PheebyKatz Posted June 13 Share Posted June 13 (edited) 7 minutes ago, Scylla Rhiadra said: Is this just the result of an unshakeable element of misogyny? Have they been Rip Van Winkling for the past 60 years? Are they just stupid? I think they just never learned any better, and they lack experience in such things. It might explain their enthusiasm, and the whole n00b vibe. They're novices (or at least very amateurish) at getting dates. It's probably extremely exciting, that whole feeling of "wow, she replied to me, I almost got somewhere with someone this time!" Conversely, I can see those who welcome the attention being a bit of a turn-off. Firstly, they're posing no challenge, so no feeling of making actual advances in skill at pickin' up chicks, plus it makes them the prey, so to speak, and they realize it was a trap, lol. There's no thrill of the chase when they were waiting for you with a net. Edited June 13 by PheebyKatz 3 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Scylla Rhiadra Posted June 13 Share Posted June 13 Just now, PheebyKatz said: They're novices (or at least very amateurish) at getting dates. This is an interesting thought, and a real possibility in some of these cases. 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Arielle Popstar Posted June 13 Share Posted June 13 5 minutes ago, Scylla Rhiadra said: Is this just the result of an unshakeable element of misogyny? Have they been Rip Van Winkling for the past 60 years? Are they just stupid? What if the person had been female, would you feel differently? 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
PheebyKatz Posted June 13 Share Posted June 13 (edited) 11 minutes ago, Scylla Rhiadra said: This is an interesting thought, and a real possibility in some of these cases. They need cunning women to take them in hand, so to speak, and teach them how to be good boys. That's how it traditionally has worked throughout history. I'm just not the one. And yes, this is from a hetero perspective. Feel free to change things to suit your own reality, people. I know and acknowledge that this phenomenon isn't gender-or-orientation specific. Long ago, on an account far, far away, I was that annoying lesbian who sent unwanted IMs, and probably came off as creepy without even seeing it myself. Edited June 13 by PheebyKatz 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Scylla Rhiadra Posted June 13 Share Posted June 13 Just now, Arielle Popstar said: What if the person had been female, would you feel differently? That's actually an interesting question, Arielle. I'll answer you honestly. I think the answer is that, yes, I would have felt differently, but not necessarily more positively about it had it been a woman. I am socialized to think of men in particular contexts as representing a kind of potential threat. I think most women are, to greater or lesser degrees: speaking as an urbanite, for instance, I feel a great deal more uncomfortable if a man is approaching me on a dark street late at night, or in a lonely parking lot, or whatever, than I would if a woman was doing so. So, I'll concede that some of my reaction is probably born of that kind of RL conditioning, which isn't necessarily entirely relevant to a virtual context. But I also have to say that, while I am hit on my women not infrequently (there are a lot of lesbians in some of my social circles, and at events I attend), I have never been approached in this kind of way by one of them. They are invariably more tentative, subtle, and careful. I am sure that there are exceptions out there, but almost all of the idiots who've hit on me have been men. 2 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ayashe Ninetails Posted June 13 Share Posted June 13 13 minutes ago, Scylla Rhiadra said: He knew I had the expectation of privacy, and he was quite happy to violate that. You should put together an emergency outfit/avatar. If someone is indeed camming in, he'll change his tune real quick if you suddenly rock a monster or meerkat or Aesthetic-wearing beach bum. Here, get something like this. It's too cute, lol: Peeve: I have so many looks I could hide in, it'd take me way too long to scroll through Outfits and actually make the swap. Though, I just keep my parcel privacy on anyway. 8 minutes ago, Scylla Rhiadra said: Which, to follow your line of thinking, is why, like you, I don't get this approach to mating, courtship, hookups, or whatever. Yep, exactly. Reminds me of the kind of weird stuff you'd see back in the days of POF and OKCupid online dating. Ugh. Just why? We're still doing this when "Hey, cool avatar/profile/outfit/kitten sitting on your head!" gets a guy sooooo much further? Rly? 1 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
