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Nielso

The fear of child avatars

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Marigold Devin wrote

 Some people dislike short avatars (short for SL that is, I am 6'8" apparently), and assume they are teens, when they are not.




That is something I have to struggle with. My avatar is 6 foot tall, 4 inches taller than I am in RL. Yet I am seen as a teenager sometimes, merely because I don't dress slutty.

 

This is me fishing.

mefishing.png

Apparently I am too colorful to be a real adult! (Yes, I am prepared for winter time on a beach. I love SL<3)

I love making my avatar look cute as a kitten, hence why she's a neko. However that does not mean my avatar is a teeanger. You can be cute as a button while being neither, a child nor a teenager.

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blue beeds.jpg

 


iCade wrote:


Marigold Devin wrote

 Some people dislike short avatars (short for SL that is, I am 6'8" apparently), and assume they are teens, when they are not.




That is something I have to struggle with. My avatar is 6 foot tall, 4 inches taller than I am in RL. Yet I am seen as a teenager sometimes, merely because I don't dress slutty.


This is me fishing.

mefishing.png

Apparently I am too colorful to be a real adult! (Yes, I am prepared for winter time on a beach. I love SL<3)

I love making my avatar look cute as a kitten, hence why she's a neko. However that does not mean my avatar is a teeanger. You can be cute as a button while being neither, a child nor a teenager.

While it is true that adults at times will dress very uniquely, I don't think it would be unreasoanble for someone looking at your Ava to think "child."

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Perrie Juran wrote:

blue beeds.jpg

 

iCade wrote:


Marigold Devin wrote

 Some people dislike short avatars (short for SL that is, I am 6'8" apparently), and assume they are teens, when they are not.




That is something I have to struggle with. My avatar is 6 foot tall, 4 inches taller than I am in RL. Yet I am seen as a teenager sometimes, merely because I don't dress slutty.

 

This is me fishing.

mefishing.png

Apparently I am too colorful to be a real adult! (Yes, I am prepared for winter time on a beach. I love SL<3)

I love making my avatar look cute as a kitten, hence why she's a neko. However that does not mean my avatar is a teeanger. You can be cute as a button while being neither, a child nor a teenager.

While it is true that adults at times will dress very uniquely, I don't think it would be unreasoanble for someone looking at your Ava to think "child."

 

 

So I am bound to dress either in bland colors or to wear slutty attire? What exactly is wrong witih wearing a boho knit sweater and thigh high socks? And glasses?

And mind you, I was never mistaken for a child, just a teenager. Even when wearing LOLA TANGO'S. Right, I've never seen a teenager with a double D rack.

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Extraneousnomenclature wrote:

At first glance it looks like you're wearing braces.

It's vampire fangs from an odd angle.

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Hello! I am a child avi (currently 10, turning 11 on Halloween) and I've encountered no ill will towards myself or my sister so far.


I admit I'm fairly new here, but I've got a long time friend in sl and he's been helping me with things, and one of the things he said to me when I told him I wanted to rp as a kid was 'be careful, people are going to be mean to you'.


Which is really strange to me because everyone has been so welcoming and helpful when I've had questions and when I found myself someplace I shouldn't have been, the ims I got where more along the lines of 'hey, might wanna change - don't want you to get kicked/banned!'


Though I can see why people are annoyed with kid avis. I'm annoyed with kid avis half the time. The baby talk is dumb. If you've been around kids like seven and older they try to talk super fancy to sound smarter and older. They don't anyways use words right or realize what they are saying (regurgitating what parents say), but it's clear they are learning and they want to 'grow up'.

Then you've got the 'orphan brats' who claim they because they don't have parents they have to be bratty. No, if you don't have parents you'll be in a foster home or orphanage and if you're bratty there you're gonna get tossed around to different homes.

I guess the bratty kids want to be able to get away with being a jerk but they don't want the consequences an adult would face.

