Ideas for Compliments in Second Life (Bonus if Back-handed!)

[Krystina Ferraris]

I know it sounds like I’m making this up but I swear it’s the truth. It’s “normal” for my clients to address me or refer to me as “the girl” or “the blonde”, while my male colleagues are dr this and dr that. I don’t like titles but why can’t I be addressed at least by my name?

[Scylla Rhiadra]

Just now, Krystina Ferraris said:

I know it sounds like I’m making this up but I swear it’s the truth. It’s “normal” for my clients to address me or refer to me as “the girl” or “the blonde”, while my male colleagues are dr this and dr that. I don’t like titles but why can’t I be addressed at least by my name?

I don't think any woman professional is going to think you're "making this up."

It's maybe marginally better in my profession, which is not quite so male-dominated -- but there is still a marked difference in how women academics and male ones are approached by students and non-academics. Men tend to be treated as "respected professionals," whereas there is a kind of slightly-unwanted assumption of "intimacy" with women (for instance, a greater likelihood of not being addressed as "Dr." or "Professor," or having one's first name used).

It's changing, I think? But slooooooowly.

[Krystina Ferraris]

 @Scylla Rhiadra I completely agree regarding the implied or assumed “intimacy” when it comes to professional women. I honestly can’t understand why in 2023 we are still trying to figure that out. And it’s sad, on so many levels. There is great respect and camaraderie between us vets of all genders, it transcends nationalities and borders as it can be seen at conferences and LinkedIn professional groups. People learn from each other's work and experiences; I find it so cool that a vet in Iran tries to save animals’ lives too and they’re facing many of the same issues I’m facing. 
There’s hope that someday soon, people will give each other unconditional respect… 

[Love Zhaoying]

22 minutes ago, Krystina Ferraris said:

I know it sounds like I’m making this up but I swear it’s the truth. It’s “normal” for my clients to address me or refer to me as “the girl” or “the blonde”, while my male colleagues are dr this and dr that. I don’t like titles but why can’t I be addressed at least by my name?

Have you TRIED being less pretty?

..asking for a friend..

[Krystina Ferraris]

Just now, Love Zhaoying said:

Have you TRIED being less pretty?

..asking for a friend..

I never thought about it Love, I assumed that walking around in plastic overalls and wellies would be a sufficient turn off for most guys! 😉 

However… thank you!! 😉 ❤️

[Scylla Rhiadra]

5 minutes ago, Love Zhaoying said:

Have you TRIED being less pretty?

I can't speak for Krystina, but I have . . . and it's hopeless.

Try as I might, I am still fabulously gorgeous. 😕

Edited July 12, 2023 by Scylla Rhiadra

[Arielle Popstar]

2 hours ago, Scylla Rhiadra said:

My baba -- my Ukrainian grandmother -- emigrated from the "old country" when she was in her early 20s; her attitudes were already pretty clearly formed when she arrived in Canada. And some of those attitudes were horrific and appalling. She once told my dad not to grow a beard because "it made him look like a Jew." Her ideas were racist AF.

Considering what it meant to be jewish in the Ukraine in your grandmothers day, my compliments to her for her wisdom in her advice to your grandfather. I wouldn't have seen that as being racist but practical advice for those having lived in those occupied countries where there was a holocaust going on. One has wonder if wisdom and common sense are genetic.

 

 

[Scylla Rhiadra]

Just now, Arielle Popstar said:

Considering what it meant to be jewish in the Ukraine in your grandmothers day, my compliments to her for her wisdom in her advice to your grandfather. I wouldn't have seen that as being racist but practical advice for those having lived in those occupied countries where there was a holocaust going on. One has wonder if wisdom and common sense are genetic.

 

 

You can give me some credit, perhaps, for knowing my own grandmother well?

Her attitudes were racist -- that was far from the only instance of it, and I experienced it a great deal firsthand too.

On the other hand, to reiterate, she herself was a lovely, and very accepting woman. She didn't actively question the views she'd been brought up with. She just didn't let the interfere with her actual enjoyment of people.

[Rowan Amore]

🙄

Taking bets on how soon the thread gets locked now.  Ya know, considering.

On topic..."It's really hard to underestimate you."  is a backhanded compliment that doesn't get used nearly enough.

[Scylla Rhiadra]

Just now, Rowan Amore said:

Taking bets on how soon the thread gets locked now.  Ya know, considering.

Here's one!

"Wow, you're really good at making a thread all your own!"

[Arielle Popstar]

6 minutes ago, Scylla Rhiadra said:

You can give me some credit, perhaps, for knowing my own grandmother well?

Maybe so but in the context you mentioned it, it came across as a slight of your grandmother in spite of it being entirely appropriate in the sort of environment she would have been brought up in. Did the rest of your post qualify it as a backhanded compliment of her?

