superpeeve Oh my Gawd! - Totally unOfficial Pet Peeve Thread.

[Rowan Amore]

I don't have any trouble making friends in SL.  I just don't put them on my list.  I have Reject all Friend Requests turned on, too.   If I see friends out and about at the places I frequent, I'll say hello.  Very few people have my cell phone number in RL for this same reason.

I'm here to entertain myself, not anyone else.  

[Persephone Emerald]

@Cinnamon Mistwood

One imperfect solution is to uncheck the box that lets your friends see when you're inworld. I,'ve done this with several people who I just don't feel like talking with, mostly because I have RL issues I don't want to discuss with them, but also for a couple guys who are just horn dogs.

This is an imperfect solution because if your post in a group that your friend is also in, they'll know you're inworld an wonder why you didn't show up on their list as being inworld. Some people resent being "ghosted" like this, but others understand because they're introverts themselves.

Edited August 16, 2023 by Persephone Emerald

[Rowan Amore]

3 minutes ago, Persephone Emerald said:

@Cinnamon Mistwood

One imperfect solution is to uncheck the box that lets your friends see when you're inworld. I don't this with several people who I just don't feel like talking with, mostly because I have RL issues I don't want to discuss with them, but also for a couple guys who are just horn dogs.

This is an imperfect solution because if your post in a group that your friend is also in, they'll know you're inworld an wonder why you didn't show up on their list as being inworld. Some people resent being "ghosted" like this, but others understand because they're introverts themselves.

Friends showing as online/offline is still kind of broken so you can always use that as an excuse.  😁

[Persephone Emerald]

5 minutes ago, Rowan Amore said:

Friends showing as online/offline is still kind of broken so you can always use that as an excuse.  😁

I do let them assume it's an SL glitch if I get caught.

[Scylla Rhiadra]

2 hours ago, Cinnamon Mistwood said:

*Sighs heavily*

I've been spending less and less time on my main account and less time here in the forums, as well.  I've taken a huge step back and taken to alts just to have time by myself.  I miss the uncomplicated early days of my SL before I made so many friends that I can't log on and just play anymore.  Seems like a weird thing to be peeved about... too many friends, too many activities, stretched way too thin during my limited time inworld.

Why are there so many lonely people inworld?  People who need to hear a kind word, just be accepted for who they are, or need support in some way. 

To those who say they can't make any friends inworld, have you tried just being nice?

Why is being kind taken as an invitation for something more?  Like entitlement to my time.  Away messages no longer work since so many think the message doesn't apply to them.  I suppose I should clear out my friends list.  Logically I know I am not responsible for other peoples feelings or need for companionship, but after a friendship is created, I feel the need to foster it or be there when someone needs a friend.  I can't do it anymore.  Being greeted by 8 IMs everytime I log in, all asking for my time, is actually stressful.

So, yes, I've been hiding inworld on alts and missing my main account.  A lot.

Peeved: feeling stuck and in mourning for simplicity, peace, and quiet. I want to just explore and play without feeling guilty.

Peeve: I can't seem to disconnect from wanting to be there for everyone.  I have been on alts for about 2 weeks and noticed one was falling right back into making friends and being "nice" to people.  I am my own worst enemy.

I totally get this, like many others here obviously do as well. It's one reason I almost never initiate friend requests. I've got far too many already. Although I will usually accept them.

I have been considering simply hiding my online status -- something I've done before.

I am not unfriendly at all; on the contrary, I'm pretty damned chatty. But I hate feeling at the beck and call of anyone. It's why I resisted getting a cell phone for such a long time.

[Ceka Cianci]

24 minutes ago, Rowan Amore said:

I don't have any trouble making friends in SL.  I just don't put them on my list.  I have Reject all Friend Requests turned on, too.   If I see friends out and about at the places I frequent, I'll say hello.  Very few people have my cell phone number in RL for this same reason.

I'm here to entertain myself, not anyone else.  

I tell people that I don't know my cell phone number, that I never really took the time to remember it.. You'd actually have to ask my husband  what my number is.. He knows it  pretty well and I know his.. hehehe

I honestly just don't use it all that much.. Anyone that has ever called me usually got my number from my husband.. hehehe

[Istelathis]

3 minutes ago, Ceka Cianci said:

I honestly just don't use it all that much.

You mean these things can make phone calls?  Sheesh, the wonders of modern innovation!  🤣  I mostly just use mine to play around on the Internet when I am away from my computer, it is great for GPS, taking pictures, and watching movies from.

