Rowan Amore Posted August 17, 2023 Share Posted August 17, 2023 3 hours ago, Sam1 Bellisserian said: How do you know that they are "doing it" with another girl and why in the world would you advertise it in local? Is it really all the time? Not once have I been hit on where I was aware that they were doing it with another girl. I'd be interested to know where you hang out that this happens a lot so I don't go. Since she's said it was a swinger/group sex place, men often IM women their current partner won't find threatening. You know, low hanging fruit. No one the partner would get jealous of to join them. 2 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ingrid Ingersoll Posted August 17, 2023 Share Posted August 17, 2023 23 hours ago, BilliJo Aldrin said: rethinking this topic, I get the impression that unless you are willing to share all of your real life, people think you shouldn’t get involved in sl relations lest you cause that less than 1% of population looking for real life to fall in love with you. so just forget about the 99% that want nothing more out of second life, than second life, but comport yourself to protect that 1%. ummmm no People who don't want to disclose their rl sex hate hearing this but there are way more than 1% using sl as a rl dating app. Then they get angry about being asked to voice or on discord. Why get angry? Just realize that this isn't the relationship for you, and move on. Everyone does sl differently, be respectful of people's choices. If you're uncomfortable sharing your rl sex fine, say so and move on. But don't deliberately hide it and catfish people. Obviously that's completely disrespectful and selfish. 2 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BilliJo Aldrin Posted August 17, 2023 Share Posted August 17, 2023 7 minutes ago, Ingrid Ingersoll said: People who don't want to disclose their rl sex hate hearing this but there are way more than 1% using sl as a rl dating app. Then they get angry about being asked to voice or on discord. Why get angry? Just realize that this isn't the relationship for you, and move on. Everyone does sl differently, be respectful of people's choices. If you're uncomfortable sharing your rl sex fine, say so and move on. But don't deliberately hide it and catfish people. Obviously that's completely disrespectful and selfish. I made up the 1% stat. Where is your proof that its “way more” ? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ingrid Ingersoll Posted August 17, 2023 Share Posted August 17, 2023 1 minute ago, BilliJo Aldrin said: I made up the 1% stat. Where is your proof that its “way more” ? I'm not throwing that statement out there as indisputable fact. Your experience might be very different depending on where you go in sl, who you chose to hang out with etc. I don't roleplay in sl, and I've met a lot of people like me who are just themselves with an avatar to walk around in. I'm 100% sure we do sl very differently. 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BilliJo Aldrin Posted August 17, 2023 Share Posted August 17, 2023 (edited) 31 minutes ago, Ingrid Ingersoll said: I'm not throwing that statement out there as indisputable fact. Your experience might be very different depending on where you go in sl, who you chose to hang out with etc. I don't roleplay in sl, and I've met a lot of people like me who are just themselves with an avatar to walk around in. I'm 100% sure we do sl very differently. whats funny is I dont rp either, im just myself. But “Are you female” is just the first question. after that its age, height, weight , bra size, what color panties are you wearing, and are you smooth down there. I always share that I am female in rl, but if the questioning persits, they get shut down very fast, because its obvious they are not interested in second life at all. It says in my rl profile that i am 53, weigh 500 lbs and am horribly disfigured from a car crash. I always tell the truth, except when i’m lying 😂 Edited August 17, 2023 by BilliJo Aldrin added a few words Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Rowan Amore Posted August 17, 2023 Share Posted August 17, 2023 52 minutes ago, Ingrid Ingersoll said: Then they get angry about being asked to voice or on discord. Why get angry? I've never gotten angry when asked to voice but I've had others get angry when I say I don't. That may be why people eventually DO become angry when asked because they've had to deal with men (usually) who don't like hearing NO. 3 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Istelathis Posted August 17, 2023 Share Posted August 17, 2023 (edited) Personal responsibility has to enter the equation, that includes all party members. From what I have read @BilliJo Aldrin has repeatedly said they keep it strictly related to SL. If I understand the relationships BilliJo involves themselves with, if RL seeps into the relationship it is cut off, from my own ethical viewpoint of what I understand of the dynamics at play, they are open with their intentions and I would assume their intentions are made clear with the relationship that it is strictly SL related. Communication is key here on everyone. I don't think Billi is going around trying to play with people's emotions, not at least from what I have read. A simple "in real life are you a bio-woman" would be appropriate enough, and I imagine be enough to be warned by them that it is strictly SL and none of their business, or a ghosting. Am I right BilliJo? Bio-woman, lol.. Now I am thinking of the Bionic Woman. In real life people are responsible for their relationships, you don't go around sleeping with every man or woman you meet, just because they are willing. Not unless you want to end up with venereal disease, unwanted pregnancies, partaking in destroying other people's families, and so on. People who assume the other person is going to be open about everything on the get go are being foolish. Even assuming that they think exactly like you do, is foolish. Some people don't have a problem with something like herpes and assume everyone feels the same way, or