Tipping Etiquette

[Silent Mistwalker]

I quit hosting when I was forced to share my hard-earned tips. Same reason I quit waitressing in RL back in the day. I'm not sharing my tips with people who did nothing to deserve it. I'm the one being complimented on my work not everyone else. 

[Maitimo]

I do both DJing and hosting at the same venue.  As a host, my role is:

1) Prepare and post notices for the upcoming event, both in advance and right before the event. It just so happens that this also involves creating an artistic poster for the advance notice, but that's just an "us" thing and doesn't apply to most clubs.

2) Build a unique set for themed events. For example, an undersea temple for the mer party we had last weekend. Again, that's not typical of most clubs, though I do know of one other that does this at last on a semi regular basis.

3) Greet guests when they arrive. That's just basic level good maners.

4) Help to keep conversation flowing. This is the most important part of a host's role, IMO. A host that doesn't do this is not hosting.

5) Taking snapshots of the event which are combined into a collage distributed to group members as a "souvenir" after the event. Again, that's just an "us" thing.

I don't make reminders for guests to tip either myself or the DJ (a tip to me counts as a tip to the venue too, because I own and manage it). Honstly, I don't remember the last time I'e even needed to. We have guests who tip generously whether I remind them or not. We have guests who can't afford to tip whether I remind them or not. We have a guest who tips L$10 every week, because that's all she can spare.  Asking for tips or not asking really makes no difference to the amount of tips received. In fact, asking probably REDUCES the tips, because many guests resent it. 

 

 

[sirhc DeSantis]

Odd to log in to the forums as I usually monitor to see who else to add to inworld mute list. Don't worry, most already are.

On this one.. the caveat is I am 'in the biz' and am allowed out by my comptroller ( who is also me but has the money and the rents and the premiums - odd how that works) with pocket money so when out and about.. say I go to 2 on a night out. Live players? Easy 50/50 because I know live when done well here is - wonderful and I know the work involved. DJ? I have odd tastes so... depends. But mostly 50/50 depending - because I am in an unfamiliar place so deserved.

Home club is always 50% because I would get thrown outta the brownies. Thing is when I do go out I have a budget. And I appreciate what is there. Again, 'in the biz'. I might have a slight bias because I am out and going to enjoy things. Things I may have heard of before. Do not ask about the Company outing - I have to save up for that.

Side note - the standard LSL pay thingy is 1,2,5,10 lindens with 'fill in here'. I made one once that was '10,500,10000,1000000' and got complaints about 'you expect me to pay 10L'. I also made a 'tipping cow' thing. So it goes

Also - I do the streamy thing so I can look like - me And I am drop dead but I am a feral so - Other staff have to erm well.. uniform almost.

I have worked with damned good people over the last decade and a half. There are no rules. Just be nice. I am I hope. Bills have to be met but 'thank you' 'never heard before' '20 cos' 50, 100, 200, 40k (happened once) all appreciated. Best tip I ever got was at a Pride when someone said they had never heard of 'Blondie' before. Young person from India. Made my year.

Be nice to your club people. A lot of us - most of us - are nice back. Even me

[Da5id Weatherwax]

As a performer, thank you on behalf of ALL of us for your tips.

Also as a performer, thank you for supporting the venues - without them, we'd not be able to stand up and entertain you. One can't just roll up on a corner of Linden roads and start busking, the grid dont work like that.

Now, let's talk about the host(esse)s. They don't just stand around and greet people like a "hello bot." If I have a good host to work with at a particular venue, they handle representing the venue owner to me and representing ME to all the folks who might be familiar with the venue but who have never heard ME perform. They send out groupnotes and group chat advertising my upcoming set, they keep me informed about stuff going on at the venue I might need to be aware of. Their job is to make everything run smoothly and do all the irritating crap that a virtual venue demands so I don't have to fit all that in around a live soundcheck and warming up for a performance. They do a lot of work that, as an attendee, you never see - that you aren't supposed to see. So do tip 'em. Please. A good host is an absolute godsend to a performer of any kind. Show your appreciation of the work they do, so that all of us performers continue to have good ones available.

[Maitimo]

1 hour ago, Da5id Weatherwax said:

One can't just roll up on a corner of Linden roads and start busking, the grid dont work like that.

In Bellisseria, you can. Just pop in to  the hub, book a date at your chosen community centre and have at it.

[Perrie Juran]

3 hours ago, Da5id Weatherwax said:

A good host is an absolute godsend to a performer of any kind. Show your appreciation of the work they do, so that all of us performers continue to have good ones available.