PheebyKatz Posted June 13 Share Posted June 13 (edited) Ayashe makes a great point. Any time I "feel the camera" on me, and it's uncomfortable, I put on my Yithian avatar. If they poof within 3 seconds, I know they were creeping on me, lol. I also have my "CAMMERS EVERYWHERE" sign, that does the same thing. Even if they're already sending IMs, they dislike when you make an outward display that others can see. They're seldom out for attention from anyone but the person they're bothering. Edited June 13 by PheebyKatz 4 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Love Zhaoying Posted June 13 Share Posted June 13 2 minutes ago, PheebyKatz said: Ayashe makes a great point. Any time I "feel the camera" on me, and it's uncomfortable, I put on my Yithian avatar. If they poof within 3 seconds, I know they were creeping on me, lol. I also have my "CAMMERS EVERYWHERE" sign, that does the same thing. Even if they're already sending IMs, they dislike when you make an outward display that others can see. Several people have also asked in posts lately about sounds that play for the cammer when they cam close...could play screaming or awful music.. 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Arielle Popstar Posted June 13 Share Posted June 13 19 minutes ago, Scylla Rhiadra said: I am socialized to think of men in particular contexts as representing a kind of potential threat. I think most women are, to greater or lesser degrees: speaking as an urbanite, for instance, I feel a great deal more uncomfortable if a man is approaching me on a dark street late at night, or in a lonely parking lot, or whatever, than I would if a woman was doing so. The reality is that a woman is probably more dangerous in that situation being that she is likely afraid, unpredictable, likely carrying mace or pepper spray if not a gun for those in the US. Studies do show women have a higher tendency to be the aggressor though the males are more apt to be the final winner if something does occur. 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
PheebyKatz Posted June 13 Share Posted June 13 (edited) 20 minutes ago, Love Zhaoying said: Several people have also asked in posts lately about sounds that play for the cammer when they cam close...could play screaming or awful music.. I'd think that hurting their ears might be frowned upon, or at least give them an angle for hitting back at someone. I did have underwear for a while that I scripted to tattle on people in local chat if they clicked it, scolding them for being a dirty pervert. But if they were 1000 meters away they wouldn't see it anyhow. It made more than one person disappear from a dance floor before, though. Maybe they thought it was my chimera. Oops, my bad. Glad I don't have to worry about people trying to undress my dolly anymore. They don't want to see my built-in underwear, it's all ugly anyway. Edited June 13 by PheebyKatz 1 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Scylla Rhiadra Posted June 13 Share Posted June 13 6 minutes ago, Arielle Popstar said: The reality is that a woman is probably more dangerous in that situation being that she is likely afraid, unpredictable, likely carrying mace or pepper spray if not a gun for those in the US. Studies do show women have a higher tendency to be the aggressor though the males are more apt to be the final winner if something does occur. Possibly, although I doubt it. But it is true that women are much more likely to be assaulted, sexually or otherwise, by men they know, at home or in the workplace, than in dark parking lots. I said that the perception that men might in some contexts pose a potential threat was a result of socialization, rather than a statistically-verifiable logical response to real dangers. That said, young women have learned not to leave their drinks unattended at bars and parties. And there are good reasons for that kind of precaution. 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Scylla Rhiadra Posted June 13 Share Posted June 13 33 minutes ago, Ayashe Ninetails said: You should put together an emergency outfit/avatar. At one time, I did start assembling a Medusa outfit . . . 🙃 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
PheebyKatz Posted June 13 Share Posted June 13 1 minute ago, Scylla Rhiadra said: At one time, I did start assembling a Medusa outfit . . . 🙃 That might backfire, if they know their classics and have a sense of entendre. 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Love Zhaoying Posted June 13 Share Posted June 13 12 minutes ago, PheebyKatz said: 28 minutes ago, Love Zhaoying said: Several people have also asked in posts lately about sounds that play for the cammer when they cam close...could play screaming or awful music.. I'd think that hurting their ears might be frowned upon, or at least give them an angle for hitting back at someone. I think the point I was making, is to play something that lets them know (or think) that YOU know they are cammimg you. 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
