superpeeve Oh my Gawd! - Totally unOfficial Pet Peeve Thread.

[Orwar]

21 minutes ago, Ayashe Ninetails said:

Peeve: Why do the goriest games have to have the cutest characters?! It's not faaaaaaaaaaair.

   "Goriest"? D'aw! 

[Rowan Amore]

5 hours ago, Scylla Rhiadra said:

the "opportunity" . . .

🙄

 

To answer more fully, I guess -- my point is that you surely have to be a special kind of stupid to believe that a grown-ass woman is going to find that kind of behaviour appealing. I mean seriously, I'd have thought that a serious turn-off when *I* was 14.

Yeah, I get that some people are just immature. But surely it should be evident to anyone who's attempted to approach even one woman that this just isn't going to do the trick. It's not going to work. It's spectacularly not going to work, in most cases.

How many times do you have to see an eye-roll before you get it?

An old friend of mine had this in his profile...Always liked it...

I'm older, I was raised in a different time.  Things like standing around in pajamas or being an effing troll and lolling at yourself as you fart around in SL only makes me want to slap you and tell you to be a Man.  It saddens me when I see 20 and 30 something men acting like boys on the internet.  Grow the eff up.  Your passive aggressive cuddly wuggles, brony bull***** is kind of sad, have some self respect, son.

[Scylla Rhiadra]

5 hours ago, Sid Nagy said:

Immaturity isn't an exclusive male state of mind.

Oh, we could do a whole other thread on middle aged "Mean Girls" in SL, and on woman-sponsored "Dramaz."

There are seriously times when it feels like I'm back in the lunchroom at high school again.

There is absolutely no shortage of immature women here -- but it manifests itself very differently, I think, for the usual reasons: social conditioning and expectations.

It's arguable that the immature behaviour of some women in SL is more actually destructive than that of men (although men can be pretty good at being destructive too), just as I've always suspected that the adolescent bullying behaviour of teenage girls, which was (in my day, anyway) more psychological than physical, was quantifiably more cruel than what boys inflicted on each other.

I think most women in SL have experienced versions of that at one time or another.

[Arielle Popstar]

15 minutes ago, Rowan Amore said:

An old friend of mine had this in his profile...Always liked it...

I'm older, I was raised in a different time.  Things like standing around in pajamas or being an effing troll and lolling at yourself as you fart around in SL only makes me want to slap you and tell you to be a Man.  It saddens me when I see 20 and 30 something men acting like boys on the internet.  Grow the eff up.  Your passive aggressive cuddly wuggles, brony bull***** is kind of sad, have some self respect, son.

I would see such a profile as that of someone wanting to be another's daddy

[Ayashe Ninetails]

I gotta admit - I find women to be far, faaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaar worse on this front both online and off (but especially in SL!).

My closest friends in-world are often quite vile. It's amusing here and there, but wow. WOW. They could make statues blush. One I've known for over 16 years and she still manages to shock me at times, and I've seen a LOT in life. 😂

Also, I lived in an apartment with 6 other women once (all of us mid-20s at the time). Do NOT recommend. The immaturity was immense. When I eventually moved out and into a place with two men (same age group), it was heavenly. So peaceful. So clean. Personal space and boundaries respected. They actually cleaned things on their own and didn't purposefully throw each others' cooking into the trash just to start an argument! And so few XXX jokes.🤣

[Arielle Popstar]

9 minutes ago, Scylla Rhiadra said:

Oh, we could do a whole other thread on middle aged "Mean Girls" in SL, and on woman-sponsored "Dramaz."

There are seriously times when it feels like I'm back in the lunchroom at high school again.

There is absolutely no shortage of immature women here -- but it manifests itself very differently, I think, for the usual reasons: social conditioning and expectations.

It's arguable that the immature behaviour of some women in SL is more actually destructive than that of men (although men can be pretty good at being destructive too), just as I've always suspected that the adolescent bullying behaviour of teenage girls, which was (in my day, anyway) more psychological than physical, was quantifiably more cruel than what boys inflicted on each other.

I think most women in SL have experienced versions of that at one time or another.

If I was to have a pet peeve here it would be that the supposedly mature people do not understand the implications of why people stop growing up rather than assuming and expecting that everyone will in  proportion to their physical age.

People often stop maturing because they take on something like (alcohol, drugs, lifestyle addictions, etc) where when the challenges of adulthood came up, the person instead decided to run away from the problem and chose their addiction to help cope instead. 

I had to face this myself when at the age of 35 I had to give up some lifestyle addictions and came to realize my 15 year old daughter was more emotionally mature in handling social interactions then I was myself. I had the house, the cars, the businesses but that does not mean I was not socially inept or emotionally immature. I started escaping the challenges of life when I was 12 and as such had the emotional maturity of a 12 year. After years of recovery work I am almost 21 emotionally!

It is one thing to know intellectually how one should act but quite another to actually consistently act on that knowledge. That only comes with identifying those areas that need work and then with support, practice them.

[Ted McGregor]

1 hour ago, Silent Mistwalker said:

This is one space you should have left intentionally blank.

