Cultural diferences between humans and furries (and others) in SL

[Scylla Rhiadra]

10 hours ago, Madelaine McMasters said:

This wouldn't be the first time I was wrong.

Well, it would be the first time I've heard of it happening.

10 hours ago, Madelaine McMasters said:

The troll in question was anonymous. We knew his forum persona, but not his RL identity. I have no reason to think he couldn't have created other personas with different reputations elsewhere, and hearsay suggested he did. He also represented, I think, the tip of an iceberg of lesser participants who lived vicariously through him. I suspect you and I could sit across a table from him in a RL pub and never draw the connection to the troll we saw here. It would be much harder for him to have two different RL personas in two different pubs in town, yet "leading a double life" does happen, and precedes the internet by millennia. People have been wary of "transients" for just as long. He's gone from SL but I suspect still in RL. Clearly one instance of him was more transient than the other.

We're going to have to agree to differ here, I think. The gentleman in question was, I believe, very much who he appeared to be here in RL as well, although obviously the way that those characteristics might be expressed would differ somewhat in the context of a pub or dinner table.

That said, I don't think it's necessary to believe that he (or anyone else) is recognizably "the same" from one venue to another: just as someone who is a furry or neko or dragon, or whatever here is clearly very different from their RL selves, but still in some way "authentic," an internet troll need can still be a troll in RL without employing the same precise tools. I really think that the satisfaction that he (and I'm sure many others) gets in RL from their reputation for fearsomeness, wit, power, or whatever online is very real, and that's really only possible if they can build a coherent "self" in the virtual environment. Someone who is making scattershot and disconnected attacks, without the coherence lent by a solid "persona," can't possibly be enjoying the same sense of accomplishment as one who feels he has made something of himself in a virtual community.

10 hours ago, Madelaine McMasters said:

When a good friend invites you do dinner and serves an awful main course, what do you say?
If that same friend takes you out to dinner and you are served an awful main course, what do you say?
If you're out to dinner alone and are served an awful main course, what do you say?
When you return home, what do you say on Yelp?

Each of us will span a different range of responses. Someone might be polite across the board, someone else might go ballistic on Yelp. I doubt though, that you'd find someone who's civil on Yelp and ballistic a the friend's dinner party. That's anonymity and transience at work.

True enough. But, while I'll concede that anonymity and transience have roles here, I still think there is more going on, if only because there are so many different motivations, embedded in so many varied kinds of personality, that can make people go ballistic in the first place. I've been known to lose it and yell at people in RL (on, thankfully, rare occasions). I've never yelled or gesticulated rudely at my computer screen.

Edited February 15, 2019 by Scylla Rhiadra

[Selene Gregoire]

36 minutes ago, Scylla Rhiadra said:

I've never yelled or gesticulated rudely at my computer screen.

Well I have. 

 

 

[AyelaNewLife]

18 hours ago, Selene Gregoire said:

Yeah... No. That's not how it works with me. The nickname may change but the person behind it is still the same. Online reps are as much a part of us as our lungs are. If you are a certain way online, as far as I am concerned, you are the same in RL. Much as people try to separate RL from online, it is not possible, unless you can change who you fundamentally are. There hasn't been a human born on this planet that can do that. I doubt there ever will be.

While I agree with you, there's a pitfall to this way of thinking that needs to be avoided; projecting your own thoughts and feelings onto the intentions of others.

An example. The stereotypical edgy teenager that uses the N word as punctuation online, deliberately saying outrageous things to the entire group in order to bait out a reaction. They're not doing this to cause targeted offence to any group or individual, they're doing it as a "practical joke", the online version of that friend that taps your beer bottle to make it foam up at a bar and thinks it's hilarious. Is it obnoxious? Absolutely. Does it make them an *****? Yes. Do both of those characteristics reflect their real life persona? Most likely. But it doesn't mean that the person is actually racially discriminatory in their thoughts. Just an insensitive jerk that needs to grow the ***** up.

So yeah, if you choose to act a certain way online, I agree that it reflects your real life self. But that's not necessarily the same as "if your actions are perceived a certain way online, it reflects on your real life self". Sometimes there is no difference, in other times I've seen people here erect this massive straw man to drag off to public execution. The latter should be avoided.

[ChinRey]

On 2/12/2019 at 11:44 AM, Cinos Field said:

4) Human clubs use way, way more gestures on average. You almost never see the "applause" or ASCII art gestures in furry places.

That alone is more than enough reason to go furry if you want to go clubbing!

[Selene Gregoire]

4 hours ago, AyelaNewLife said:

"if your actions are perceived a certain way online, it reflects on your real life self"

That isn't what I said, meant or even implied.

[AyelaNewLife]

11 minutes ago, Selene Gregoire said:

That isn't what I said, meant or even implied.

I mean... I never said you did. I said that your line of thinking, when extrapolated to the next level by some, morphs into the that second line. Wasn't criticising you at all.

[Luna Bliss]

Another possible reason why the internet appears more negative... we encounter others who differ from us to a greater degree online than in RL. Just by flicking on a switch and checking the news or a few forums we can instantly encounter hundreds of people who differ from ourselves. Given the reactions evident at the end of some articles or on some forums I can only imagine this must be too much to bear for some, and require major adjustments. Some of these comments at the end of various articles sound like they're given by someone who just escaped from a mental hospital as they ingested several hits of LSD while climbing out the window.

