Should I put my real-life gender in my woman avatars' profiles?

[Istelathis]

2 minutes ago, Persephone Emerald said:

Someone on this thread said something about the soul of a person being male or female and how they could presumably tell that from how they present in SL. As someone who believes in reincarnation, I don't think a person's soul is limited in such a way.

So, what if we represent sides of our personality in SL based on past incarnations?

I saw that one as well, and my mind started to wander off trying to think of a reason why a soul would have a gender.  I mean, I guess it could express a gender and take the form of one, but other than that I wouldn't see a reason for it.  But then I started to wonder where baby souls would come from, do souls procreate? 

/me had spent entirely too much time thinking about that post

 

Okay, I gotta step off this thread.  Lack of sleep accompanied by covid is making me a bit sillier than normal.

[Silent Mistwalker]

24 minutes ago, Persephone Emerald said:

Someone on this thread said something about the soul of a person being male or female and how they could presumably tell that from how they present in SL. As someone who believes in reincarnation, I don't think a person's soul is limited in such a way.

So, what if we represent sides of our personality in SL based on past incarnations?

You're getting into the masculine/feminine here and not male/female.

Would we even know that was what we are/were doing?

[Persephone Emerald]

2 minutes ago, Silent Mistwalker said:

You're getting into the masculine/feminine here and not male/female.

Would we even know that was what we are/were doing?

I made a Mongol warrior look for my guy alt because I think that's one of my past incarnations, but after I made it I had no desire to inhabit it. Come to think of it, I've never been much interested in recreating past incarnations in SL. Maybe I'm more interested in who I am now.

[Luna Bliss]

32 minutes ago, Persephone Emerald said:

Someone on this thread said something about the soul of a person being male or female and how they could presumably tell that from how they present in SL. As someone who believes in reincarnation, I don't think a person's soul is limited in such a way.

So, what if we represent sides of our personality in SL based on past incarnations?

There was a new-age spiritual teacher in my town awhile back who asserted that gay people were confusing a past incarnation when they were a different gender, and so a bit confused in this incarnation.  Oh who knows, but I see way too many theories that simply serve to prop up the apparent holiness of heterosexuality.

[Persephone Emerald]

Just now, Luna Bliss said:

There was a new-age spiritual teacher in my town awhile back who asserted that gay people were confusing a past incarnation when they were a different gender, and so a bit confused in this incarnation.  Oh who knows, but I see way too many theories that simply serve to prop up the apparent holiness of heterosexuality.

I think it's more likely that being gay, bi or trans is a reminder that we're not limited to just one gender identity. It's not confusing for me to see parts of my previous male incarnations popping up in my subconcious from time to time. I'm solidly female in this one, and yet also attracted to both men and women in different ways.

The Mongol warrior guy is sometimes disdainful of what he perceives as my weakness in this incarnation, but I also don't want to be that guy anymore.

[Doris Johnsky]

Over the many years of being in SL I have come to the conclusion that how you present yourself in SL is a personal decision.

 

 

 

[TheFlyingSaltire]

If you're seeking a relationship, then I think you should be upfront about it, otherwise I don't see any need to say anything.  I think it was said earlier before, that if anyone feels that they need to ask, then they probably won't believe your answer, whatever it is.

I'm an RL female and I play as either female or as a male to female transsexual and I rarely get anyone asking about who I am in RL.  The one time I did get questioned about my gender or sexual preferences has been on the odd occasion when I have tried to play a male character - I invariably have people ask me if I'm gay (I hasten to add that I have nothing against gays - it's just that I find it to be an amusing reaction).

Basically, my attitude is that this is SL and I am who you see.  I come to SL for dancing and social interaction, not sex or relationships, so who I am in RL is irrelevant.

[QuietEventide]

6 hours ago, TheFlyingSaltire said:

Basically, my attitude is that this is SL and I am who you see.  I come to SL for dancing and social interaction, not sex or relationships, so who I am in RL is irrelevant.

+1 and that goes for the rest of the post too.

I also did not enter SL for sex or relationships, but lately there have been a few 'incidents' that made me feel uneasy. Am I expected to "show my papers" now...? Maybe my avatars went to the wrong SL places, I don't know.
It's a dark and mysterious world... anyway, moving on:

-----------------------------------------------
My female avatar is a regular but ageing cis woman who remembers happier times and tried to recreate those happier times within SL. But, just like in "real life", she is forced to more or less conclude that life has passed her by. She can type well. But she is also be a tiny bit vain. That's my fault - I gave her "vanity" as the main flaw. It's on me.  

