superpeeve Oh my Gawd! - Totally unOfficial Pet Peeve Thread.

[Scylla Rhiadra]

2 hours ago, Luna Bliss said:

I like what you wrote (the whole post), but are you sure people are actually compelled to listen and think about it?  Do you have evidence of people doing so?

Insofar as they respond, and often quite thoughtfully, yes.

That was my experience 15 or so years ago here: once I'd established a "voice" that seemed to invite actual discussion, I was able not merely to comment from a feminist perspective on any number of things, but also actually start threads that developed into often quite worthwhile discussions. (My first stumbling efforts here, which were influenced by my experience in the more rarified bubbles of online feminist communities, were pretty uncompromising and frequently read as "angry" and doctrinaire.)

I'd still get -- still do get -- a fair amount of what I suppose one might call "hate." But no one who dismisses me as a "feminazi" is likely to be open to learning new perspectives anyway. Most people here, then and now, are reasonable and open to discussion.

I have to say, too, that those discussions also educated me. My attitude towards things like D/s and BDSM is still not uncomplicated, but it's a better informed, and even more sympathetic view than it was before I started here.

Edited May 23 by Scylla Rhiadra
Autocorrect

[Ayashe Ninetails]

2 minutes ago, Love Zhaoying said:

I bought a lot of the food people suggested in my recent "food thread", and rezzed it all out in my current build!

It looks goooood right? Keep an eye out for Dust Bunny sales. I don't remember if they happen every year, but when they do, the whoooooooole stoooooooore gets marked down to 50L each. It's soooooooo goooooood.

Apple Fall ran a 50L Marketplace sale at least once, too, but I don't even remember how I heard about that one.

Peeve: Too many sales to keep up with, honestly.

[Scylla Rhiadra]

2 minutes ago, Love Zhaoying said:

And yet, surely thou art a Siren!

There are certainly some who have said so.

Earplugs not included.

[brodiac90]

8 minutes ago, Love Zhaoying said:

And yet, surely thou art a Siren!

Peeve: That some may say they listen, merely to stop the Siren-Song! @Scylla Rhiadra

Pftt. 

Peeve: People just straight out tryin to murder your avi. 🤣

[Luna Bliss]

5 minutes ago, Ayashe Ninetails said:

Dust Bunny sales

Thanks for reminding me of them...I need to get back there...

[Zalificent Corvinus]

37 minutes ago, brodiac90 said:

Oh let me try it. Ahem (coughs) and puts on zal voice. 

Peeve: Rabble rabble, roar roar, child avatar child avatar, rabble rabble, walking TOS violation, blah blah blah tiny terror tot gang blah blah blah.... 

Did I get it? 

Not really, that's what's known as a "gratuitous personal attack", those get reported to the mods.

Y'all have a nice day..

[Luna Bliss]

 

 

[Zalificent Corvinus]

34 minutes ago, Love Zhaoying said:

I'll say it! @brodiac90, PLEASE don't pattern your Peeves and Rants after a certain someone!!!

Yeah, there's a limit to how much criminally unfunny failed one line dad joke spam the human mind can withstand before people start hunting wild animals with spears.

 

[brodiac90]

3 minutes ago, Zalificent Corvinus said:

Not really, that's what's known as a "gratuitous personal attack", those get reported to the mods.

Y'all have a nice day..

Apologies if I caused any offense Zal. 

[Love Zhaoying]

14 minutes ago, Scylla Rhiadra said:

There are certainly some who have said so.

Earplugs not included.

Peeve: I thought this was about Sirens.

 

[Zalificent Corvinus]

Just now, brodiac90 said:

Apologies if I caused any offense Zal. 

[Love Zhaoying]

2 minutes ago, Zalificent Corvinus said:

37 minutes ago, Love Zhaoying said:

I'll say it! @brodiac90, PLEASE don't pattern your Peeves and Rants after a certain someone!!!

