How NOT to make friends

[Drakonadrgora Darkfold]

4 minutes ago, Bagnu said:

I never wanted or needed to hide lol!!!  I did very well in school!!! I've always been "controversial" both RL and SL. It's my thing!!!

i hated school most of my life it kept me from the funner things.. like morning and afternoon cartoons.. sleeping when ever wanted..eating whenever wanted..

I found the majority of school and what was taught there boring and meaningless. just a lot of useless information I would never use in my life. and to this day, most of what was taught I still dont need or use. school didn't teach you how to live.. it taught you how to be a good little robot. how not to think for yourself. how to accept what ever dogma that someone wanted to shove down your throat as if it was the only truth of how things had to be.

[Bagnu]

9 minutes ago, Drakonadrgora Darkfold said:

i hated school most of my life it kept me from the funner things.. like morning and afternoon cartoons.. sleeping when ever wanted..eating whenever wanted..

I found the majority of school and what was taught there boring and meaningless. just a lot of useless information I would never use in my life. and to this day, most of what was taught I still dont need or use. school didn't teach you how to live.. it taught you how to be a good little robot. how not to think for yourself. how to accept what ever dogma that someone wanted to shove down your throat as if it was the only truth of how things had to be.

I agree. We just had to play the game. My teachers knew full well though that I wasn't willing to accept dogma. I'm surprised i wasn't expelled!!! Maybe because my marks were so high.

Edited June 23, 2020 by Bagnu

[Madelaine McMasters]

5 minutes ago, Bagnu said:

15 minutes ago, Drakonadrgora Darkfold said:

i hated school most of my life it kept me from the funner things.. like morning and afternoon cartoons.. sleeping when ever wanted..eating whenever wanted..

I found the majority of school and what was taught there boring and meaningless. just a lot of useless information I would never use in my life. and to this day, most of what was taught I still dont need or use. school didn't teach you how to live.. it taught you how to be a good little robot. how not to think for yourself. how to accept what ever dogma that someone wanted to shove down your throat as if it was the only truth of how things had to be.

I agree. We just had to play the game. My teachers knew full well though that I wasn't willing to accept dogma. I'm surprised i wasn't expelled!!! Maybe because my marks were so high.

My parents took me to a pre-school when I was four, following the budding suburban parenting path of the day. It didn't take me long to throw a tantrum because none of the other kids could read. As a result, I was home schooled. It's hard to beat a teacher/student ratio of 2/1.

[Lindal Kidd]

4 hours ago, Drakonadrgora Darkfold said:

I found the majority of school and what was taught there boring and meaningless. just a lot of useless information I would never use in my life. and to this day, most of what was taught I still dont need or use. school didn't teach you how to live.. it taught you how to be a good little robot. how not to think for yourself. how to accept what ever dogma that someone wanted to shove down your throat as if it was the only truth of how things had to be.

Yes, and no.  It's true that most schools don't teach you how to live or think for yourself.  But ALL knowledge is useful, even if you don't use all those facts very often.  People need to know something about where we came from and what we have done.  They need to know at least one language thoroughly, and preferably more than one.  They need to know as much mathematics as they can absorb, and something about the world and the universe we live in.  On top of that, we need to acquire skill in at least one area that will let us earn a living, and preferably more than one.

If you don't have a good grounding in math, history, language, geography, logic, and some basic sciences, you're no better equipped than your ancestors of 3,000 years ago.

Besides, some of this stuff is FUN, especially if you're doing it on your own and not for a midterm grade.

[Drakonadrgora Darkfold]

10 minutes ago, Lindal Kidd said:

Yes, and no.  It's true that most schools don't teach you how to live or think for yourself.  But ALL knowledge is useful, even if you don't use all those facts very often.  People need to know something about where we came from and what we have done.  They need to know at least one language thoroughly, and preferably more than one.  They need to know as much mathematics as they can absorb, and something about the world and the universe we live in.  On top of that, we need to acquire skill in at least one area that will let us earn a living, and preferably more than one.

If you don't have a good grounding in math, history, language, geography, logic, and some basic sciences, you're no better equipped than your ancestors of 3,000 years ago.

Besides, some of this stuff is FUN, especially if you're doing it on your own and not for a midterm grade.

I have to disagree you can learn skills that can let you support yourself without any of the teaching gotten from basic schools. before there was schools people knew how to survive well enough and even lived well.