Actually everything  that you have said here, and especially this last statement is all the more reason for why I should not tip. If the host is keeping the club running smoothly and making life simpler for you then the responsibility for compensating them (tipping) clearly belongs to you and the club owner and not me.

[Arielle Popstar]

23 minutes ago, Perrie Juran said:

Actually everything  that you have said here, and especially this last statement is all the more reason for why I should not tip. If the host is keeping the club running smoothly and making life simpler for you then the responsibility for compensating them (tipping) clearly belongs to you and the club owner and not me.

If the host(ess) has their own tip jar though then I'd think it would be safe to assume club is not compensating other then maybe a small base rate.

[Stephanie Misfit]

44 minutes ago, Perrie Juran said:

Actually everything  that you have said here, and especially this last statement is all the more reason for why I should not tip. If the host is keeping the club running smoothly and making life simpler for you then the responsibility for compensating them (tipping) clearly belongs to you and the club owner and not me.

Yeah, sounds like the host is working for the venue and artist, and should receive compensation from them. But people are desperate for "jobs" in SL and will take anything that will give them some small chance of lindens via tips, so I guess club owners could really take advantage of some hard-working individuals. Anyway, there is no tipping in the country I live in, people get proper wages instead, so I do find this whole concept of people not getting paid for their work to be very strange to begin with.

[Rat Luv]

36 minutes ago, Arielle Popstar said:

If the host(ess) has their own tip jar though then I'd think it would be safe to assume club is not compensating other then maybe a small base rate.

I never knew of any club that paid hosts...it was always 'tips only'. Also, when I started and didn't know anyone involved in SL clubs, I just got given a time to turn up and was 'assigned' to a DJ - my first one was a country rap DJ who would get stoned and go AFK and leave his tunes running, and barely spoke to me... It took a few clubs before I found the right chemistry with a DJ!

Some places, on dead nights, the owner would tip us both - but not all places do...I've also hosted for DJs who quit the set early because hardly anyone turned up ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ I think a good way to do it would be for a DJ and host who are already friends to apply as a duo when they go to clubs...I bet most owners would also appreciate it 👍

By the way, I have never, ever heard of any hosts or DJs even mentioning guests who didn't tip, if anyone's worried about etiquette. We did talk about some guests' quirky behaviour though 

[Dorientje Woller]

On 8/24/2023 at 12:49 AM, Rat Luv said:

The only etiquette I would follow is to tip any DJ if you request a tune and they play it 👍

This is, as DJ myself, is tricky for me as I dj according certain rules when it comes to requests.

- Normally I don't take requests ... I am not your personal jukebox. In my country, if I go to a club and dare to ask a request, I have the possibility to be thrown out of the club. The DJ is an employee of that club, hired by the management due to his/her skills and you are harassing that employee with your selfishness. If you don't like that principle, and the music that played at that moment in the club doesn't suits you, you're always free to leave the club and go somewhere else. 

So, when I do take a request, there are some things I take in mind:

- Never, ever, do I play twice or more the same artist in a set. If the artist has already passed in my set, bad luck. When he/she/they are still up, no problem, I might change it to the requested tune or I ask you if the one I have in mind suits you.

- If I don't have the requested track, sorry, I won't download it or convert it from YouTube during the set. Doesn't mean that if I have something of that artist that I ask you to agree if I play another track of that artist.

- I will not insert tracks that don't fit the theme/flow of the set. Don't ask/request me to play a commercial rock track, while I am doing a Goth Rock set. I will not satify your intend to disrupt the flow of my set.

- Don't make a fuzz about it, if I don't take your request, in IM or local chat. See above, if it doesn't suits you, you're free to leave the club and go somewhere else. 

Edited August 26, 2023 by Dorientje Woller

[Silent Mistwalker]

8 hours ago, Dorientje Woller said:

I am not your personal jukebox. In my country, if I go to a club and dare to ask a request, I have the possibility to be thrown out of the club. The DJ is an employee of that club, hired by the management due to his/her skills and you are harassing that employee with your selfishness. If you don't like that principle, and the music that played at that moment in the club doesn't suits you, you're always free to leave the club and go somewhere else. 

You aren't a radio type DL then and that is why I quit going to clubs in SL. Most of the hip-hop type DJs can't even stick to the genre of the club much less their own.

What country are you from? I want to make damn sure I never go there.