Most of the calls I get are spam, although once someone spoofed my phone number, and it was such a joy to get threatening phone calls from strangers as well as text messages.  For some reason, it is completely legal in the US to spoof people's phone numbers, and leave them to be recipients of a lot of hate from strangers.  I guess it is a big thing for robocalls, especially when it comes to election time.

[Silent Mistwalker]

3 minutes ago, Istelathis said:

once someone spoofed my phone number,

I had an idiot spoof my number and then call me. Like I'm not going to recognize my home number on the caller ID. 🙄

[Ceka Cianci]

2 minutes ago, Istelathis said:

You mean these things can make phone calls?  Sheesh, the wonders of modern innovation!  🤣  I mostly just use mine to play around on the Internet when I am away from my computer, it is great for GPS, taking pictures, and watching movies from.

Most of the calls I get are spam, although once someone spoofed my phone number, and it was such a joy to get threatening phone calls from strangers as well as text messages.  For some reason, it is completely legal in the US to spoof people's phone numbers, and leave them to be recipients of a lot of hate from strangers.  I guess it is a big thing for robocalls, especially when it comes to election time.

I have people on my contact list.. If it's not any of them, I don't even bother answering because it's mostly spam..

I have Mahjong on my phone for things like sitting and waiting in like a waiting room or something..

I might look at the forums if I have time to kill during the day at work.. But for the most part, I usually just leave it in my purse even after I get home from work.. It's mostly just a phone with the ringer turned off because of spam calls..

[Scylla Rhiadra]

And so, it is once again time for me to gripe about the apparently utterly ineffectual so-called "Governance Team" that deals with in-world abuse reports.

For roughly the 6th time in the past 3 or 4 years, my parcel, and my group's, has been griefed by same guy. He's got a nearly 14 year old account: this isn't some throw-away avi he's using. And I've reported him before: he's littered one of my old parcels with self-replicating objects, surrounded it on abandoned land with insulting signs, and, most recently, been rezzing huge cubes with insulting messages on the adjoining SLRR land, and pushing it across into my land so it blocks entry into my parcel, as well as taking up most of the ground level.

So, seriously: this is utterly obvious griefing. This isn't some guy encroaching on my land with his flower bed: he's planting a HUGE cube with texts like "Communists are boring" on my land.

How many times does he get to do this before Governance actually does something? Is he a buddy of someone in LL, or what?

[Love Zhaoying]

6 hours ago, Rowan Amore said:

I'm here to entertain myself, not anyone else.  

And yet, I am vastly entertained by you right here! ❤️

 

[Love Zhaoying]

10 minutes ago, Scylla Rhiadra said:

And so, it is once again time for me to gripe about the apparently utterly ineffectual so-called "Governance Team" that deals with in-world abuse reports.

For roughly the 6th time in the past 3 or 4 years, my parcel, and my group's, has been griefed by same guy. He's got a nearly 14 year old account: this isn't some throw-away avi he's using. And I've reported him before: he's littered one of my old parcels with self-replicating objects, surrounded it on abandoned land with insulting signs, and, most recently, been rezzing huge cubes with insulting messages on the adjoining SLRR land, and pushing it across into my land so it blocks entry into my parcel, as well as taking up most of the ground level.

So, seriously: this is utterly obvious griefing. This isn't some guy encroaching on my land with his flower bed: he's planting a HUGE cube with texts like "Communists are boring" on my land.

How many times does he get to do this before Governance actually does something? Is he a buddy of someone in LL, or what?

Peeve: If it's Governance's job to enforce this, then..Governance is weak.

[Love Zhaoying]

6 hours ago, Persephone Emerald said:

@Cinnamon Mistwood

One imperfect solution is to uncheck the box that lets your friends see when you're inworld. I,'ve done this with several people who I just don't feel like talking with, mostly because I have RL issues I don't want to discuss with them, but also for a couple guys who are just horn dogs.

This is an imperfect solution because if your post in a group that your friend is also in, they'll know you're inworld an wonder why you didn't show up on their list as being inworld. Some people resent being "ghosted" like this, but others understand because they're introverts themselves.

I use the "uncheck" feature a lot on older "friends" who I'd rather just not hear from, and newer friends who I may regret accepting friendship. They can get over it, if they ever find out.

[Istelathis]

24 minutes ago, Love Zhaoying said:

Peeve: If it's Governance's job to enforce this, then..Governance is weak.

