LGBTQAI+ friends?

[Adrian Rowley]

It is sad to come back yo SL to find that the big Lesbian (I mean...you know...real lesbian) communities have vanished. Any places you can recommend for boi/ftm that is not a sex place? Also, I would like to make friends from the community in general...do you notice that the gay community is going invisible rl too??? sighs.

[Tripp Foxtail]

Not sure I noticed that, but I'm a TG male. SL Pride might be a good place to look for groups and contacts for all things LGBTQ+ 

Much of what's advertised in SL has to do with sex, BDSM, that kind of stuff. But there's a lot to explore in SL that is not advertised or based on sex and cheap thrills - those more low-key places and groups are the best in my opinion. Your mileage may vary.

[Mollymews]

7 hours ago, Adrian Rowley said:

do you notice that the gay community is going invisible rl too???

on this part

is mostly because in the RL liberal today, the community accept gay people as normal everyday people

in the illiberal past this wasn't always the case, so social safe spaces - bars, clubs, etc for gay people were established. Now today gay people socialise everywhere, same as non-gay people do

same RL, same SL

[Doris Johnsky]

On 4/16/2021 at 6:24 AM, Mollymews said:

on this part

is mostly because in the RL liberal today, the community accept gay people as normal everyday people

in the illiberal past this wasn't always the case, so social safe spaces - bars, clubs, etc for gay people were established. Now today gay people socialise everywhere, same as non-gay people do

same RL, same SL

"illiberal"    What the hell is that?   

Just to be clear I am a conservative, and I could give a rats ass if you're gay or not and many of my conservative friends are the same way.  Some of my best friends in RL and SL are gay.  Just don't care.  People are people.  That's all I care about.

[Madelaine McMasters]

On 4/15/2021 at 10:17 PM, Adrian Rowley said:

do you notice that the gay community is going invisible rl too??? sighs.

I'm with Molly on this. I've noticed the opposite. The LGBTQ community is more accepted than at any point in my lifetime. There's not so much reason for people to carve out safe spaces when they're increasingly welcome everywhere. Maybe you're not seeing them because they no longer stand out.

 

[Adrian Rowley]

26 minutes ago, Doris Johnsky said:

"illiberal"    What the hell is that?   

Just to be clear I am a conservative, and I could give a rats ass if you're gay or not and many of my conservative friends are the same way.  Some of my best friends in RL and SL are gay.  Just don't care.  People are people.  That's all I care about.

Two points:

Point one " Illiberal", yes, that word does not exist in the English language , nevertheless we are respectful or people who may not be native speakers or dyslexic etc...we don't know...

2- not seeing gender and sexual orientation as with race, is ignoring the differences and the struggles those communities go through..."not seeing a rat ass" means you do not care...and that's your right. 

Edited April 17, 2021 by Adrian Rowley

[Doris Johnsky]

I don't think you understand my rats ass comment.  I simply do not care what anyone's race, sexual orientation, level of wealth, place of birth, or religion is. You are what you are and I accept that 1000%.    Your interactions with me are what I judge. Nothing more.

This is especially true in SL where, unless you have moved to a RL relationship with an ava, anyone can be anything.  

[Adrian Rowley]

6 minutes ago, Doris Johnsky said:

I don't think you understand my rats ass comment.  I simply do not care what anyone's race, sexual orientation, level of wealth, place of birth, or religion is. You are what you are and I accept that 1000%.    Your interactions with me are what I judge. Nothing more.

This is especially true in SL where, unless you have moved to a RL relationship with an ava, anyone can be anything.  

I'm sure you are a good person and you mean well..but if you want to be an ally you have to care lol...accepting is okay...caring is better

Edited April 17, 2021 by Adrian Rowley

[Love Zhaoying]

19 minutes ago, Doris Johnsky said:

I don't think you understand my rats ass

@Rat Luvthey tawkin bout your bootay!

[Rat Luv]

32 minutes ago, Love Zhaoying said:

@Rat Luvthey tawkin bout your bootay!

[Rowan Amore]

2 hours ago, Adrian Rowley said:

I'm sure you are a good person and you mean well..but if you want to be an ally you have to care lol...accepting is okay...caring is better

It's not that we don't care, it just isn't an issue what anyone is to a lot of people.  I rarely give a thought to what anyone's sexual orientation is in SL or RL.  I don't need allies being black.  I just need people to accept me regardless of what color my skin is.

[Adrian Rowley]

26 minutes ago, Rowan Amore said:

It's not that we don't care, it just isn't an issue what anyone is to a lot of people.  I rarely give a thought to what anyone's sexual orientation is in SL or RL.  I don't need allies being black.  I just need people to accept me regardless of what color my skin is.

You don't have to. Like everything else in life, we choose our interests and pursuits. 

Edited April 18, 2021 by Adrian Rowley

[Love Zhaoying]

On 4/15/2021 at 11:17 PM, Adrian Rowley said:

big Lesbian (I mean...you know...real lesbian) communities have vanished

Did you try the small / fake communities? 

[Mollymews]

9 hours ago, Doris Johnsky said:

"illiberal"    What the hell is that?   