PheebyKatz Posted June 13 Share Posted June 13 4 minutes ago, Love Zhaoying said: I think the point I was making, is to play something that lets them know (or think) that YOU know they are cammimg you. When I finish my Scud missile, it will be able to target specific avatars. I also plan to make a version that can pass through obstacles to hit an avatar. Hopefully that will help. 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Scylla Rhiadra Posted June 13 Share Posted June 13 39 minutes ago, PheebyKatz said: They need cunning women to take them in hand, so to speak, and teach them how to be good boys. That's how it traditionally has worked throughout history. Ok, just to address this quickly, because I understand and have some sympathy with this way of thinking . . . PEEVE: The illusion that one can "change" someone through gentle guidance and nurturing . . . I had a friend some 5 or 6 years ago whom I quite liked. He was smart, quite funny and witty, and all the more interesting to talk to because he differed from me on a number of political and social issues. I enjoyed our conversations a great deal. And then he started being, shall we say, "overly intimate." He took to slapping me on the butt regularly, a habit that I was able to cure him of after a few minor explosions at him, but he started to hit on me in other increasingly direct and sometimes crude ways. This developed as a part of our relationship over the course of some months. Because I had succeeded in getting him to stop slapping my ass, I had some confidence that I could "cure" him of his increasingly insistent come-ons. I valued his intelligence and conversation enough that I thought it was worthwhile trying. Boy, was I wrong. He just got worse and worse (and again, this was over the course of several months, and not a one-off thing), and began to narrate in really vivid detail his fantasies of "taking me" in various "interesting" ways on his parent's bed. (Yeah, some serious Oedipal issues there.) At last, reluctantly, I acknowledged that he wasn't responding to my attempts to shut down his advances, so I blocked him, and moved on. Maybe there are men who can be "educated" in this way? But I haven't met one yet. 4 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Luna Bliss Posted June 13 Share Posted June 13 20 minutes ago, Arielle Popstar said: 44 minutes ago, Scylla Rhiadra said: I am socialized to think of men in particular contexts as representing a kind of potential threat. I think most women are, to greater or lesser degrees: speaking as an urbanite, for instance, I feel a great deal more uncomfortable if a man is approaching me on a dark street late at night, or in a lonely parking lot, or whatever, than I would if a woman was doing so. The reality is that a woman is probably more dangerous in that situation being that she is likely afraid, unpredictable, likely carrying mace or pepper spray if not a gun for those in the US. Studies do show women have a higher tendency to be the aggressor though the males are more apt to be the final winner if something does occur. Most women, when walking down a street, or to and from work, are not carrying weapons. Women have a very slight tendency to be the initial aggressor (it's very slight) in DOMESTIC situations. We're not talking about domestic situations though -- we're talking about stranger danger. 3 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ayashe Ninetails Posted June 13 Share Posted June 13 1 minute ago, Scylla Rhiadra said: At one time, I did start assembling a Medusa outfit . . . 🙃 Nah, that wouldn't work. I say this as someone who desperately wants a Medusa head (with animated snakes!). You need something less...uhhh...you need something way creepier. Or go the other direction into adorable animal cuteness. Lemme just put it this way - standards can get reaaaaaal low, nomsayin'? Get that skull face on or ditch the female body entirely. 😂 1 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Madelaine McMasters Posted June 14 Share Posted June 14 6 minutes ago, Ayashe Ninetails said: I say this as someone who desperately wants a Medusa head (with animated snakes!). I want the version of Celia's hair that appears at 1:08. 5 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ceka Cianci Posted June 14 Share Posted June 14 27 minutes ago, Scylla Rhiadra said: At one time, I did start assembling a Medusa outfit . . . 