Yeah, there's a limit to how much criminally unfunny failed one line dad joke spam the human mind can withstand before people start hunting wild animals with spears.

Peeve: My post could be taken many ways, as in, "don't mock Zal!"

[Love Zhaoying]

11 minutes ago, brodiac90 said:

Pftt. 

Peeve: People just straight out tryin to murder your avi. 🤣

Peeve: Oh? And do they proclaim you'd "make a fine rug"?

 

[Luna Bliss]

https://feelmoreconnected.com/benefits-of-connecting-with-others/

[Scylla Rhiadra]

11 minutes ago, Love Zhaoying said:

Peeve: I thought this was about Sirens.

Bear in mind that the mythological Scylla wasn't exactly what one would call "a looker" . . .

[Love Zhaoying]

41 minutes ago, Scylla Rhiadra said:

Bear in mind that the mythological Scylla wasn't exactly what one would call "a looker" . . .

Wow, now that's a coincidence, as I had no idea "Scylla" was a mythical "person", let alone a "mer-person/siren"!

 

[Ayashe Ninetails]

32 minutes ago, Scylla Rhiadra said:

Bear in mind that the mythological Scylla wasn't exactly what one would call "a looker" . . .

If you think that's bad, you'll probably be peeved about her depiction in Hades 2, I'm just sayin'...

There ya go, peeve away!

No but seriously, I was a little miffed by that one myself and couldn't really place what in the world inspired all that. I normally dig that game's art style but...yeah. They did our girl dirty with that one. 😄

[Rat Luv]

1 hour ago, Love Zhaoying said:

Wow, now that's a coincidence, as I had no idea "Scylla" was a mythical "person", let alone a "mer-person/siren"!

Don't forget the cat fish 

[Fauve Aeon]

26 minutes ago, Rat Luv said:

Don't forget the cat fish 

ok but he cute doh...here kitty kitty...

 

Peeve: summer heat lightning weather. Too early in the year for it and unseasonable weather makes people uneasy.

[Rolig Loon]

6 hours ago, Scylla Rhiadra said:

In the old days, we had a troll who excelled, to the extent that he nearly dominated the forum, at being amusingly sarcastic and nasty. He frankly wasn't (isn't, in fact -- he still trolls me on Twitter a bit) all that bright, and his "arguments" were frequently half-digested bits and pieces he'd quickly googled -- but he had an entertaining style.

Hmmm... I would have to stretch very hard to call his style "entertaining". He was a sarcastic bully and he thrived in an era of extremely lax moderation. I have seen nothing like it since I ended my own self-imposed vacation from General Discussion in about 2014, and I hope I never do. The occasional spats and fireworks we see here now are nothing in comparison.

[Istelathis]

I am going to have to check out the wayback machine and figure out who this mysterious stranger is that you are talking about.

[Scylla Rhiadra]

32 minutes ago, Istelathis said:

I am going to have to check out the wayback machine and figure out who this mysterious stranger is that you are talking about.

You know that part of the teen slasher flick where the attractive young girl hears something in the basement, discovers the light doesn't work, but decides to investigate anyway?

Don't be that girl, Stella. Please.

[Istelathis]

1 minute ago, Scylla Rhiadra said:

You know that part of the teen slasher flick where the attractive young girl hears something in the basement, discovers the light doesn't work, but decides to investigate anyway?

Don't be that girl, Stella. Please.

I was not having any luck anyway, wayback was running into issues.  Thank you for the warning though  

[Scylla Rhiadra]

1 hour ago, Rolig Loon said:

Hmmm... I would have to stretch very hard to call his style "entertaining". He was a sarcastic bully and he thrived in an era of extremely lax moderation. I have seen nothing like it since I ended my own self-imposed vacation from General Discussion in about 2014, and I hope I never do. The occasional spats and fireworks we see here now are nothing in comparison.

