Fake Outrageous Reviews, Complaints, and Demands for Bellisseria Features/Design

[Love Zhaoying]

A thread for a little humor, inspired by "over-the-top" posts in "SSP" and other threads.

Examples: 

- Complaint: "I don't like my Houseboat, it's over water."

- Demand: "Belli should not have mailboxes, because we do not have mailboxes in my country."

- 1-Star Review: "I give it 1 star, because LL will not force my neighbor to leave. I want their house."

What could go wrong?

[Rat Luv]

48 minutes ago, Love Zhaoying said:

Demand: "Belli should not have mailboxes, because we do not have mailboxes in my country."

🤬

You mean FAILboxes....

Over-entitled oldbie  SNAIL MAIL addicts lagging Belli with these griefer boxes  instead of sending an IM...

And post office vans driving through your living room at 90 mph...mute, derender, EJECT EJECT 🤬

[Love Zhaoying]

10 minutes ago, Rat Luv said:

🤬

You mean FAILboxes....

Over-entitled oldbie  SNAIL MAIL addicts lagging Belli with these griefer boxes  instead of sending an IM...

And post office vans driving through your living room at 90 mph...mute, derender, EJECT EJECT 🤬

Reminds me of something I read about awhile back, my version for this thread..

Feature Request version: "Belli mailboxes need to deliver messages to the house owner."

Complaint version: "The Belli mailboxes won't let me add notecards for the resident."

Review version:  "The Belli Postal Service is very poor. I keep checking my Belli mailbox, but there is no mail."

 

[animats]

I put my BelliBin and dead Xmas tree out at the curb, and neither of them was picked up. Where's the Bellessaria Department of Solid Waste when you need them?

[PheebyKatz]

34 minutes ago, animats said:

I put my BelliBin and dead Xmas tree out at the curb, and neither of them was picked up. Where's the Bellessaria Department of Solid Waste when you need them?

You have to put it out on Thursday, that's "big trash" day.

[AmeliaJ08]

What is SSP?

[elleevelyn]

i parked my car on the street outside my friend's house when I went visit them. My car was immediately towed away when I go out of my car. I am outrage about this as there wasn't any No Parking sign

[Love Zhaoying]

The Belli "Welcome Package" did not include a trash bin. Are we supposed to use our own?

What about recyclables? Are we supposed to use a special "blue bin" for recyclable waste?

 

[Love Zhaoying]

9 minutes ago, AmeliaJ08 said:

What is SSP?

I often forget, that I correctly guessed what "SSP" meant on page 1 or 2 of the "SSP" thread - Patch said so! 

However, Patch never directly confirmed. I think my answer in that post was "Super Secret Project"?  

We'd have to go back to the "SSP" thread and check my answers.  I am not sure if anyone else gave that same answer or got confirmation.

Edited February 3 by Love Zhaoying

[Ceka Cianci]

Great! Now you guys have me wondering what SSP is, and I don't even care what it is..

Thanks a lot for Pique'in my freakin curiosity! \o/

Edited February 3 by Ceka Cianci

[Love Zhaoying]

Complaint:  "In my country, 'Bellisseria' is a nonsense word. You must change the name of the continent because I am offended."

Demand: "Bellisseria did not live up to its name, whatever its name means."

Feature Request: "I want to name the region I am in so it will not be part of Bellisseria."

 

Edited February 3 by Love Zhaoying

[Love Zhaoying]

1 hour ago, animats said:

I put my BelliBin

Complaint: I did not get a BelliBin when I moved in.

 

[diamond Marchant]

1 hour ago, Love Zhaoying said:

The Belli "Welcome Package" did not include a trash bin. Are we supposed to use our own?

What about recyclables? Are we supposed to use a special "blue bin" for recyclable waste?

 

Dead serious response: BelliBins are real and yes, you use the blue ones for recycling (and the yellow ones for your toxic waste, orange for bio waste, green for yard debris)

Sad but true response (almost cries):

2 hours ago, animats said:

Where's the Bellessaria Department of Solid Waste when you need them?

Well, years ago we made the very reasonable request to "the powers that be" to award the esteemed Bellisseria Deptartment of Solid Waste (and not-solid waste) an ENTIRE region for use as a landfill. Note that we were being VERY VERY scientific as Belli has tons of waste and a 256x256m region hardly seems sufficient to contain it. We used as precedent the fact that the Bellisserria Bureau of Bureaucracy or whatever those SLACKERs call themselves get a whole region to themselves... not fair (sobs). This egregious misallocation of resources has left the BDSW demoralized. It's a tragedy.

To add injury to insult, it seems that the marvelous HUD used to collect trash has been broken for a while and not a peep from anyone. I was able to bribe a techy kid down the street to fix it and it (BelliFind HUD ) is being bulk redelivered as we write/read. Some joy amongst the sadness.

Edited February 4 by diamond Marchant

[Extrude Ragu]

12 hours ago, Rat Luv said:

🤬

You mean FAILboxes....

Over-entitled oldbie  SNAIL MAIL addicts lagging Belli with these griefer boxes  instead of sending an IM...

And post office vans driving through your living room at 90 mph...mute, derender, EJECT EJECT 🤬

This resurrected an old memory for me.

