Why is it so easy to block people?

[Ceka Cianci]

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Skylar Meridoc wrote:

If someone isinsulting us, we simply block them and move on. I have like 20 people on my block list, and i won't unblock them either.

But actually, blocking is not really a punishment.

Sometimes i ask myself: Isn't there a way i can make them responsible for what they did? Or what if i block them and they want to apologize?

In RL we would probably call the police, or maybe hit them in the face... but here in SL (or on FB or anywhere else) people simply press the Block button and move on. But... Why?

Aren't those people interested in making others pay for what they did? Like i said, blocking is not really a punishment, and it doesn't hurt to be blocked.

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i don't block so easily..

usually if i block someone that i know? it's because it is the final option and not the first..

At that point..i don't care about making them part of my good or bad thoughts anymore..

 

it's over..why would i worry about them paying for something if i just want them gone away?

i'm not looking for any kind of justice..it's about peace from them..

 

people may block me  easy..i don't know..i've never been told i was being blocked..

but for me it takes a lot for me to block someone..

it's usually because i just don't give a damn one way or the other anymore..

that hasn't been very many times..

but there were times..

 

spammers abusing my friends list?

that kind of crap is over the first time.. i'll block those people in a heart beat..because they just summed it up..

no respect for a friend from the get go..

 

 

[jwenting]

I've dozens on my blocklist. But only 2 of them are there that aren't spammers (sending notecards or ims with "special offers" or sending trojans repeatedly.

And those two are real works of art, the kind you'd wish you could mute rl, the kind who scream insults at you from across the street just because you're the wrong colour/sex/whatever.

[Bree Giffen]

Blocking is a very good punishment for most people because most childish behavior is to get attention. A child cries so the parents will start fussing over them. By blocking you completely turn off any attention you have toward them and you deny them their very existence. Reacting to them actually feeds their craven little minds.

[Aethelwine]

You can block yourself. I had a problem using Huds with weblinks for ages until I found out the reason for it was that I had accidentally blocked myself.

[Aethelwine]

People get hurt all the time on the internet and by words alone. Aside from all the reports of suicides as a result of cyberbullying there is the more obvious point that psychological pain can only be caused by communicating hurtful meanings and words are the most obvious way to do that.

[Monti Messmer]

Never felt the need to block someone only mute them for a few hours. Some of this features like mute, block, eject would help in RL to avoid more serious fights.

Revenge is a funny thing, if you seek revenge they will probably too and the circle goes round.

One thing i have to disagree, you can hurt someone on the Internet. That is a growing problem and very serious.

Monti

[Aethelwine]

To the Op sometimes giving some back works better before blocking someone. It may just be part of a game or misunderstanding. But as others have said if they are just out to cause grief then block them. Perhaps think about telling the sim owner about it or abuse reporting them to Linden Labs. There really isn't anything much else you can do that is effective.

[Syo Emerald]

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Skylar Meridoc wrote:

If someone isinsulting us, we simply block them and move on. I have like 20 people on my block list, and i won't unblock them either.

But actually, blocking is not really a punishment.

Sometimes i ask myself: Isn't there a way i can make them responsible for what they did? Or what if i block them and they want to apologize?

In RL we would probably call the police, or maybe hit them in the face... but here in SL (or on FB or anywhere else) people simply press the Block button and move on. But... Why?

Aren't those people interested in making others pay for what they did? Like i said, blocking is not really a punishment, and it doesn't hurt to be blocked.

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Oh, you call the police when someone is mean, unfriendly or insulting you? I bet the police likes you a lot.....

Also I bet, if you (and I highly doubt you have the balls to do that) hit someone in the face, I think it wouldn't be them who feel they "paid" for something during the next 10 minutes. You probably will get beaten up.

[jwenting]

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Bree Giffen wrote:

Blocking is a very good punishment for most people because most childish behavior is to get attention. A child cries so the parents will start fussing over them. By blocking you completely turn off any attention you have toward them and you deny them their very existence. Reacting to them actually feeds their craven little minds.

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And a good reminder to myself which "persons" I'd rather not have contact with. Like the toxic induhviduals who have statements in their profiles like "I consider all avatars younger than 2010 to be idiots" (seen it). Don't want to bother with such fools, so blocking them serves as a visual reminder they're not worth my time.

Sadly blocking them doesn't mean they can't bump me or otherwise harass me, but at least I can no longer hear them.

