What wrong with being a fanboy/ fangirl?

[Ingrid Ingersoll]

Here's a link about toxic fandom which some others have mentioned.

https://www.verywellmind.com/what-is-toxic-fandom-5214499

"when fans feel threatened, either by other fans or the owners and creators of a piece of intellectual property, they may lash out in defensive and so-called toxic ways."

[Love Zhaoying]

1 minute ago, Ingrid Ingersoll said:

Here's a link about toxic fandom which some others have mentioned.

https://www.verywellmind.com/what-is-toxic-fandom-5214499

"when fans feel threatened, either by other fans or the owners and creators of a piece of intellectual property, they may lash out in defensive and so-called toxic ways."

Do you draw a conclusion as to Second Life, or the Forum in particular? I may have missed a post. 🙂

 

[Ingrid Ingersoll]

1 minute ago, Love Zhaoying said:

Do you draw a conclusion as to Second Life, or the Forum in particular? I may have missed a post. 🙂

Just generally, if you become so wrapped up in something, it can lead you to lose perspective and behave in ways you may not normally. 

[Love Zhaoying]

Just now, Ingrid Ingersoll said:

Just generally, if you become so wrapped up in something, it can lead you to lose perspective and behave in ways you may not normally. 

"CAN".  I would hope that people can both be "big fans" and also adult enough to not become "toxic".

Hope springs eternal!

[Bree Giffen]

We need a separate forum section for people who love SL and post positive things. It should be called the only fans section.

[Love Zhaoying]

Just now, Bree Giffen said:

We need a separate forum section for people who love SL and post positive things. It should be called the only fans section.

Ironically, over the years when I made various "positive threads", they are hard to keep going!

So an entire forum section sounds better, give people a place to look for existing threads.

We do have the "master thread", "Pet Delights": 

 

[Rowan Amore]

On the other side, when someone complains about everything in regards to something, one wonders why they even bother with that something.  Maybe for them, it's a good time to step back and reassess why they engaged with it to start with and whether their reasons are no longer a reason to stay engaged.

If I consistently find myself upset, disenchanted, fed-up or just not enjoying something, I stop doing it.  

[Marigold Devin]

Just now, Rowan Amore said:

On the other side, when someone complains about everything in regards to something, one wonders why they even bother with that something.  Maybe for them, it's a good time to step back and reassess why they engaged with it to start with and whether their reasons are no longer a reason to stay engaged.

If I consistently find myself upset, disenchanted, fed-up or just not enjoying something, I stop doing it.  

A change or even just a break is as good as a rest. I always think how we're bound to have moments when things become tedious or tiring. After all, if I was offered my most favourite food for every meal, I would no doubt come to HATE it. 

[Luna Bliss]

1 minute ago, Rowan Amore said:

On the other side, when someone complains about everything in regards to something, one wonders why they even bother with that something.  Maybe for them, it's a good time to step back and reassess why they engaged with it to start with and whether their reasons are no longer a reason to stay engaged.

If I consistently find myself upset, disenchanted, fed-up or just not enjoying something, I stop doing it.  

lol I was thinking along the same line...

I've noticed over the years that usually those who are extremely vocal about trashing SL seem to spend nearly all their waking hours inworld.   So yeah, you have to ask, if you hate it so much why u here so much?

On the other hand, maybe they just need something to hate.

[Marigold Devin]

9 minutes ago, Love Zhaoying said:

Ironically, over the years when I made various "positive threads", they are hard to keep going!

So an entire forum section sounds better, give people a place to look for existing threads.

We do have the "master thread", "Pet Delights": 

 

Yes, strange isn't it how the positive threads often lose momentum but humans are more likely to continue grumbling. We are so faulty as a species. (Not you, of course, because you are feline ) 

[Love Zhaoying]

3 minutes ago, Rowan Amore said:

On the other side, when someone complains about everything in regards to something, one wonders why they even bother with that something.  Maybe for them, it's a good time to step back and reassess why they engaged with it to start with and whether their reasons are no longer a reason to stay engaged.

