Reality Check

[Solaria Goldshark]

There is no nice way to put this:

When your real life photo ends up in your SL (avatar) tab, you''ve missed the point.

When your focus is on an avatar's real life sex makes you cringe, you've missed the point.

When you've lost your ability to use your imagination, you've missed the point.

When you make SL a dating service, you've missed the point.

When you make this life similar to your own, what's the point?

If a sense of escape is not the point, let's shut the whole thing down.

If you've been disappointed by your experience, let's shut the whole thing down.

If you've been heartbroken and can't go on, let's shut the whole thing down.

If you've felt cheated, angry or felt that the world owed you something, by all means, let's shut it down.

Grow up dear residents.

I'd be willing to bet that the best of you take chances, make connections, and form lasting friendships despite any expectations of a person's real life situation...and the latter being the icing on the cake.  The real risk being disappointed on what you might find on the other side.  If you are, leave it at the door.....do not judge the pregnant wife, the slave, the wolf, the vampire, the **bleep**, the tranny, the manwhore, the prostitute, the warrior, the saint, the surfer, the slacker, the fashionista, the builder, the players...for they are all us, and we are legion....and we do not make excuses for our fetishes and fantasies, for that is the point.

Welcome to the escape.

 

I'll clear my plate for a serving of humble pie if I'm wrong.

[Amethyst Jetaime]

When you post how YOU feel about what people should do or how they should act on SL and if they don't  do or act as you want them too tell them they've missed the point , You've missed the point.

Your world Your imagination doesn't mean just you.  SL is what the individual using it makes it, whether that's a game, a fantasy roleplay, a business, a social media platform or and extension of their RL.   For some people it may be more than one thing.

It is also up to the individual to determine how important a person's RL is to them when they form a relationship with them.  However the other other person is free to deny any RL nformation or spill their soul out, that is their choice.

Actually your post is mostly about judging people then you close with a paragraph about not judging people.  Confusing.

[Solaria Goldshark]

---

Amethyst Jetaime wrote:

 

You've missed the point.

Your world Your imagination doesn't mean just you.  SL is what the individual using it makes it, whether that's a game, a fantasy roleplay, a business, a social media platform or and extension of their RL.   For some people it may be more than one thing.

It is also up to the individual to determine how important a person's RL is to them when they form a relationship with them.  However the other other person is free to deny any RL nformation or spill their soul out, that is their choice.

Actually your post is mostly about judging people then you close with a paragraph about not judging people.  Confusing.

---

This is me making room on my plate for a piece of pie.

..and yes.  I am judging people, as we all do....we come for one reason or another and end up in the judgment seat.

 

Your confusion is healthy.

[Lynda Baran]

Sl is many different things to many different people.   For some it's a complete escape into fantasy.   For others it become almost an extension of their RL. 

It's whatever each individual wants it to be, and what makes them happy.   And it's no one else's business what that is.

And THAT is the point which you obviously miss.

[SinfulPrince]

---

Solaria Goldshark wrote:

There is no nice way to put this:

When your real life photo ends up in your SL (avatar) tab, you''ve missed the point.

When your focus is on an avatar's real life sex makes you cringe, you've missed the point.

When you've lost your ability to use your imagination, you've missed the point.

When you make SL a dating service, you've missed the point.

When you make this life similar to your own, what's the point?

If a sense of escape is not the point, let's shut the whole thing down.

If you've been disappointed by your experience, let's shut the whole thing down.

If you've been heartbroken and can't go on, let's shut the whole thing down.

If you've felt cheated, angry or felt that the world owed you something, by all means, let's shut it down.

Grow up dear residents.

I'd be willing to bet that the best of you take chances, make connections, and form lasting friendships despite any expectations of a person's real life situation...and the latter being the icing on the cake.  The real risk being disappointed on what you might find on the other side.  If you are, leave it at the door.....do not judge the pregnant wife, the slave, the wolf, the vampire, the **bleep**, the tranny, the manwhore, the prostitute, the warrior, the saint, the surfer, the slacker, the fashionista, the builder, the players...for they are all us, and we are legion....and we do not make excuses for our fetishes and fantasies, for that is the point.