I'd not disagree -- in fact, I remember once actually telling him he'd made me laugh, because it was fairly rare. But he had a bantering style that self-evidently appealed to a great many people. I'd like to think that those who enjoyed his posts were not also somewhat attracted to his nastiness, but there is of course a human fascination with car crashes. And there may also have been an element of wanting to avoid becoming a target themselves? Or just relief that it was someone else who was suffering?

He and I interacted a lot. I was not so much a "target" as a favourite foil, and foolishly I too often let him provoke me into a sparring match, when what I should have done, of course, was ignore him. When I returned after a couple of year's absence in 2013, I discovered happily that I'd become somewhat immune to that effect. I am sincerely and genuinely embarrassed now that I let him get under my skin as often as i did: many of my most cringe-worthy moments here were the result of his goading.

But what I remember most about him now was his wanton and deliberate cruelty. Like any bully, he'd choose a victim, and harass them unrelentingly, most usually with the assistance of a half a dozen or so of his little circle. And, of course, the more visibly his victims displayed distress, the harder he came on. This isn't the time or place for stories, but there were some pretty horrific instances of his behaviour -- mostly involving women here -- that will remain forever etched in my mind.

Peeve: the human willingness, apparently, to tolerate or even enjoy really toxic behaviours.

Anti-peeve: the fact that we now seem to be much less willing to do so here.

Edited May 24 by Scylla Rhiadra

[Roxy Couturier]

10 hours ago, Scylla Rhiadra said:

My initial experiences here were, to put it mildly, not pleasant.

Partly that was my fault -- I didn't gauge the community here very well, nor use the kind of language that was appropriate to the place -- and partly that was the fault of the then forumites, who were frankly pretty intolerant of the kind of perspective that I had to offer.

Despite experiencing some very nasty pile-ons and toxicity, I decided to stick with it, and to make an effort to integrate myself into the community here -- without compromising my perspective. I moderated my language somewhat, and engaged in discussions that were not merely political to demonstrate that I wasn't a one-trick pony nor monomaniacal about my feminism.

I remember those days. I'd like to think that your perspective on some activities in SL also shifted. You slowly came around to at least thinking about the idea that one can be into BDSM and still be a feminist. There was also your helping in championing the whole anti-RedZone fiasco. YOUR arguments against it helped hone my own. If I never did so, I want to thank you for that.

(FYI, about 2016 or so, I'd found the one, and only so far, place that had me banned from back then. I messaged the owner and they had no idea why I was on their ban list. All those people banning us and it amounted to a very minor inconvenience.)

I'd also like to think that we're friends of a sort. I, for my part, have a respect for your POV and have grown to like you. I certainly feel I could argue a point with you and know that at the very least, I was heard.

10 hours ago, Scylla Rhiadra said:

Much depends on what you want to accomplish, I think.

In the old days, we had a troll who excelled, to the extent that he nearly dominated the forum, at being amusingly sarcastic and nasty. He frankly wasn't (isn't, in fact -- he still trolls me on Twitter a bit) all that bright, and his "arguments" were frequently half-digested bits and pieces he'd quickly googled -- but he had an entertaining style.

I don't think he was very good at "persuading" people to one view or another, but then that wasn't what he was about: his main aim was a sort of narcissistic compulsion to be liked and well-regarded. And at that he succeeded, because he could be funny and entertaining. (Those who liked him, and there are still some who have suggested they "miss" him here, tended to turn a blind eye to how really deliberately cruel and nasty he could be.)

So, being unpleasant can sometimes be a ticket to a kind of "success."

But if you want to engage in actual discussion, and maybe even change the way people think or understand things, I don't think unpleasantness and intolerance are really a very effective strategy.

Your assessment is spot on. The problem, at least for me, is walking the line between 'nice' and 'unloading' because I'm tired of that sort of crap. Which leads me to..

Obligatory Peeve: Posters that change the body of their post without indicating the reason for the edit. Those are the people that need each and every post quoted so there's an actual record of what they said the first time.