What behavior do you find off-putting?

[Arielle Popstar]

1 hour ago, Rowan Amore said:

A friend of mine here had a gf in SL who actually got upset because he was going out on a date in RL.  He states very clearly in his profile (which I assume the gf read at some point), that he's not looking for any exclusive or RL hookups.

The few times I was involved with someone in SL, I was very happy when they found someone in RL.  To be jealous over someone finding happiness in RL?  That just boggles my mind.

The only thing I would hope for though is that the one who found a r/l relationship be upfront that they have found something serious. Otherwise the one left behind is left wondering why the emotional withdrawal and the less frequent logging in and shorter inworld time.

It could emotionally sting at first but at least it allows for a clean break rather than days, weeks or longer even wondering. It gets messy when one hasn't fully committed to either.

[Love Zhaoying]

"I only need L$XX more to buy _____."

[Sid Nagy]

2 hours ago, Rowan Amore said:

I agree that it's a pretty stupid question to even ask.  If I were a man using a female avatar, I could lie and say Yes.  Since I'm a female using a female avatar, the answer is also, Yes.  What was the.point of the question again?

"Voice verification" will be the answer to the next question I guess.

[Love Zhaoying]

59 minutes ago, gwynchisholm said:

idk

idc!

[AmberJoyBliss]

When longterm users of these forums start with the toxicity.

I feel like there is a small group of very negative people here that run these forums and make it very unattractive to participate.

Due to past experiences here, I edit and re-edit and delete most of my replies here because of what to expect. It is very similar to when you live with an abuser, you must carefully plan your every move, because you never know how or when they will respond. 

I walk on eggshells around everything I say here.

[Rowan Amore]

30 minutes ago, Sid Nagy said:

"Voice verification" will be the answer to the next question I guess.

And why I put 'married and totally unverified' in my profile...not that people even bother reading it.  If nothing else, for the love of...at least read someone's 2nd and 1st life tabs.  

 

[BilliJo Aldrin]

8 minutes ago, AmberJoyBliss said:

When longterm users of these forums start with the toxicity.

I feel like there is a small group of very negative people here that run these forums and make it very unattractive to participate.

Due to past experiences here, I edit and re-edit and delete most of my replies here because of what to expect. It is very similar to when you live with an abuser, you must carefully plan your every move, because you never know how or when they will respond. 

I walk on eggshells around everything I say here.

I agree with you 100% there. 

[Love Zhaoying]

10 minutes ago, AmberJoyBliss said:

When longterm users of these forums start with the toxicity.

I feel like there is a small group of very negative people here that run these forums and make it very unattractive to participate.

Due to past experiences here, I edit and re-edit and delete most of my replies here because of what to expect. It is very similar to when you live with an abuser, you must carefully plan your every move, because you never know how or when they will respond. 

I walk on eggshells around everything I say here.

I agree. And I've only been on the Forums a few years, compared to the long-timers! (No matter what anyone thinks about me on the Forums.)

 

[Love Zhaoying]

3 minutes ago, Rowan Amore said:

And why I put 'married and totally unverified' in my profile...not that people even bother reading it.  If nothing else, for the love of...at least read someone's 2nd and 1st life tabs.  

 

It's off-putting when the 2nd and 1st life tabs are either blank, or all lies anyway!

 

[BilliJo Aldrin]

9 minutes ago, Love Zhaoying said:

It's off-putting when the 2nd and 1st life tabs are either blank, or all lies anyway!

 

Just curious, how do you tell the lies from the truth?

[Love Zhaoying]

"Where's your fur?"

[Janet Voxel]

2 hours ago, Love Zhaoying said:

This brought up a VERY off-putting behavior I was subjected to.

My SL partner, unbeknownst to me, thought we were going to meet one day and be together in RL. 

It had never occurred to me..he is on a different continent..and I never tried to mislead him or saw it coming.

He got upset when I started talking about certain RL things, which made this come up. 

Anyway, because of this I think that if I ever partner someone again, I will set this expectation from the start: no matter what RL information we share or talk about, it doesn't imply I want to get together in RL.

I think this is a very common belief.

I was talking to a guy that was caring for an autistic son. I think that’s very admirable, but he kept implying that he needed a woman to help him and maybe that woman was me. 
 

When I told him that was a pretty tough sell and not very likely, the IMing as soon as I logged on stopped, along with the romantic off lines. *shrugs*
 

Theres been a few guys over the years that seem to have been implying they’d be willing to travel internationally for papers too. When I tell them I’m good with them being my online pretend boyfriend, the romance immediately stops.

 

[Janet Voxel]

38 minutes ago, AmberJoyBliss said:

When longterm users of these forums start with the toxicity.

I feel like there is a small group of very negative people here that run these forums and make it very unattractive to participate.

I’ve been saying this for years now. 
 