Just to be clear I am a conservative, and I could give a rats ass if you're gay or not and many of my conservative friends are the same way.  Some of my best friends in RL and SL are gay.  Just don't care.  People are people.  That's all I care about.

in this context illiberal means a society that allows the hassling of gay people without recrimination by the society

politically, social liberals (left of centre) and libertarians (right of centre) share the same general intersectional values (combined in one group they are classic liberals). Where they differ is on the role of government in society

for example the politically leftmost classic liberal sees a role for government in setting laws to outlaw the hassling of gay people for being gay.  The rightmost classic liberal sees that such a law is is not necessarily necessary, that when we act rationally as an individual then we won't hassle gay people for being gay because hassling other people for any reason is irrational behaviour

so in this context, on this particular matter you are a classic liberal, politically speaking

Edited April 18, 2021 by Mollymews
any reason

[Sprout Evergarden]

That acronym keeps getting longer and longer I can't keep up anymore.

[Doris Johnsky]

6 hours ago, Adrian Rowley said:

I'm sure you are a good person and you mean well..but if you want to be an ally you have to care lol...accepting is okay...caring is better

In this context  "care" means what you are isn't an issue with me. It doesn't matter to me what you are.  Because It's not a factor wither I like you or dislike you. 

Of course I CARE about my wife and all my friends.. 

 

[rushingaround]

I am not sure about  transmale areas.  There are still some lesbian places like Lesbian Teahouse and a few others that are lesbian only , but a lot of lesbian communities and areas  welcome transgender women (or MTF).  I am a transwoman in SL and as long as I behave myself and most times keep my stuff covered I am good.

[Adrian Rowley]

16 hours ago, Atosuria Daviau said:

That acronym keeps getting longer and longer I can't keep up anymore.

so true, Pronouns are multiplying too

[Janet Voxel]

I met a guy on here that happened to be gay and started helping him with his avatar. He didn’t need much help, but he immediately started seeking gay friendly sims.

I tried explaining to him SL doesn’t really work that way and just about anything he searches is going to be pickup places. He didn’t believe me and soon got frustrated. I tried to explain it’s more about what your interests are and to just find friends that way, because no one really cares about things like that. He ended up leaving. I’m sure he’ll be back at some point, but it really got me thinking. People talk about improving the new user experience, but I think community building and updating those tools is equally important and never really discussed.

The thing is SL is already LGBTQ friendly and from my experience it always has been. I think where LL dropped the ball is community building. Yes, there are groups but many  specific groups are inactive despite having hundreds of members. Group chat doesn’t work well. There are people that come here looking for a specific community... it’s here and not here, so they end up leaving.

So, sorry for that detour! I can only really give you the same advice I gave my friend. Try to focus on your interests and you will naturally meet the kind of people you are looking for.

[Sprout Evergarden]

1 hour ago, Janet Voxel said:

I tried explaining to him SL doesn’t really work that way and just about anything he searches is going to be pickup places. He didn’t believe me and soon got frustrated.

Sad thing is there's a modern mindset of people being so hung up in political identity the moment you strip that away they are completely lost and assume you or that environment is x-phobic the idea of people and places that do not care what they look like or which consenting adult they love scares them because they might have to be real people hand have real interests, for a change. 

[Ren Toxx]

On 4/18/2021 at 5:04 AM, Atosuria Daviau said:

That acronym keeps getting longer and longer I can't keep up anymore.

One of these days we’re gonna have to settle on E.V.E.R.Y.O.N.E. Might be easier to remember, if not type.

[Rowan Amore]

To be more inclusive, be less exclusive.

[Orwar]

1 hour ago, Ren Toxx said:

One of these days we’re gonna have to settle on E.V.E.R.Y.O.N.E. Might be easier to remember, if not type.

[Luna Bliss]

Whenever someone doesn't quite feel okay about who they are it can help to be around others like themselves to sort out issues or to simply feel at home and affirmed. Support groups, whether formal or more casual within a community of like-minded individuals, can help people come to terms with who they are.
While there's much more acceptance of gays & lesbians there's still a ways to go before society accepts transgendered individuals. In fact, the Republicans are in the process of getting more than 60 discriminatory laws enacted as we speak. It seems transgendered people are the new target for them to hate and rally their base around, much as they did in the early 2000's with gays.

It's true one can be so obsessed with their identity that it can become almost a religion, and other people and opportunities can then be missed out on via being too exclusionary. However, underneath such an 'identity addiction' you'll usually find a person that isn't accepting of themselves, albeit on sometimes a more unconscious level.

Anyway, I think it's great that people can find what's missing in RL here in SL when when they're using SL as more of a platform to connect with others. Some don't need support to cope with being a member of an oppressed group, but if someone does it's good to see SL as a positive venue for self-growth.

[Adrian Rowley]

3 hours ago, Atosuria Daviau said:

Sad thing is there's a modern mindset of people being so hung up in political identity the moment you strip that away they are completely lost and assume you or that environment is x-phobic the idea of people and places that do not care what they look like or which consenting adult they love scares them because they might have to be real people hand have real interests, for a change. 

Every time there is a republican president I am afraid I am going to lose the legitimacy of my family...so yeah...you feel lost.