Back when I first started SecondLife in 2008, there was a roleplay community that was largely vehicle based. Every residence in the community had a functioning mailbox. I was employed as a mail man and given my own mail truck. My job was to drive around delivering notecards to mailboxes. Nostalgia...

[Love Zhaoying]

Complaint: I have a BelliBin, but I cannot get the Bots to stay in the Bin.  Can I use a zero-second Orb instead?

 

[Love Zhaoying]

12 hours ago, Rat Luv said:

🤬

You mean FAILboxes....

Over-entitled oldbie  SNAIL MAIL addicts lagging Belli with these griefer boxes  instead of sending an IM...

And post office vans driving through your living room at 90 mph...mute, derender, EJECT EJECT 🤬

I forgot to mention, this is written in the style of someone, but for the Second Life of me, I simply cannot think of who that may be!

Good show!

 

[animats]

2 hours ago, diamond Marchant said:

Dead serious response: BelliBins are real and yes, you use the blue ones for recycling (and the yellow ones for your toxic waste, orange for bio waste, green for yard debris)

Sad but true response (almost cries):

Well, years ago we made the very reasonable request to "the powers that be" to award the esteemed Bellisseria Deptartment of Solid Waste (and not-solid waste) an ENTIRE region for use as a landfill. Note that we were being VERY VERY scientific as Belli has tons of waste and a 256x256m region hardly seems sufficient to contain it. We used as precedent the fact that the Bellisserria Bureau of Bureaucracy or whatever those SLACKERs call themselves get a whole region to themselves... not fair (sobs). This egregious misallocation of resources has left the BDSW demoralized. It's a tragedy.

To add injury to insult, it seems that the marvelous HUD used to collect trash has been broken for a while and not a peep from anyone. I was able to bribe a techy kid down the street to fix it and it (BelliFind HUD ) is being bulk redelivered as we write/read. Some joy amongst the sadness.

Nice.

Discarded Xmas tree in Bellesaria. I put this out for a week or so each year.

If BelliBins were being emptied on a regular basis, it would be fun to have a "big trash" script you could put into unwanted objects. When the BelliBin is emptied, nearby big trash would delete itself.

Edited February 4 by animats

[PheebyKatz]

3 hours ago, Love Zhaoying said:

What about recyclables? Are we supposed to use a special "blue bin" for recyclable waste?

They should have issued you one, I guess someone stole it. Sucks, cos they're a 5000L$ fine to replace.

*looks at her warehouse full of black market blue bins, rubs her hands together*

Edited February 4 by PheebyKatz

[InnerCity Elf]

⭐ Can't move to Belli, don't have no PhD in BelliBinology?!!111?!

⭐ ⭐ Had to relocate a belisserillion times before finally getting a location I liked.

⭐ ⭐ ⭐ It's okay, I guess. Could be okayer, could be less okay. Meh. Everything was better in the last millennium!

⭐ ⭐ ⭐ ⭐ Super awesome, but have to take off one star because they should deliver a surname choice "Bellissarian" with each Belli home.

⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐ I'm so in love with my BelliBins. It took me a while to figure out what goes where when, but once you master the system, it's so beautiful! My only tiny complaint is that I'd also need a BelliBelloBin, as I'm planning on getting a Lifelikeable doggie, but a friend told me there are self-decomposing bags that you can throw in the regular bins then, so I'm still giving five stars. I'll revisit this review to modify the rating if there's anything I don't like, as I'm only living here since a day so far, and have spent it on the BelliBins instructions, so I can't really say anything about Belli itself, but I'm sure it's great. I mean, people wouldn't call Bellisseria Belli if it wasn't great, amirite.

 

[Arduenn Schwartzman]

On 2/3/2024 at 12:46 PM, Rat Luv said:

mute, derender, EJECT EJECT

[Arduenn Schwartzman]

⭐ Where are all the sexy time belli dancers? I've looked and looked and looked, but there were only people shouting at me, telling me I should get our of 'their' house. Would have given it zero stars, if I could.

Edited February 4 by Arduenn Schwartzman

[Love Zhaoying]

1 hour ago, Arduenn Schwartzman said:

"..and here we see BelliBots, on their daily rounds to deliver mail, empty Bellibins, and enforce the Belli Covenant rules."

 

[AmeliaJ08]

13 hours ago, animats said:

Nice.

Discarded Xmas tree in Bellesaria. I put this out for a week or so each year.

If BelliBins were being emptied on a regular basis, it would be fun to have a "big trash" script you could put into unwanted objects. When the BelliBin is emptied, nearby big trash would delete itself.

I want all this to be real because I always wanted to drive the garbage truck. Please tell me this is a job I can do.

[Love Zhaoying]

Complaint: "Bellisseria After Dark" turned out to just be an EEP setting.

[Zalificent Corvinus]

11 minutes ago, Love Zhaoying said:

Complaint: "Bellisseria After Dark" turned out to just be an EEP setting.

That's so the Kommunity Kommisars from the Bellicosian Neighbourhood Snitch Program, can lurk unseen in their Night-Ops Black Camo while using their x-ray binoculars to spy on the neighbours.

Makes it easier to report the neighbours for "Un-Bellicosian Activities"