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Nielso

The fear of child avatars

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It seems I have given the impression of frequenting adult sex places a lot. That is not the case at all, and when I very seldomly do that were not the situations where I was told I looked like a teen/child!

Just to clear that up.

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iCade wrote:

It seems I have given the impression of frequenting adult sex places a lot. That is not the case at all, and when I very seldomly do
that were not the situations where I was told I looked like a teen/child
!

Just to clear that up.

My bad for making making that assumption.  Easy to do in the context of this thread and the subject in general because of how often it comes up in the Forum.

No matter where we go or what we do we will always deal with our self perception, how we think we look, and the perception of others, how they think we look.

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Order in Court!

I have been away for a while because I was annoyed that a famous (for not being rude to someone, probably for the only time in his life) philosophical quote by Oscar WIlde was considered to be inappropriate comment.

I have, following extensive cognitive behavioral therapy, now recovered my sangfroid, and I shall, for the near future at least, be sitting in judgment on issues presented in these forums.

Accordingly, I have reviewed the cases made for and against the OPs thesis, and find:

On the charge that there is a fear of child avatars: NOT GUILTY. Obiter dicta - Nobody is scared of kids in SL or anywhere.

On the charge that there exists hatred of child avatars: GUILTY. Obiter dicta - But only by a minority

The Judge

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iCade wrote:

...

But for the record, I have never seen a teen with double D's Amethyst, not sure how frequent breast implants are in other parts of germany but where I live I don't know anyone, never mind a teen who has them and I am paying attention lol. x3

I live in the US.  While I don't see them everywhere I do see them frequently and they are not breast implants. 

I have a niece I took in and raised from the time she was 7 because her parents became disabled and were not able to.  At the age of 11 she blossomed seemingly overnight one summer.  In June she looked like a little girl but by early August I had to buy her a new bathing suit because she grew and developed so fast that the kids bathing suit I bought her in June was exposing too much for a young girl.  Even with her new very modest new suit, when we went to the pool she was turning all the male heads because she looked like a very well endowed young woman and was strikingly beautiful.  She really was uncomfortable with that too and thought it creepy that grown men, who she thought of as old fossils, were staring at her like that. I had to tell more than one man my age to roll his tongue back in, that she was only 11.  Thus began the very difficult battle, that lasted through her teens, of finding her age appropriate clothing that didn't make her look like a porn star in a fantasy school girl outfit.  It was extremely difficult, to say the least!

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This is exactly the problem though.

 

Person A: ''Thats a teen avatar''

Person B: ''Are you blind? I'm a young adult''

 

You cannot draw the line very clearly between what is a teen avatar and what is not. Since we all don't want to look like 30, 40 or 50+ year old men and women I think people should not make such a big issue about it.

So an avatar appears to look in his late teens (17, 18, 19). So what? Age is only a number though and I know many adults who look old but behave like a 10 year old brat.

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Nielso wrote:

This is exactly the problem though.

 

Person A: ''Thats a teen avatar''

Person B: ''Are you blind? I'm a young adult''

 

You cannot draw the line very clearly between what is a teen avatar and what is not. Since we all don't want to look like 30, 40 or 50+ year old men and women I think people should not make such a big issue about it.

So an avatar appears to look in his late teens (17, 18, 19). So what? Age is only a number though and I know many adults who look old but behave like a 10 year old brat.

Problem isnt whether the person looks like there 17 ish. The problem is the sexual content.  Its not allowed as it should be. It happens yes but people should be in the habbit of asking how old a person is if there avi looks iffy. Yes I do know people lie but it gets your ars(e) off the hook. I only met one child avi in my +3 years in sl and it wasnt good. They wanted a mom son thing if you get my drift. Heck no. I dont care what a person is in sl honestly, I just dont want to hang out with a child avi. I like someone I can have a conversation with that I learn from. But thats just my humble opinion.

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iCade wrote:


Syo Emerald wrote:

Its not the eyes. Infact, I love to see some avatar that hasn't these squishy small eyes that scream "hey, look how hard and sexy I look!" I think its more the hair, combined with the skin that makes her look more like a teen and the clothes add to that first feeling. Its never just one thing that makes the look. For example, I have an alt, who has a smiliar skin and still she just looks cute, but not like a teen.