Not all knowledge is useful. Unless your going to go into a job related to history, knowing world history or even the history of any nation or the state or city you live in is not really needed. 

needing to know more than one language is debatable as well. Its only important if you intend to ever travel abroad or work somewhere outside of your native language.

and you really dont need to know a lot of math to survive in this world. just the basics. you dont need trigonometry or calculus or even algebra to survive in this world.

geography is only needed if you intend to travel away from where you live, otherwise its not really needed either.

no need to know anything about the universe in general either. its not needed to be known to live a happy life.

basic communication skills, basic logic  yes; but not even basic science is needed to live. you dont need to know the chemical components of water..

astrology.. unimportant.. unless you hope to one day leave the world..  human anatomy unimportant unless you want to be a doctor.

the problem with schools is they dont teach practical skills and knowledge needed to live. they teach a lot of skills that many people will never need to live.

basic money handling skills.. basic cooking skills, is what is needed to be taught at schools.. schools dont prepare people for the real world good enough..

you shouldn't be forced to learn things you wont use in your life. schools should teach only what the individual wants and needs to live. everything else should be just icing on the cake, addons if that person wants to pursue those areas, not forced to learn. given as options not requirements.

the real purpose of schools..is daycare so parents can work..until the child grows of age to join the workforce.. plus its just an institution of brainwashing to make you be a better robot for the workforce. teach you to limit yourself and do as your told in a timely manner.. aka be a robot..

what is really needed is a more thorough aptitude test be given at certain ages to see what the individuals skills are and what might be better suited for them then focus teaching based upon those things.

[Lindal Kidd]

I'm sorry, but I think you're way wrong.

No, you don't need all this knowledge to simply live.  Our caveman ancestors are proof of that.  But we have all of this back story and knowledge.  We can stand on the shoulders of giants, and accomplish so much more than simply living...but only if we make the effort to scramble up their backs and onto their shoulders.  Two examples:

Math.  No, you don't need anything more than the ability to make change to "get by".  But math stretches your mind, and gives you tools that teach you how to think accurately and logically.  It even gives you useful tools for everyday situations.  Trig can come in handy if you need to determine the height of a building without climbing it, for example.  Algebra is useful if you want to meet a friend at a certain place at a certain time, and the two of you are starting from different points.  And what if you plan to travel the world by sailboat, or get your pilot's license?  Both require quite a lot of math, and you can't assume that you'll always have that handy electronic gadget to do it for you.

Languages.  Again, simply knowing your own native language well is enough to "get by".  But what do you do if you want to travel to another country?  What if you host an exchange student?  Don't you want to know what those funny minority people are whispering about you behind your back?  Besides all that, languages encode people's basic concepts and the way they think about the world.  Knowing more than one expands your mental horizons and your understanding enormously.

[Colt Leeder]

I'm the greatest person at how not to make friends - be brutally honest about yourself in your profile.

Yep I am a right bad tempered person at times but that's because of the pain shooting up and down my leg screaming "hello I'm here".

Oddly enough my friend list is very - short.

 

Then againI do not collect "friends" I prefer to have old fashioned real friends - you know the ones who communicate and remember it is a two way thing.

Edited June 23, 2020 by Jon Nova

[clone00345]

1 hour ago, Lindal Kidd said:

I'm sorry, but I think you're way wrong.

No, you don't need all this knowledge to simply live.  Our caveman ancestors are proof of that.  But we have all of this back story and knowledge.  We can stand on the shoulders of giants, and accomplish so much more than simply living...but only if we make the effort to scramble up their backs and onto their shoulders.  Two examples:

Math.  No, you don't need anything more than the ability to make change to "get by".  But math stretches your mind, and gives you tools that teach you how to think accurately and logically.  It even gives you useful tools for everyday situations.  Trig can come in handy if you need to determine the height of a building without climbing it, for example.  Algebra is useful if you want to meet a friend at a certain place at a certain time, and the two of you are starting from different points.  And what if you plan to travel the world by sailboat, or get your pilot's license?  Both require quite a lot of math, and you can't assume that you'll always have that handy electronic gadget to do it for you.

Languages.  Again, simply knowing your own native language well is enough to "get by".  But what do you do if you want to travel to another country?  What if you host an exchange student?  Don't you want to know what those funny minority people are whispering about you behind your back?  Besides all that, languages encode people's basic concepts and the way they think about the world.  Knowing more than one expands your mental horizons and your understanding enormously.

I never had the need to determine height of a building not even once on my entire life.

if you want to meet a friend at a certain place at certain time math won't help, google maps might though as it will estimate current traffic conditions and tell you estimate time to get from point A to point B.

Not  many people have sail boats or need pilot license. A lot of people can barely afford to buy a car, forget about a boat.

Languages. What if you learned english but end up traveling to France or Germany? Same thing about an exchange student, how do you know what language that student will speak? If you wish to accommodate all life situations you would need to learn about a dozen languages. 