Having had the tools to "be beautiful again" (and the flaw of vanity) she has drawn attention from people, mostly male avatars but not exclusively, who:

1) obviously did not read the profile
2) started sending IM's (despite the profile saying open chat preferred)
3) quickly pushed those IM's onto sexual themes that I really did not ask for
4) start interrogating me about my real life (then they get confused when I start telling the truth - because truth is suddenly complex and difficult and it takes time)

-----------------------------------------------
My male avatar is not the type who goes dancing at all. He's not interacting much, he might say "good morning ma'am" if he sits around. Men rarely speak to him. Some women avatars do. He keeps it polite and usually short. If he was looking for sex, he could easily "get some" and he's definitely cis. He would never be with a man.

-----------------------------------------------
As Evie, I've had wonderful chats with people who were "not mainstream". I didn't ask them, they told me. Some were men with feminine souls presenting as women (I've gone shopping with a couple of them, that was fun). A few were women presenting as men, there was the occasional "shemale" or "femboy" etc.

Most people have been wonderful, make no mistake. I have learned so much. Very grateful.

-----------------------------------------------
I made that "body vs soul" post. My (personal) belief is that a body has parts but a soul is infinite and can take any form. Reincarnation may play a part there, we don't know. In SL, we can leave the RL body behind, outside the PC screen, and maybe some of us take the journey into the soul a bit further than others.

You are a soul (infinite)
You have a body (with limitations)

SL gives you the tools to paint your soul. There are infinitely more colours than simply "male/masculine" and "female/feminine".
Using only those two colours is like painting your soul in black and white. The picture below is the best colour painting I have of Evie's soul. She's probably writing a poem. Maybe lyrics for her next song. Maybe it's her memoirs - the story of her life. Everything intertwines into everything else. Worlds merge...

-------------------------------------
Here's a quote I like (CS Lewis, from "The Magician's Nephew"):
Make your choice, adventurous Stranger,
Strike the bell and bide the danger,
Or wonder, till it drives you mad,
What would have followed if you had.

-------------------------------------
I'm old and I'm tired...
My beautiful Evie has been travelling enough.
I'm taking her home.

Edited August 22, 2023 by QuietEventide

[Kalegthepsionicist]

19 hours ago, Rowan Amore said:

 

Men's masculinity is, oddly enough, a delicate thing.  If they feel someone has undermined their masculinity, they may get angry.   I don't know too many women who worry about how anyone perceives their femininity.

I don't think it is masculinity, that is insecure about their masculinity.

the different between boy and man

Edited August 22, 2023 by Kalegthepsionicist

[BilliJo Aldrin]

1 hour ago, QuietEventide said:

+1 and that goes for the rest of the post too.

I also did not enter SL for sex or relationships, but lately there have been a few 'incidents' that made me feel uneasy. Am I expected to "show my papers" now...? Maybe my avatars went to the wrong SL places, I don't know.
It's a dark and mysterious world... anyway, moving on:

-----------------------------------------------
My female avatar is a regular but ageing cis woman who remembers happier times and tried to recreate those happier times within SL. But, just like in "real life", she is forced to more or less conclude that life has passed her by. She can type well. But she is also be a tiny bit vain. That's my fault - I gave her "vanity" as the main flaw. It's on me.  

Having had the tools to "be beautiful again" (and the flaw of vanity) she has drawn attention from people, mostly male avatars but not exclusively, who:

1) obviously did not read the profile
2) started sending IM's (despite the profile saying open chat preferred)
3) quickly pushed those IM's onto sexual themes that I really did not ask for
4) start interrogating me about my real life (then they get confused when I start telling the truth - because truth is suddenly complex and difficult and it takes time)

-----------------------------------------------
My male avatar is not the type who goes dancing at all. He's not interacting much, he might say "good morning ma'am" if he sits around. Men rarely speak to him. Some women avatars do. He keeps it polite and usually short. If he was looking for sex, he could easily "get some" and he's definitely cis. He would never be with a man.

-----------------------------------------------
As Evie, I've had wonderful chats with people who were "not mainstream". I didn't ask them, they told me. Some were men with feminine souls presenting as women (I've gone shopping with a couple of them, that was fun). A few were women presenting as men, there was the occasional "shemale" or "femboy" etc.