 

And to cheer you up ICade, in your forum picture I think your avatar looks like an adult
:)

Lol! Ironically, I wear a knit sweater and then a dancing outfit and my avi looks like a teen but when I bring out my Cupcake Dress and funky hair I look like an adult
:P
I agree, the skin coupled with the hair seems to be giving that impression.

I'll keep that style for some of my avatars, I just think she's cute as a button and love it that way
xD
But thanks for the responses, I understand it a bit better now how people draw that conclusion.

Thankfully I don't go to adult places often at all, only to fish and some stores so it's not an issue. And I apologise for having come off as rude when I stated that you have to dress a certain way to look like an adult, I wasn't thinking at all when I typed that >.<

I sat down earlier, grabbed one of my glam affair skins and made a shape and hopefully successfully created a thoroughly adult looking avatar
xD

But for the record, I have never seen a teen with double D's Amethyst, not sure how frequent breast implants are in other parts of germany but where I live I don't know anyone, never mind a teen who has them and I am paying attention lol. x3

The bold portion is what I am responding to;  (Giving away my age range here...lol) I have an ex-step daughter (who I am still very close to) who at he age of 11 started developing at a vey rapid rate. By 16, she was having o buy extremely expensive, and some custom made bras. The poor kid was way overendowed, passing DD's. I still feel sorry for her, and the health issues it causes for her (back pain). She would be an excellent candidate for reduction. You see it more and more these days with all of the growth hormones added to food. :matte-motes-confused:

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I'm not entirely convinced that food additives are to blame for the phenomenon which you describe.  Way back in the early 80's, when I was in high school, we had very well endowed girls, as well.  Although admittedly, it was the well endowed boys to which I paid the most attention.

...Dres

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iCade wrote:

Seems like we german's aren't blessed (cursed?) with huge **bleep**.
o.O
;

Better to have a brain then curse gravity by the age of 40 ^^

It`s the same as you see inworld with the mesh attachements *no comment* spoiler.png

The only way to know if it`s a teen or adult is to have a short chat that is longer then the general "Hi, how are you?" or "No teens allowed, you`re banned!" and combine that with their profile to come to a conclusion.

Ofcourse, it`s SL and you might aswell just have an argument if a person is a human or furry, ofcourse he`s a furry because there are no furries in real life. */ducks*

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Aislin Ceawlin wrote:


iCade wrote:


Syo Emerald wrote:

Its not the eyes. Infact, I love to see some avatar that hasn't these squishy small eyes that scream "hey, look how hard and sexy I look!" I think its more the hair, combined with the skin that makes her look more like a teen and the clothes add to that first feeling. Its never just one thing that makes the look. For example, I have an alt, who has a smiliar skin and still she just looks cute, but not like a teen.

 

And to cheer you up ICade, in your forum picture I think your avatar looks like an adult
:)

Lol! Ironically, I wear a knit sweater and then a dancing outfit and my avi looks like a teen but when I bring out my Cupcake Dress and funky hair I look like an adult
:P
I agree, the skin coupled with the hair seems to be giving that impression.

I'll keep that style for some of my avatars, I just think she's cute as a button and love it that way
xD
But thanks for the responses, I understand it a bit better now how people draw that conclusion.

Thankfully I don't go to adult places often at all, only to fish and some stores so it's not an issue. And I apologise for having come off as rude when I stated that you have to dress a certain way to look like an adult, I wasn't thinking at all when I typed that >.<

I sat down earlier, grabbed one of my glam affair skins and made a shape and hopefully successfully created a thoroughly adult looking avatar
xD

But for the record, I have never seen a teen with double D's Amethyst, not sure how frequent breast implants are in other parts of germany but where I live I don't know anyone, never mind a teen who has them and I am paying attention lol. x3

The bold portion is what I am responding to;  (Giving away my age range here...lol) I have an ex-step daughter (who I am still very close to) who at he age of 11 started developing at a vey rapid rate. By 16, she was having o buy extremely expensive, and some custom made bras. The poor kid was way overendowed, passing DD's. I still feel sorry for her, and the health issues it causes for her (back pain). She would be an excellent candidate for reduction. You see it more and more these days with all of the growth hormones added to food. :matte-motes-confused:

Responding to bold as well. I was one of those young well endowed children. Its a curse I tell you. 14 and a DDD @ 16 and a 36FF.. and it got worse ( I got bigger). I was hit on my so many adult men. Maybe its why I feel so strongly about child avi's. Bad memories. Im not sure if I am old enough to be a case of the growth hormones or if I took after my Aunt Gigdet.. Either way its a curse Id surely love to give up. 