After we take out Anubis, we should form a raid party and go after the Governance!  I say we appoint Scylla in a position of power   I can't be trusted with such authority.

 

 

 

 

[QuietEventide]

7 hours ago, Scylla Rhiadra said:

Why is being kind taken as an invitation for something more?  Like entitlement to my time.  Away messages no longer work since so many think the message doesn't apply to them.  I suppose I should clear out my friends list.  Logically I know I am not responsible for other peoples feelings or need for companionship, but after a friendship is created, I feel the need to foster it or be there when someone needs a friend.  I can't do it anymore.  Being greeted by 8 IMs everytime I log in, all asking for my time, is actually stressful.

This.

As for friendships, if I did accept them I also felt the need to "be there".
To do the "responsible thing", somehow.
The IM's within 30 seconds from logging on ... yes, can relate.

The post describes the main reason why I finally did clear out the friends list.
And stopped visiting most hangouts...
And frequently logged off again...

In a way it's a pity because I enjoyed open chat.
But, I can't give away what I do not have.

[Scylla Rhiadra]

2 hours ago, Love Zhaoying said:

Peeve: If it's Governance's job to enforce this, then..Governance is weak.

What I don't get is . . .

. . . this guy has like one visible group. It's one of those stupid Libertarian Techno-anarchist / Hactivist groups that were so big like 12 years ago or so. Very Woodbury U, with a right wing flavour.

The guy griefs me regularly -- I'm sure I'm a favourite target, but I'd lay money that I'm not the only one. And I'd also bet he's been doing it for the better part of his 13 years in SL.

So, like, for real: what exactly do you have to do to get permabanned for griefing? Cuz apparently targeting the same person over and over again ain't sufficient.

Or is this guy a "special case" with some kind of immunity for some reason?

 

ETA: Forgot to mention, he came by on an alt to watch the fun. I was on my sky platform, and got an IM from a three month old avatar with an unpronounceable name on the ground level of the parcel, wishing me a "Happy SL." I greeted him back . . . and noticed after a couple of minutes that he was still hanging around down below, which made me immediately suspicious. So I opened my Land dialog to check "Objects," and . . . there it was. He sped off when I TPed down.

What's weird is that he didn't use the alt to do the griefing. He used his 13-year old account. The object belonged to the oldster, not the new account.

It's like he feels he's got some kind of protection or immunity.

Edited August 16, 2023 by Scylla Rhiadra

[Scylla Rhiadra]

1 hour ago, Istelathis said:

After we take out Anubis, we should form a raid party and go after the Governance!  I say we appoint Scylla in a position of power

I'm in, but I don't want "power."

I just want to nuke one particular account, and then, like the emperor Diocletian, retire to grow cabbages quietly on my own parcel.

ETA: Extracted from the email I've received from LL.

"We know that you are eager to continue to enjoy your time in Second Life, but that you might also be curious about what will happen as a result of this report. Rest assured that our skilled team of Governance Lindens will give it a complete and thorough review."

/me snorts derisively

Edited August 16, 2023 by Scylla Rhiadra

[QuietEventide]

20 minutes ago, Scylla Rhiadra said:

The guy griefs me regularly -- I'm sure I'm a favourite target, but I'd lay money that I'm not the only one. And I'd also bet he's been doing it for the better part of his 13 years in SL.

I seriously don't understand why some people just cannot leave others alone.
It is beyond my comprehension.
I feel for you, I really do.

[Scylla Rhiadra]

4 minutes ago, QuietEventide said:

I seriously don't understand why some people just cannot leave others alone.
It is beyond my comprehension.
I feel for you, I really do.

Thanks Quiet, that's lovely and appreciated. ❤️

Truthfully, this guy is an annoyance more than anything else. While he has griefed the parcel when I was away, and so wasn't around to fix it for a few days, I know people who have undergone much worse.

I just don't understand why he's permitted to just keep on doing it, without any apparent fear of retribution.

 

ETA: And as to the why . . . I don't get that either. But it was a whole culture some time ago, and there are still some remnants of it. People here will remember groups like Woodbury U, the Patriotic N******, and The Wrong Hands. On the one hand, they pretended they were being very edgy and subversive, and undercutting the Establishment "normies." On the other, they just thought it was a gas.

Like this guy sending in an alt to watch. He may kid himself that he was striking a righteous blow against wicked and vile Lefties, but mostly, this is his idea of having a good time.

