Scylla Rhiadra Posted March 20, 2020 Share Posted March 20, 2020 (edited) Dahlings! Do come in and have a seat – oh, any seat but that one, dearest: it’s Louis Quinze. Would you like some tea? It’s a special blend of jasmine I have made up just for me, and shipped in specially from Satori. These are terribly dark days for our beloved Linden Lab and Second Life, are they not? Sansar has failed, and the Lab seems to be retrenching. EEP (whatever that is, but the acronym doesn’t sound very hopeful, does it?) is proving problematic, and the sad, benighted masses who labour beneath the weighty impediment of a single moniker still cry out in vain, the poor dear things, for last names. Sim (or Region) crossings bedevil us all: just last week, I was booted unceremoniously from my BMW, and for a whole 5 minutes before I at last found my vehicle spinning in circles around a stand selling gluten-free avocado toast, I was a (*gasp*) pedestrian. And, did we need more evidence that the End of Days is upon us, I’ve noticed that some of even the most fashionable in-world stores are now selling something called “jeggings.” Truly, these are dark days. Well, dahlings, as you know, I’ve never been one to sit by idly while the world around me descends into an endless round of dreariness and off-brand knock-offs of haute couture. So, I took some time from my terribly busy schedule to jot down some ideas that will engage us all, as a community, in making Second Life a much much nicer place for me. Oh, and for you, of course, too. I ran some of these by a very good personal friend of mine who has some small insight into the workings of our lovely little virtual world, and he was resistant at first. “But Ebbe,” I insisted, “the residents of Second Life, even the little people, have fueled its success from the beginning! With, of course, some nudging from the cognoscenti.” And he had to agree. So I’ve put together an exciting four-point plan to de-drearify Second Life that I just know will excite you nearly as much as it does me. To ensure that these are easy to remember and implement, I’m having them printed up, to be distributed through vendors at all of the most exclusive boutiques in-world, so that we can be sure that those most capable of embracing its spirit understand their roles. But I thought it might be nice to share it with you as well. Read on, dahlings, and enjoy! The Oases of Beauty Project -- Every sim (yes, yes, dahlings, I know . . . "region") in Second Life should be equipped with a tastefully-appointed cafe-*****-art gallery. Is there anything worse than expending one’s energy in a morning of shopping, only to discover that the only available place to refresh oneself afterwards is a radioactive dystopian diner run by giant mutant cockroaches? I think there is not. A lovely model for these oases of relief might be "Isabel," in Mayfair -- I'm sure you must know it: scrumptious tapis, and a precious decor to die for! We might mix it up a bit, to speak colloquially, with some other models -- perhaps “Deux Maggots” in Paris, for the those who favour turtleneck sweaters and Existentialism with their au lait, or Singapore's "Odette," or that lovely little place on 7th Ave S that specializes in that Thai/Hawaiian fusion . . . well, I'm sure you get the idea. We might assemble a small but select committee to choose art to display in each, on a rotating basis; I have, of course, many commitments, but I'd be delighted to serve. The dress code shouldn’t be too restrictive, of course: we don’t want to entirely exclude the hoi polloi, but I think we might demand a minimum complexity of 120,000 from the clientele? The Beautify the N00b Project -- Nothing can mar a visit to a beautiful sim -- I mean, of course, region -- more than tripping over a poorly put-together resident! The poor dears have absolutely no idea, of course, about how to make themselves presentable, but that is where we can help! I propose that each of us adopt a n00b, and assist them in finding properly stylish vêtements et accessoires. Our guidance will be invaluable in improving their drab little virtual lives, and it will be, besides, a public service for all! No longer will I need to derender, derender, derender in an effort to keep my screen free of the fruits of an afternoon spent at Fabulously Free. The MANTan Project -- When I was last at Battery Street for a lovely little soiree celebrating the launch of the newest batch of those sweet little starter-homes in Bellisseria, I overhead a little discussion of something called the “ARCTan Project.” I didn’t really care to ask much about the details, but it involved a great deal of numbers or some such – no doubt my accountant will be able to handle it for me should it ever actually be implemented. But it did give me an idea to help improve everyone’s existence in Second Life. What would be an enormous boon to us all is a set of minimum standards for men’s attire. The men with whom I associate, of course, know much better than to appear before me wearing anything less than the very best and most stylish clothing, but we all know how difficult it can be for the less well-motivated male to find a decent suit, tie, and pants ensemble. I propose a revision to Second Life’s base code to ensure that only tastefully appareled men will be fully rendered by our viewers, while those with more questionable tastes in garb appear instead as jellydolls. We can devise a point system, based upon the individual components of the outfit: jeans with holes in the derriere, for instance, would score very low, while any man wearing a hoodie would automatically, and without regard to the rest of their outfit, be rendered in our viewers as a mahogany hat stand. This would encourage men to seek out the very best available to them, which would in turn incentivize the creators of men’s clothing to produce more sophisticated and tasteful clothing. No more rack upon rack of tattered graphic tees and low-slung joggers: soon, it will be Saville Row everywhere you turn for men’s clothing! The Forum Wallpaper Project -- Well, honestly, dahlings, look around you. Is this really a nice place to be? Is it well appointed, or tastefully decorated? Has even a minimal effort been made to emulate the stylishness of the world’s greatest forum? (I mean, of course, the ancient Roman one.) Think how much more pleasant it would be to engage in delightful banter amidst great art and design! What I propose is that the forum’s visual theme be varied, on a rotating basis, by the addition of images of some of the loveliest designs that the world has to offer. I have taken the liberty to produce a mock-up of how this might look, using motifs borrowed from the Arts and Crafts Movement (don’t you just adore William Morris?) These little decorative touches – like the signed Basquiat I have hanging in my bedroom – can make our days that much brighter and more stylish, n’est-ce pas? So there you are, dahlings. Be dears, and spread the good word! And I’m always delighted to accept applications from those eager to volunteer – please DM me your resume and accompanying reference from your favourite designer! Let’s get to work, making Second Life beautiful again! Mwah mwah! Edited March 20, 2020 by Scylla Rhiadra 12 13 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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