they don't consider cheating on their spouse to be a problem, or they believe they can never get pregnant or the person they are with is taking precautions. A responsible person, gets to know them, the real them first to know their personality, to know how they feel about a variety of issues, they have to get a feel for the person they are about to have relations with. Real life relationships, require real life communication. If a person intentionally lies when outright asked, then from my own viewpoint that is horrible behavior. I don't think BillyJo allows for real life relationships to progress that far, the person may fall head over heels for them. They should have listened to BillyJo, realized they were only interested in a secondlife relationship, instead of pursuing the relationship further than what was ever intended. /me shakes head What have I gotten myself into? Edited August 17, 2023 by Istelathis 3 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Love Zhaoying Posted August 17, 2023 Share Posted August 17, 2023 4 minutes ago, Istelathis said: /me shakes head What have I gotten myself into? Another fine mess! 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ingrid Ingersoll Posted August 17, 2023 Share Posted August 17, 2023 23 minutes ago, Rowan Amore said: I've never gotten angry when asked to voice but I've had others get angry when I say I don't. That may be why people eventually DO become angry when asked because they've had to deal with men (usually) who don't like hearing NO. I talk to people on voice regularly in sl but if I'm feeling low energy, i type. That has annoyed a tiny fraction of people I've had interactions with in sl. And frankly, I don't care. 1 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Nalates Urriah Posted August 17, 2023 Share Posted August 17, 2023 21 hours ago, Sid Nagy said: I'm more in the line of "Mileages vary". I don't like to generalize. There are a lot of different people out there. From all sorts, believes, genders, races, age, with all kind of different expectations about SL, different (hidden) agendas, goals, achievements, taste, ethics, morals, cultural backgrounds. The ones that walk like an elephant through a china shop (like the one you described) can go and f*** themselves. But I'm convinced that there are tons of good people worth meeting out there too. There are good people that have good ethics and morals. But, I have found very few that know where they got their ideas or have examined them. 6 hours ago, Sam1 Bellisserian said: I'm sure you know this and probably don't care but for new people that read the forums this is against the TOS and you could get an AR filed against you and banned for doing this. Frankly, I'd be angry too that you did this so I don't blame him. I think you miss understand the TOS and the scenario. I also wonder if following rules is more important than your ethics, concern for friends, and honesty. Interesting that you too would be angry at someone ratting out your bad behavior. 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Kathlen Onyx Posted August 17, 2023 Share Posted August 17, 2023 Just because a person wants to be sure any intimacies occur between a member of the opposite sex doesn't make them wrong, even if they are not seeking a RL relationship. If it doesn't matter to you then just find another person that it doesn't matter to them either. I see a lot of people here that have the opinion that they don't care that the other person is male or female as long as they can RP the part correctly and seem to want to shame those that don't think that way. I don't sleep with women in RL and I prefer not to sleep with them in this pretend life either. There is nothing wrong with that...let me repeat, there is nothing wrong with that. I also talk about different things with people of different sexes. I posted before about a guy that presented to me as female and we began, what I thought, was a best girlfriend relationship. I discussed things with this person as a female to female that I never would have discussed with a male. Very personal things. When I found out he was actually male I felt deceived and stupid for falling for it. As far as calling someone out for IMing you in a swingers club while they were with another person that is so very juvenile. If I owned the club I'd have banned you. 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Love Zhaoying Posted August 17, 2023 Share Posted August 17, 2023 1 hour ago, BilliJo Aldrin said: I made up the 1% stat. Where is your proof that its “way more” ? Quoting for posterity! 3 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Kathlen Onyx Posted August 17, 2023 Share Posted August 17, 2023 4 minutes ago, Nalates Urriah said: I also wonder if following rules is more important than your ethics, concern for friends, and honesty. Interesting that you too would be angry at someone ratting out your bad behavior. If the rules meant that I could be banned from somewhere that I've spent hundred's of dollars on then yes it's more important. There is a way to do both. Just paraphrase what the person is saying instead of copying and pasting the time stamps with the exact wording. What I would be angry at would be the copying and pasting of exact texts that I sent to another person. Don't justify violating the TOS on ethics. LL won't care. 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Rowan Amore Posted August 17, 2023 Share Posted August 17, 2023 4 minutes ago, Nalates Urriah said: I think you miss understand the TOS As the Community Standards are an addition to the ToS and are in fact, stickied to this forum section... From the ToS... The following related policies are incorporated by reference in and made part of this Agreement, and provide Additional Terms, conditions and guidelines regarding the Service. In the event of a conflict between this Agreement and any Additional Terms, this Agreement shall control except as expressly provided otherwise. From the Community Standards... Disclosure Residents are entitled to a reasonable level of privacy with regard to their Second Life experience. Sharing personal information about your fellow Residents without their consent -- including gender, religion, age, marital status, race, sexual preference, alternate account names, and real-world location beyond what is provided by them in their Resident profile -- is not allowed. Remotely monitoring conversations in Second Life, posting conversation logs, or sharing conversation logs without the participants' consent are all prohibited. 