[Tari Landar]

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Aethelwine wrote:

To the Op sometimes giving some back works better before blocking someone

. It may just be part of a game or misunderstanding. But as others have said if they are just out to cause grief then block them. Perhaps think about telling the sim owner about it or abuse reporting them to Linden Labs. There really isn't anything much else you can do that is effective.

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To the bolded. I have never seen a case of that being effective. In the end, all you're doing is the very thing you're angry at them for doing. How then can you be angry at them?

[Storm Clarence]

Re: People get hurt all the time...

 

I suppose you may think you are right. I recently was reading an excerpt from a speech by President Obama. My knee-jerk reaction was to facepalm, so I did. Sadly for me I was still holding my smartphone. It hurt.

 

However, my pain was self-inflicted.

 

PS I never got 'hurt' from reading a book. Or watching a movie.

[Aethelwine]

It seems odd to me you have never witnessed that before. Nine times out of ten in one form or another challenging the offensive person is most effective. Just yesterday some was being upset by comments on my sim. First they got back some put downs in a shut up kind of way. When that didn't work one of the estate managers intervened and made clear to them their conduct was not being appreciated and they left along with their mates No need for drama, no need for bans or blocking. Those should be last resorts not first ones

[Aethelwine]

If that is actually true and not just something you believe then you are very unusual. A friend used to be a roadie and she used to play a game they called how low can you go. Their challenge to others was through words alone in 30 minutes they could make anyone physically sick. Ex-marines, truck drivers, roadies on other crews when they accepted the challenge always gave in. Everyone has weak spots not so hard to find if you go looking for them

[Theresa Tennyson]

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Aethelwine wrote:

If that is actually true and not just something you believe then you are very unusual. A friend used to be a roadie and she used to play a game they called how low can you go. Their challenge to others was through words alone in 30 minutes they could make anyone physically sick. Ex-marines, truck drivers, roadies on other crews when they accepted the challenge always gave in. Everyone has weak spots not so hard to find if you go looking for them

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Psst, Aethelwine - this is just one of Storm's strawman arguments to try and get people upset. He's probably actually trying to get his friend, whose hobby is acting exactly like your roadie friend, to join in. However, his friend may be busy today or possibly has run out of forum alts.

[Storm Clarence]

Because you may allow yourself to be victimized doesn't mean everyone else does as well. (Perhaps just your friends.)

Yes, the pain you are feeling from reading these words is absolutely self-inflicted. You like it like that, I'm sure.

 

[Lori Paramour]

OMG, Would that it were so easy in RL to turn some annoying jerk into nothing but a grey puff of smoke that I never had to hear from or see again.   I never hesitate to mute someone who is rude, abusive or just plain annoying.

I have no desire to punish them, all I need do is impinge their ability to lessen or interfere with my enjoyment of SL.  Although I might take some small delight if I where to learned later that they had been run over by a garbage truck irl. 

[Tari Landar]

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Aethelwine wrote:

It seems odd to me you have never witnessed that before. Nine times out of ten in one form or another challenging the offensive person is most effective. Just yesterday some was being upset by comments on my sim. First they got back some put downs in a shut up kind of way. When that didn't work one of the estate managers intervened and made clear to them their conduct was not being appreciated and they left along with their mates No need for drama, no need for bans or blocking. Those should be last resorts not first ones

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It seems odd to me that you'd equally find it effective. I never said I haven't witnessed someone doling it back out on another person. What I said is, it's not effective, and it's not. Your example proves exactly that. The person being hurt by another person's comments decided to throw some back. It solved absolutely nothing, and they had to seek out help from someone else. That's usually what happens when people get into verbal pissing matches or tit for tat, an eye for an eye, those sorts of things. In the end, if you're being verbally assaulted-in any manner-tossing it back at the person isn't going to change what happened and it also won't likely solve the problem. Walking away, muting, blocking, ignoring, is more likely to make the problem fizzle out. Adding fuel to a fire isn't going to make it burn less.

 

edited to fix typos, lol

[Mercury Gandt]

I block things (not only avatars but objects, too) sometimes, but it is never related to any insult or drama or punishment, nothing personal. Blocking is alway technical for me: to mute a sound that is annoying.