[Drakonadrgora Darkfold]

1 hour ago, Lindal Kidd said:

I'm sorry, but I think you're way wrong.

No, you don't need all this knowledge to simply live.  Our caveman ancestors are proof of that.  But we have all of this back story and knowledge.  We can stand on the shoulders of giants, and accomplish so much more than simply living...but only if we make the effort to scramble up their backs and onto their shoulders.  Two examples:

Math.  No, you don't need anything more than the ability to make change to "get by".  But math stretches your mind, and gives you tools that teach you how to think accurately and logically.  It even gives you useful tools for everyday situations.  Trig can come in handy if you need to determine the height of a building without climbing it, for example.  Algebra is useful if you want to meet a friend at a certain place at a certain time, and the two of you are starting from different points.  And what if you plan to travel the world by sailboat, or get your pilot's license?  Both require quite a lot of math, and you can't assume that you'll always have that handy electronic gadget to do it for you.

Languages.  Again, simply knowing your own native language well is enough to "get by".  But what do you do if you want to travel to another country?  What if you host an exchange student?  Don't you want to know what those funny minority people are whispering about you behind your back?  Besides all that, languages encode people's basic concepts and the way they think about the world.  Knowing more than one expands your mental horizons and your understanding enormously.

you can think that I am wrong but it does not make me wrong.

you do not need any of that extra knowledge to not only survive but live happily and comfortably.

all that backstory and history is meaningless unless you are interested in it. otherwise there is no reason to be forced to learn it.

you do not need math to stretch your mind or to be able to think logically or rationally or accurately.

you do not need any of the higher maths to live happily at all. not everyone is going to care how high some random building is. not everyone is going to be worried about meeting at exactly X time they are willing to wait if need be. Not everyone plans on traveling by boat or plane where they are in control so they dont need those extra maths.

no you dont have to care what abc and xyz are saying about you behind your back unless you have self esteem issues or let what others say affect you. unless you intend to interacting with those other people you dont need to know their language at all.

again all of what you listed are addons to life.. not requirements of life. not required to live a normal happy life at all. and should not be forced upon someone in school.

and its more than just cavemen that knew this. even back in the industrial age not everyone needed to know as much as they could.

and no not everyone cares or wants or needs to climb to greatness. some can be happy with the simple life. and that does not make them less important then anyone else. only the arrogant and delusional and narcissistic will think it does.

honestly you sound like some advertisement for some college with all you have said and how important it is...that you must think people need to go to college in order to live will or happily in life.. simply not true.

[Bagnu]

I see both Drakonadrgora and Lindal's points. I hated school. but did very well. I did and do love learning though. I didn't like the dogma and regimentation. Introductory courses are necessary to give students an idea if they like and are good at a subject or not. And for them to see if they might want to pursue something as a career. I think the argument is about practical vs theoretical  teaching and knowledge. I DO think though that not enough practical was and likely is, being taught!!!

For me, both are important, but not everyone is the same. We all have to follow what and who we are. We are all limited by our genetics and our environments.

I'm fortunate enough to have two first languages, and language influences our way of thinking. I read a bit on this a few years ago. An Italian/English speaking woman was at a therapist who could also speak both. They spoke English for their sessions, but he suggested they switch to Italian. She replied: "But I can't be depressed in Italian!" I totally understand that!!!

[Luna Bliss]

8 hours ago, Lindal Kidd said:

Besides all that, languages encode people's basic concepts and the way they think about the world.  Knowing more than one expands your mental horizons and your understanding enormously.

So true, and sounds like you've studied linguistics.

Each language carves up the world somewhat differently. So each language provides its speakers with a particular worldview that won’t be quite the same as the one that speakers of other languages have. In other words, we see the world according to the framework our language imposes on us. And so knowing only one language limits our perception of reality.

[Bagnu]

21 hours ago, Luna Bliss said:

Each language carves up the world somewhat differently. So each language provides its speakers with a particular worldview that won’t be quite the same as the one that speakers of other languages have. In other words, we see the world according to the framework our language imposes on us. And so knowing only one language limits our perception of reality.

I couldn't agree more, and know that from personal experience.The multiple languages have to learned from birth though for that to be fully true. Being in Canada, I was taught French as a third, and our final year of highschool french was novel study, and we had to write the exam fully in french. It never influenced my way of thinking, but of course environmental (i.e cultural) exposure is also a factor.

[rushingaround]

any random friend requests i turn down. or ones that start like this....

Wanna F@@k or  I want sex

[Bagnu]

8 hours ago, rushingaround said:

any random friend requests i turn down. or ones that start like this....