If I consistently find myself upset, disenchanted, fed-up or just not enjoying something, I stop doing it.  

Exactly! These "net detractors" lash out at "Fanboys" / "Fangirls" in an EXTREMELY "toxic" manner.

So, quite honestly - compared to them, at least on the Forums, turning it around is almost a form of "gaslighting"!

 

[Ayashe Ninetails]

SL absolutely has its toxic fandoms. Brand wars, roleplay communities, people straight up battling and threatening, harassment, etc.

Read enough posts on social media, certain websites, etc. and you'll find them.

Edited July 13, 2023 by Ayashe Ninetails
Grammaring

[Luna Bliss]

2 minutes ago, Ayashe Ninetails said:

SL absolutely has its toxic fandoms. Brand wars, roleplay communities, people straight up battling and threatening, harassment, etc.

Read enough posts on social media, certain websites, etc. and you'll find them.

eeek

I get enough of that inworld and here on the forum.

[Love Zhaoying]

2 minutes ago, Luna Bliss said:

eeek

I get enough of that inworld and here on the forum.

NO! YOU MUST READ ALL THE TOXIC THINGS!!1!!!

 

[Ayashe Ninetails]

6 minutes ago, Luna Bliss said:

eeek

I get enough of that inworld and here on the forum.

I'm sure they carry in-world, too. It's pretty bad. It's one of the downsides to user-generated content - at least for me. So much fightin' over this and that.

[Caeruleiae]

I have never called anyone directly a fangirl/fanboy. Just because I'm the only one with enough balls to admit I've used the term on the forums doesn't open my inbox up for SJW and other nutjobs to continue acting like the forum savior. It's grown tiresome. I'm usually very good at ignoring *****ty behavior but I've had about enough. 

I used the term-broadly-without directing it to a specific person-because it is a broad term and was very applicable where I placed it. I used it in a thread discussing things that ll can do better-because some people can't see past all the things they love to see where improvements are needed. Those same people were-and likely still would be if threads didn't get locked-attacking anyone with anything at all negative to say with underhanded and not so underhanded comments. Some of the more particularly nasty ones were removed-thank goodness. While I am glad the posts were removed swiftly-I wish more had seen them before they were because it might explain the context a bit better. 

I had the dumb idea to try and explain why and when I would use the term-it's not helping any I see-so I too see no point in asking if no one wants to know the real answer  to the question. It just opens others up to be treated poorly and that's stupid. I would like to kindly ask that the-aforementioned nutjobs-pick some other box to annoy for a while. I'lll refrain form participating on the forums if you do-so we both win! 

[Persephone Emerald]

35 minutes ago, Luna Bliss said:

lol I was thinking along the same line...

I've noticed over the years that usually those who are extremely vocal about trashing SL seem to spend nearly all their waking hours inworld.   So yeah, you have to ask, if you hate it so much why u here so much?

On the other hand, maybe they just need something to hate.

Maybe they're hating themselves for spending so much time in SL or on the Forums? Projection is a real thing.

[Ingrid Ingersoll]

17 minutes ago, Caeruleiae said:

Those same people were-and likely still would be if threads didn't get locked-attacking anyone with anything at all negative to say with underhanded and not so underhanded comments. Some of the more particularly nasty ones were removed-thank goodness.

I'm sorry this happened to you, a smiliar thing happened to me. Ideally there's a balance between being a fan of something and losing perspective to the point where you're attacking people if they have anything negative to say about the thing you're a fan of. 

Edited July 13, 2023 by Ingrid Ingersoll
grammar

[Arielle Popstar]

14 minutes ago, Caeruleiae said:

I have never called anyone directly a fangirl/fanboy. Just because I'm the only one with enough balls to admit I've used the term on the forums doesn't open my inbox up for SJW and other nutjobs to continue acting like the forum savior. It's grown tiresome. I'm usually very good at ignoring *****ty behavior but I've had about enough.

