AmandaKeen

What I would want is undoable; the ability to actually remain invisible to stalkers and their alt-hordes and their Scanners without having to “hide” on an Alt.

I can so relate. I’ll friend you when I’m inworld tomorrow.

Quiet time to explore Alone time w my Partner Roleplay

My personal opinions only.... It might help to be very specific on whether you are looking to “lifestyle” BDSM with a specific dominant or just find someone to Scene with. “Lifestylers” are looking for some level of commitment - which varies by individual - but it might help to be clear on that. At one time, some septs of BDSM used the conventions of the “Consideration Collar” and the “Play Collar”. A Consideration Collar was offered to a prospective Submissive during a Trial period before any binding commitments were made; so that both Top and Bottom could see if this was a good fit for them. This would cover your desire to “get to know” a Dominant before committing to a Lifestyle Arrangement. The Play Collar might be offered for a single session of “sport” and bears no commitment, this might also suit your purposes if you want to Scene and then walk away. Just because a given individual is on the BDSM Scene, that does not mean they are into Poly or Hookup culture. Many Dominants are in fact looking for that one special Submissive that they can pour-into and make a genuine time-investment in, so it might not be germane to be too hard on them for looking for exclusivity. BDSM is not always completely about sex. A good approach might be to specifically look for Dominants who state that they are into Open/Poly/Multi-Submissive situations and are not looking for exclusivity up front. BDSM “Lifestyle” is a time commitment for both parties, so exclusivity is used by some as a litmus test for the ability to commit. Side Note: Some SL residents find it unsettling for someone to be up-front about having several alts, a prospective Dominant might see that as indicating someone with too wide a variety of tastes for them to satisfy - so maybe it might be a good idea not to *lead* with that, but bring it up after a personal relationship is more established ? Best wishes!!!

I’d say I’m experiencing that right now 🙂 Is “Reverse ghosting” a thing?

Velvet Thorn and The Nothing for FemDom The Chamber for more generalized BDSM...

Blank Profiles.......

Technology has leveraged the greatest OPPORTUNITY for behavioral change within gender roles. Instant global communication has increased awareness and therefore enlightened many to *new* possibilities. Good ideas are hard to kill once they get communicated. Tools have made former gender-based restrictions based on upper body strength and reproductive (gestation) cycles largely irrelevant - although still enforced in many areas. Technology and Social Media have also caused some of the most conflicted messaging in history...the modern woman is supposed to be financially and emotionally independent while *at the same time* remaining ”forever 21”, having some version of a “perfect” body shape, buying shoes that kill their feet and generally conforming to Pop Cultures version of what “normal” looks like. ......and we tune in daily to make sure we know what that is.

BDSM in Second Life is hard to quantify as “all one thing” because - just like in RL - it’s practitioners vary in ideology, motivation and the soft skills that underpin a good Dom/Domme. This leaves us with trying to narrow down the specific fetishes the Domme/Submissives wish to address and what hard limits they might have. That information -can- be quantified on a list. The value of that on an Avatar matching service means you can narrow the field of possibles considerably, and much faster than talking to one person at a time. The other virtue has to deal with anonymity. The person “seeking” has an opportunity to “screen” potentials without revealing their identity until they feel confident that they have a viable candidate. This reduces the chance of having people with a penchant for “stalking” behaving badly if they are -not- the One offered a Negotiation. Many people have issues with Rejection, so the anonymity of using the service is probably an emotional cushion for people -not- selected as they might not even know their profile was considered. Less drama is always good for SL. Avatar marching is no better overall than going door to door from the aspect of -knowing- who a person is; but it can help you rule out people whose compatibility would be low and spare everyone’s feelings in the process.

Thank you Orwar.... This will be a shocker, but AvMatch.com did a great job of putting what I was looking for in front of -the right audience. Avatar matching services are looked at with a good deal of skepticism, but for this specific purpose - top marks 🙂

Just a thought, but I had massively better success locating a Submissive by *not* looking here on the forums. The SL Forums involve only a small fraction of the SL population, of which only *some* are on the Scene. Checking out the BDSM venue of your choice *or* using one of the Avatar Dating Services might work better as people who are “actively looking” can be found in either locale. I’m unsure if I can actually Name the service I accessed (without getting in trouble) when I was looking for my Girl, but the results were abnormally good as their search base had lots of “possibles” to scrub through. Specific to BDSM - its handy to be able to search by the particular Kinks and Time Zones you’re interested in. There *are* unicorns out there - they just need to be hunted in the right places 😉 Big Datasets = Higher Quality Results

I love San Antonio 🙂 My son attended training there and I visited to see him graduate. San Antonio has a deep and mixed cultural heritage and like you; I can see myself living there someday.

Second Life is certainly influenced by Americans, but the influence is what some might call a “skewed sample”... Americans in Sl tend towards the sector of population that would have a need or propensity towards online, virtual worlds. Geeky people like me, people with life-limiting disabilities (me to some degree), gamers, people with a specific intrest in SL’s sex content or people who don’t “RL” well and prefer the digital world (also me to some degree after the Balkans). The end result is that a big chunk of America is un-represented here because “its a really big place”, like China... Generalizing about Americans based on Sl behavior might be a little off kilter, just like generalizing from popular media would be as media tends to only report the sensationally BAD to sell advertising with. My Sl Partner is a proud Canadian and I love her dearly - so I would point out that hers is a distinctly different culture than what we have in the lower 48 states. My Sl Friends encompass several Australians and Germans as well as people from the UK, EU and even California 🙂 I consider myself lucky to have such a global collection of friends and I didn’t have to work hard to find them. My personal belief is that *if* we all worked at trying to get to know each other in venues like SL, it could make small difference in how we get along outside of it. I’ve got to see personally what happens when supposedly civilized people decide that ethnic cleansing is the way to go, so I am really in favor of any platform that offers us a chance to see one another as people instead of “them”. SL is largely what you make of it, and if you’d like some help meeting a broader swath - I’d be honored. RL gave me the chance to see a big chunk of the world when I was young, my unscientific observation is that “people are people”, so how we get along iss entirely up to us.

Game?

http://maps.secondlife.com/secondlife/Kress/172/160/2501