Wanna F@@k or  I want sex

I always ask about random friend requests, and those kind of sex requests usually turn out badly. They are mostly idiots, and want it for free lol!!!

[Caroline Takeda]

On 6/19/2020 at 7:44 PM, Orwar said:

   *That gives the term 'grammar Nazi' a new benchmark. Harrumphs. 

   Jokes aside, I don't find this particularly peculiar; and the statement isn't one that suggests a binary world where you either punctuate like a literary expert or never touch those keys on your keyboard - the occasional comma, to create a pause and set a cadence to your communication, makes it easier to understand and more difficult to misinterpret. Capitalising after full stops, at the start of new sentences, and when you use someone's name, makes it easier to read (and in the case of names, is avoiding being downright impolite) - especially in longer segments. The development of bicameral writing has been to our benefit, and to disregard this gives an air of ignorance and slothfulness.

   It's the same as with abbreviations; if you're so lazy that you can't even write out 'you' when addressing someone, chances are I won't find your brainless drivel of any interest. That said, I'm aware that there are people with various degrees of dyslexia, and people to whom English isn't their first language - I'm not a native English speaker myself - and I won't blatantly ignore people who fail to present acceptable English at first glance; but the vast majority of the communication I participate in here is entirely textual, and if you shift the effort of communication to me to try deciphering your half-arsed droning, I'm likely to lose interest fairly quickly. If one intends on spending any considerable amount of time trying to make friends and build relationships in Second Life, I don't think that it's too much to ask that you spend that tenth of a second to hit the comma key on occasion.

Yes, I am all with you on that.

But a "severe turn off" ?

[Nick0678]

"How NOT to make friends."

It's easy, you treat people with as much respect and honesty as you can but never let them control your schedule. Most will run like the wind.

If that's too harsh for them of course there's always an easier way regardless if it's a "friend", "date", "whatever".

(Hypothetical scenario but also happens a lot in SL)

 

Edited July 3, 2020 by Nick0678

[Bagnu]

7 hours ago, Nick0678 said:

"How NOT to make friends."

It's easy, you treat people with as much respect and honesty as you can but never let them control your schedule. Most will run like the wind.

If that's too harsh for them of course there's always an easier way regardless if it's a "friend", "date", "whatever".

(Hypothetical scenario but also happens a lot in SL)

 

This could be the reason I don't become involved in any relationship in SL other than friendships. The exception, of course, is sex. Escorts don't get involved with their clients. That would be unprofessional.

[Pussycat Catnap]

On 6/1/2020 at 9:30 AM, Skell Dagger said:

It's one thing to refer people; I'm fine with that. It's when someone's first approach is to offer friendship out of the blue that I get irritated.

Just to randomly blame this on something that didn't exist until years after this problem was a thing...

Try to message a random person for help in Discord. Say somebody has said "Hey, message me in Discord for [xyz] about this game we're all playing"

- good odds you can't.

You have to friend them first, unless by random chance you and they are already on the same board somewhere together...

 

I have to wonder how common that configuration is in other social media...

It obviously wasn't the cause of this issue in SL because Discord is new by SL standards. But it's certainly not helping things in today's climate where Discord seems to be where everything happens...

 

[YungCoconut Leeder]

yea people who have nothing to talk about or you have to sit around and ask them all the questions, and that is the only thing that happens. i'm utterly confused.

i'm an introvert but surely introverts and walls are different.

[Paladin Tyran]

On 6/23/2020 at 9:00 AM, Drakonadrgora Darkfold said:

Not all knowledge is useful. Unless your going to go into a job related to history, knowing world history or even the history of any nation or the state or city you live in is not really needed. 

needing to know more than one language is debatable as well. Its only important if you intend to ever travel abroad or work somewhere outside of your native language.

and you really dont need to know a lot of math to survive in this world. just the basics. you dont need trigonometry or calculus or even algebra to survive in this world.

geography is only needed if you intend to travel away from where you live, otherwise its not really needed either.

no need to know anything about the universe in general either. its not needed to be known to live a happy life.

basic communication skills, basic logic  yes; but not even basic science is needed to live. you dont need to know the chemical components of water..

astrology.. unimportant.. unless you hope to one day leave the world..  human anatomy unimportant unless you want to be a doctor.

My grandfather had a cow. She did not know mathematics, trigonometry, algebra, astronomy or chemistry. The cow had a happy life, without worries, in a good clean farm, with good food at her disposal, walked on time, fed on time, milked on time. She didn't know geography and she didn't plan to visit other farms. I'm not even sure she knew it was a cow, much less the stories of her species or the farm she lived on. She didn't know her own anatomy, but in the end, some parts were tasty.