Weird things happening (harassment?)

[LittleMe Jewell]

2 hours ago, Scylla Rhiadra said:

2 hours ago, BilliJo Aldrin said:

Every little thing someone "does" to you doesn't require a report to the Lindens.

Just laugh or roll your eyes and tp out.

 

You are in a position, BilliJo, to accurately appraise how you would response emotionally to this kind of griefing. It is, for what it's worth, probably also how I would respond. But there are people here, for a wide and very real set of possible reasons, who might find an experience like this triggering or upsetting to a degree that you are clearly incapable of imagining. Who are you or I to decide, working from utter ignorance of their circumstances, that they are being "unreasonable"?

You might try deploying a bit of empathy and generosity here, before dismissing everyone who doesn't share your particular brand of emotional "strength" a "special snowflake." You actually lose not a thing by behaving with a bit of generosity instead of judgmentally.

 

13 minutes ago, Scylla Rhiadra said:

well, I was referencing your apparent attitude, rather than your specific language. But sure, ok! Acknowledged!

 

I think this might be one of those times when you are making an assumption about BilliJo just because it is BilliJo, based off of post history.

 

Truth be told, we (i.e. many, many of us forum regulars) actually give that same advice - basically just ignore it and leave - to most folks here on the forums, old and new, when they come here complaining about somebody bothering them.  We mention that if it keeps up, they can AR, but it is far easier and more pragmatic to just leave and ignore the person.

 

[Phil Deakins]

9 hours ago, Love Zhaoying said:

You never heard of “orbiting”, therefore it doesn’t exist. Got it!

Wrong. Orbiting exists, but what Pussycat described does not. Got it now?

I hope that helps you to better understand that bit of the thread, like others managed to do (except Pussycat, who still seems to imagine that a landowner can orbit an avatar that's on his/her land simply by right clicking on the avatar and clicking something in the menu).

Edited January 6, 2019 by Phil Deakins

[angelikiinha]

Thank you all! I checked the land, its owned by a group called Sandbox Metropol, he doesn't seem to be part of it.

Yes, I can find another sandbox. Anyway, I don't think it's fair to leave because of an *******. This is probably what he wants me to do - as any other person he did the same (for sure I'm not the first). Reported.

[besides, the guy as a price list to be his friend. WTH? LOL]

[Pamela Galli]

9 minutes ago, angelikiinha said:

Yes, I can find another sandbox. Anyway, I don't think it's fair to leave because of an *******.

Fair to whom? You mean justice?

 If the land owner lets you stay, then stay. Report or not, it’s up to you. However LL may ask why you are not using the antigriefimg measures already suggested to you. 

Or are you asking not how to solve the problem but make sure justice is served?

Edited January 6, 2019 by Pamela Galli

[angelikiinha]

14 minutes ago, Pamela Galli said:

Fair to whom? You mean justice?

 If the land owner lets you stay, then stay. Report or not, it’s up to you. However LL may ask why you are not using the antigriefimg measures already suggested to you. 

Or are you asking not how to solve the problem but make sure justice is served?

Fair to anyone in SL. If griefers are not reported and we just leave "ah because thats the way it is", so it's exactly why they keep doing it.

And as far as I understood, he is not land owner. He could just have banned me (for whatever reason, remembering HE was rude with me before, I was quiet). Of course I wouldn't complain about, but to make my experience a crap because he is the owner doesn't sound cool or even inside LL rules.

[Pamela Galli]

Just now, angelikiinha said:

Fair to anyone in SL. If griefers are not reported and we just leave "ah because thats the way it is", so it's exactly why they keep doing it.

You may need to explain that in your reports. You may need to file a lot of them to convince LL that it is not fair to expect you to apply the solutions available to you.

[angelikiinha]

I just gave my opinion and shared what I did, following the suggestions here that I thought were more appropriate. No drama. Thank you for the help.

[Scylla Rhiadra]

35 minutes ago, LittleMe Jewell said:

 

I think this might be one of those times when you are making an assumption about BilliJo just because it is BilliJo, based off of post history.

 

Truth be told, we (i.e. many, many of us forum regulars) actually give that same advice - basically just ignore it and leave - to most folks here on the forums, old and new, when they come here complaining about somebody bothering them.  We mention that if it keeps up, they can AR, but it is far easier and more pragmatic to just leave and ignore the person.

 

There's probably some truth to that, Lil, and I partially acknowledged as much in the follow-up post that you quote above. (And I should also acknowledge that BilliJo did not respond with a simple "laugh," as I frankly thought she would.)

That said . . . while I agree that most of us, including me, would not AR something like this, and might even recommend that others not do so, I don't like judging those who do, because I just can't know how it might have impacted upon them as individuals.

[BilliJo Aldrin]

1 hour ago, Phil Deakins said:

Wrong. Orbiting exists, but what Pussycat described does not. Got it now?