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Alicia Sautereau wrote:

Need a towel Perrie? :matte-motes-wink-tongue:

I have never denied my affinity for Breasts.  :matte-motes-inlove:

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Sephina Frostbite wrote:

Responding to bold as well. I was one of those young well endowed children. Its a curse I tell you. 14 and a DDD @ 16 and a 36FF.. and if got worse (bigger). I was hit on my so many adult men. Maybe its why I feel so strongly about child avi's. Bad memories. Im not sure if I am old enough to be a case of the growth hormones or if I took after my Aunt Gigdet.. Either way its a curse Id surely love to give up. 

I also had to deal with very large breasts as a teen.  At 15 I started my junior year in a public high school (I was a year ahead).  I had been in an all-girls school before that but now there were boys in the classes and they all seemed to stare at my chest and "accidentally" brush up against me.  I started going around hunched over with my chest caved in so I wouldn't stick out so much. I didn't even realize it until my first serious boyfriend when I was a sophomore in college convinced me I had a beautiful body and to stand up straight and show it off. (He was a breast man.)  But even though I had come to  accept and appreciate my body there were some things I regretted.  I couldn't dance as wild and free as I wanted without my boobs bobbing up and down so learned to dance in a more lady-like manner.  Same problem with running and sports.  It was really bad with horseback riding, but I learned to ride with a very still upper body using my long legs as shock-absorbers.   As a result I had very soft hands that horses would accept and ride up to the bit. 

Since I no longer regret my large breasts I saw no need to make my avi have smaller ones (which I probably would have done if I still had the attitude I had as a teen).  Besides in SL I can dance as wild as I want and no bounce unless I use physics. :)

 

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The reason I decided I wanted to be a child avi is because I wanted to stay away from the more explicit parts of sl, which can be a pain if you wander around in a sexy (objective) avi. Who knows I might just grow up to be a cat.

Anyhoo~~ when I was little I was always chubby, so by second grade I had to wear a bra, and when I got older and puberty hit I lost the baby fat but not the chest fat, so puberty kinda just overlayed on what I already had, which made the issue worse. Now I've got DDs and it really upsets me that I cannot find any clothing for flatchested or smaller chested avis (for if/when I grow Ave up). They might be nice to look at but they are a pain (literally) and I don't want to make my avi look like me in that way because that's something I never really liked. That, and I'm not looking for the attention.

So when I see teen avis (rp'd not actual rl teens fyi) wandering around wearing unfortunate clothing choices for their ages (I'm not going to police you 18+ ladies rock those minis) I just kinda deflate and wonder if they are wearing that just because they never could when they were that age? Or if they feel that's how teens dress nowadays? (not if they want to stay in school) It's been a while since I was a teen, but all the girls I knew wore jeans, tennis shoes, and cute blouses. Not these skin tight dresses with boob windows and thigh high boots. There's a line there they are passing every time they claim an rp age of under 18 and prance around like that.

Same for you boys, though. What's with all the shirtlessness? You're 16, nobody wants to see your puberty muscles put those away. Oh and all the underage tattoos. Why.

well this post got away from me sorry

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AveryGriffin wrote:

The reason I decided I wanted to be a child avi is because I wanted to stay away from the more explicit parts of sl, which can be a pain if you wander around in a sexy (objective) avi. Who knows I might just grow up to be a cat.

Anyhoo~~ when I was little I was always chubby, so by second grade I had to wear a bra, and when I got older and puberty hit I lost the baby fat but not the chest fat, so puberty kinda just overlayed on what I already had, which made the issue worse. Now I've got DDs and it really upsets me that I cannot find any clothing for flatchested or smaller chested avis (for if/when I grow Ave up). They might be nice to look at but they are a pain (literally) and I don't want to make my avi look like me in that way because that's something I never really liked. That, and I'm not looking for the attention.