As an example: there was a period when I lived in an apartment house in SL. My next door neighbors often used voice to chat. Can you imagine how pleasant it was to stay at Home to listen to the neighbors conversation? Blocking is a very logical thing in this case, nothing personal. The same fits to all the other cases: annoying voice chats, gesture spams, unstoppable public chat during events like theatre productions, or objects creating loud ambiance noise... - all will be blocked by me without any emotion.

[Venus Petrov]

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Skylar Meridoc wrote:

If someone isinsulting us, we simply block them and move on. I have like 20 people on my block list, and i won't unblock them either.

But actually, blocking is not really a punishment.

Sometimes i ask myself:

Isn't there a way i can make them responsible for what they did?

Or what if i block them and they want to apologize?

In RL we would probably call the police, or maybe hit them in the face... but here in SL (or on FB or anywhere else) people simply press the Block button and move on. But... Why?

Aren't those people interested in making others pay for what they did? Like i said, blocking is not really a punishment, and it doesn't hurt to be blocked.

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You already have done so by blocking them.  Move the f**k on.

Unless, of course, you are in SL to RP a police officer or something.  Join an RP group and have at it.

[Skylar Meridoc]

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youngme Loxely wrote:

You are selfish person,that is why you have no control in your thinking and mind

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That was not my question. What did you smoke? can i have some?

[Aethelwine]

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Tari Landar wrote:

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Aethelwine wrote:

It seems odd to me you have never witnessed that before. Nine times out of ten in one form or another challenging the offensive person is most effective. Just yesterday some was being upset by comments on my sim. First they got back some put downs in a shut up kind of way. When that didn't work one of the estate managers intervened and made clear to them their conduct was not being appreciated and they left along with their mates No need for drama, no need for bans or blocking. Those should be last resorts not first ones

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It seems odd to me that you'd equally find it effective. I never said I haven't witnessed someone doling it back out on another person. What I said is, it's not effective, and it's not. Your example proves exactly that. The person being hurt by another person's comments decided to throw some back. It solved absolutely nothing, and they had to seek out help from someone else. That's usually what happens when people get into verbal pissing matches or tit for tat, an eye for an eye, those sorts of things. In the end, if you're being verbally assaulted-in any manner-tossing it back at the person isn't going to change what happened and it also won't likely solve the problem. Walking away, muting, blocking, ignoring, is more likely to make the problem fizzle out. Adding fuel to a fire isn't going to make it burn less.

 

edited to fix typos, lol

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Except it was working, they had got a few great put downs in that made his friends he was acting up in front of laugh. Like... there's not much point shagging yoru brains out when it seems someone else already has, or something like that. When he left he had been bested and humiliated. Timing and finding the right words is perhaps not best for everyone.. but when it is done well it is worthwhile.

 

[Jenni Darkwatch]

I mute liberally for just about any possible reason imagineable.

Wasting my limited online time on people I don't care about is not something I intend to ever do.

Physical attacks are a different matter, but online doesn't have that. At most they can try to grief my avi, in which case I can just leave, sit down/disable particles (stops most griefer attacks) or log off.

Btw, I disagree with the notion that it's totally impossible to hurt someone online. If that were the case, cyberbullying would not be a problem and would not exist. It's quite possible to destroy someones online reputation and that can be just as damaging and devastating as getting physically assaulted.

[Tari Landar]

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Aethelwine wrote:

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Except it was working, they had got a few great put downs in that made his friends he was acting up in front of laugh. Like... there's not much point shagging yoru brains out when it seems someone else already has, or something like that. When he left he had been bested and humiliated. Timing and finding the right words is perhaps not best for everyone.. but when it is done well it is worthwhile.

 

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That would be where we differ. I have never found it worthwhile to be a bully or to get into a pissing match with someone else. Regardless of the reason for doing it, I don't believe it's effective, or the best way to handle it. I don't believe it can be "done well", because it puts you on the very same level as the person you're angry with in the first place. If you're finding it amusing, effective or worthwhile to humiliate others, how does that differ from what they did to you? Totally rhetorical of course.

I tend to follow the two wrongs don't make a right philosophy as often as possible, and it's what I teach my kids. I'll never find it worthwhile to humiliate another person, even if I loathe them with every fiber of my being. In sl, I find even less reason to, when you can easily do away with whatever it is annoying you.

Different strokes for different folks I suppose. The world needs all kinds.