I hope that helps you to better understand that bit of the thread, like others managed to do (except Pussycat, who still seems to imagine that a landowner can orbit an avatar that's on his/her land simply by right clicking on the avatar and clicking something in the menu).

If you want to kick someone from your land, you right click them and from the pie graph choose eject. It doesn't politely walk them to the door, it throws them in the air and they land outside the parcel. It's not orbiting per se but it does send them flying through the air, arms and legs flailing.

I know because before I eject someone I lock my camera on them.

[Wulfie Reanimator]

10 hours ago, Pussycat Catnap said:

The whole ting about being sent flying into the air... is oddly a feature built into SL as something they decided to give as a power to people who have control over a spot of land.

What I meant by orbiting is something that is done by scripted objects. If pushing is enabled, the object will just apply force to your avatar to throw it straight up, constantly. Optionally, even if pushing is disabled, an even more common thing to do is cage the target avatar into an object and make the object push itself up instead, since that can always be done.

[Phil Deakins]

38 minutes ago, BilliJo Aldrin said:

If you want to kick someone from your land, you right click them and from the pie graph choose eject. It doesn't politely walk them to the door, it throws them in the air and they land outside the parcel. It's not orbiting per se but it does send them flying through the air, arms and legs flailing.

I know because before I eject someone I lock my camera on them.

Yes, we all know that. What Pussycat described doesn't exist. Alright now?

[Scylla Rhiadra]

52 minutes ago, BilliJo Aldrin said:

I know because before I eject someone I lock my camera on them

Wee. Fun.

You sure know how to have a good time.

[BilliJo Aldrin]

1 hour ago, Scylla Rhiadra said:

Wee. Fun.

You sure know how to have a good time.

Try it, You'll Like it

[Blush Bravin]

In all my years in SL, until the creation of premium sandboxes, I avoided all sandboxes like the plague, because I knew I would ALWAYS run into at least one griefer. It was just a fact of life. Did I report said griefers? Yes, but I also learned that using those sandboxes just were not worth the headache of dealing with the griefers. There were a couple places I would occasionally use, Builder's Brewery and The Ivory Tower, where griefers tended to get dealt with rather quickly. 

For many years I maintained a large enough land that I could rez a platform in the sky to build on, but with premium sandboxes I don't need to do that and consequently the amount of sqm I pay tier on has decreased substantially.

[Roxy Couturier]

I go to a privately owned sandbox on Zindra when I need one. One where the owner doesn't put up with annoying prats. I don't AR, I IM and a few hours at most later, the griffer is no longer a problem at that sandbox.

Because it's on adult land, there have been just a handful of times that griefers have shown up over the course of the last 8 years or so.

[Sasy Scarborough]

8 hours ago, Donna Underall said:

I didn't know this when I first came to SL and it was very bad.  

Depending on how new to SL you are, tping out of anything is not usually the first thing to come to mind, so I can relate. I once lag walked behind a Jevn vendor (those things were often oversized) and it was diagonally across a corner of a castle (still have issues with this memory that I remember that 12 years on lol ) and I was unable to get out of this confined sky high corner, kept trying to turn around, to get back through the crack that had let me through in the first place, the whole time getting more and more anxious, and then on top I got motion sick so badly I had to log out and lay down lol this is hysterical to write, but getting trapped in anything has a reaction of being trapped. No one is going to assume that it doesn't actually trap you, unless you are more gamer type savvy I guess.

I remember the tools earlier than Mysti I think, they were an ear piece you wore to communicate on other channels, and also had things like a jail you could rez onto people and so on, many sim owners used to do that to people they decided may be trouble, or just to be nasty. I can see all that having been reason people left SL. 

 

[Blush Bravin]

6 hours ago, angelikiinha said:

Fair to anyone in SL. If griefers are not reported and we just leave "ah because thats the way it is", so it's exactly why they keep doing it.

I'm not trying to be argumentative, but I really don't think griefers want you to leave. They get their kicks out of tormenting you. They want you to show up day after day so they can get off on it. Filing an abuse report and then removing yourself from their presence is the best way to remove the reward he/she/they are getting from their actions. Leave it to Linden Lab to act on your AR.

[Gabriele Graves]

I guess this is why LL added Premium Sandboxes on the assumption that most griefers will not use a Premium account to do it on when there are easier pickings.

[Pamela Galli]

4 minutes ago, Blush Bravin said:

I'm not trying to be argumentative, but I really don't think griefers want you to leave. They get their kicks out of tormenting you. They want you to show up day after day so they can get off on it. Filing an abuse report and then removing yourself from their presence is the best way to remove the reward he/she/they are getting from their actions. Leave it to Linden Lab to act on your AR.

Exactly. Standing your ground may be “fair” but gets you nothing except frustrated. 

The kindest thing ito tell people is not what they want to hear but what is true. 