Feeling guilty ? Who's leg you been humping ?

[Scylla Rhiadra]

22 minutes ago, Arielle Popstar said:

If I was to have a pet peeve here it would be that the supposedly mature people do not understand the implications of why people stop growing up rather than assuming and expecting that everyone will in  proportion to their physical age.

People often stop maturing because they take on something like (alcohol, drugs, lifestyle addictions, etc) where when the challenges of adulthood came up, the person instead decided to run away from the problem and chose their addiction to help cope instead. 

I had to face this myself when at the age of 35 I had to give up some lifestyle addictions and came to realize my 15 year old daughter was more emotionally mature in handling social interactions then I was myself. I had the house, the cars, the businesses but that does not mean I was not socially inept or emotionally immature. I started escaping the challenges of life when I was 12 and as such had the emotional maturity of a 12 year. After years of recovery work I am almost 21 emotionally!

It is one thing to know intellectually how one should act but quite another to actually consistently act on that knowledge. That only comes with identifying those areas that need work and then with support, practice them.

Everyone is the way that they are for "reasons." Dig deep enough, and you'll always find causes for why people behave the way they do -- upbringing, past experience, lack of empathy or emotional intelligence, etc. As someone or another (Voltaire?) is reputed to have said once upon a time, "To know all is to forgive all." It's an important reason why our carceral system has generally evolved from one focused upon "punishment," towards one that seeks to produce "rehabilitation."

Which is all good and important, but, unless you believe (as some indeed do) that "free will" is an illusion (in which case, "freedom" itself is meaningless), there comes a point at which one has to be held at least somewhat accountable for one's actions. I am full of nasty, anti-social impulses: given free reign, I'd be shoplifting, kicking or slapping people, sleeping around, etc. etc. etc. I acknowledge the existence of these impulses -- and I choose to oppose them. And yes, I'm likely better equipped to do so, for any number of really complex reasons that might include genetics, upbringing, and privilege, than some.

Understanding that there are reasons for certain kinds of behaviours should mitigate our responses to them, but it doesn't make those behaviours any less toxic or destructive.

So, sure. People are immature for all sorts of reasons.

So . . . what next, then? What do we do about that? Tolerate them because there are underlying "reasons"?

[Love Zhaoying]

1 hour ago, Rowan Amore said:

 Grow the eff up.  Your passive aggressive cuddly wuggles, brony bull***** is kind of sad, have some self respect, son.

Are bronies still a thing?

 

[Orwar]

13 minutes ago, Scylla Rhiadra said:

As someone or another (Voltaire?) is reputed to have said once upon a time, "To know all is to forgive all."

   To understand all, and it was Evelyn Waugh.

   I disagree with the notion, though. Forgiveness is a possible response to remorse, not acceptance of justification. There's no virtue in perpetuating bad behaviour through complying with it to appear principled. If someone rides a bike on the pavement, it doesn't matter if it's out of ignorance brought about from bad parenting and/or not attending or paying attention in school, or defiance of traffic law; the correct and morally courageous thing to do is to pull them over and inform them of their wrongdoing so that they have a chance to correct their behaviour.

   Creeps in SL are no different. 

[Scylla Rhiadra]

10 minutes ago, Orwar said:

To understand all, and it was Evelyn Waugh.

Thanks! I was too lazy to look it up.

Pretty rich coming from a judgemental POS and arch-satirist like Waugh, but I note that it's from Brideshead Revisited, a particularly and obnoxiously pious novel, and spoken moreover by an intoxicated university student seeking to justify his drunken antics and that of his friends.

10 minutes ago, Orwar said:

the correct and morally courageous thing to do is to pull them over and inform them of their wrongdoing so that they have a chance to correct their behaviour.

Agreed.

 

ETA: I think this is what I must have been remembering, from Voltaire's Dictionnaire Philosophique:

"What is tolerance? It is the endowment of humanity. We are all steeped in weakness and error; let us forgive each other our stupidities, that is the first law of nature."

Edited August 13, 2023 by Scylla Rhiadra

[Silent Mistwalker]

49 minutes ago, Ted McGregor said:

Feeling guilty ? Who's leg you been humping ?

I have nothing to feel guilty about and I'm still female. 

You might want to read your own signature.

 

Edited August 13, 2023 by Silent Mistwalker

[Rowan Amore]

15 minutes ago, Love Zhaoying said:

Are bronies still a thing?

 

Like I said, it's an old friend.  He's had that in his profile forever!  😁

[Love Zhaoying]

Peeve: when my Pride-Fathers were cubs, apparently boys would dip girl's pigtails in inkwells for attention. Now, they do things. Unspeakable things.

[Silent Mistwalker]

18 minutes ago, Orwar said:

   To understand all, and it was Evelyn Waugh.

   I disagree with the notion, though. Forgiveness is a possible response to remorse, not acceptance of justification. There's no virtue in perpetuating bad behaviour through complying with it to appear principled. If someone rides a bike on the pavement, it doesn't matter if it's out of ignorance brought about from bad parenting and/or not attending or paying attention in school, or defiance of traffic law; the correct and morally courageous thing to do is to pull them over and inform them of their wrongdoing so that they have a chance to correct their behaviour.

