NicolinaGrant Posted September 16, 2012 Share Posted September 16, 2012 Today I logged on SL, hoping to meet a few new people. I have to admit, I don't have many friends myself on there and the few I have are on different time zones.I've turned pretty lazy when it comes to SL and usually I just get on hoping people will write to me. I even go to crowded places for the purpose of increasing that chance. After being on a few minutes I had nothing so I decided to take the matter into my own hands. I saw a guy in an old-fashioned dress coat and decided to start talking to him:"Hey, you look wealthy wearing that. Where did you get that hat?" Stupid question I know but I just had to say something. However, he replied with "ola". I have this all the time and I'm so tired of it. Poeple are either extremely retarded, have too much of a language barrier or pervs. I know that's a terrible generalization and I'm truly sorry for that.Am I right or unlucky? Please let me know!Thanks in advance! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Kristin Burner Posted September 16, 2012 Share Posted September 16, 2012 mew ma mew Generalizing people in SL is something i end up doing a lot to. I think it might just be that we interact with so many more people, and the text chat medium might be why. I do get really tired of the exact same thing being said at me, that i know repsond with, "Are you reading from the manual" in which i usally get the ? reply which causes an instant generalization of that person being really drooling on there keyboard stupid hahah. Anyways, go to some good live music events or clubs with a good mix of people. There will usually be some public sort of conversations going on that you can join, jus make sure its not an Adult sim or you will be perved a lot in IM. Also try DJ events, if you find a good place and show up there a lot you will end up making friends that you can talk to without wondering if they need a new keyboard or not hahah Thats one way anyways, you could join the roller derby league to Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Izzabelha Posted September 16, 2012 Share Posted September 16, 2012 NicolinaGrant wrote: "Hey, you look wealthy wearing that. Where did you get that hat?" Stupid question I know but I just had to say something. However, he replied with "ola". I have this all the time and I'm so tired of it. Poeple are either extremely retarded, have too much of a language barrier or pervs. I know that's a terrible generalization and I'm truly sorry for that. Am I right or unlucky? Please let me know! Thanks in advance! Seriously? You have problems with others' time zones and their language, get a translator you may find other cultures interesting. Calling people retarded, and pervs are wuite RUDE not just a generalization. Maybe take a look at how you try to connect with others, make it your OWN SL and not depend on others to make you happy hear. A change of how you view and learn to speak to others may hekp you greatly. Good Luck. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Randall Ahren Posted September 16, 2012 Share Posted September 16, 2012 You might consider striking the sentence below from your profile. It may be discouraging a lot of people from IMing you. Also, please notice I'm not interested in doing anything sexual with you. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Porky Gorky Posted September 16, 2012 Share Posted September 16, 2012 Randall Ahren wrote: Also, please notice I'm not interested in doing anything sexual with you. I don't even have genitals so you will be safe talking to me. Quite ironic really as my avatar is called "Porky". Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Theresa Tennyson Posted September 16, 2012 Share Posted September 16, 2012 This is not meant to sound nasty, it's meant as a sincere question meant to help you - Why would anyone want to meet you? I'm not saying there isn't a reason; there probably is one. I'm sure you have lots of good qualities. But if you just stand around hoping for someone to start talking to you, nobody will ever know about them. And another question - Would YOU be interested in meeting someone who acts just the way you do? If you look at yourself and say, "Gee, maybe I WOULDN'T," maybe you should behave differently. Homework assignment: Watch the old Bill Murray movie, "Groundhog Day." Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Amethyst Jetaime Posted September 16, 2012 Share Posted September 16, 2012 One thing I noticed is your profile doesn't tell me anything about you at all. Other than this is an alt and you have 'been around for years and that you turned 18 last year. You have no picks and you hide your groups, you don't say anything about what you like and don't like to do etc. If I saw you out and about, I doubt I'd bother IM'ing you because I don't see that we have anything in common to talk about or something that I could use as an ice breaker. Which brings me to the point of telling you to look at people's profiles for common interests or things that you can use as an ice breaker in starting a conversation and to check to see if they speak English if that's all you want to deal with,which limits your opportunities to get to know some great people and broaden your world outlook BTW. Just because someone answers with ola doesn't mean they can't speak English or doesn't mean that you can't use a translator to have an interesting conversation with them People love talking about themselves, so ask them something about them, not their clothes or something impersonal, based on what you find in their profile. If they live in another country, ask them something about that. Finally you are young and while I have no problem with younger people I find I don't have much in common with them as a basis of a friendship only more as a mentor, which you obviously aren't looking for.. Try to go places where people in your age group hang out as you'll probably have more success there in finding people that have common interests which can form the basis of a true friendship. