Why does it matter?

[Maryanne Solo]

Reality is 2022.
The tired old trick of using civilised societies words and applying different meanings to them failed a looooong time ago.
Hellloooo? 

[Kathlen Onyx]

1 minute ago, entity0x said:

See this is where vocabulary and comprehension matters.

The word 'conservative' has a very clear definition and it's use in context:

"marked by or relating to traditional norms of taste, elegance, style, or manners"

Fishnets, slinky boots, harnesses, piercings are not considered conservative.

It's not MY definition, it is a definition that is defined and agreed upon and accepted widely, as to facilitate proper communication between people, and to help understanding.

 

In WHAT Era?? SEE the difference?

Conservative dressed in 1900 vs Conservative dressed in 2022

 

 

[Luna Bliss]

[Silent Mistwalker]

31 minutes ago, Rowan Amore said:

I rarely do either.  Funny thing is, I distinctly remember my mom being the one riding the lawnmower when I was little.  Another one of those things that got her out of the house, without us kids, for some quality alone time.

When there is a need and a riding mower present, I was always the one to mow the 2 acres that needed mowing. Did my fair share of bushhogging, too. Slung a few bales of hay and a couple of alfalfa even when I was told by my boss that I wouldn't be able to sling the alfalfa. And I'm still 5' 3/4" and 115/120 lbs.

[Ceka Cianci]

3 minutes ago, Sam1 Bellisserian said:

In WHAT Era?? SEE the difference?

Conservative dressed in 1900 vs Conservative dressed in 2022

 

 

No fair using the preachers daughter as an example!! \o/

hehehe

[Arielle Popstar]

17 minutes ago, Sam1 Bellisserian said:

So I'm guessing you would also believe that if a woman walks down a dark alley at midnight in her bathing suit she is asking to be sexually assaulted and she's partly to blame? That's what I hear from what you just posted.

Certainly would be wondering if she was drunk or just that silly to be putting herself in such a vulnerable position. There are sickie's out there and without using a modicum of wisdom any reasonable man or woman would have to question what was going through the girl's mind to not realize the position she was putting herself in, in spite of any laws to the contrary.

[Coffee Pancake]

1 minute ago, Arielle Popstar said:

Certainly would be wondering if she was drunk or just that silly to be putting herself in such a vulnerable position. There are sickie's out there and without using a modicum of wisdom any reasonable man or woman would have to question what was going through the girl's mind to not realize the position she was putting herself in, in spite of any laws to the contrary.

There is no excuse. NONE.

[Luna Bliss]

1 minute ago, Arielle Popstar said:

23 minutes ago, Sam1 Bellisserian said:

So I'm guessing you would also believe that if a woman walks down a dark alley at midnight in her bathing suit she is asking to be sexually assaulted and she's partly to blame? That's what I hear from what you just posted.

Certainly would be wondering if she was drunk or just that silly to be putting herself in such a vulnerable position. There are sickie's out there and without using a modicum of wisdom any reasonable man or woman would have to question what was going through the girl's mind to not realize the position she was putting herself in, in spite of any laws to the contrary.

Sexual abuse happens because the abuser wants to control and abuse -- it doesn't happen because of sexual desire.

[Luna Bliss]

flaky router

Edited April 20, 2022 by Luna Bliss

[Theresa Tennyson]

31 minutes ago, entity0x said:

No need to villainize or victimize a group based on this, but to realize that yes, how we act how we dress, where we go at what hour, what neighbourhood, and with who ALL has an effect, and one MUST TAKE RESPONSIBILITY to make decisions to keep themselves safe.

https://www.safeaustin.org/what-was-i-wearing/

[Codex Alpha]

25 minutes ago, Sam1 Bellisserian said:

In WHAT Era?? SEE the difference?

Conservative dressed in 1900 vs Conservative dressed in 2022

 

 

I'll see your 2 pictures and raise you 900+ more accurate and real world examples of Conservative Fashion

Really, I shouldn't even have to do this. We have a definition to agree on, we have examples of the context and fashion of.. so why do you continue to argue the meaning and context of a word as your only response?

Edited April 20, 2022 by entity0x

[Maryanne Solo]

One wouldn't necessarily expect depraved to be hiding in the shadows either? 
No matter what was transpiring.

[Arielle Popstar]

1 minute ago, Coffee Pancake said:

There is no excuse. NONE.

In a perfect world maybe, but we haven't attained that nirvana collectively so until that time, best to use some wisdom.

[Luna Bliss]

Grannies in their 80's and 90's get r-a-p-e-d.  Think of all of it going on in wars all the time.  Guys are just especially aroused in such cases?

No...it's violence...women's bodies are just a way to manifest control of another.

[Arielle Popstar]

1 minute ago, Luna Bliss said:

Sexual abuse happens because the abuser wants to control and abuse -- it doesn't happen because of sexual desire.

Whatever, one should still use some common sense that one hopefully is instilled with while growing up. We have plenty of protective devices we use to protect ourselves with from being hurt by the intent or negligence of others.

[Persephone Emerald]

5 hours ago, Luna Bliss said:

One dynamic I still notice in society is that often women are viewed as simply existing for men's pleasure. As one example I'm thinking of the cat-calls -- the whistle, shout, or comment of a sexual nature to a woman passing by -- as if in their mind a woman's existence is only as an object for them to sexually evaluate as she walks down the street. So perhaps these types of crude men merely see women as, well, a piece of meat existing for their pleasure and nothing more.

Weirdly, I can't also quote the posts about how the way a woman dresses signals to men that she's ripe for the picking, but I want to address this idea in terms of how we choose to present ourselves in SL. 

