To AR Is Human . . .

[Silent Mistwalker]

12 minutes ago, LittleMe Jewell said:

using it as a means to help me walk away. 

I do this as well. Some end up being more long term than others (on the forum) and a few are permanent. It's no big deal really since I know I can always peek. I mostly don't peek. It largely depends on the topic, what has been previously posted and yes, who is doing the posting, so it isn't based on just the individual I've walked away from.

[Scylla Rhiadra]

16 minutes ago, Love Zhaoying said:

If someone's posts indicate a potential crisis - mental health or otherwise. 

For example, if their tone and words are "threatening", with cursing, (uncharacteristically if a familiar poster) poor grammar, spelling, choice of words..

I will assume that person may be in "crisis", and I will report their post - hoping that for their own future benefit, the posts do not remain so as to cause them embarrassment.

That's one example of when I will AR a post.

I don't know how effective that is likely to be, but I understand the sentiment and applaud the intention. I've certainly watched in horror as posters have had very public and visible meltdowns here. Maybe forcing them away from the forums for a spell can be beneficial? I'm not sure.

17 minutes ago, Love Zhaoying said:

If I can tell someone is intentionally derailing a thread which I am engaged in, I also may AR a post.

I don't do this, possibly because I think that derailing can sometimes be constructive and interesting. But I take your point that sometimes the intent is simply to shut a thread down. The best way to deal with that, I think myself, is to avoid feeding the trolls.

[Scylla Rhiadra]

14 minutes ago, Rowan Amore said:

One tends to blame a 'hive mind', cartel, cabal, yada yada, when they're opinion/post is just dislike by so many people.  It's what people do.  "It's not me it's them!"  " No one likes me! "

It's like those people with a pick to Haters in their profile.  Ever think about WHY you seem to have haters?

Yes!

14 minutes ago, Rowan Amore said:

I don't report posts I disagree with.  Isn't the debate the point?  Why would I, or anyone for that matter, silence the other side.  Now, if they're posting personal attacks (sorry, guilt a few times of that) or something truly offensive, sure I'll AR.

Again, yes! Exactly!!!! I don't want this place to become an echo chamber of like-minded souls. Nor do I want to be a Stepford Wife.

15 minutes ago, Rowan Amore said:

They continued inworld with some offlines.

Damn, Rowan. I'm so sorry. UGH.

[Kiera Clutterbuck]

It's human nature to give those we like more leeway and feel less inclined to report them (if at all).  So this is something to watch out for, if one cares about fairness.  I'd be suspicious of myself if I felt the need to report someone I disliked or had major differences of opinion with.

 

[Madelaine McMasters]

58 minutes ago, Scylla Rhiadra said:

1 hour ago, Rowan Amore said:

It's a cabal to be more accurate.  😁

Well, yes! And even more sinister, a cartel!!

Bwahahahah (*cue lightning and thunder *)

One of the things we might do here is help dispel that toxic and inaccurate little fiction.

First you impugn my demonosity, now you attempt to dispel belief in the FIC? Put down that bottle, Scylla.

35 minutes ago, LittleMe Jewell said:

Shhhh - We do not talk about the FIC

Someone's got my back.

Thank you, Li'l.

Edited July 10, 2022 by Madelaine McMasters

[Silent Mistwalker]

4 minutes ago, Scylla Rhiadra said:

Maybe forcing them away from the forums for a spell can be beneficial? I'm not sure.

For most people, a time out to cool down works quite well. For most people. Five to ten minutes on average. Some topics may require longer cool down periods. It does work.

[Love Zhaoying]

1 hour ago, Scylla Rhiadra said:

 

One of the things we might do here is help dispel that toxic and inaccurate little fiction.

I think some people are going to believe no matter what..or pretend to believe.

[Madelaine McMasters]

1 minute ago, Love Zhaoying said:

I think some people are going to believe no matter what..or pretend to believe.

I'm counting on it.

[Love Zhaoying]

"Welcome to the Forum Cartel!

How may we mock..I mean hurt..I mean HELP you today?"

[Scylla Rhiadra]

47 minutes ago, LittleMe Jewell said:

For Bellisseria, I will AR anything that is against the Covenant.  My take on it is that most people like Bellisseria specifically because of the Covenant and that is one thing that LL should enforce.