Welcome to the escape.

 

I'll clear my plate for a serving of humble pie if I'm wrong.

---

My god I think I love you LOL.  Where have you been girl?  **APPLAUDS WILDLY. I couldn't have said it better.

And while I know there are a  fleet of people who will agree with Amethyst, I think what Solaria is getting at really is inferred (at least when I hear it) in the name itself ; SecondLife. She didn't make up that name. Neither did I.  It"s  creators did.  And it smacks of "not your real life", "other than your real life". Other wise they could have just called it Pixel Chat, or The Extention of Life. They however, honest to god , named it "Not Your Life" (if you look at the wording itself) since your life is not a "second" version &already being lived.   ....we hope.

Maybe our flaw is that we are literalists.

[Sassy Romano]

I've always maintained that there are two types of people in SL.  I classify these into "inny's" and "outy's" and from my experience the two do not mix well.

My profile states this clearly and has a simple question which determines quickly which sort they are.

"Where are you now and what are you doing?"

An inny will typically reply "I'm at a ballroom/beach/shop/whatever and i'm looking at <insert inworld thing>".

An outy will usually reply something like "i'm in my office looking out of the window, drinking a beer waiting for SL to rez on my PC".

In my classification, inny's are INworld whereas an outy is OUT of world, just using SL rather than being immersed.  There's nothing wrong with either but from my personal experiences they just don't mix well and the following sort of discussion ensues:-

Me: "Hi"

Him: "Hi, where are you from?"

Me: "Cape Romano, it's a short teleport from here"

Him: "I'm Bjorn from Sweden" (immediately I think he's blond and sings Abba songs all day)

actually I can't be bothered to write the rest of the conversation but it rapidly degrades into phrases like:-

Him: "but I really want to know where you live, something about the REAL you, so that I can better connect with someone" 

and a total failure to disconnect from that and do something different.

As I said, neither is right or wrong, just that they don't gel well together.

[Dilbert Dilweg]

when you forget it is about life and it is about everyones life and how they want it to be, weather it be second or first life. You've missed the point. lol

Live and let live.. It,s not your life they are living. It's theirs and they will do it how they want, when they want and whom they want to with.

I just can't see holding my self up as a template and expect the world to act, think, or feel like me. lol

[Czari Zenovka]

---

Sassy Romano wrote:

I've always maintained that there are two types of people in SL.  I classify these into "inny's" and "outy's" and from my experience the two do not mix well.

My profile states this clearly and has a simple question which determines quickly which sort they are.

"Where are you now and what are you doing?"

An inny will typically reply "I'm at a ballroom/beach/shop/whatever and i'm looking at <insert inworld thing>".

An outy will usually reply something like "i'm in my office looking out of the window, drinking a beer waiting for SL to rez on my PC".

In my classification, inny's are INworld whereas an outy is OUT of world, just using SL rather than being immersed.  There's nothing wrong with either but from my personal experiences they just don't mix well and the following sort of discussion ensues:-

Me: "Hi"

Him: "Hi, where are you from?"

Me: "Cape Romano, it's a short teleport from here"

Him: "I'm Bjorn from Sweden" (immediately I think he's blond and sings Abba songs all day)

actually I can't be bothered to write the rest of the conversation but it rapidly degrades into phrases like:-

Him: "but I really want to know where you live, something about the REAL you, so that I can better connect with someone" 

and a total failure to disconnect from that and do something different.

As I said, neither is right or wrong, just that they don't gel well together.

---

Your encounters are priceless, Sassy.  Seriously, you could write a book or do standup comedy with some of the situations you encounter.  Love it!

 

[Czari Zenovka]

---

SinfulPrince wrote:

---

Solaria Goldshark wrote:

There is no nice way to put this:

When your real life photo ends up in your SL (avatar) tab, you''ve missed the point.