Most people have been wonderful, make no mistake. I have learned so much. Very grateful.

-----------------------------------------------
I made that "body vs soul" post. My (personal) belief is that a body has parts but a soul is infinite and can take any form. Reincarnation may play a part there, we don't know. In SL, we can leave the RL body behind, outside the PC screen, and maybe some of us take the journey into the soul a bit further than others.

You are a soul (infinite)
You have a body (with limitations)

SL gives you the tools to paint your soul. There are infinitely more colours than simply "male/masculine" and "female/feminine".
Using only those two colours is like painting your soul in black and white. The picture below is the best colour painting I have of Evie's soul. She's probably writing a poem. Maybe lyrics for her next song. Maybe it's her memoirs - the story of her life.

-------------------------------------
Here's a quote I like (CS Lewis, from "The Magician's Nephew"):
Make your choice, adventurous Stranger,
Strike the bell and bide the danger,
Or wonder, till it drives you mad,
What would have followed if you had.

-------------------------------------
I'm old and I'm tired...
My beautiful Evie has been travelling enough.
I'm taking her home.

Beautiful post, you captured the essence and purpose of second life perfectly.

You have to live your second life as you see best, as we all do.

So, tell nothing but the truth, tell nothing at all, or tell nothing but lies, its YOUR second life.

And for all those guys (or girls) that feel deceived, you can all just eff off and go join Tinder, or whatever the popular dating app is these days.

No one here owes you anything, especially the truth.

 

[Kalegthepsionicist]

just be smart and dont trust illusion .

idc whatbpeople want to be, since avatar appearance does not matter for me.

if i dont know someone rl I even not bother to know it. there are acquintances and there are friend this two base on how I know them. And be pushy to know people is immature. I come and go, walk where I want, but for sure friend are priority than acquintances.

[Phil Deakins]

1 hour ago, BilliJo Aldrin said:

So, tell nothing but the truth, tell nothing at all, or tell nothing but lies, its YOUR second life.

And for all those guys (or girls) that feel deceived, you can all just eff off and go join Tinder, or whatever the popular dating app is these days.

No one here owes you anything, especially the truth.

Make up your mind. You want it both ways.

Either it's my Second Life, in which case I am free to feel deceived if that's what I choose, or I can "eff off and go join Tinder" because it's not my Second Life.

Nice try, but you can't have it both ways.

Edited August 22, 2023 by Phil Deakins

[Cinos Field]

Only time your RL gender is relevant in SL is if you're looking for RL relationships.

Edited August 22, 2023 by Cinos Field

[Kalegthepsionicist]

12 hours ago, Persephone Emerald said:

Someone on this thread said something about the soul of a person being male or female and how they could presumably tell that from how they present in SL. As someone who believes in reincarnation, I don't think a person's soul is limited in such a way.

So, what if we represent sides of our personality in SL based on past incarnations?

d you know who you are in the past ?

you and your past is not connected. unless you are special in the past, person with supranatural ability

Edited August 22, 2023 by Kalegthepsionicist

[Kalegthepsionicist]

11 hours ago, Luna Bliss said:

There was a new-age spiritual teacher in my town awhile back who asserted that gay people were confusing a past incarnation when they were a different gender, and so a bit confused in this incarnation.  Oh who knows, but I see way too many theories that simply serve to prop up the apparent holiness of heterosexuality.

new age spiritualist often made up naything by mixed things.

they just seek follower

Edited August 22, 2023 by Kalegthepsionicist

[Theresa Tennyson]

1 hour ago, Phil Deakins said:

Make up your mind. You want it both ways.

Either it's my Second Life, in which case I am free to feel deceived if that's what I choose, or I can "eff off and go join Tinder" because it's not my Second Life.

Nice try, but you can't have it both ways.

So, you're saying that it's not "your Second Life" if other people don't do what you want them to?

[Phil Deakins]

14 minutes ago, Theresa Tennyson said:

So, you're saying that it's not "your Second Life" if other people don't do what you want them to?

No. I'm saying exactly the opposite - that everyone has his/her own Second Life, and nobody needs to "eff off and go join Tinder" because they don't share BilliJo Aldrin's view of Second Life.

