There is quite a bit of self realization and introspection in the original post. that's a very admirable quality. So is the realization expressed that what can enhance one person's quality of life can cause decline for another.
To the OP, I would wish you luck, but it seems that your intellect will carry you much further than luck ever will. So instead I say that since you are clearly intellegent enough to go far in life, nurture that trait. Always challenge yourself, and continue making the decisions that you know in your heart and soul is right for you. A person who can write a post like yo