Amina Sopwith

I once went out to dinner with some friends. We ordered some wine, the waiter opened the bottle for tasting and one of the guys, a very funny, down to earth bloke, took a sip and, as a joke, said, "Ugh, disgusting! Take it away!" We laughed, the waiter laughed, everyone enjoyed the joke, all good. So a few weeks later, out again, ordered wine, I decided to do the same thing. Waiter offered me the wine, I tasted it and said, "Ugh, disgusting! Take it away!" And of course nobody laughed, and the waiter was horrified and started apologising and going to get a fresh bottle, and someone asked me what the absolute frig I was playing at, and I had to apologise and explain that I had been trying to do a funny and it hadn't worked and I wasn't really a rude cow and oh my God can we please just forget this ever happened? So the waitress is probably just glad that I'm not ordering wine.

A friend's daughter sometimes calls me Pocahontas, after the Disney version who often had her animal companion on her head.

My cat is sitting on my head. She likes doing this.

In public? You can get done for that!

It was almost worth suffering lockdown for that alone. Almost. For the uninitiated...

Did you see the Eton mess last night? You'd think he could make himself presentable before he addresses the nation about a pandemic. At least I guess this means he hasn't been breaking lockdown by seeing a barber.

Obviously I'm grateful that I'm not in any additional risk categories, and it's absolutely right that more vulnerable people go first, and the NHS is doing a brilliant job with the rollout... ...but I want my vaccine too! Please get to me soon!!! Online calculator used to say I wouldn't get my first jab until September at the earliest, now it's saying it could be as early as May. Then the second one in September. Hooray!

Not a rant, far from it.... THE SCHOOLS ARE REOPENING!

If I had a Linden dollar for every time someone had declared me to be a man because I wouldn't voice, or an age group they don't want because I won't share, I would be a very rich resident. It's transparent manipulation and I usually respond by saying something like "Yeah, you're right, in fact I'm actually 82 and have no teeth as well." It either makes them go away or, for some reason, pisses them right off, so it's a win either way. Do this or I'll assume I wouldn't find you attractive, says anonymous dimwit. Twemble twemble.

It is boring as hell and not worth it, don't bother. Have you read Dracula? That is superb.

Yes. Yes. Oh, yes.

My God, someone's recreated THAT in SL? Just fart into a bag and wrap it round your head if you want to know what it's like on the Victoria Line in rush hour.

Yes. Oh, yes.

Well, in the interests of skewering all that's loving and romantic, I've just been reading some stories about lovemaking mishaps. Most of them I couldn't share here, but one of the cleaner ones that's stuck in my mind is the guy who kept saying "yes, yes, oh yes", put his partner in mind of the nodding dog in the Churchill car insurance adverts* and just basically killed the moment stone dead. I share it because it's ruined any future "oh yes" experience for me, so I don't see why you guys should still get to have any fun. *British thing. You can get nodding Churchill dog toys for your car and desk as well. Give the dog a phone.

Oh, and a very outdated one that won't be relevant any more, but I'll throw it in...I never minded system skirts either. They were great for a pencil skirt and they didn't pass through chairs, table legs or anything else. As long as they had a good texture on them, they looked very nice (by the standards of the day). It took only a couple of minutes to make a "system skirt shape" so you could wear them without blowing up your lower half past the proportions that you wanted. They got a shed load of stick, but I quite liked them.

I really don't mind classic avatars (I still haven't found a mesh head that I like so at the moment I don't use one). They don't spoil my immersion or my experience, in fact they make me quite nostalgic.

How on earth did that come about??

I've seen cards lately for "palentines" and "galentines" (for platonic female friends)...to me, it looks as though the marketing is branching out to include all kinds of love. Saw several people today doing the Valentine's Day Q&A thing for their dogs. Gave them all a like. But you could argue that the companies are extending the meaning of "Valentine" only so that they can commercialise it still further, so that might not be a win.

They're asking for it with that Knickers one, honestly. They can hardly complain when we go all Carry On with it. Wasn't there one recently along the lines of SlaverHardmanTotallyNotOvercompensating or something like that?

Thats Amore (are you allowed apostrophes?) Funny Bunny Easter Bunny Orion Nebula Edgelord Darkheart Dopeoplestilldrink Absinthe Loose Caboose

I have a number of medical professional friends in the NHS, and while none of them has anything good to say about this government, they do not believe this is the case.

From another folk song, Sing, John Ball: "Who'll be the lady, who will be the lord, when we are ruled by the love of one another...All shall be ruled by fellowship I say, all shall be ruled by the love of one another...." Long live the day that is dawning!

Yes, what on earth was that? What was he saying??