In RL women often have to be careful of how they dress, lest they be seen as indecent or vulnerable. In RL we also grow up with Barbie dolls in short skirts and nearly every woman we see on TV and in movies dressed as being attractive and sexy. Of course many of us would like to look hot and be able to wear such sexy clothes in RL. Maybe we did look that sexy when we were younger in RL, and SL lets us recapture this youth. Maybe we never did, and SL lets us live out this fantasy. This is one of the reasons that SL is great, that we can look and act however we want (within reason). If women have to be careful of how they dress and where they go alone in RL, they absolutely should not have to hold onto these same fears in a virtual world.

If a man thinks a sexy-looking cartoon avatar is asking to be harassed, he's wrong, plain and simple. If my avatar is dressed in a short dress that shows a bit of cleavage, it doesn't mean I'm looking for SL sex. If I were looking for SL sex, I wouldn't be walking or flying around a Moderate residential neighborhood. I might  be walking around an Adult beach or some other Adult sim, but even then I might just be looking around, not looking for a  hook-up. 

Everyone is free to think whatever they think when they see another avatar, whether that avatar is female, male, or whatever, and no matter how that avatar is dressed. What they think does not give them the right to say whatever pops into their head however. We should always remember that avatars are real people behind these cartoons. If you wouldn't want your daughter, wife, mother or grandmother to be sexually harassed, then DON'T BE THAT GUY to another person you see in SL either.

[Arielle Popstar]

4 minutes ago, Maryanne Solo said:

One wouldn't necessarily expect depraved to be hiding in the shadows either? 
No matter what was transpiring.

Noooo, not at all in a dark alley at midnight!

[Luna Bliss]

1 minute ago, Arielle Popstar said:

5 minutes ago, Luna Bliss said:

Sexual abuse happens because the abuser wants to control and abuse -- it doesn't happen because of sexual desire.

Whatever, one should still use some common sense that one hopefully is instilled with while growing up. We have plenty of protective devices we use to protect ourselves with from being hurt by the intent or negligence of others.

There's nothing protective when someone wants to abuse you. It wouldn't matter how you were dressed in that dark alley.

[Ayashe Ninetails]

3 minutes ago, Sam1 Bellisserian said:

In WHAT Era?? SEE the difference?

Yup. Not only that, but in what community? I mean in a few of mine, it's quite traditional wearing everything I described, and all that is still relatively "conservative." And if someone acted a fool around women in a club for their choice of outfit, they'd promptly get yeeted by security.

Walking around SL is no different. Except I'm my own security and I yeet a lot faster.

[Arielle Popstar]

1 minute ago, Luna Bliss said:

There's nothing protective when someone wants to abuse you. It wouldn't matter how you were dressed in that dark alley.

Exactly, that was mistake number 1, number 2 was doing it at midnight and the icing on the cake is number 3 with the bikini. What woman in her right mind would do that?

[Kathlen Onyx]

10 minutes ago, Arielle Popstar said:

Certainly would be wondering if she was drunk or just that silly to be putting herself in such a vulnerable position. There are sickie's out there and without using a modicum of wisdom any reasonable man or woman would have to question what was going through the girl's mind to not realize the position she was putting herself in, in spite of any laws to the contrary.

It doesn't matter what the reason would be for her being there. None in the least.  You are assuming that ...I can't even respond to this it's so ridiculous. 

[Ceka Cianci]

2 minutes ago, Luna Bliss said:

There's nothing protective when someone wants to abuse you. It wouldn't matter how you were dressed in that dark alley.

Well, there might be one way..

Hey Ceka, where you going, we gotta get to the beach before the parking sucks!..

Ceka: I think I seen a cute lil puppy down this alley, BRB!

 

hehehe

[Cali Souther]

1 hour ago, entity0x said:

I'm assuming that you are conservatively dressed, and just doing your thing and not actually dressed up as a 'sex-toy' looking sexually provocatively styled avatar which of course would gain that attention?

Cuz remember, there are lots of stories of  unwanted attention, yet one party or the other were dressed a certain way - and attracting a certain group of people.

Just as much as some would see a 'sexy' avatar and assume it's for sexy-time purposes and approach with that in mind, vs such as myself - not in Second Life for any of that, not interested in sex palaces, sex beds or sex play, but just creating and sharing with people.

Deny it at your own peril - how you present yourself can certainly affect how others see and treat you - and who you attract.

Don't want to attract sex-hungry 'dogs', then don't present yourself as a slab of meat

 

Be it right or wrong,  there is some truth to this.....   If I go out in a sexy avatar,  the chances of getting hit on for Slex are much higher,  because some people still view it that way  (as an invitation).

I certainly do not condone this behavior or see it as a valid excuse for treating someone a certain way,  but I will admit it happens.

I posted along these lines in another thread,  trying to make a joke ... but no one laughed.   I need to work on my sense of humor (obviously) - but ...     I still wear whatever I am in the mood for when I go into SL.   

Just because I feel like being a sexy bioch (sometimes) in SL - doesn't mean I'm interested in being picked up - it just means it is more likely to happen.

 

 

 

Edited April 20, 2022 by Cali Souther

[Maryanne Solo]

I'm responsible for cancelling the courses of quite a few students that suffered from the same dysfunction, issues & hatreds displayed here and who repeatedly insulted and disrespected young female students by way of threats, actions language etc.
I'll do it again gladly in ten seconds time if I have to.
 

[Fluffy Sharkfin]

7 minutes ago, Arielle Popstar said:

We have plenty of protective devices we use to protect ourselves with from being hurt by the intent or negligence of others.

Yes, and the very existence of those devices should act as a constant, visible reminder that society as a whole is in need of reform, but some people cite their existence as a way to justify the actions of those with ill-intent and that's why it's a terrible argument to make regardless of whether your own intent is good or bad.