When your focus is on an avatar's real life sex makes you cringe, you've missed the point.

When you've lost your ability to use your imagination, you've missed the point.

When you make SL a dating service, you've missed the point.

When you make this life similar to your own, what's the point?

If a sense of escape is not the point, let's shut the whole thing down.

If you've been disappointed by your experience, let's shut the whole thing down.

If you've been heartbroken and can't go on, let's shut the whole thing down.

If you've felt cheated, angry or felt that the world owed you something, by all means, let's shut it down.

Grow up dear residents.

I'd be willing to bet that the best of you take chances, make connections, and form lasting friendships despite any expectations of a person's real life situation...and the latter being the icing on the cake.  The real risk being disappointed on what you might find on the other side.  If you are, leave it at the door.....do not judge the pregnant wife, the slave, the wolf, the vampire, the **bleep**, the tranny, the manwhore, the prostitute, the warrior, the saint, the surfer, the slacker, the fashionista, the builder, the players...for they are all us, and we are legion....and we do not make excuses for our fetishes and fantasies, for that is the point.

Welcome to the escape.

 

I'll clear my plate for a serving of humble pie if I'm wrong.

---

My god I think I love you LOL.  Where have you been girl?  **APPLAUDS WILDLY. I couldn't have said it better.

And while I know there are a  fleet of people who will agree with Amethyst, I think what Solaria is getting at really is inferred (at least when I hear it) in the name itself ;

Second

Life. She didn't make up that name. Neither did I.  It"s  creators did.  And it smacks of "not your real life", "

other than

your real life". Other wise they could have just called it Pixel Chat, or The Extention of Life. They however, honest to god , named it "Not Your Life" (if you look at the wording itself) since your life is not a "second" version &already being lived.   ....we hope.

Maybe our flaw is that we are literalists.

---

Solaria, meet Sinful; Sinful meet Solaria.  Sounds like you two would make a good couple.

Re: this statement: Solaria is getting at really is inferred (at least when I hear it) in the name itself ; SecondLife. She didn't make up that name. Neither did I.  It"s  creators did.  And it smacks of "not your real life", "other than your real life". Other wise they could have just called it Pixel Chat, or The Extention of Life. They however, honest to god , named it "Not Your Life" (if you look at the wording itself) since your life is not a "second" version &already being lived.   ....we hope.

That's *your* interpretation of it.  A dear friend of mine used to say (and have in her profile), "SL is my "do over" - how I would like to live my life if I could do it all again.  "SecondLife" to her didn't mean "not real life," it meant "a second chance."  We had been friends for 15 years and she had been very ill for most of that time.  In the last few years of her life, SL *was* her "life" as she was bedridden; it was her sole outlet for socializing, being the businesswoman she had been in RL, etc.  Unfortunately she died last Nov.

 

[Nova Convair]

Everyone sees something else in SL and for some it is a dating service. So there is no right or wrong.

I break off communications with people who have no SL imagination or let them try a bit until they break off
This different points of view don't match and that leads to nothing. Only exception is I name my country if someone's interested - that seems to be very interesting for most. Sometimes we switched language in the chat then - hehe - so that info is a bit of use.

[Marybeth Cooperstone]

As is apparent from this thread, SL is different things to different people. For me, it is not fantasy or roleplaying, but part of RL. For others it is roleplaying; something they are not but would like to be, if just for a few hours.

In conversations on SL about family and work, I will talk about my RL family and RL work. For others, it will be made up. When I was a kid, Compuserve, Prodigy, and other bulletin boards are popular. People talked about their real lives, although I am sure some were roleplaying and fantasy. For me, having a conversation in SL is like having a conversation on one of the services like compuserve. I will be talking about RL.

We are different and have different uses for Second Life.

[Solaria Goldshark]

---

Lynda Baran wrote:

Sl is many different things to many different people.   For some it's a complete escape into fantasy.   For others it become almost an extension of their RL. 

It's whatever each individual wants it to be, and what makes them happy.   And it's no one else's business what that is.