That's an interesting distinction, and I think a good one. One of the appeals of Belli is, I think, precisely that it is well-run and policed.

The mainland does tend to appeal more to the "wild west" mentality. I prefer it myself, but not necessarily for those reasons. But I think that these two different approaches make really good sense, in the context of the expectations of the communities likely to be found in each. That's sort of what I meant by "community policing": applying a community's own collective standards and expectations.

[Kiera Clutterbuck]

1 hour ago, Scylla Rhiadra said:

Well, yes! And even more sinister, a cartel!!

Bwahahahah (*cue lightning and thunder *)

One of the things we might do here is help dispel that toxic and inaccurate little fiction.

I don't think it's inaccurate, though thankfully I don't see it manifesting much at all here recently. But I've been in many forums, and studied Sociology, and in all groups a kind of "in-group" forms,  usually just the posters who post more often, and while not usually malicious they are often suspicious of outsiders and don't treat them as well as they do the "in-group".  I always try to tread lightly on the new person as they are at a disadvantage due to their unfamiliarity with a new environment.

[Paul Hexem]

Speaking as someone often villainized by both sides of a debate (depending on where I am), I try to give everyone the benefit of the doubt. I'll only ever report a post that's in clear, obvious violation of a forum rule.

Although even in that I may start hesitating, as I thought the naming and shaming rule was pretty black and white, which doesn't seem to be the case.

As for in world, I'll only ever mute spamming devices, and only ever AR problems that can't be fixed with the provided tools (mute, ban, derender) such as an object blocking a Linden road or waterway.

Edited July 10, 2022 by Paul Hexem

[Scylla Rhiadra]

Just now, Kiera Clutterbuck said:

I don't think it's inaccurate, though thankfully I don't see it manifesting much at all here recently. But I've been in many forums, and studied Sociology, and in all groups a kind of "in-group" forms,  usually just the posters who post more often, and while not usually malicious they are often suspicious of outsiders and don't treat them as well as they do the "in-group".  I always try to tread lightly on the new person as they are at a disadvantage due to their unfamiliarity with a new environment.

I think there are definitely "coteries" or "in-groups" here: they exist, almost invariably, in any larger community, just as you suggest.

But there's a difference between informal groupings of people who feel simpatico, so to speak, and "cabals" that work consciously together to exclude. The FIC is a fictional version of the latter.

We have had, in the past, some rather nasty "in-groups," of the "mean girls" variety. But they're not really in evidence anymore, and I haven't seen any instances of anything like the FIC here. (Or, if I have, I'm not saying so to anyone who doesn't know the secret handshake.)

[Madelaine McMasters]

I'll AR spam and egregious violations of the ToS in the forums. I think I have filed only one AR in-world over my 14+ years here. That was for an annoying death threat from someone I presumed was drunk. I've never blocked/ignored a forumite. I generally block only objects in-world and clear the block list every few months.

4 minutes ago, Love Zhaoying said:

"Welcome to the Forum Cartel!

How may we mock..I mean hurt..I mean HELP you today?"

I've said this many times before, but we are usually our own worst enemies. Most disagreeable people eventually recognize their own self immolation, so I generally just wait them out (yeah, sometimes I help them out). That frees me to set fire to those who really deserve it, the people I like.

[Love Zhaoying]

I try not to AR people for "edgy humor", unless they're just being obviously political. Poking. 

[Sid Nagy]

If you want to speak as free as possible on the forums and live as free as possible in SL, allow others to do the same.
So I really seldom AR something or somebody.

[Love Zhaoying]

From this great discussion, maybe we can come up with positive ways to coddle, I mean reassure those who think we are "bullying" them / "ganging up on them"? I'm not sure if they're afraid they are also being AR'd. Which obviously most of us don't do;  just because we see a train wreck and try to assist the survivors, doesn't mean we have to be the ones to call the Popo.