First she said that "its YOUR second life" and followed it by saying that all those who have a particular Second Life that they choose can "eff off and go join Tinder".

In the space of a few lines she totally contradicted herself. That's what I pointed out.

Edited August 22, 2023 by Phil Deakins

[Theresa Tennyson]

7 minutes ago, Phil Deakins said:

No. I'm saying exactly the opposite - that everyone has his/her own Second Life, and nobody needs to "eff off and go join Tinder" because they don't share BilliJo Aldrin's view of Second Life.

First she said that "its YOUR second life" and followed it by saying that all those who have a particular Second Life that they choose can "eff off and go join Tinder" .

I'd say that the intention was to say that if someone was offended with how Second Life worked they had the option to leave Second Life rather than to stay and remain in an offended state.

Of course, that's a misinterpretation of how many people choose to live their lives - I'd say that a sizable group of people in Second Life, just as in the larger world, choose to go through life surrounded by a cloud of righteous indignation and show every indication of liking it that way.

[Phil Deakins]

11 minutes ago, Theresa Tennyson said:

I'd say that the intention was to say that if someone was offended with how Second Life worked they had the option to leave Second Life rather than to stay and remain in an offended state.

Then that's what she should have said, but she didn't, so it wasn't her intention. She didn't mention anything about how Second Life works. She only talked about how people in Second Life think, first telling us that it's our Second Life, and then telling us, rather crudely, that if we choose to think a certain way (that's different to her way of thinking), we can eff off and go to Tinder.

Edited August 22, 2023 by Phil Deakins

[Theresa Tennyson]

1 minute ago, Phil Deakins said:

Then that's what she should have said, but she didn't, so wasn't her intention.

Theresa Tennyson murmurs to herself, "Not the way 'intention' WOOOOrrrkkkkssss....

[Love Zhaoying]

19 minutes ago, Theresa Tennyson said:

22 minutes ago, Phil Deakins said:

Then that's what she should have said, but she didn't, so wasn't her intention.

Theresa Tennyson murmurs to herself, "Not the way 'intention' WOOOOrrrkkkkssss....

But it was IMPLIED!!!! lulz

..is joke!

Edited August 22, 2023 by Love Zhaoying

[Kathlen Onyx]

3 hours ago, BilliJo Aldrin said:

And for all those guys (or girls) that feel deceived, you can all just eff off and go join Tinder, or whatever the popular dating app is these days.

No one here owes you anything, especially the truth.

 

This is why I have one close friend in SL and that's it.  What a very sad attitude to have.

[Katherine Heartsong]

17 hours ago, Scylla Rhiadra said:

One of the assumptions being made here is that "representing who one is" in RL means replicating biological sex.

Someone who is AMAB in RL, and retains the physical sexual characteristics of a male of the species may, in fact, be expressing a truth about themselves if they represent as a biological woman in SL. That's most obviously true of those who are trans, but I think it's likely true of cis people who represent in SL as a different biological sex as well: a man or woman who is representing here as the opposite sex may well -- in fact, I'd argue almost certainly is -- articulating something very real about themselves through that representation even if they are cishet.

I'm sure there are exceptions (e.g., straight RL men who enjoy lesbian porn), but I work under the assumption that everyone here is expressing something authentic about themselves in SL, if only because they are doing so because there is something about that representation that appeals to them at some level or another.

I think all of this talk about "deception" is not merely a red herring, but actually somewhat worrisome. If you need to know that the SL woman you're having sex with is possesses female genitalia in RL, then you simply have a particular requirement or preference in your partners (like "I only like red heads" or "my partners need to be literate and articulate"). And yes, you should articulate that, and even require that of potential partners. And they should equally have the right to say "Sorry, I'm not going to prove that" without being crapped on for declining.

People represent as they do here for reasons that need have nothing to do with "deception." We need to accept that everyone here is being authentic to who they are in some way or another. Someone whose approach to SL doesn't mesh with yours isn't be "deceptive" -- they're just doing their own thing, as they have every right to.

Once again you've said everything I needed to say much more articulately than I could have. Thank you!

[Theresa Tennyson]

9 minutes ago, Sam1 Bellisserian said:

This is why I have one close friend in SL and that's it.  What a very sad attitude to have.

Is that because nobody else met your standards for them?

[Love Zhaoying]

1 hour ago, Phil Deakins said:

In the space of a few lines she totally contradicted herself.

..that's being generous!