And THAT is the point which you obviously miss.

---

Point taken.

....although, that was kinda my point.

[Solaria Goldshark]

---

Sassy Romano wrote:

I've always maintained that there are two types of people in SL.  I classify these into "inny's" and "outy's" and from my experience the two do not mix well.

My profile states this clearly and has a simple question which determines quickly which sort they are.

"Where are you now and what are you doing?"

An inny will typically reply "I'm at a ballroom/beach/shop/whatever and i'm looking at <insert inworld thing>".

An outy will usually reply something like "i'm in my office looking out of the window, drinking a beer waiting for SL to rez on my PC".

In my classification, inny's are INworld whereas an outy is OUT of world, just using SL rather than being immersed.  There's nothing wrong with either but from my personal experiences they just don't mix well.......

---

 

I'm going to say that the two mix just fine, having experienced both types.  For many, the lines may never cross.  Others can find a way to shift between both states as the situation requires.

[Solaria Goldshark]

---

Czari Zenovka wrote:

---

SinfulPrince wrote:

---

Solaria Goldshark wrote:

I'll clear my plate for a serving of humble pie if I'm wrong.

---

  A dear friend of mine used to say (and have in her profile), "SL is my "do over" - how I would like to live my life if I could do it all again.  "SecondLife" to her didnt mean "not real life," it meant "a second chance."  We had been friends for 15 years and she had been very ill for most of that time.  In the last few years of her life, SL *was* her "life" as she was bedridden; it was her sole outlet for socializing, being the businesswoman she had been in RL, etc.  Unfortunately she died last Nov.

 

---

 Thank you for sharing that.

[Sassy Romano]

---

Nova Convair wrote:

Only exception is I name my country if someone's interested - that seems to be very interesting for most.

---

Although not a secret, when someone new asks where i'm from, my answer is usually:-

"I will tell you when it's no longer of any interest"

Where are you from, what's the weather like, how old are you, what do you do for a living? etc. are all easy "ice breakers" but OMG they're so dull!

SL or RL, I cringe at any of these questions and in SL, where i'm from has to be among the least interesting things.

[Sassy Romano]

---

Solaria Goldshark wrote:

---

Sassy Romano wrote:

I've always maintained that there are two types of people in SL.  I classify these into "inny's" and "outy's" and from my experience the two do not mix well.

My profile states this clearly and has a simple question which determines quickly which sort they are.

"Where are you now and what are you doing?"

An inny will typically reply "I'm at a ballroom/beach/shop/whatever and i'm looking at <insert inworld thing>".

An outy will usually reply something like "i'm in my office looking out of the window, drinking a beer waiting for SL to rez on my PC".

In my classification, inny's are INworld whereas an outy is OUT of world, just using SL rather than being immersed.  There's nothing wrong with either but from my personal experiences they just don't mix well.......

---

 

I'm going to say that the two mix just fine, having experienced both types.  For many, the lines may never cross.  Others can find a way to shift between both states as the situation requires.

---

Then the person is neither inny or outy under my classification.  That is my experience, those who are totally immersed, choose NOT to be un-immersed and that's why they don't mix well with those who cannot or choose not to immerse.

If you're flipping between either, then you're neither of my types.

[Perrie Juran]

---

Solaria Goldshark wrote:

---

Lynda Baran wrote:

Sl is many different things to many different people.   For some it's a complete escape into fantasy.   For others it become almost an extension of their RL. 

It's whatever each individual wants it to be, and what makes them happy.   And it's no one else's business what that is.

And THAT is the point which you obviously miss.

---

Point taken.

....although, that was kinda my point.

---

I think I passed the Point Of No Return the day I first logged into SL.

 

[Venus Petrov]

Fortunately, for all residents, SL is not a 'my way or the highway' kind of experience.  If you meet someone who is not your cuppa tea, politely move along.  No...big...deal.

[Tiffy Vella]

---

Sassy Romano wrote:

I've always maintained that there are two types of people in SL.  I classify these into "inny's" and "outy's" and from my experience the two do not mix well.