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Alicia Sautereau Posted September 16, 2012 Share Posted September 16, 2012 C`mon guys, don`t be to mean Had a short conversation and sounds like a nice girl, tho it was abit short of silence most likely by my charming personallity and used to talk to a wall instead of a person About the generalization, It is true, fact, undeniable, no one has ever tried to argument that moot point with me when i say it and do it all the time, give her a break Few months shy of 6 years inworld and making friends is indeed not that easy My own list only has 7 people: 1 alt (easy to transfer money/items), 2 friends that left, 2 people who used to lived next door but never see/hear them and 2 from from my estate owner Some just don`t connect that easy to endup becoming friends, sending friend requests how ever is easy, but pointless :-) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Echo Hermit Posted September 16, 2012 Share Posted September 16, 2012 Greetings, Nicolina You just sound plain fed up, maybe a little depressed. I don't believe anyone in Second Life is at all retarded; if they can work out how to switch on a computer and log in to Second Life, then they must have some intelligence :matte-motes-big-grin-wink: It's a jolly shame about the chap in the old-fashioned dress coat being a non-English speaker; he possibly was also thinking (in his mother-tongue of course) "Oh great, of all the girls in the world, and yet another bloody English speaker has to want to talk to me. Grrrhhh!!!" But that's sod's law isn't it? Going to crowded places doesn't really increase your chances of having quality conversations, I find. Better to pursue something that interests you; I mean, as an example, I like fairgrounds, and took myself off to a fairground one day, where there were only two or three other people. To this day one of the people I met there is still a good friend of mine. We laughed like children as we dared each other to go on the rides. Sounds quite stupid here on the forums, but in the moment, it was excellent. That friendship was followed up with further visits to other fairground-themed places. Just hovering above the Blake Sea oceans has led to me being picked up in a boat and in a helicopter, and once I was abducted by two people in a space ship. These led to some very interesting friendships and adventures. So crowded places are not necessarily the answer, and often, when you least expect it, you find some amazing friends. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Knowl Paine Posted September 17, 2012 Share Posted September 17, 2012 There is a $1,000 usd Fee to cancel your account. I'm only joking, there is No charge, to cancel an account. Just trying to help. I think you're unlucky. Atmosphere is regional, and relative to the company one keeps. Select one interest or hobby you enjoy, and bring that interest into SL. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
161488303349 Posted September 17, 2012 Share Posted September 17, 2012 i find that the best way to end up with interesting people is to chat in open. like just say hi to people you met and say something about their avatar outfit or whatever is happening. like you say clothes and outfits is always a good one to get a convo with strangers going the thing i find is that there are lots of people in crowded places who actual arent in IM with anyone. they come to not be alone. so when appropriate i will start chatting in open chat. about whatever i can see on my screen including them. most times people will join in and other people will just listen. after a time even the quiet will say something as well am quite chatty me most times so that helps + i also do stuff as well like i was at this place and was this person standing off to the side all by himself. after a time i walk over and stand beside him facing in same direction. i not say anything just stand there. after a bit he said; umm! can i help you? and i said: what we looking at ??? he said lol and another person came over and stand by us also and said: yeah! i was wondering as well and it all went from there Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Madelaine McMasters Posted September 17, 2012 Share Posted September 17, 2012 16 wrote: like i was at this place and was this person standing off to the side all by himself. after a time i walk over and stand beside him facing in same direction. ... and it all went from there --- stands next to you and points off into the distance. And it'll all go from here. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Nuhai Ling Posted September 17, 2012 Share Posted September 17, 2012 I noticed that a lot of talk on this thread has to do with meeting other people. I am asked this a lot and here is the advice I have: Make a list of all your interests and then do a search for things associated with them. Sometimes the most "closeted" ones have the best places and groups. For instance, the first group that welcomed me into SL was the Trek fans... yes, I admit it, I like Star Trek. Having similar interests is a great ice breaker and usually there are people that love meeting new friends and showing you around. Not all people respond to you in open chat or IM so do not be offended by it. Many leave SL running in the background if they are listening to the audio feed, chatting in IM, etc. etc. This happens at clubs and contests a lot so listen to open chat to see who is actually paying attention. Do read profiles and don't IM without saying at least hello in open chat. Profiles will tell you a lot about a person and if they are open to starting conversations. Trying open chat first is just a common courtesy... think of it like saying hello in person rather then finding their cell number and calling without them knowing you. Fill out your own profile with interesting things about you. People who spend a decent amount of time read profiles constantly, so having one filled out will get you much more noticed. Last but not least, work on you avatar. Make yourself look unique, approachable, and interesting. You do not have to spend a lot as long as you look like an individual. This is also a good ice breaker no matter how long you are in SL. If you see someone with an outfit, hair, or whatever that catches your eye, say hello and ask them who the designer is. In fact, sending a short, polite IM asking this is the only time I would condone a private message without an open chat greeting first. This is a compliment to the person you are asking and rarely if ever have I ever not had someone say thank you for asking and find me an LM to the store. Good luck and don't get frustrated! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Melita Magic Posted September 17, 2012 Share Posted September 17, 2012 Well, he didn't speak your language. Not sure why you have extrapolated that to all of Second Life. If you want intense interaction and like being verbal (in text), try a roleplay sim. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
wrable Amat Posted September 17, 2012 Share Posted September 17, 2012 You need a hobby and a life,I know it is a harsh thing to say ...but it is true.. Here are a few tips.... We are all made of energy ,most of us emit a large amount and others do not. 90 % of comprehension when listening to a person is NOT words or what you hear , It is all in how you actions .(look it up if you do not believe) Even online our actions say a lot ,I can look at people images they take and post on their profile or here and really read into some one. Social engagement is a skill and is earned not given , you come off like you are asking for a social hand out when you say statements like you did to the ESPANOLA (not retarded) speaking man. Get some game or just live life with one hand on the mouse and the other on your.... Bottom line of what dose not work when making any type of friendship that has meaning and value,you earn it slacker...Do not ask for a buddy hand out or all you get is false friends who pity your sorry butt...you want to be respected and have a attraction value others see in you. These are harsh words but only said in a friendly way Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jo Yardley Posted September 17, 2012 Share Posted September 17, 2012 I'm not in SL to talk to other people but end up chatting a lot. Maybe stop trying so hard Seriously though, an interesting profile may work but what works best is finding a place in SL where you will find likeminded people. I love vintage and nostalgia, so I went to a 1930s bar with old music and within hours of being in SL I found friends and people to chat with. If you are somewhere where people come not just to dance and chat, but because they have a certain interest, you are more likely to meet people you want to chat with and who want to chat with you. And if you can't find a place that plays the music you like or with a theme you love, start your own. Starting a club, bar, rp sim or whatever, is a good way to meet new people. What is your rl passion? Stamp collecting? Visit a stamp collecting bar or start one and you will meet others who share that interest and who will love talking about it. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Orca Flotta Posted September 18, 2012 Share Posted September 18, 2012 Yo wrote: I'm not in SL to talk to other people but end up chatting a lot. And that's it exactly! When I started SL I wasn't particularly interested in other players but in this virtual world as such. I was following my own interests. But I kept an open mind and was friendly enough (I hope) so I never had to offer friendship to anyone. I guess I had 10 people in my list after 2 or 3 days. I just followed my own interests and joined the SL groups and activities for those. When you are in a group/community friends will appear automatically. I never actively looked for friendship but still the friends are just flowing in on me. Nowadays I keep my f-list down to around 200 ppl (I sometimes clean out avies I haven't spoken to in a while). Of course only a handful of them are real friends, most are just aquaintances and allies who happen to share the same hobby. Nicolina wrote: Today I logged on SL, hoping to meet a few new people. Nooooo, that's wrong! Never do that! Log on to do your "thing", to get some work done, to build, to organize, to explore, to "collect stamps" Sometimes I even log in with an alt to get some "me time" and can go shopping or scouting without getting bombed with IM and notecards and group notices and **bleep**. If you don't have and interests or hobbies other than "meeting people" of course you're about to fail. Why should I meet such a boring person? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Sassy Romano Posted September 18, 2012 Share Posted September 18, 2012 Per the subject, "No, just leave" and I mean that in the nicest way. I wouldn't try to keep someone here if they're not enjoying it or have just plain had enough. There's no reason to be here in those cases. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Randall Ahren Posted September 18, 2012 Share Posted September 18, 2012 Sassy Romano wrote: Per the subject, "No, just leave" and I mean that in the nicest way. I wouldn't try to keep someone here if they're not enjoying it or have just plain had enough. There's no reason to be here in those cases. You would make a wonderful suicide hotline counselor. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Madelaine McMasters Posted September 18, 2012 Share Posted September 18, 2012 Randall Ahren wrote: Sassy Romano wrote: Per the subject, "No, just leave" and I mean that in the nicest way. I wouldn't try to keep someone here if they're not enjoying it or have just plain had enough. There's no reason to be here in those cases. You would make a wonderful suicide hotline counselor. Except that Sassy is discussing SLuicide, which might very well be the healthiest thing some people could do. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Sassy Romano Posted September 18, 2012 Share Posted September 18, 2012 Randall Ahren wrote: Sassy Romano wrote: Per the subject, "No, just leave" and I mean that in the nicest way. I wouldn't try to keep someone here if they're not enjoying it or have just plain had enough. There's no reason to be here in those cases. You would make a wonderful suicide hotline counselor. It wouldn't surprise you to know that I wouldn't. My view is "go ahead, just don't inconvenience others, like throw yourself in front of a train during rush hour commuting time" and as another added, there's no reason to be here, it's not quite the same in fact not being here is potentially more healthy for many. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Rufferta Posted September 18, 2012 Share Posted September 18, 2012 I tend to be pretty much a hermit, but if I was looking for friends I would try to find out where like-minded people hang out. I would also try out different avatars to see which ones get a friendly response from those people. I find that I get different reactions from people depending on whether I am being an animal, an African-American girl, an Imelda Marcos, a dwarf, a "hot chick", or an avi that resembles the RL me. When approached by other avatars I am averse to getting in conversation with anyone who has "lust" or similar items in their name, or who is wearing a lot of laggy items (bling and wings) in a public place. I hope you find your place. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
solstyse Posted September 18, 2012 Share Posted September 18, 2012 To the original poster... Is the whole problem that yo9u don't know what to do in Second Life? I noticed you have only one post on this board, and it's basically that you don't know how to meet people, and you gave up after one attempt. In other words, you don't seem too interested in SL. The only thng that can possibly make you stay is if you explore and find something that you ARE interested in. Don't like the language barrier? There are plenty of English only sims. Want an instant ice-breaker? Use the search bar at the top, find a location with a theme you're interested in, and teleport there. It may take a few tries to find one that has people. Read the stuff in the welcome area, then find someone, and start the conversation yourself. You know they'll be interested, or else they'd be somwehere else. If you don't look around, then you never wanted to be here. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Randall Ahren Posted September 19, 2012 Share Posted September 19, 2012 Yep , SL and the future is just wasted on some folks. What they need is a near-life experience. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
161488303349 Posted September 20, 2012 Share Posted September 20, 2012 Madelaine McMasters wrote: 16 wrote: like i was at this place and was this person standing off to the side all by himself. after a time i walk over and stand beside him facing in same direction. ... and it all went from there --- stands next to you and points off into the distance. And it'll all go from here. (: hope you not pointing at any brown dwarf up in the sky that you spot with your telescope. jejejejjejee (: Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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