Which says rather a lot about him, I think.

Edited August 16, 2023 by Scylla Rhiadra

[QuietEventide]

It might be "political".
You mentioned this guy was a libertarian something.
If your views are somewhere on the other side of the spectrum, that might trigger him somehow.
I'm just guessing - don't want to speculate too much.

Differing political views is obviously not an excuse for bad behaviour. 

---------------------------------------------------
If this was me I'd probably put up a "ground level skybox" and simply block off his parcel with some nice background image so I couldn't see his place at all. Depends on how big your parcel is.
I had a 4096sqm place once where I had a ground level skybox. I think 4096 is probably the minimum for a good result.

Looking "from the outside in", my skybox was transparent (neighbours could see the place fine, but my avatars were never visible to avatars on neighbouring parcels). Being "inside the skybox", I had a beautiful mountain panorama which blended in with the hedges & trees around the edges of the parcel. I never saw the neighbours and I don't think they ever saw me.

Edited August 16, 2023 by QuietEventide

[Scylla Rhiadra]

9 minutes ago, QuietEventide said:

It might be "political".
You mentioned this guy was a libertarian something.
If your views are somewhere on the other side of the spectrum, that might trigger him somehow.
I'm just guessing - don't want to speculate too much.

Differing political views is obviously not an excuse for bad behaviour. 

Oh, I don't think there's any question that I'm being targeted because of my politics. He's not, I'd imagine, griefing random residences or parcels: I'm sure he's choosing ones belonging to people whose politics he dislikes.

The thing is, of course, that he's not actually achieving anything.  He's not "making an argument" or "proving" me "wrong," or even making much of a statement. HE drew my attention to the griefing, quiet deliberately, by sending along his alt, IMing me, and hanging out to watch. Had he not done that, his object -- which had a giant American flag on it, btw, because "patriotism" I guess -- probably would still be there, in view of anyone on the SLRR and neighbouring parcels. He wanted me to see it -- and was impatient that I hadn't yet.

My politics is why he's coming after me, without question, but his motivation is the pleasure he gets from the harassment.

Edited August 16, 2023 by Scylla Rhiadra

[Sid Nagy]

.

Edited August 16, 2023 by Sid Nagy

[Persephone Emerald]

4 hours ago, Scylla Rhiadra said:

For roughly the 6th time in the past 3 or 4 years, my parcel, and my group's, has been griefed by same guy. He's got a nearly 14 year old account: this isn't some throw-away avi he's using. And I've reported him before: he's littered one of my old parcels with self-replicating objects, surrounded it on abandoned land with insulting signs, and, most recently, been rezzing huge cubes with insulting messages on the adjoining SLRR land, and pushing it across into my land so it blocks entry into my parcel, as well as taking up most of the ground level.

So, seriously: this is utterly obvious griefing. This isn't some guy encroaching on my land with his flower bed: he's planting a HUGE cube with texts like "Communists are boring" on my land.

Have you blocked Object Entry on your parcel? Doing so should prevent him from pushing objects into your parcel, but wouldn't prevent people from riding vehicles or horses through it.

Send me your parcel SLURL and this guy's account names inworld, so I can report him too. Multiple reports should get the attention of Governance faster.

As well as reporting him, there might be some other actions we can try, though we don't need to discuss these in the forums.

I think you're probably correct that he gets pleasure from thinking he's more powerful than you and that he's able to hurt you. You may represent something to him subconsciously that he's not even aware of. I had one housemate who admitted to being a kind of online forum troll, who thought he was smart, but his real life was a mess. These kinds of people probably have self esteem issues that they try to address by putting down and hurting other people.

[Orwar]

   Peeve: when the maid empties the dishwasher and she's gone and put the teaspoons with the dessert spoons. The chaos! The anarchy! 

[kali Wylder]

13 hours ago, Persephone Emerald said:

@Cinnamon Mistwood

One imperfect solution is to uncheck the box that lets your friends see when you're inworld. I,'ve done this with several people who I just don't feel like talking with, mostly because I have RL issues I don't want to discuss with them, but also for a couple guys who are just horn dogs.

This is an imperfect solution because if your post in a group that your friend is also in, they'll know you're inworld an wonder why you didn't show up on their list as being inworld. Some people resent being "ghosted" like this, but others understand because they're introverts themselves.

I was just going to mention the same thing when I saw this.  Fellow introvert here.