So when I see teen avis (rp'd not actual rl teens fyi) wandering around wearing unfortunate clothing choices for their ages (I'm not going to police you 18+ ladies rock those minis) I just kinda deflate and wonder if they are wearing that just because they never could when they were that age? Or if they feel that's how teens dress nowadays? (not if they want to stay in school) It's been a while since I was a teen, but all the girls I knew wore jeans, tennis shoes, and cute blouses. Not these skin tight dresses with boob windows and thigh high boots. There's a line there they are passing every time they claim an rp age of under 18 and prance around like that.

Same for you boys, though. What's with all the shirtlessness? You're 16, nobody wants to see your puberty muscles put those away. Oh and all the underage tattoos. Why.

well this post got away from me sorry

Never be sorry for sharing your thoughts and opinions on a forum. I found your post enlightening. 

Everyone has different reasons for taking the forms they choose to in Second Life. For some its not as simple as being a child or a tiny or a slave, and why should it be. Its a virtual world full of different scenarios and roles to explore if one chooses to.

I feel like a teenager much of the time when I am in Second Life, and in fact still feel like one in real life much of the time (until those dreaded bills drop through the letterbox!).

Escapism. Gotta love it.

Seesaw 2007.jpg

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Syo Emerald wrote:

Because Its like a big getting unfair advantage of all those women who cant make a child.

 

Wait....what?

Its unfair
to have a virtual avatar shaped and dressed like a child
because some
female
stranger on the internet MIGTH have
reproduction
problems
?! :smileyfrustrated:

Are you serious on that?

Isn't that basically the ENTIRE rationale behind conservative objections to gays?

 

I have no personal issues, anymore, with child avatars. Making friends with two people who used this set me straight on "those people and their ways". Despite trying to avoid both friendships, politeness moved hand on one and my instinct to help newbies on the others... and I soon learned I liked the people, and start meeting some in "their community" and realizing I liked them as well...

 

Which forced me to reassess my earlier bias and realize it was misinformed.

 

I -HAVE- seen people use that "little speak" but frankly, I run around as a neko or a furry and I've seen some pretty crazy nekos and furries too... and lets not get started on some of the current crazy fashion and "pretend attitudes" among the human avatar community... and yet I still know mostly very nice folks in all 4 of those communities (and even some people who's tastes in avatar design I find flat-out-weird have ended up being wonderfully nice people to know as long as I hold a post-it-note over that part of my monitor :P ).

 

That said, I get it with a lot of roleplay places as a LOT of them, even on 'M' land, have people engaging in 'A' conduct inside the buildings or up in skyboxes or whatever... Or if they don't - I can usually find the furniture hidden somewhere after not too much time...

But also there's theme issues... its often even more out of theme to have a 'child' running around on your star ship or ancient battle ground than a furry.

 

LLs odd choice in how to handle the A-land issue, designed to be a compromise, in my opinion only made community sentiment worse. Child AVs can be on A-Land, but not engage in conduct of an A-nature or be near such conduct. That makes people feel (incorrectly) that child AVs are trying to get into scenes and cause a disruption. But the day ZIndra (LL A-Land) opened, the landing spot was full of Child AVs... Granted at the time it was a touring of many sims full of open unbuilt linden owned land... but it set off a reaction. And while that was 2009 - I think that reaction has since cemented a lot of opinions, and bans on Child AVs seem to be more common now than they were before.

- But that could just be my perception of it.

 

But the simple fact of roleplay sims is they're the most likely places to encounter a lot of themes mixing together with a lot of personal biases of the people running them. Its the last place to go in SL to get an open friendly community. You're either in their chosen 'scene / community' and so its great, or you're not, and so you are unwelcome on one level or another.

- Complaining about what people allow in their RPs is not going to get anyone very far...

 

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Pussycat Catnap wrote:


Syo Emerald wrote:

Because Its like a big getting unfair advantage of all those women who cant make a child.

 

Wait....what?

Its unfair
to have a virtual avatar shaped and dressed like a child
because some
female
stranger on the internet MIGTH have
reproduction
problems
?! :smileyfrustrated:

Are you serious on that?

Isn't that basically the ENTIRE rationale behind conservative objections to gays?