[Scylla Rhiadra]

58 minutes ago, Blush Bravin said:

I'm not trying to be argumentative, but I really don't think griefers want you to leave. They get their kicks out of tormenting you. They want you to show up day after day so they can get off on it. Filing an abuse report and then removing yourself from their presence is the best way to remove the reward he/she/they are getting from their actions. Leave it to Linden Lab to act on your AR.

And I think that, for most of us, and certainly for new people, that is probably the best route to go. But YMMV, as they say, and I think that someone who wants to stand her ground certainly doesn't deserve to be vilified for choosing to do so (which, I hasten to add, is not what I think you are doing).

(And you know, honestly, now that I think about it, I'm not sure that I would just leave. I've dealt with too much of that kind of cr*p in the past to feel comfortable with feeling pushed out by some moron. I'm not going to pretend that I'd be very hopeful that I would "win," but really . . . would most of us here, especially the oldsters, really leave with our tails between our legs after firing off a probably fruitless AR? I doubt it.

Or maybe I'm just feeling grumpy and combative at the moment.)

Edited January 7, 2019 by Scylla Rhiadra

[Scylla Rhiadra]

50 minutes ago, Gabriele Graves said:

I guess this is why LL added Premium Sandboxes on the assumption that most griefers will not use a Premium account to do it on when there are easier pickings.

There are some reasonable options for non-Premium residents too. I don't do much large-scale creation anymore, and most of what I do I can manage at "home," but I've used the Ivory Tower of Prims a couple of times in the past few months, and I've not had any bad experiences there. Maybe it's just better policed?

2 hours ago, Roxy Couturier said:

I don't AR, I IM and a few hours at most later, the griffer is no longer a problem at that sandbox.

I think that this is probably really excellent advice.

Edited January 7, 2019 by Scylla Rhiadra

[Gabriele Graves]

5 minutes ago, Scylla Rhiadra said:

And I think that, for most of us, and certainly for new people, that is probably the best route to go. But YMMV, as they say, and I think that someone who wants to stand her ground certainly doesn't deserve to be vilified for choosing to do so (which, I hasten to add, is not what I think you are doing).

(And you know, honestly, now that I think about it, I'm not sure that I would just leave. I've dealt with too much of that kind of cr*p in the past to feel comfortable with feeling pushed out by some moron. I'm not going to pretend that I'd be very hopeful that I would "win," but really . . . would most of us here, especially the oldsters, really leave with our tails between our legs after firing off a probably fruitless AR? I doubt it.

Or maybe I'm just feeling grumpy and combative at the moment.)

The only way to win is not to play.

The best you can do is to choose a sandbox that has push and damage turned off, block an offending person and use something like Firestorm that has a built in MoveLock or sit on a prim, there isn't much they can do to annoy you then.

[Pamela Galli]

1 hour ago, Scylla Rhiadra said:

I'm not going to pretend that I'd be very hopeful that I would "win," but really . . . would most of us here, especially the oldsters, really leave with our tails between our legs after firing off a probably fruitless AR? I doubt it.

Really? I can’t imagine why I would go anyplace I knew I was almost guaranteed to be griefed.* I suspect some people get off on the drama.

* Although most of the griefing reported here is about stuff I would not care about (He looked at me! She pushed me! He wrote mean things about me in his profile!)

As Viktor Frankl pointed out, no one is without the ability to choose: 

“Everything can be taken from a man but one thing: the last of the human freedoms—to choose one’s attitude in any given set of circumstances, to choose one’s own way.”

Edited January 7, 2019 by Pamela Galli

[Blush Bravin]

6 minutes ago, Scylla Rhiadra said:

but really . . . would most of us here, especially the oldsters, really leave with our tails between our legs after firing off a probably fruitless AR? I doubt it.

15 years on and off the grid here .. so I think I qualify as an oldster. I have NEVER felt as though I was leaving with my tail between my legs. I did what was appropriate. I filed a detailed AR with pic showing evidence of abuse. I then removed myself because there is no reason for anyone to stay where they are being abused. That's like cutting off your nose to spite your face. It doesn't make sense to me.

2 minutes ago, Scylla Rhiadra said:

I've used the Ivory Tower of Prims a couple of times in the past few months, and I've not had any bad experiences there.

I guess you did not read my other post in this thread about my experiences over the years. I too mentioned Ivory Tower as a good alternative as well as Builder's Brewery. And yes, both are policed by the owners quite well. 

[Scylla Rhiadra]

1 minute ago, Gabriele Graves said:

The only way to win is not to play.

The best you can do is to choose a sandbox that has push and damage turned off, block an offending person and use something like Firestorm that has a built in MoveLock or sit on a prim, there isn't much they can do to annoy you then.

Oh, I know. You're right, of course about not "winning." Hell, it took years to get one of the most toxic and prolific trolls I've ever known off this forum.

And, again, for a new person, leaving is undoubtedly the best advice. Unless that person doesn't want to, in which case I sort of feel she merits at least moral support.