Thinking some of them might have me in mind as there were a couple times with a couple posters I used the terms fanboy and shill in reference to them. I was just sitting back and enjoying the thread before I responded.

[Scylla Rhiadra]

27 minutes ago, Caeruleiae said:

Just because I'm the only one with enough balls to admit I've used the term on the forums doesn't open my inbox up for SJW and other nutjobs to continue acting like the forum savior.

lolwhut?

[Luna Bliss]

27 minutes ago, Caeruleiae said:

SJW and other nutjobs

You are fairly new here so I thought I better explain that we aren't allowed to discuss politics on the forum anymore. Name-calling (SJW & nutjobs) is also not allowed. I hope you don't get in trouble for it.

[Luna Bliss]

31 minutes ago, Ingrid Ingersoll said:

I'm sorry this happened to you, a smiliar thing happened to me. Ideally there's a balance between being a fan of something and losing perspective to the point where you're attacking people if they have anything negative to say about the thing you're a fan of. 

If you're referring to what I think you are (it was long ago and far away),  I watched in horror as I saw people begin to "eat their own". The incident actually caused me to realize 'my side' was not so holy anymore, and I turned somewhat away from it.

Black and white thinking seems to rule the day, these days.

Edited July 13, 2023 by Luna Bliss

[Ardy Lay]

It is safe to promote what you like without saying anything at all about what you don't like.  Comparisons need not be made.  If a person feels that it is impossible to say something is good without also saying something else is bad, then they are imposing an artificial limit on themselves.  This artificial limit is behavior learned from exposure to manipulative people and can be discarded with conscious effort.  Failure to discard this negativity starts fights.  Avoid superlative adjectives when shouting your praise because those explicitly compare what you are praising with all else.  If this post makes you think "Yeah, duh!" then carry on, however, if this post makes you angry, then perhaps you are in the target audience, and you will now consider me your enemy.

[Love Zhaoying]

34 minutes ago, Ardy Lay said:

It is safe to promote what you like without saying anything at all about what you don't like.  Comparisons need not be made.  If a person feels that it is impossible to say something is good without also saying something else is bad, then they are imposing an artificial limit on themselves.  This artificial limit is behavior learned from exposure to manipulative people and can be discarded with conscious effort.  Failure to discard this negativity starts fights.  Avoid superlative adjectives when shouting your praise because those explicitly compare what you are praising with all else.  If this post makes you think "Yeah, duh!" then carry on, however, if this post makes you angry, then perhaps you are in the target audience, and you will now consider me your enemy.

Good job!

May I please add:  If praising something you like, means criticizing others, then perhaps you are adding to the problem.

Edited July 13, 2023 by Love Zhaoying

[Caeruleiae]

2 hours ago, Scylla Rhiadra said:

lolwhut?

Sorry, let me be a little more clear. I posted why I used the term-and in return I got a whole lot of messages from people who feel some need to constantly take conversations from the forums elsewhere and in doing so are not even remotely of sound mind-nor are they welcome in any of my inboxes. Most of them come with constant reminders about the fact that I'm new. I am-as I've only been here a bit over 3 years now-but it's long gotten old and I'm rather not fond of it.

You can laugh all you want if it's funny-and I understand it might be to some-but I don't personally believe it is. I was trying to explain why I used the word-which may not be anywhere near the same reason others might use it. If someone found my use of the word offensive-it would be a lot easier for them to ask what I meant by it or even ask me directly and not constantly make snarky remarks and underhanded comments about me being new-not understanding things-or any other number of things they seem compelled to school me on.

I really enjoy the forums and I really enjoy sl-but I'm unhappy about the fact that some people are perfectly fine making the forums AND sl very uncomfortable for me-and that I'm apparently not allowed to be angry about that. I'm not new to the internet-lol-and I'm quite aware that some people just suck. I was hoping someone would get the hint and stop messaging me-while also trying to take the time to explain my use of the word further. Both backfired.