🙃 I remember this one time years ago. like before mesh came to the grid.. This one griefer made me mad.. So I hit'em.. Really hard too. hehehe 3 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Arielle Popstar Posted June 14 Share Posted June 14 26 minutes ago, Scylla Rhiadra said: Maybe there are men who can be "educated" in this way? But I haven't met one yet. Maybe for some the payoff is in the trying even knowing full well it won't work. It is good for a dopamine hit! 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Bagnu Posted June 14 Share Posted June 14 28 minutes ago, Scylla Rhiadra said: Ok, just to address this quickly, because I understand and have some sympathy with this way of thinking . . . PEEVE: The illusion that one can "change" someone through gentle guidance and nurturing . . . I had a friend some 5 or 6 years ago whom I quite liked. He was smart, quite funny and witty, and all the more interesting to talk to because he differed from me on a number of political and social issues. I enjoyed our conversations a great deal. And then he started being, shall we say, "overly intimate." He took to slapping me on the butt regularly, a habit that I was able to cure him of after a few minor explosions at him, but he started to hit on me in other increasingly direct and sometimes crude ways. This developed as a part of our relationship over the course of some months. Because I had succeeded in getting him to stop slapping my ass, I had some confidence that I could "cure" him of his increasingly insistent come-ons. I valued his intelligence and conversation enough that I thought it was worthwhile trying. Boy, was I wrong. He just got worse and worse (and again, this was over the course of several months, and not a one-off thing), and began to narrate in really vivid detail his fantasies of "taking me" in various "interesting" ways on his parent's bed. (Yeah, some serious Oedipal issues there.) At last, reluctantly, I acknowledged that he wasn't responding to my attempts to shut down his advances, so I blocked him, and moved on. Maybe there are men who can be "educated" in this way? But I haven't met one yet. I don't know any woman , or man for that matter, who would like to be slapped on the ass the way you describe (unless it's in RP). And this clearly was NOT about RP!!! Good move on your part for blocking him. 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Love Zhaoying Posted June 14 Share Posted June 14 37 minutes ago, Scylla Rhiadra said: Ok, just to address this quickly, because I understand and have some sympathy with this way of thinking . . . PEEVE: The illusion that one can "change" someone through gentle guidance and nurturing . . . I had a friend some 5 or 6 years ago whom I quite liked. He was smart, quite funny and witty, and all the more interesting to talk to because he differed from me on a number of political and social issues. I enjoyed our conversations a great deal. And then he started being, shall we say, "overly intimate." He took to slapping me on the butt regularly, a habit that I was able to cure him of after a few minor explosions at him, but he started to hit on me in other increasingly direct and sometimes crude ways. This developed as a part of our relationship over the course of some months. Because I had succeeded in getting him to stop slapping my ass, I had some confidence that I could "cure" him of his increasingly insistent come-ons. I valued his intelligence and conversation enough that I thought it was worthwhile trying. Boy, was I wrong. He just got worse and worse (and again, this was over the course of several months, and not a one-off thing), and began to narrate in really vivid detail his fantasies of "taking me" in various "interesting" ways on his parent's bed. (Yeah, some serious Oedipal issues there.) At last, reluctantly, I acknowledged that he wasn't responding to my attempts to shut down his advances, so I blocked him, and moved on. Maybe there are men who can be "educated" in this way? But I haven't met one yet. Peeve: Having to belabor the obvious, but some people just assume they can wear you down.. 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Rowan Amore Posted June 14 Share Posted June 14 24 minutes ago, Madelaine McMasters said: I want the version of Celia's hair that appears at 1:08. https://marketplace.secondlife.com/p/WoO-Medusa-Gorgon-Hair-WHITE/16688996 1 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
PheebyKatz Posted June 14 Share Posted June 14 29 minutes ago, Love Zhaoying said: Peeve: Having to belabor the obvious, but some people just assume they can wear you down.. Yeah, education only works on the willing. Peeve: Education only works on the willing. 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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