1 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Love Zhaoying Posted August 17, 2023 Share Posted August 17, 2023 It's interesting how people misinterpret the TOS and Community Standards! 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Silent Mistwalker Posted August 17, 2023 Share Posted August 17, 2023 6 hours ago, Sam1 Bellisserian said: I'm sure you know this and probably don't care but for new people that read the forums this is against the TOS and you could get an AR filed against you and banned for doing this. Frankly, I'd be angry too that you did this so I don't blame him. If it was sent through email, posted on some other forum or sent some way that is not within LL's servers, LL has NO JURISDICTION AND CAN'T DO JACKCRAP ABOUT IT. 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Arwyn Quandry Posted August 17, 2023 Share Posted August 17, 2023 I've never really felt much need to broach the topic of my RL gender with people in SL because in RP, I expect people to be different than their characters and I don't conflate anything people do IC with who they are OOC. But I recently started chatting with someone in a way that feels much more intimate than just RP and I suppose I should bring it up with her. I don't mean to deceive anyone, it's just not something I think about. I don't go into situations looking for connections that go beyond friendship. Wild how they can get thrust upon you when you don't expect it. 🤷 3 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Missy Starchild Posted August 17, 2023 Share Posted August 17, 2023 (edited) Absolutely not a requirement to state RL gender, but I would put a disclaimer that you are not interested in sharing about RL, lest people get the wrong idea which they have and do. That or put that you're married to ward people off, which I've done before. Edited August 17, 2023 by Missy Starchild 1 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ingrid Ingersoll Posted August 17, 2023 Share Posted August 17, 2023 18 minutes ago, Sam1 Bellisserian said: Just because a person wants to be sure any intimacies occur between a member of the opposite sex doesn't make them wrong, even if they are not seeking a RL relationship. If it doesn't matter to you then just find another person that it doesn't matter to them either. Agreed. This annoys selfish people though doesn't it? 1 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Nalates Urriah Posted August 17, 2023 Share Posted August 17, 2023 So... we know who values their investment in SL above their friendships. Rules... few people think this through, as I previously pointed out. Did it occur to you that Abuse Reports violate the TOS & CS? There is no cut-out for Abuse Reports in the rules. Really!?! There is the rule and there is the intent of the rule. The idea is to promote privacy not cover for bad behavior. Also, sharing and posting per TOS and CS is only a matter of what happens or is permissible when using SL facilities. 2 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Silent Mistwalker Posted August 17, 2023 Share Posted August 17, 2023 33 minutes ago, Ingrid Ingersoll said: I talk to people on voice regularly in sl but if I'm feeling low energy, i type. That has annoyed a tiny fraction of people I've had interactions with in sl. And frankly, I don't care. What is stupid is when you are asked to voice and when you say no because hearing loss, they get pissed, call you a liar and all kinds of nasty things. They're dishonest and dishonest with themselves so they assume everyone else is just as dishonest as they are. Some have even gone as far as to (threaten to) file an AR on me. LOL! This is the kind of behavior that encourages me to avoid all people in SL. I originally came here for a friend and to make friends. The making friends part never really happened. Too many residents of SL are apparently scared to death to have just a friendship in RL with those they know in SL. It's pathetic. 1 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Kathlen Onyx Posted August 17, 2023 Share Posted August 17, 2023 18 minutes ago, Silent Mistwalker said: If it was sent through email, posted on some other forum or sent some way that is not within LL's servers, LL has NO JURISDICTION AND CAN'T DO JACKCRAP ABOUT IT. Of course they can't but that's not what she said she did. -but no need to yell. 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ingrid Ingersoll Posted August 17, 2023 Share Posted August 17, 2023 2 minutes ago, Silent Mistwalker said: Some have even gone as far as to (threaten to) file an AR on me. LOL! Don't pay attention to mentally ill people on the internet. 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Kathlen Onyx Posted August 17, 2023 Share Posted August 17, 2023 8 minutes ago, Nalates Urriah said: So... we know who values their investment in SL above their friendships. Oh please. Now you are shaming people for following the TOS? Rolls my eyes. 4 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Silent Mistwalker Posted August 17, 2023 Share Posted August 17, 2023 (edited) 15 minutes ago, Missy Starchild said: put that you're married to ward people off Doesn't work 100% of the time. I've even TOLD them I've been in a RL relationship for more than 20 years and it doesn't matter to them. They will still try to talk you into slexing because they can't handle being told NO! People don't always read profiles and they definitely don't read the whole thing. Edited August 17, 2023 by Silent Mistwalker 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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