AFK Away From Keyboard

[Selene Gregoire]

37 minutes ago, Lureo said:

I understand why I am not normal now.

Define normal.

[Janet Voxel]

2 hours ago, Lureo said:

I understand why I am not normal now.

It’s not that you’re not normal (but if you say so!). It’s more so, that you expect everybody to do SL the way you do, which is quite common.

When you think about it, everybody steps away from the computer for a moment for something. If you don’t you're very well disciplined or you have a catheter attached to you or something and are malnourished.

I’m kidding. You might want to re-examine your expectations though.

[Ren Toxx]

On 4/5/2019 at 4:41 PM, Lureo said:

I understand why I am not normal now. I mean as I read you. When I am on SL I am on and active. when I stop I log off and do other occupations. I understand why some people think I am weird or odd or awkawk (sorry I need to learn again all these words)

For short inactive periods it just isn’t practical to keep logging off & on. At any rate, and much as it might seem surprising to some, interaction isn’t a requirement to play SL; it’s part of the culture of SL that as long as it’s not something offensive and/or harmful to you (and it’s hard to argue that not getting an answer could be), it should’t be construed as objectionable either.

[LittleMe Jewell]

On 4/5/2019 at 8:41 AM, Lureo said:

I understand why I am not normal now. I mean as I read you. When I am on SL I am on and active. when I stop I log off and do other occupations. I understand why some people think I am weird or odd or awkawk (sorry I need to learn again all these words)

You just have to remember that not everyone is going to be interacting in SL the way that you do.  Everyone is here for a variety of reasons, so you just have to modify the expectation that everyone will do it the same as you on all fronts.

[Lureo]

I cannot change the expectation of others but I can change my expectation. If I come here just to make friends and to chat. I know that this is maybe not the right place because a minirity want that and are open to chat and making friend. But at last maybe a minority wants. So I am optimistic that I should try more. Because if maybe 10% are open and 90% stay closed to others, I should try 10 times instead of just one time.

 

Sorry for my logic.

[Fionalein]

2 hours ago, Lureo said:

If I come here just to make friends and to chat.

You might just visit the wrong places. If you try to chat to random people opn the street they will pretty much react like in real life. Try visiting some discussions or "make friends" regions. Makeing friends here works like in RL - they just happen or not - you cannot force it.

Edited April 8, 2019 by Fionalein

[AyelaNewLife]

4 hours ago, Lureo said:

I cannot change the expectation of others but I can change my expectation. If I come here just to make friends and to chat. I know that this is maybe not the right place because a minirity want that and are open to chat and making friend. But at last maybe a minority wants. So I am optimistic that I should try more. Because if maybe 10% are open and 90% stay closed to others, I should try 10 times instead of just one time.

 

Sorry for my logic.

I've gotta disagree with you here, and I think you've completely missed the point of what we are saying.

I'd say the overwhelming majority of people who are in SL are open to chatting and making friends. Almost all of us. But many of us do other things than just chat. It's not one or the other. Take my photography; sometimes I'll be chatting to several people while tweaking the poses or lighting, so I'm still able to chat, it's just that my replies might be slow. Or I might be taking the actual photo, with all my settings turned out, and so I'll be ignoring chat completely. And then I'm done with the photo, and then I can focus more of my attention on our conversation.

But you will never have my full and undivided attention. Chances are I'll have more than one conversation open at once. Or my phone could ring, or my flatmate could be putting the kettle on. Or I might need to change my music, or I could be reading an email, or a thousand other things that could mean I take a minute or three to reply to your message. Sometimes I'll want a sandwich, or there will be some other RL reason why I need to step away from the keyboard for 10-15 minutes. Despite all that, I'm still open to chatting and making friends.

If your expectation is that people respond to your messages instantly, you will forever be disappointed. Whether here, or elsewhere online, or out in the real world. People don't work like that, they don't spend their days sat at their keyboards waiting for you to message them. People have lives, they have distractions, and those distractions mean that replies can sometimes be slow. If that's a problem, talk to robots or pay someone to chat with you; or just learn a little patience.