I think it's interesting tho, that other people treat kid avis like children. Even if they don't mean to. They talk to you differently even if you're just out shopping (which I do often - I'm self sufficient /shopaholic!!).

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iCade wrote:


Perrie Juran wrote:

 

 

iCade wrote:


Marigold Devin wrote

 Some people dislike short avatars (short for SL that is, I am 6'8" apparently), and assume they are teens, when they are not.




That is something I have to struggle with. My avatar is 6 foot tall, 4 inches taller than I am in RL. Yet I am seen as a teenager sometimes, merely because I don't dress slutty.

 

This is me fishing.

 

Apparently I am too colorful to be a real adult! (Yes, I am prepared for winter time on a beach. I love SL<3)

I love making my avatar look cute as a kitten, hence why she's a neko. However that does not mean my avatar is a teeanger. You can be cute as a button while being neither, a child nor a teenager.

While it is true that adults at times will dress very uniquely, I don't think it would be unreasoanble for someone looking at your Ava to think "child."

 

 

So I am bound to dress either in bland colors or to wear slutty attire? What exactly is wrong witih wearing a boho knit sweater and thigh high socks? And glasses?

And mind you, I was never mistaken for a child, just a teenager. Even when wearing LOLA TANGO'S. Right, I've never seen a teenager with a double D rack.

I didn't say that you were bound to anything.

All I'm saying is that it should not come as a surprise to you if that is peoples reaction.

Your post leaves me with the impression that you think that reaction is wrong.  Maybe it is.  But I can understand it.

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I am not saying the reaction is wrong, I am saying I simply cannot fathom that reaction. I suppose to have my avatar seen as an adult in SL I need to have my lola's hanging out instead of hiding them behind a rather well done knit sweater. o.O

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iCade wrote:

I am not saying the reaction is wrong, I am saying I simply cannot fathom that reaction. I suppose to have my avatar seen as an adult in SL I need to have my lola's hanging out instead of hiding them behind a rather well done knit sweater.
o.O

It's simply not the size of her breasts, though.    The face, while certainly cute, is very young indeed and, if anything, it's the discrepancy between that and the breasts that would start to ring alarm bells for me.

I'd be worried if someone looking like that turned up at an adult venue looking like that, because I'd be wondering if she weren't rp-ing a sixteen-year-old looking for an older man, which would make me worried about ToS issues.    More importantly, though, I think she probably would make other visitors feel uncomfortable (for the same reason), and if I'm managing somewhere I'm concerned for the experience of visitors as a whole, as well as the experience of individual visitors.

I'm not criticising you or your avatar; I'm just trying to suggest why I think your appearance sometimes alarms people.

 

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iCade wrote:


Marigold Devin wrote

 Some people dislike short avatars (short for SL that is, I am 6'8" apparently), and assume they are teens, when they are not.




That is something I have to struggle with. My avatar is 6 foot tall, 4 inches taller than I am in RL. Yet I am seen as a teenager sometimes, merely because I don't dress slutty.

 

This is me fishing.

mefishing.png

Apparently I am too colorful to be a real adult! (Yes, I am prepared for winter time on a beach. I love SL<3)

I love making my avatar look cute as a kitten, hence why she's a neko. However that does not mean my avatar is a teeanger. You can be cute as a button while being neither, a child nor a teenager.

Aye, its a super cute look. I think the spectacles and the skin tone is refreshingly light on makeup, and definitely the mode of dressing make your avatar look younger (I guess its some of the pyjamas I wear, onesies and suchlike and the fact is not heavily made up that can make my av appear teen too).

 

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iCade wrote:


So I am bound to dress either in bland colors or to wear slutty attire? What exactly is wrong witih wearing a boho knit sweater and thigh high socks? And glasses?

And mind you, I was never mistaken for a child, just a teenager. Even when wearing LOLA TANGO'S. Right, I've never seen a teenager with a double D rack.

 


I wear neither bland or 'slutty' attire, there are some wonderful clothes for adults without going to either extreme.