[Madelaine McMasters]

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Tari Landar wrote:

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Aethelwine wrote:

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Except it was working, they had got a few great put downs in that made his friends he was acting up in front of laugh. Like... there's not much point shagging yoru brains out when it seems someone else already has, or something like that. When he left he had been bested and humiliated. Timing and finding the right words is perhaps not best for everyone.. but when it is done well it is worthwhile.

 

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That would be where we differ. I have never found it worthwhile to be a bully or to get into a pissing match with someone else. Regardless of the reason for doing it, I don't believe it's effective, or the best way to handle it. I don't believe it can be "done well", because it puts you on the very same level as the person you're angry with in the first place. If you're finding it amusing, effective or worthwhile to humiliate others, how does that differ from what they did to you? Totally rhetorical of course.

I tend to follow the two wrongs don't make a right philosophy as often as possible, and it's what I teach my kids. I'll never find it worthwhile to humiliate another person, even if I loathe them with every fiber of my being. In sl, I find even less reason to, when you can easily do away with whatever it is annoying you.

Different strokes for different folks I suppose. The world needs all kinds.

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There is a middle ground, which Aeth mentioned in an earlier post.

She said...

"First they got back some put downs in a shut up kind of way. When that didn't work one of the estate managers intervened and made clear to them their conduct was not being appreciated and they left along with their mates"

I don't think I've ever seen fighting "fire with fire" work. I've seen people think it worked. I tried it myself long ago and discovered that I was never able to score that deadly blow. I'm not that clever. I can't find that lethal comeback that lays my opponent out on the ground. All I do is wear myself out, looking dumber, or more obsessed, by the minute. I'm sure it has worked somewhere, but it's not dependable enough to rely on.

I generally advocate ignoring, walking away, etc. But there are times that's the wrong answer. When there's a bully on the playground, walking away may solve your problem, but it doesn't solve the problem for those who remain. You may advise them to walk away, but there's a cost to doing so (leaving the playground or their friends) and they may be unwilling or unable to bear it. I generally ignore trolls here in the forums, but they do sour the experience for others.

I have been accused by SL friends of exacerbating a bad situation by walking away from it. They may be right, I hope not. Sometimes you think you can't address bad behavior, but you can't be completely certain until you try. In Aeth's example, returning fire didn't ultimately work, but the estate manager did intervene, addressing the conduct (not the person) in a way that apparently worked. I have tried that with mixed results, and will continue to try, in hopes of learning to do it better.

Meanwhile, if I can put a smile on someone's face, I'm happy.

 

[Pie Serendipity]

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Aethelwine wrote:

People get hurt all the time on the internet and by words alone.

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Really? Then take "THAT". Did that hurt? Or do I need to say "THIS"? If not, perhaps the punctuation mitigated the effect. Or maybe I am being blunt, and I need to use sharp words in a cutting fashion.

I'll say it again - and again, if necessary - you can't hurt anyone on the internet unless they allow themselves to be hurt - which is why places like this Forum is largely populated by masochists - it's a great place to get those sort of kicks! Your feelings are your own, and whether you consciously own them or not, nobody can force you to feel anything, so don't blame the words of others, or the "meanings" or "sentiments" with which you imbue them, for the feelings you allow yourself to have.

Because it is your problem, not that of the one who writes the words that you are interpreting in your personal way, affected by your life experiences and with your own specific connotations - and ignorance, of course. (In passing, is it possible to be hurt by words that you don't understand, and then to feel hurt only after you have looked the words up in a dictionary, or after you have translated them - and if the latter, do you blame Google Translate rather than the author, and does it make a difference if the original insult has been lost in translation?)

Did you know Billy Bob Thornton has a fear, a phobia even, of antique furniture? Does that mean that Thomas Chippendale should be brought before a court because he has had the temerity to manufacture lots of classic chairs?  Those of you who believe that the onus is on the originator to telepathically predict the over-reactions of a minority of hyper-sensitive readers to his words would doubtless argue for the stringing up of Mr Chippendale, if the word associations weren't distracting them already by making them salivate at mind-images of hunky men, with oiled musculature. (Editor's note for the benefit of American readers: Chippendale is actually dead; he died before the USA became a proper country, and certainly before the natives had invented sitting on chairs rather than the ground.)

I have more, but that is enough Grievous Verbal Harm for the moment. Go have a cry, and come back for more of a beating later.