever entertain the idea of going to any kind of support group or therapy in Second Life? HELL NO.

Why would I put out RL feelings and information to a group platform where most people either are lying or roleplaying.   How would you ever be able to tell the difference?  You can't count on privacy. Are you aware of how much rumors and gossip happen here?

NO, Second Life is NOT a safe place for these kinds of activities and I wish people would stop promoting it.

Yet a few weeks ago you expressed on the forum how you wanted to have a romantic relationship in 2nd life where you could be assured of the person's gender and trust that they were being real with their feelings and description of their life, both 1st and 2nd life.

So how is this different from doing the same thing in a group?

Edited September 11, 2023 by Luna Bliss

[Luna Bliss]

27 minutes ago, Sam Bellisserian said:

Why would I put out RL feelings and information to a group platform where most people either are lying or roleplaying

Most people in the Death Cafe group I'm in are not lying or roleplaying.  Your accusation is insulting. We've talked for months now and know each other fairly well, with some even connecting in 1st life.

I think, most likely, you simply don't hang out in the same places I do. There are more trustworthy places than clubs tend to provide, where people are more involved with 1st life stuff (growth, learning, art).

It's totally fine if you don't trust and don't want to be a part of these groups, but I wish you'd stop speaking as if you have the truth for all people, because you don't.

It's wise to be cautious though, and check support groups out thoroughly (in both 1st and 2nd life), and make sure they're helping you. Same with personal relationships. Risk is always there, so be alert and choose carefully.

Edited September 11, 2023 by Luna Bliss

[Luna Bliss]

I think we need to get away from this support group part of what LL promoted, as there's so much more to self-care.  I attended one of my fav groups today where this woman in New Mexico with a radio station brings in world music I've never heard. We dance, sometimes in sync with a dancer she has. Ghaelen is her name, and she's one of the groups promoted at Whole Brain Health. This was her last song of the set today:

 

Edited September 11, 2023 by Luna Bliss

[Kathlen Onyx]

5 hours ago, Luna Bliss said:

Yet a few weeks ago you expressed on the forum how you wanted to have a romantic relationship in 2nd life where you could be assured of the person's gender and trust that they were being real with their feelings and description of their life, both 1st and 2nd life.

So how is this different from doing the same thing in a group?

Because I can vet one person.  A whole group? Impossible.  I've been to what you call a "support group" in SL. It was one guy complaining about his SL GF for the whole hour and the next week, the same thing.  It was a total waste of time.

Support groups about RL issues should be attended in RL not a fantasy platform. VERY dangerous.

ETA: I'm sorry if you don't like my opinion but I am allowed to have one even if it's totally the opposite of yours. You really need to accept that more when posting here.

Edited September 11, 2023 by Sam Bellisserian

[Stephanie Misfit]

I joined one large support group in SL a few years ago. It was not a good experience and I am with Sam in agreeing that they are not safe.

[Ingrid Ingersoll]

I'm in the "don't put your real life out there" camp too.  So support groups in sl are a hard no for me. 

I'm.surprised there's any interest in them in sl aside from role playing honestly. Seems incredibly risky.

[Rat Luv]

I agree with Marigold, I would take self-care to mean things like going for a walk in the park or taking a break...nothing serious that requires professional help. 

I would also personally avoid support groups on SL...I can imagine some egomaniacs being attracted to the role of 'counsellor'...and like others have said, you can never really tell who's behind the avatar, or what experience they have (if any! ) or whether they really care about your well-being.

Edited September 11, 2023 by Rat Luv

[Alwin Alcott]

9 hours ago, Sam Bellisserian said:

NO, Second Life is NOT a safe place for these kinds of activities and I wish people would stop promoting it.

most people on the forum who are here a bit longer knows how OP role play posts are (as there's no credential for anything real)
It's bloody annoying for people who see through it, but seemingly, in spite of the danger, not enough to get deleted or forbidden.


 

[Phil Deakins]

12 hours ago, Luna Bliss said:

Most Some people just have difficulty in traversing the passages of life -- some are quite difficult. 

FIFY

[Love Zhaoying]

1 hour ago, Rat Luv said:

egomaniacs being attracted to the role of 'counsellor'

I never really cared for Counselor Troi. Very unprofessional, I caught her flipping me off.

 

 

Edited September 11, 2023 by Love Zhaoying

[Hymn Celestia]

20 hours ago, Love Zhaoying said:

It's no substitute for professional, licensed therapy.

Support groups, and supportive groups, aren't supposed to replace professional licensed therapy   They are supplements only. 

For example, in real life, one can participate in a support group of people who take a particular medicine for a particular chronic thing.  The medicine needs a bit of support-group input sometimes, with unexpected side effects or weird reactions or "has this ever happened to you? is this an emergency?" kind of questions and answers that people with real experience can offer.  The doctors who prescribe the medicine can't always tell a person what to expect from taking it; but people who take the medicine can offer first hand experience with it.  The meds are prescribed and dispensed by professionals, and the experience of taking the meds is supported by other people in the same boat who have been through it.

Therapy on the other hand is a whole different experience and I would agree with you, Love, that I should trust it more if it were done professionally, personally, and face to face.  (or video face to face even, given where we are in the world lately)

And, speaking generally to the topic, I have taken part in both of the above and benefited greatly from them in First and Second Life.  Additionally, I would put D/s "munches" in the category of support group where a group of subs or a group of doms would get together and help each other navigate tricky subjects like "boundaries" or such things; they would be discussion groups technically but they offer great support.  I have participated in some of those in my time also. 

It is my opinion that Second Life is a choice venue for offering or receiving support especially for things that one may not be able to discuss in the First Life -- whether for social constraints or perhaps it's 3 in the morning and nobody but the SL homies are awake and able to offer input.

 

[Hymn Celestia]

15 hours ago, Luna Bliss said:

I agree that 'self care' (including support groups) would not be a substitute for professional, licensed therapy for a person who has a mental illness....but did somebody say it would be?

Most people just have difficulty in traversing the passages of life -- some are quite difficult.  They don't need psychotherapy for some sort of major mental illness. But they do need to take care of themselves in the best way possible, and wherever they can find any needed support.

Exactly.

I'm surprised -- but actually relieved and delighted too -- that nobody thinks of chemotherapy and cancer patients immediately when the idea of "support groups" comes up, especially given the prevalence of RFL in Second Life.  When a person takes chemo, or radiation, or is treated for the sundry cancers generally, in my country one of the first things a doctor will recommend is to join a support group of other people going through it too.  It doesn't (necessarily) require psychotherapy; but it does require support.  "We're going through it too, you can come talk with us."   And the support groups I have found most helpful have been in fact the ones that were virtual; the ones that were type-chat, or message-board chat, or Second Life chat. 

It seems like a no-brainer for me to cheer for virtual support groups but perhaps (and I really hope) that's indicative of the general good health of the rest of this thread, which is fantastic

Edited September 11, 2023 by Lyric Demina