My profile states this clearly and has a simple question which determines quickly which sort they are.

"Where are you now and what are you doing?"

An inny will typically reply "I'm at a ballroom/beach/shop/whatever and i'm looking at <insert inworld thing>".

An outy will usually reply something like "i'm in my office looking out of the window, drinking a beer waiting for SL to rez on my PC".

In my classification, inny's are INworld whereas an outy is OUT of world, just using SL rather than being immersed.  There's nothing wrong with either but from my personal experiences they just don't mix well and the following sort of discussion ensues:-

Me: "Hi"

Him: "Hi, where are you from?"

Me: "Cape Romano, it's a short teleport from here"

Him: "I'm Bjorn from Sweden" (immediately I think he's blond and sings Abba songs all day)

actually I can't be bothered to write the rest of the conversation but it rapidly degrades into phrases like:-

Him: "but I really want to know where you live, something about the REAL you, so that I can better connect with someone" 

and a total failure to disconnect from that and do something different.

As I said, neither is right or wrong, just that they don't gel well together.

---

Well said

If ASL-ed...my answer is always.."well..Tiffy, of course, I'm five-and-a-half, and I'm from sunny Sinaburoe. And yes, the weather is very nice there today! "

[MoiselleErin Teardrop]

I tend to take people at face value in SL. We all know that people are not often the same in SL as in RL.

It just doesn't matter to me. I am no one special in RL. I don't live in a fancy house or model for Victoria Secret.

If I form a long time friendship with someone in SL, sure RL eventually comes into play with our chats and such but we are talking those who I have associated with for years or at LEAST months. I mean like when I am going to get intimate, I will ask and tell about age (just for the CYA factor) but i don't ask if they are "really" a man or woman in RL.

I have yet to run into anyone who treats SL as if it were FB. If I did, I don't think I would want to know them much.

 

The point of SL is to live and be as you want to have fun and be happy. Oh wait, that is also the point of real life too.

 

You could judge someone in SL because of who or what they are in RL but that is just stupid cause you are not likely going to meet in RL anyways so what the f*** does it matter? Some would say "but what if I get in this intimate relationship and find out their real sex is not their SL sex?" Problem with that is - you have already taken the fantasy too far. You really think that person in RL is this mystical, magical sex machine that will fall from heaven one day and you two will ride into the sunset? Get real.

[Nova Convair]

Some people can obviously not differentiate between the real life person and an avatar. They don't realize that for others that are 2 different incarnations of a person which have more or less or nothing in common.

I am not my avatar and my avatar is not me. Point. It's important that this 2 worlds are unlinked.
That way I could dance nude on a table with my RL boss sitting at and nobody would know about. (just an example)
That is true freedom in SL even if I don't want to do everything in SL I could do so without any kind of RL feedback.

So for me SL is a second life for fun and relaxation, simple and easy. Communication with people who are caught in their RL is simply not possible.

 

[Deja Letov]

Maybe I'm the odd man out here, but if this game felt like a complete separation of real life from the game life, I probably wouldn't play. I don't think anyone has missed the point, because the point of this "game" is to make it what you want of it. Heck it is a user created world so why shouldn't someone use it for a dating service, or for roleplay, or to sit around and talk about their brand new car? It's their world and I think to say someone missed the point only comes off as they aren't playing the way you think they should play, which seems pretty selfinvolved.

Since day one of being in SL, I've always had a connection between my avatar and my real life. Yes, I have a real life picture in my 1st life tab. And yes, I actually met my husband in SL 4 years ago. Not from a dating service but from an RP sim we met on that went from casual talking that evolved into something more. He started off as my SL husband and is now my RL husband. When we found out we're having our first baby...I sent a notice out to my customer list to share our fantastic news. In fact, I join it all together so much that when our baby is born this coming December, I've already started working on a nursery set in SL that I plan on sending out as a gift to a group of my customers. I REALLY enjoy mixing my RL with my SL, in fact it only enchances the experience for me. And I certainly wouldn't "shut it down" because doing so makes this a good place for me.