[Rolig Loon]

I believe in the value of time outs.  In fact, I believe in them enough that I give them to myself frequently.  My own personal rules are (1) Don't post while you are angry or upset, (2) Take time to choose your words carefully, and then delay a bit before posting, and (3) Don't put anything in writing that you would be unwilling to say in person if the situation arose.   Those rules serve me pretty well, although I keep finding ways to weasel around them (and then usually regret doing it).  When I find that I am having a hard time following my own rules, it's time to take a break.  I remember the old toxic times here in the GD forum, years ago.  They were toxic enough that I took a break from this end of the forums for a few years.  On the plus side, they did help me formulate those personal rules.  I am much calmer these days.  🤪

I have trouble translating my personal rules into a guide for when I ought to report a forum post, so I very rarely report anything except things that are clearly posted in the wrong place or things that are so egregiously offensive that I think the poster (and the rest of us) would benefit from a timeout.  I'm willing to bet that the few times I have reported a nasty troll, he has already been reported by a dozen other people.

Edited July 10, 2022 by Rolig Loon
Cleaner wording

[Silent Mistwalker]

3 minutes ago, Rolig Loon said:

I believe in the value of time outs.  In fact, I believe in them enough that I give them to myself frequently.  My own personal rules are (1) Don't post while you are angry or upset, (2) Take time to choose your words carefully, and then delay a bit before posting, and (3) Don't put anything in writing that you would be unwilling to say in person if the situation arose.   Those rules serve me pretty well, although I keep finding ways to weasel around them (and then usually regret doing it).  When I find that I am having a hard time following my own rules, it's time to take a break.  I remember the old toxic times here in the GD forum, years ago.  They were toxic enough that I took a break for a few years.  On the plus side, they did help me formulate those personal rules.  I am much calmer these days.  🤪

I have trouble translating my personal rules into a guide for when I ought to report a forum post, so I very rarely report anything except things that are clearly posted in the wrong place or things that are so egregiously offensive that I think the poster (and the rest of us) would benefit from a timeout.  I'm willing to bet that the few times I have reported a nasty troll, he has already been reported by a dozen other people.

For me, the cesspool had gotten deep enough by 2006 that I stopped posting for 15 years. Give or take a year or two.

Edited July 10, 2022 by Silent Mistwalker
there's an r in for

[Love Zhaoying]

34 minutes ago, Madelaine McMasters said:

Most disagreeable people eventually recognize their own self immolation, so I generally just wait them out (yeah, sometimes I help them out). 

I've noticed you are very skillful at politely highlighting inconsistencies / contradictions in people's postings. 

[Lyssa Greymoon]

2 hours ago, Scylla Rhiadra said:

Rather, I'd like to know how you use ARs.

AR is for spam, ignore list is for jerks.

[Madelaine McMasters]

8 minutes ago, Love Zhaoying said:

From this great discussion, maybe we can come up with positive ways to coddle, I mean reassure those who think we are "bullying" them / "ganging up on them"? I'm not sure if they're afraid they are also being AR'd. Which obviously most of us don't do;  just because we see a train wreck and try to assist the survivors, doesn't mean we have to be the ones to call the Popo.

I'm not always interested in reassuring those who claim they're being bullied. That's sometimes done to excuse bad behavior by people who know they're the bullies, or are so self-unaware they can't imagine they're the root cause of their own unhappiness. Whether I offer reassurance or facilitate an ignominious exit depends on my admittedly fallible assessment of the situation, and the ever present realization that I'm perfectly capable of harming myself.

[Madelaine McMasters]

11 minutes ago, Love Zhaoying said:

I've noticed you are very skillful at politely highlighting inconsistencies / contradictions in people's postings. 

If I could avoid inconsistencies/contradictions in my own postings, that'd be great.

[Persephone Emerald]

My most recent forum AR was on someone who was bad-mouthing a Mole. That is against the forum rules, but it's also rude, mean-spirited, and not helpful to the proper functions of a forum.

I would never AR someone for posting a point of view I don't agree with, but I will if I see it about to drag the thread into a dark, non-constructive argument with no "win" possible. I've also ARed someone when they seemed to be having a kind of breakdown and might have needed an enforced break from the forum.

Edited July 10, 2022 by Persephone Emerald

[Ceka Cianci]

I AR bots that seem to not really show up anywhere near  as much as they used to..

Also, Something that is way too shockingly inappropriate for the forums, which usually show up in this section every once in a great while.. It's those posts where they write the whole post in  the title of the thread and in all caps and make a few threads like  to try and eat up the first page of the forum.

Otherwise, I don't really AR.. If I don't care for something, I just ignore it by scrolling on passed it.