[Rowan Amore]

9 hours ago, Dorientje Woller said:

The DJ is an employee of that club, hired by the management due to his/her skills and you are harassing that employee with your selfishness. If you don't like that principle, and the music that played at that moment in the club doesn't suits you, you're always free to leave the club and go somewhere else. 

This would mean the club should pay a decent wage and the DJ should not have to depend on tips at all.   Unfortunately, this isn't how most clubs operate in SL.  There are some that do pay the DJ directly but the majority do not.   So in essence, the DJ is working for the patrons and not the club, IMO.

[Dorientje Woller]

51 minutes ago, Silent Mistwalker said:

You aren't a radio type DL then and that is why I quit going to clubs in SL. Most of the hip-hop type DJs can't even stick to the genre of the club much less their own.

What country are you from? I want to make damn sure I never go there.

Seems you don't understand it. You're not the only one in a club. How do you think that somebody has the priveledge, the audacity, the entitlement to disrupt possibly the moment of hunderds if not more in a crowd of a club with your request. The DJ at that party, in that club is in control of the mood in the club, with his skills, knowledge and talent. And you think that this happens only in my country? Once happened to me in a club in Berlin. Had a request, dj looked at the bilboard 100 & alternative bilboard 100 and simply replied: "Sorry, hon, it's in the alternative charts, so no play" and I could walk back to my friends on the dance floor.

BTW, refusing requests has advantages:
- Avoidance that you don't get dissappointed because your inspiration of the moment doesn't get played.

- Avoidance that the rest of the crowd gets dissapointed because their mood gets disrupted.

- Avoidance that the dj gets frustrated by the requests of each and everybody, coz it takes time to fit in a request well.

[Silent Mistwalker]

15 minutes ago, Dorientje Woller said:

Seems you don't understand it. You're not the only one in a club. How do you think that somebody has the priveledge, the audacity, the entitlement to disrupt possibly the moment of hunderds if not more in a crowd of a club with your request. The DJ at that party, in that club is in control of the mood in the club, with his skills, knowledge and talent. And you think that this happens only in my country? Once happened to me in a club in Berlin. Had a request, dj looked at the bilboard 100 & alternative bilboard 100 and simply replied: "Sorry, hon, it's in the alternative charts, so no play" and I could walk back to my friends on the dance floor.

BTW, refusing requests has advantages:
- Avoidance that you don't get dissappointed because your inspiration of the moment doesn't get played.

- Avoidance that the rest of the crowd gets dissapointed because their mood gets disrupted.

- Avoidance that the dj gets frustrated by the requests of each and everybody, coz it takes time to fit in a request well.

Oh, but I do understand it. Just not from your POV that I don't happen to agree with. I've lived with a RL radio DJ for more than 20 years now who also has been DJing in SL for more than 10 years. He's one of the few in SL who will take requests.

Where did I say it happens only in your country? I didn't. You're jumping to conclusions based on your imagination. 

I never said not taking requests didn't have advantages either. It's not like my husband takes requests the whole set. There is always a time limit to put in requests just like there is on the air waves.

Point being SL is an international community and everyone needs to be willing to work with others and compromise.

[Dorientje Woller]

Quote

Point being SL is an international community and everyone needs to be willing to work with others and compromise.

Not taking requests is the compromise to keep everbody happy. 

[Silent Mistwalker]

14 minutes ago, Dorientje Woller said:

Not taking requests is the compromise to keep everbody happy. 

That is your opinion which you are entitled to. Don't expect everyone to agree with you though.

[Rowan Amore]

Since we should be discussing tipping djs and hosts IN SL, all this other stuff is kind of off topic as well as irrelevant.  Just sayin'.

 

[Dellard]

A lot of hosts are alts of the DJ's anyway, so why tip twice?

[Liaa Nova]

To start with, if I have a request that is of the genre being played and the DJ refuses with no reason, then no, I don't tip. If I request and it's played, then always. Usually I tip L$100 but if I'm having a great time and the DJ is good then I'll tip a second time (more). Hosts just depends; if all they do is gesture then no . . . I hate it and don't want to encourage them. If they ask/beg for tips then no again. If they are really working hard then of course, they get the same as the DJ. Luckily where I go the DJ's mix live and can easily fit something in and are happy to do so, after all, you're there to give the crowd a good time and part of the fun is having your tune played and some like a mention.