What adds insult to injury is they seem to get away with it.

[Sid Nagy]

47 minutes ago, AmberJoyBliss said:

I walk on eggshells around everything I say here.

Why?
Other forumites only have the same rights as you have. Simply don't care that others might have other opinions. At least that is what I do. It is not the end of the world if I don't win the Internet every time.

Forums are made for information and discussion. Discussions are pretty boring if everybody is exactly on the same page all the time IMHO. And some are friendlier than others, just like in RL, because we are all people hidden behind the avatars.

The only group that could harm you (by using the ban hammer on the forums or even in world) have the last name Linden or Mole. Most of them who are regularly on these forums are good people too BTW.

Edited January 12 by Sid Nagy
Always edit a good responce. 😏

[Marigold Devin]

3 hours ago, Love Zhaoying said:

People don't trust you enough to believe you are the avatar you represent as, but trust you enough to think you will answer honestly..?

That is a good point. 

[Marigold Devin]

43 minutes ago, AmberJoyBliss said:

When longterm users of these forums start with the toxicity.

I feel like there is a small group of very negative people here that run these forums and make it very unattractive to participate.

Due to past experiences here, I edit and re-edit and delete most of my replies here because of what to expect. It is very similar to when you live with an abuser, you must carefully plan your every move, because you never know how or when they will respond. 

I walk on eggshells around everything I say here.

It is only a small group, but they don't run the forums, even if they may give off the impression that they think that they do. That's just their arrogance/narcisissm showing itself. 

But we are all like crows and cranes, we all find our own level, the people we rub along with, and those we clash with from time to time. 

And that's why I always come back to forums even after a break when I feel the balance is temporarily off. 

No need to walk on eggshells. Just you be you, it helps with the balance.

[Marigold Devin]

5 minutes ago, Janet Voxel said:

I’ve been saying this for years now. 
 

What adds insult to injury is they seem to get away with it.

They seem to, but my guess is they get plenty of warnings from the mods.

 

[Sid Nagy]

5 minutes ago, Marigold Devin said:

They seem to, but my guess is they get plenty of warnings from the mods.

 

Some people would love it, if we had one of these on the forums:

Edited January 12 by Sid Nagy

[Rowan Amore]

IDK, if I were constantly walking on eggshells here or always felt as if I were being attacked, I'd take a long look at what it is that I might be saying or how I'm saying it.  Often, subtleties are lost or words are taken the wrong way.  It's happened to me here.  No offense was intended yet offense was felt by someone.  I've apologized privately to several people on the forums for something I've said.  It doesn't mean I didn't mean what I said but it was interpreted the wrong way.  An explanation usually helps.

I've seen new people come in here with a crappy attitude to start with so they do get back what they give out.  Is that so hard to imagine?  

[Ceka Cianci]

1 hour ago, AmberJoyBliss said:

When longterm users of these forums start with the toxicity.

I feel like there is a small group of very negative people here that run these forums and make it very unattractive to participate.

Due to past experiences here, I edit and re-edit and delete most of my replies here because of what to expect. It is very similar to when you live with an abuser, you must carefully plan your every move, because you never know how or when they will respond. 

I walk on eggshells around everything I say here.

Sometimes you just have to walk right through and not give a shiat.. What's really gonna happen? a small group cancels you?  hehehe

Edited January 12 by Ceka Cianci

[Love Zhaoying]

Repeat Flouncing

[Istelathis]

4 minutes ago, Love Zhaoying said:

Repeat Flouncing

Yeah, but in the summers they are appreciated for the cool breeze generated.  The longer the dress, the better, I've been trying to think of ways to convince them all to wander around with wings so we get more air disturbance.  

[Love Zhaoying]

2 minutes ago, Istelathis said:

Yeah, but in the summers they are appreciated for the cool breeze generated.  The longer the dress, the better, I've been trying to think of ways to convince them all to wander around with wings so we get more air disturbance.  

Hard to find a good fluncery these days, they've gone the way of the haberdashery.

Edited January 12 by Love Zhaoying
Spelled "fluncery" on purpose, vs. the incorrect "flouncery". Grammar matters!

[Love Zhaoying]

Grammar Police

also: Unintelligible writing

 

[BilliJo Aldrin]

1 hour ago, Janet Voxel said:

I think this is a very common belief.

I was talking to a guy that was caring for an autistic son. I think that’s very admirable, but he kept implying that he needed a woman to help him and maybe that woman was me. 
 

When I told him that was a pretty tough sell and not very likely, the IMing as soon as I logged on stopped, along with the romantic off lines. *shrugs*
 

Theres been a few guys over the years that seem to have been implying they’d be willing to travel internationally for papers too. When I tell them I’m good with them being my online pretend boyfriend, the romance immediately stops.

 

I shut them down right away when they even hint at RL. what part of happily married in RL don’t they understand?