But in RL, aside from the uncle with his MAGA hat that graces us at holidays, we tend to hang around people like us, or at the very least seldom SEEM to encounter someone so different as we make our trips through the grocery store or gym on the corner -- we simply aren't forced to be aware, for the most part, of how different we all are from each other at the core (not talking about physical or socioeconomic differences). The deeper differences are shoved in our face on the internet just by casual surfing.

Edited February 15, 2019 by Luna Bliss

[Selene Gregoire]

6 minutes ago, AyelaNewLife said:

I mean... I never said you did. I said that your line of thinking, when extrapolated to the next level by some, morphs into the that second line. Wasn't criticising you at all.

Ah ok. You used my post to springboard your thoughts. Fair enough. 

[AyelaNewLife]

Just now, Selene Gregoire said:

Ah ok. You used my post to springboard your thoughts. Fair enough. 

Yeah

I was halfway through adding this as an edit when you replied: This is the other problem with conversations on the internet. The written word loses so much of that body language and tone that can communicate so much meaning. Having seen your reply, I can now totally understand why my post could be taken that way, even though I didn't intend it that way at all. It's not really anyone's fault, maybe my own, but it's still a miscommunication that can cause offence where none was intended

[Selene Gregoire]

4 hours ago, AyelaNewLife said:

Yeah

I was halfway through adding this as an edit when you replied: This is the other problem with conversations on the internet. The written word loses so much of that body language and tone that can communicate so much meaning. Having seen your reply, I can now totally understand why my post could be taken that way, even though I didn't intend it that way at all. It's not really anyone's fault, maybe my own, but it's still a miscommunication that can cause offence where none was intended

Thank you for recognizing and acknowledging the miscommunication.

When I'm using someone else's post to springboard, I try to remember to say so at the beginning of my post. It helps. 

[Love Zhaoying]

39 minutes ago, Selene Gregoire said:

Thank you for recognizing and acknowledging the miscommunication.

When I'm using someone else's post to springboard, I try to remember to say so at the beginning of my post. It helps. 

When I quote someone, sometimes I just make ish up, in order to advance my point. 

[Selene Gregoire]

4 minutes ago, Love Zhaoying said:

When I quote someone, sometimes I just make ish up, in order to advance my point. 

Run that one around the corral again please. I didn't quite catch it. Ish?

[Solar Legion]

12 hours ago, Selene Gregoire said:

Run that one around the corral again please. I didn't quite catch it. Ish?

Ish - because typing out the word beginning with sh and ending in it gets filtered by the forum software.

Edited February 16, 2019 by Solar Legion
Tested said filter - briefly.

[Selene Gregoire]

7 hours ago, Solar Legion said:

Ish - because typing out the word beginning with sh and ending in it gets filtered by the forum software.

Sheet works better. 

[LittleMe Jewell]

And definitely don't type it by just substituting ! for the i.  Even though it will get past the filters, it can still get you into trouble.

 

 

Don't ask me how I know that

[kali Wylder]

54 minutes ago, LittleMe Jewell said:

And definitely don't type it by just substituting ! for the i.  Even though it will get past the filters, it can still get you into trouble.

 

 

Don't ask me how I know that

I just say stuff instead, closer in meaning

[Selene Gregoire]

For some reason I can't quite put my finger on, this video seems to be relevant to the thread topic. If you watch, listen and really hear what is being said, you might want to grab a box of tissues first.

 

[Love Zhaoying]

On 2/15/2019 at 4:29 PM, Selene Gregoire said:

Run that one around the corral again please. I didn't quite catch it. Ish?

Ish is a shortand in some circles for S h i t.

[Gopi Passiflora]

I'm don't really use anthro avis that much yet, but humans, ferals (avis which resemble real-life animals more than anthros), aliens, tinies, and a bunch of odds and ends.  Anyway, my female human avis get the most attention from other users (they are the group that get way more IMs than the rest), then all my non-human avis come next (many people like to poke good fun at them,  which is a good thing). My male human avis are often ignored so when I'm in a social place as them I'm the one starting the conversations instead.

[alienaisha]

On 2/18/2019 at 2:47 PM, Gopi Passiflora said:

I'm don't really use anthro avis that much yet, but humans, ferals (avis which resemble real-life animals more than anthros), aliens, tinies, and a bunch of odds and ends.  Anyway, my female human avis get the most attention from other users (they are the group that get way more IMs than the rest), then all my non-human avis come next (many people like to poke good fun at them,  which is a good thing). My male human avis are often ignored so when I'm in a social place as them I'm the one starting the conversations instead.

Sounds really accurate to real-life LOL. It always seems like human men are starting conversations with girls - any girls. I'll start a convo with anyone but I usually ignore IMs from human men that are just "hey :)" not because of what they are, but because conversations that start like that are, always boring.  That or they're looking for "something"  I have no problems starting convos with men (I'm sorry yours gets ignored!) but it's how I approach anyone; usually if I like their outfit or something and I ask to take a picture. 

Now with furries (male and female) they will IM me and always have something to say! Whether it's a question, joke, or some sort of comment on what I'm wearing (if it's a funny bumper, or a compliment on an item). I always love talking to people with furry avis because they uuuuuusually talk a lot like me so we can keep a good conversation rolling haha.

People like to make fun of furries a lot (I haven't seen it here, but in other online spaces for sure) but the experiences I've had have been only pleasant and fun :3