Any DJ with the attitude of the one a few posts above who thinks it's all about them not only gets zero, I'd just leave as they assume everyone wants to hear their choices of music. When I see a DJ taking requests, we all accept some will be songs we don't like just the same as if the DJ picked the song and it's fine

[Perrie Juran]

I will understand if a DJ tells me a request does not fit in the theme of things though usually if I am requesting a song it is because something they played inspired me to think of the song I am requesting.

[Dafadilia Wayfarer]

I was a hostess for ten or so years in SL. I meticulously wrote up/sent out notices before each shift. I greeted every patron who teleported in. I kept local conversation going, kept track of the request list passing them onto the dj and answered any questions patrons had. It was also a requirement that I had to push tipping of the venue ever fifteen minutes while the dj was every thirty minutes. We would usually have three hour sets. I flat out refused to use gestures of any kind. I always made enough to cover my house rental and save the rest for anything I wanted to purchase. It got to the point where the venue was wanting me to work three or four shifts in a day because the djs would request me as hostess. Too much. They got upset when I declined since my rl work, health and sanity always came first. I've always been hoh and slowly going deaf. In 2016 I had to recognize myself as deaf for the first time. So after ten years my hostessing career ended. I was a good hostess. I didn't do it for the tips. It was fun.

It's up to the patron if they feel they wish to tip or not. There shouldn't ever be any pressure for them to do so and that is one of the few things I truly despised having to do as a hostess.

[Love Zhaoying]

Sometimes I way overtip, obscenely so. Is that poor tipping etiquette?

[Dorientje Woller]

14 hours ago, Liaa Nova said:

To start with, if I have a request that is of the genre being played and the DJ refuses with no reason, then no, I don't tip. If I request and it's played, then always. Usually I tip L$100 but if I'm having a great time and the DJ is good then I'll tip a second time (more). Hosts just depends; if all they do is gesture then no . . . I hate it and don't want to encourage them. If they ask/beg for tips then no again. If they are really working hard then of course, they get the same as the DJ. Luckily where I go the DJ's mix live and can easily fit something in and are happy to do so, after all, you're there to give the crowd a good time and part of the fun is having your tune played and some like a mention.

Any DJ with the attitude of the one a few posts above who thinks it's all about them not only gets zero, I'd just leave as they assume everyone wants to hear their choices of music. When I see a DJ taking requests, we all accept some will be songs we don't like just the same as if the DJ picked the song and it's fine

After a long thought, let me say the following: I rather get rewarded for the work I put in a set. For the sharing of my passion into the alternative scene that I got from my father. For promoting of new, unkown bands and tracks in a very vast scene. For the keen ear I have in my sets. For the craftmanship of my work. The reliability I represent to people who are interested in my DJ sets. And, yes, it might surprise you, but there are a lot of DJ's in SL that share the same sentiment. Rather that, than being rewarded by the "Jump through the hoop to get your treat" mentality.

[PheebyKatz]

On 8/25/2023 at 6:50 PM, Perrie Juran said:

Actually everything  that you have said here, and especially this last statement is all the more reason for why I should not tip. If the host is keeping the club running smoothly and making life simpler for you then the responsibility for compensating them (tipping) clearly belongs to you and the club owner and not me.

Because when you can roll into a free restaurant and gorge yourself on all of the goodies for nothing, and people are working hard to provide you with all of that to the best of their ability, someone else should be paying them all for it, right?

Because people merely showing up to an event is what keeps SL and all of the people striving to do something great with it online, right?

You know, you're right. Everyone should just do their absolute best to provide everyone with the best of everything, with no motivation other than a sim owner going further into pocket and paying for every fart and poot of it all, for nothing other than the satisfaction of seeing people visit their sim.

I think I'll go eat at a nice restaurant tonight instead of cooking for the house. Someone will pay for it, I'm sure. I deserve the best. For nothing.

Thank you for opening my eyes. Goodbye.

[Perrie Juran]

2 hours ago, PheebyKatz said:

Because when you can roll into a free restaurant and gorge yourself on all of the goodies for nothing, and people are working hard to provide you with all of that to the best of their ability, someone else should be paying them all for it, right?

I guess I could walk back into the kitchen and tip the Cooks and the Dishwashers also.

I do tip venues and musicians and DJ's generously. I guess I will trim that back and start tipping the hosts instead.

(BTW, I never said that I didn't tip hosts. But I am asking a question about it.)

ETA: Reflecting on this a little more, isn't that what some hosts  who do not really add value are expecting, a free ride on my Linden Dollars. (and note that I said "some")

Edited August 27, 2023 by Perrie Juran
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