[Lureo]

I understand something about SL these last day.  (I still have problems to understand SL and the culture behind)

I expect to meed available people. But most of them are busy in SL and / or in RL.   I am here to find someone to talk or friends.  I open my friendlist and see 2 or 3 'contacts' online. And I  Start 'hi'  That is my method.

 

But not all people are waiting like me waiting  that someone speak. I am really happy when someone say 'hi' to me and happy when the conversation continue with more than 3 sentences.

 

I am on SL first to talk second to have conversation then to have friend. I though that would be the start, the basic then to to other things. This is level 1.

But many people are at level 2, 3 4 or 1000

I am still at level one. That is the reason I don't understand people at level 3 or 4.

 

 

 

 

[Orwar]

On 4/22/2019 at 11:21 AM, Lureo said:

And I  Start 'hi'  That is my method.

   If someone wants to talk to me, and can't be bothered to write more than 'hi', I'm not going to bother responding at all.

   When I see a contact online whom I haven't spoken to in a while or whom I feel like conversing with, the bare minimum from me is 'Hello there, how are you doing?', which demands a slightly more intricate response than what mirroring a 'hi' does. A conversation so easily stagnates when all you get is 'hi', 'how are you' and 'what are you doing', that's a petty attempt of living up to the minimal expectation of social convention of politeness; greeting a person to find out whether they're available for a conversation is fine, but you can't expect it to lead anywhere unless you're ready to put more into it.

   Besides, your 'expectations' are just that - your expectations; nobody is here to conform to your requirements. If I feel that a person appears genuinely uninterested for a long period of time, I'll confront them about it which may lead to them coming off my contact list, but it may also turn out that they're going through something rough or stressful and that they are unable to muster the time or effort to converse. Occasionally, if it's somebody who I don't care all that much for or whose reason for being on my contact list has gone moot (friends of exes, former co-workers that I never formed a personal relationship, people who randomly IM'ed me after having looked at my profile and said 'hey you seem interesting' but then never said anything again, etc), I'll just rinse them out when I'm in that mood.

[Lureo]

Sometimes I vary and invent a new protocol but not people understand it. Some people maybe think that impolite. Or inapropriate.

 

For exemple

I start by an information (the most important) or a question

Then I continue Bye How are you (I hate that question. I hate when People ask me that question I hate asking it but now I know this is the protocole if I don't do it is not working)

Then I say Hi

.......

That is not impolite but I think this is just cultural. And as anticonformist and kind of rebel this is the way I am. I always try to be polite and respond. I rarely ignore someone except when I don't receive the message or I cannot. And I say Sorry I am busy.

The reverse order.

But Now I am off of topic. 

Edited April 24, 2019 by Lureo

[Zeta Vandyke]

2 hours ago, Lureo said:

Then I continue Bye How are you (I hate that question. I hate when People ask me that question I hate asking it but now I know this is the protocole if I don't do it is not working)

I do not agree with you often, but here I do. I hate that, not just in SL, also in RL.

Because its strictly protocol and not a serious inquiry about someones well being. I mean, if you would answer like "not so good, because bla bla bla" its considered inappropriate. So basically someone asks you how you are but is not really interested in it and your only supposed to answer very briefly and it should be positive and of course you have to return the same question and the same rules to answer applies to them. Its just a question out of politeness but to me that is the definition of being impolite, asking me how I am but not really being interested or wanting a true answer to the question. Its fake.

 

[Lureo]

28 minutes ago, Zeta Vandyke said:

 

Thank you all for your remarks, responses etc...

I still have to learn how to be more patient, to know that SL has all kind of people all kind of expectations all kind of protocol.

How can I close the topic? Because I think I open it and would like to do closed.

 

[Madelaine McMasters]

13 minutes ago, Lureo said:

Thank you all for your remarks, responses etc...

I still have to learn how to be more patient, to know that SL has all kind of people all kind of expectations all kind of protocol.

How can I close the topic? Because I think I open it and would like to do closed.

You can't close a topic, you can only walk away from it. The rest of us may well keep it going forever. It's happened!