I do like your look, but I would have mistaken you for a teen, not that there's anything wrong with that, but rest assured there are plenty of great outfits in SL to suit us non bland/slutty avi's.

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iCade wrote:

I am not saying the reaction is wrong, I am saying I simply cannot fathom that reaction. I suppose to have my avatar seen as an adult in SL I need to have my lola's hanging out instead of hiding them behind a rather well done knit sweater.
o.O

I....I would have thought your avatar is a teen, too, in that picture.... :smileyembarrassed:

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Strange, as the shape is very womanly. The skin is light on make up and heavy on the gloss. There really is no feature that makes her truly a teen other than what people perceive based on the color of her clothes and perhaps the flowers in her hair.

The skin is not intended to be a teen skin either.

To show you the difference clothing can make, here's her in a wholly different outfit:

meposing.png

The only difference is the outfit, the mini devil horns and the septum ring as well as a change of glasses. Everything else is the same. Does she still look like a teen? I wouldn't say so, her skin is as smooth as many other avatars, I could probably give her squinty eyes and a frowny mouth like it's a fad among bloggers and she'd look even less like a teen but that's not how I roll lol.

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The lighting is different in that picture, of course.   I agree the outfit makes her look older, but I'm afraid  (maybe because I'm looking at it in the context of the first picture) she still looks to me like a teen, and specifically a teen who is about to be told by her mother or father that there's no way she's going to the party dressed like that.   

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It's because of the indoors lightning at the home, both pictures were shot with the same windlight. And I believe we can agree to disagree then. I do not see how she's looking like a teen at all. o.O Honestly, I simply cannot see it. It's an adult skin, on an adult shape, wearing adult clothes.

I suppose I shouldn't have started wearing D!va hair >.>

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It's all very subjective, of course.  

For what it's worth, at the group of adult sims with which I'm involved, unless it's very obviously a child avatar, we look the avatar's profile, how s/he is behaving and, when possible, try to get the opinion of another staff member before asking someone to change their avatar or leave.

 

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iCade wrote:

Strange, as the shape is very womanly. The skin is light on make up and heavy on the gloss. There really is no feature that makes her truly a teen other than what people perceive based on the color of her clothes and perhaps the flowers in her hair.

The skin is not intended to be a teen skin either.

To show you the difference clothing can make, here's her in a wholly different outfit:

meposing.png

The only difference is the outfit, the mini devil horns and the septum ring as well as a change of glasses. Everything else is the same. Does she still look like a teen? I wouldn't say so, her skin is as smooth as many other avatars, I could probably give her squinty eyes and a frowny mouth like it's a fad among bloggers and she'd look even less like a teen but that's not how I roll lol.

Even with the change in clothes, if I didn't know you from the forums and saw you in SL I'd think you were a teen too as my first impression.  A lot of RL teens in my area actually look that way when dressed for a date. And if anyone thinks there are not teens with double D's you aren't paying attention. I would however take a look at your profile if I was in a position to decide if you could stay or go in a venue where no child avi's are allowed.

Part of the reason you look so young to me is your skin.  I've noticed a real trend in SL for skins that to me look like 13 year old kids in the face with adult bodies.  I see it all the time in blogs and fashion ads now and I have passed on a lot of clothing because my gut reaction is to find them unappealing and I sometimes  have a hard time visualizing the clothes on my avatar, which is decidedly older looking.. 

You don't have to have a fish face or dress slutty on blandly to look like an adult.  There are plenty of elegant clothes in SL to choose from, even elegant clothes with a boho look.

It is your SL and it is your right to have the avatar yuo want to have.  I give you no argument against that.  If you like your avi, that's all that counts.  However, people will draw conclusions based on your looks so you must be prepared to acknowledge that their opinions on this are subjective and deal with it.

 

 

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iCade wrote:

Strange, as the shape is very womanly. The skin is light on make up and heavy on the gloss. There really is no feature that makes her truly a teen other than what people perceive based on the color of her clothes and perhaps the flowers in her hair.