[Scylla Rhiadra]

2 minutes ago, Arielle Popstar said:

Maybe so but in the context you mentioned it, it came across as a slight of your grandmother in spite of it being entirely appropriate in the sort of environment she would have been brought up in. Did the rest of your post qualify it as a backhanded compliment of her?

Wow, Arielle. You really just . . . go for it, sometimes, don't you?

[Arielle Popstar]

Just now, Scylla Rhiadra said:

Wow, Arielle. You really just . . . go for it, sometimes, don't you?

Taking after you!

[Ceka Cianci]

Is it hot in here or is it me again?

Edited July 12, 2023 by Ceka Cianci

[Scylla Rhiadra]

2 minutes ago, Ceka Cianci said:

Is it hot in here or is it me again?

I'll leave the door ajar on my way out. Possibly it'll get a bit of a cleansing breeze!

[Marigold Devin]

Tonight I had a lovely compliment from a little boy of around three or four years old. He said "I like your flowers" and pointed to the flowers on my top. I said "Why thank you, young man, you are very sweet." He then pointed at his shoes and said "My shoes have dinosaurs on them", so I said how much I liked them (they were nice shoes, but unfortunately don't come in my size  ).

 

[Orwar]

1 hour ago, Krystina Ferraris said:

I never thought about it Love, I assumed that walking around in plastic overalls and wellies would be a sufficient turn off for most guys! 😉 

   Are there pictures?

   .. Also asking for a friend ..

[Ceka Cianci]

21 minutes ago, Scylla Rhiadra said:

I'll leave the door ajar on my way out. Possibly it'll get a bit of a cleansing breeze!

I could have used a good breeze early today.. It was so hot at work today because the AC went out..

I should have posted back then rather than now..  hehehe

 

[Love Zhaoying]

1 hour ago, Krystina Ferraris said:

I never thought about it Love, I assumed that walking around in plastic overalls and wellies would be a sufficient turn off for most guys! 😉 

However… thank you!! 😉 ❤️

It probably helps if you don't wear anything under your overalls. I'm just sayin'.
ETA: Maybe some guys are turned on by the smell of..horse dung..? * whinnies *

Edited July 12, 2023 by Love Zhaoying

[Love Zhaoying]

42 minutes ago, Scylla Rhiadra said:

I'll leave the door ajar on my way out. Possibly it'll get a bit of a cleansing breeze!

You  may have to burn some sage..!

[Marigold Devin]

1 hour ago, Ceka Cianci said:

I could have used a good breeze early today.. It was so hot at work today because the AC went out..

I should have posted back then rather than now..  hehehe

 

Ought to go on the pet peeves thread too, the way fridges and air conditioning breaks down in hot weather and central heating breaks down in winter.

[Jaylinbridges]

6 hours ago, Scylla Rhiadra said:

And I don't care if it is from Sid: my objections are not to him, but to the content of his posts.

Doubletalk.  Sid wrote the content from his own observations in his life, and stuck to it, as he should.  I love you, it's just what you say that I hate.  Hey, another backhanded "compliment".

[Ted McGregor]

Never in history the way to a woman's heart .. SL or RL ..  could be considered an unsurpassable minefield. Never !

How did Sid even dare imply complimenting women nowadays is ... oops, strike that is please .. can be as exciting to men as dismantling Fatboy while being tied onto it as the Enola Gay flies off shrieking 'Revenge!', completely liberated of her load ?

Men have been rightfully executed for less, mind you ...

 

To Sid : No longer waste your time on this. Hail the courage of the spouse of the black widow, my friend. Find support in his loyalty to life instead of his wife. It is how it is.

 

 

 

ETA : Yes, this is meant sarcastically.

 

PS Please don't tell my wife I have been posting in the forums. She'll kill me.

PS2 Honey, if you read this .. errr.. I love you .. ❤️

PS3 Imma dead man ..

 

Edited July 14, 2023 by Ted McGregor

[InnerCity Elf]

On 7/13/2023 at 12:21 AM, Scylla Rhiadra said:

I'll leave the door ajar on my way out. Possibly it'll get a bit of a cleansing breeze!

... 🤔 If/once SL, and tech in general, will evolve as far as having affordable realistic scent experience ...

"You're always such a breath of fresh air, darling"

to the person with FAR too much perfume/aftershave on themself, on your way to open your RL window WIDE.

[Caitlin Tobias]

In SL: 'You look amazing. Have you tried wearing human ears? You would look more realistic! '

Yeah, no. I don't need to look 'more realistic', thank you.

 

In RL: any compliment followed by '...for your age' makes me cringe.