   Creeps in SL are no different. 

Just making sure I'm visualizing this correctly. When you say pavement, you mean sidewalk don't you? I'm asking because here you aren't supposed to ride a bicycle on the sidewalk, only on the pavement of the street/road and only in the bike lane if there is one.

If not sidewalk, then easement maybe? 🤔

[Orwar]

9 minutes ago, Silent Mistwalker said:

Just making sure I'm visualizing this correctly. When you say pavement, you mean sidewalk don't you?

   Yes, in British English, what the Americans call 'sidewalk', is pavement. 

[Persephone Emerald]

2 hours ago, Rowan Amore said:

An old friend of mine had this in his profile...Always liked it...

I'm older, I was raised in a different time.  Things like standing around in pajamas or being an effing troll and lolling at yourself as you fart around in SL only makes me want to slap you and tell you to be a Man.  It saddens me when I see 20 and 30 something men acting like boys on the internet.  Grow the eff up.  Your passive aggressive cuddly wuggles, brony bull***** is kind of sad, have some self respect, son.

It may be that many men (and possibly women too) get tired of having to be respectable, responsible and mature most of the time, so they enjoy acting immature on an anonymous platform such as Second Life.

1 hour ago, Arielle Popstar said:

If I was to have a pet peeve here it would be that the supposedly mature people do not understand the implications of why people stop growing up rather than assuming and expecting that everyone will in  proportion to their physical age.

People often stop maturing because they take on something like (alcohol, drugs, lifestyle addictions, etc) where when the challenges of adulthood came up, the person instead decided to run away from the problem and chose their addiction to help cope instead. 

I had to face this myself when at the age of 35 I had to give up some lifestyle addictions and came to realize my 15 year old daughter was more emotionally mature in handling social interactions then I was myself. I had the house, the cars, the businesses but that does not mean I was not socially inept or emotionally immature. I started escaping the challenges of life when I was 12 and as such had the emotional maturity of a 12 year. After years of recovery work I am almost 21 emotionally!

It is one thing to know intellectually how one should act but quite another to actually consistently act on that knowledge. That only comes with identifying those areas that need work and then with support, practice them.

Thank you so much, Arielle, for posting this. It makes so much sense that some people would be stuck in an adolescent mindset because they've been stuck in a traumatized mindset. It's not that different from how we can revert to behaviors we had as kids when we feel stressed or emotionally triggered. 

[Love Zhaoying]

13 minutes ago, Orwar said:

   Yes, in British English, what the Americans call 'sidewalk', is pavement. 

What kind of rich countries have people riding bikes on sidewalks/pavement, or even have paved roads in the first place?!  #FirstWorldProblems 

Peeve!

[LittleMe Jewell]

The immature female action that irks me to no end is the "/me giggles".  

Really?!?  How many adult women do you know that "giggles" instead of actually laughing?

 

[Love Zhaoying]

3 minutes ago, LittleMe Jewell said:

The immature female action that irks me to no end is the "/me giggles".  

Really?!?  How many adult women do you know that "giggles" instead of actually laughing?

 

We had a poster here, who'd (apparently randomly) giggle, *sniff*, etc. I never did find out if the "sniffing" was due to allergies, or a way to emote being uppity. It bugged me because my Pride-Mother "sniffed" all.the.time. Guess it's on me.

Peeve: "It's not you. Really. It's me."

[Silent Mistwalker]

20 minutes ago, Orwar said:

   Yes, in British English, what the Americans call 'sidewalk', is pavement. 

Well yes technically speaking it is all pavement. But how do you distinguish the area designated for pedestrians if you don't have a different name for it? People walk on pavement; cars drive on pavement. Which pavement is which? Hence my confusion. 😋🤭

[Rowan Amore]

6 minutes ago, LittleMe Jewell said:

 

Really?!?  How many adult women do you know that "giggles" instead of actually laughing?

 

Only if I'm naked and being tickled.  TMI??

 

[Silent Mistwalker]

7 minutes ago, LittleMe Jewell said:

The immature female action that irks me to no end is the "/me giggles".  

Really?!?  How many adult women do you know that "giggles" instead of actually laughing?

 

*raises left hand

I suppose you could call it more of a titter than a giggle.

[Scylla Rhiadra]

34 minutes ago, LittleMe Jewell said:

The immature female action that irks me to no end is the "/me giggles".  

Really?!?  How many adult women do you know that "giggles" instead of actually laughing?

 

My "laugh" reaction is an actual laugh, and NOT a giggle. I swear.

[Ayashe Ninetails]

25 minutes ago, LittleMe Jewell said:

The immature female action that irks me to no end is the "/me giggles".  

Really?!?  How many adult women do you know that "giggles" instead of actually laughing?

I giggle in RL. A lot. I also gigglesnort.

Seeing others type it out (or typing it out myself) is far less obnoxious than the whole *"hey guys look, my mesh bits can do tricks, zoom in!" thing some friends do.

Nah girl, I'm good. Happy for you, tho.