The skin is not intended to be a teen skin either.

To show you the difference clothing can make, here's her in a wholly different outfit:

meposing.png

The only difference is the outfit, the mini devil horns and the septum ring as well as a change of glasses. Everything else is the same. Does she still look like a teen? I wouldn't say so, her skin is as smooth as many other avatars, I could probably give her squinty eyes and a frowny mouth like it's a fad among bloggers and she'd look even less like a teen but that's not how I roll lol.

She looks like a teen in this picture because her eyes are so large for the size of her face.  Either a teen or a caricature.

 

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Its not the eyes. Infact, I love to see some avatar that hasn't these squishy small eyes that scream "hey, look how hard and sexy I look!" I think its more the hair, combined with the skin that makes her look more like a teen and the clothes add to that first feeling. Its never just one thing that makes the look. For example, I have an alt, who has a smiliar skin and still she just looks cute, but not like a teen.

 

And to cheer you up ICade, in your forum picture I think your avatar looks like an adult :)

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Syo Emerald wrote:

Its not the eyes. Infact, I love to see some avatar that hasn't these squishy small eyes that scream "hey, look how hard and sexy I look!" I think its more the hair, combined with the skin that makes her look more like a teen and the clothes add to that first feeling. Its never just one thing that makes the look. For example, I have an alt, who has a smiliar skin and still she just looks cute, but not like a teen.

 

And to cheer you up ICade, in your forum picture I think your avatar looks like an adult
:)

Lol! Ironically, I wear a knit sweater and then a dancing outfit and my avi looks like a teen but when I bring out my Cupcake Dress and funky hair I look like an adult :P I agree, the skin coupled with the hair seems to be giving that impression.

I'll keep that style for some of my avatars, I just think she's cute as a button and love it that way xD But thanks for the responses, I understand it a bit better now how people draw that conclusion.

Thankfully I don't go to adult places often at all, only to fish and some stores so it's not an issue. And I apologise for having come off as rude when I stated that you have to dress a certain way to look like an adult, I wasn't thinking at all when I typed that >.<

I sat down earlier, grabbed one of my glam affair skins and made a shape and hopefully successfully created a thoroughly adult looking avatar xD

But for the record, I have never seen a teen with double D's Amethyst, not sure how frequent breast implants are in other parts of germany but where I live I don't know anyone, never mind a teen who has them and I am paying attention lol. x3

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To bring this discussion back into context a littleI think one thing we need to do is be careful about the definition and use of the word "child." 

"Biologically, a child (plural: children) is a human between the stages of birth and puberty.

The legal definition of child generally refers to a minor, otherwise known as a person younger than the age of majority.

Child may also describe a relationship....."

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Child

Personally, unless there is something clearly in the context to indicate otherwise, when I read or hear the word "child," I think of someone under the age of twelve.  Older than that to me is a Teenager.  The way that I respond to and interact with a child (under12) and a teenager will be very different.

Your Avatar looks like a teenager and when we look at the ToS, it is the legal, not biological definition of "child" that comes into play.  With all the furor over sexual age play people can be very uptight about being associated even with a Teen Ava in an "R" rated situation.  So in response to this furor and to be in compliance with the ToS, adult venues are going to "err on the side of caution' as the Adult Content policies suggest.

Putting aside what may be our personal like or dislike of the policy, people don't want to be banned.  People don't want to be accused of engaging in sexual age play.  It is not really the fear of Child Ava's we are talking about, but the fear of the potential consequences.

We have in SL the ability to be many things.  We have a huge amount of freedom.  But that freedom does not mean we can be those things any where and every where we individually may want to.  As much as I may want or think I am entitled to that right, we don't have it.

There are many places (or circumstances) where a teenager does not belong.  It is just that simple.  You look like a teenager in those images and are going to be responded to accordingly.

 

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