I don't think anyone has quite figured out a way to blame issues women might have with their plumbing on teh gays just yet.

More often it's because "Jah" said so.

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jwenting wrote:

 

liberals claim that a judge not convicting a guy of murder who killed in self defense is equivalent to that judge confirming that hunting people for sport is legal...

Which is of course utter nonsense, but there's always someone who'll believe utter nonsense.

Conservative define self-defense as stalking a person for a couple blocks for no reason other than their race, then jumping them, pinning them, and shooting them.

Which is of course utter nonsense, but there's always someone who'll believe utter nonsense.

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iCade wrote:


Marigold Devin wrote

 Some people dislike short avatars (short for SL that is, I am 6'8" apparently), and assume they are teens, when they are not.




That is something I have to struggle with. My avatar is 6 foot tall, 4 inches taller than I am in RL. Yet I am seen as a teenager sometimes, merely because I don't dress slutty.

 

mefishing.png

Apparently I am too colorful to be a real adult! (Yes, I am prepared for winter time on a beach. I love SL<3)

I love making my avatar look cute as a kitten, hence why she's a neko. However that does not mean my avatar is a teeanger. You can be cute as a button while being neither, a child nor a teenager.

My avatar is 5'6", and I dress faily normally. I would look up towards yours and still think you had a child AV.

Its not the height - your choice of style there screams pre-teen.

 


iCade wrote:

Strange, as the shape is very womanly. The skin is light on make up and
heavy on the gloss
. There really is no feature that makes her truly a teen other than what people perceive based on the color of her clothes and perhaps the flowers in her hair.

The skin is not intended to be a teen skin either.

 

The only difference is the outfit, the mini devil horns and the septum ring as well as a change of glasses. Everything else is the same. Does she still look like a teen? I wouldn't say so, her skin is as smooth as many other avatars, I could probably give her squinty eyes and a frowny mouth like it's a fad among bloggers and she'd look even less like a teen but that's not how I roll lol.

Yes. Its all the 'sparkly' in the face, and the mouth, that triggers that for me. I think caused by what I've bolded up there.

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Replying t icade, not your **bleep** cat...

The clothes scream teen because of the colors but that could be passable. Its the face. That screams innocence and youth. You dont really have woman features. But still a beautiful avi.

EDIT Wait.. I cant say P*ssy cat? Thats her name??? 

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You may be entirely correct, Dres, but in the medical community (which is my arena) it's a prevalent school of thought at the moment. This, by no means, makes it a definite, though.

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I can thoroughly sympathize. While I didn't seem to develop to ridiculous proportions, I did develop before anyone else. It was, to say the least, humiliating at times.

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Griffin Ceawlin wrote:


Pussycat Catnap wrote:


Syo Emerald wrote:

Because Its like a big getting unfair advantage of all those women who cant make a child.

 

Wait....what?

Its unfair
to have a virtual avatar shaped and dressed like a child
because some
female
stranger on the internet MIGTH have
reproduction
problems
?! :smileyfrustrated:

Are you serious on that?

Isn't that basically the ENTIRE rationale behind conservative objections to gays?

I don't think anyone has quite figured out a way to blame issues women might have with their plumbing on teh gays just yet.

More often it's because "Jah" said so.

More or less. Well actually it's not jesus who said that. It's located in the old testament. It's also a interpritation thing. ESPECIALLY the sodom and gomorrah readings. There basically interpritations that don't take into consideration the time and events leading to said rules and stories. Really weither old testiment laws even apply is debatable. New testament gives conflicting views on it.For instance this qoute says ignore them http://biblia.com/bible/niv/Hebrews%208.13

This one says follow them http://biblia.com/bible/niv/Matthew%205.17-19

A lot of this has to do with the fact it's translations of translations of stories people recalled. IMO it's safest to just take the bible as more like a guidence tool to give ideas instead of leter of the law following. Unless of course you really have a thing against polyester mix...in which case all for it.

 

All and all I'm saying that gay hating isn't a view shared by all Christians/conservates. Rather it's a seemingly vocal minority group of fanatics who decided to interperate things as they wish because they find it "icky". Personally I wish they'd just admit there real issue (that they find it icky) instead of hiding behind the bible with "facts" that are shaky at best.

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