[Senobia Xenga]

---

Amethyst Jetaime wrote:

When you post how YOU feel about what people should do or how they should act on SL and if they don't  do or act as you want them too tell them they've missed the point ,

You've missed the point.

---

^^ This.

[Ceka Cianci]

---

SinfulPrince wrote:

---

---

My god I think I love you LOL.  Where have you been girl?  **APPLAUDS WILDLY. I couldn't have said it better.

And while I know there are a  fleet of people who will agree with Amethyst, I think what Solaria is getting at really is inferred (at least when I hear it) in the name itself ;

Second

Life. She didn't make up that name. Neither did I.  It"s  creators did.  And it smacks of "not your real life", "

other than

your real life". Other wise they could have just called it Pixel Chat, or The Extention of Life. They however, honest to god , named it "Not Your Life" (if you look at the wording itself) since your life is not a "second" version &already being lived.   ....we hope.

Maybe our flaw is that we are literalists.

---

do you have a work life and a home life?

which one is the real life? both?

second life for me is the relaxed virtual life away from the other two..second life just means your virtual life..

it can be as simple as going from real version of you to the toon version..or it can be as fantasy as we want..

why people try to put their limits on others as if they are strange and thinking others are doing it wrong or getting it wrong just baffles me..

like they have it all figured out enough to tell everyone else what it really means here..

 someone thinking they have it all figured out for someone else..that's missing the point..

 

the directions someoe can go in second life is like looking at one of those dots on a map where it say's "you are here" then taking that dot and turning it into a pin cushion of the directions you can go..

the real point is..we will probably need a bigger pin cushion..more than you guys thinking we need a smaller one..

 

[Madelaine McMasters]

---

Solaria Goldshark wrote:

There is no nice way to put this:

(I agree.)

When your real life photo ends up in your SL (avatar) tab, you''ve missed the point.

(If you're looking for RL friends who are creative and open-minded, SL's for you! (mostly) )

When your focus is on an avatar's real life sex makes you cringe, you've missed the point.

(I'd comment on this if I understood it.)

When you've lost your ability to use your imagination, you've missed the point.

(Have you ever gone to a movie, a concert or an art gallery or read a book? One can enjoy the imagination of others.)

When you make SL a dating service, you've missed the point.

(If you goal is to find a date, you could do worse than SL.)

When you make this life similar to your own, what's the point?

(When you like the life you have and the person you are, why change?)

If a sense of escape is not the point, let's shut the whole thing down.

(So SL is only for those who find RL overwhelming and must escape it? What about people who make their RL living by selling things in SL, should we boot them out?)

If you've been disappointed by your experience, let's shut the whole thing down.

(If we are obligated to enjoy the experience, where's the incentive to improve it?)

If you've been heartbroken and can't go on, let's shut the whole thing down.

(For those who can't go on, your advice is superfluous. I don't think there are a lot of them.)

If you've felt cheated, angry or felt that the world owed you something, by all means, let's shut it down.

(And by all means, do NOT return to RL unless none of this has ever happened to you there.)

Grow up dear residents.

(You first! ;-)

I'd be willing to bet that the best of you take chances, make connections, and form lasting friendships despite any expectations of a person's real life situation...and the latter being the icing on the cake.  The real risk being disappointed on what you might find on the other side.  If you are, leave it at the door.....do not judge the pregnant wife, the slave, the wolf, the vampire, the **bleep**, the tranny, the manwhore, the prostitute, the warrior, the saint, the surfer, the slacker, the fashionista, the builder, the players...for they are all us, and we are legion....and we do not make excuses for our fetishes and fantasies, for that is the point.

I don't understand the self contradiction here, Solaria. You give a list of wrongs, then say it's all good.

Welcome to the escape.

Frankly, you don't make me feel very welcome. Am I missing the point?

 

I'll clear my plate for a serving of humble pie if I'm wrong.

I'm a terrible cook, you needn't eat it.