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I've had the worst experience on SecondLife


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Hi all, i needed to vent and i did not know where i would. I started 2 weeks ago, and immediately was happy to find a game similar to the Sims2.

I payed for my membership and have bought some items with RL money. Though i never expected to be treated the way i have been by some of the most vicious members i have ever come across in game play in the history i have been playing games.

This is not how an online community should be conducted, i'm really shocked. I can't believe i have invested money into this game to have lousy response as a paying customer. I have been threatened and kicked out of places because certain members knew the "owners".

This is ridiculous that people can not enjoy a simple game. I don't think this is for me and i commend those who put up with this type of gameplay. It's unbelievable to me and baffling.

 

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@ NiaShtanova

Could you explain in more detail what happened to upset you? Perhaps the other residents who've been in world for a while can help you.

I'll also add that since Second Life isn't really a game, you shouldn't expect the other people using it to behave as players of a game might. People in SL tend to treat it as a world, in which often they pay RL money to have control over virtual businesses, land & groups. They are therefore often very protective of these things, so if they feel you're infringing on their own enjoyment or vision for these things, they might get a bit impolite about it. I've been ejected from a store for standing too long in front of an item I was considering buying & taking to long to figure out how to use the "coupon" provided by the merchant. I've been ejected for telling a creator of a hunt item (who had asked for my opinion) that I didn't think his creation was very good. (I was ejected by his friend, not by him).

People can be a bit touchy sometimes in RL & in SL, but most of the time they're reasonable. Sometimes they're even fun, kind & interesting. In SL you take the bad with the good, and on the whole I think it's worth one's time to explore & play here.

 

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What Persaphone said.

Second Life is more like a chat room with graphics than a video game.  You have to sort of stretch the meaning of "game" to the point of near meaninglessness for it to apply at all... so it might be partly having the wrong set of expectations.  Also... SL is full of all kinds of people, but it has more than its share of social ineptness.  Its just the nature of the thing.

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Oh no! I am sorry to hear that you had a lousy experience! SL is like real life, a lot of bad people that enjoy making your life miserable. There are a lot of good SL people as well. Like was said earlier, SL isn't so much a game as an experience. You have to accept that the people you meet in SL are not there for your amusement, they are here for their own. You must find places and persons you enjoy. Don't evaluate all of SL after just two weeks, it has been around a long time, imagine hating all of the U.S. just because you were thrust into a bad neighborhood in the middle of the night during a gang war (or whatever counts as a bad experience for you.) Point is, you would miss out on all the cool stuff, like the Grand Canyon, Seattle, New York, etc. Go somewhere nice, join a friendly group, and above all, stay away from the "Welcome Areas."  :P

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Hi Nia,

Yep, that does not sound too surprising.  Sorry to hear about your "welcome" to SL.  The great thing about SL is that it is a user created environment.  The downside is... it's a user created environment.  If some jerk wants to open a club or some other venue and be rude to guests, then there is little stopping them.  If they want to appoint their friends as some sort of clique of enforcers... then they can.

Every nest of jerks you will find here, you will find several really cool places with loads of really nice, welcoming people.  If you still want to give SL a try after your unpleasant experience, then I encourage you to keep looking.  The saying "Birds of a feather flock together." is perhaps nowhere more relevant than here in SL.  "Nice" folks tend to hang around each other and "nasty" people do the same.  Of course the definition of nice and nasty can vary depending on one's point of view.

SL is like any other niche community and we have our unwritten rules and codes of conduct and whatnot.  You said that places (plural) had run you off.  It is possible that you were somehow breaking one of these rules that nobody told you about and instead of recognizing that you were new and giving you some "slack" and being tolerant and perhaps informing you of what you did or said, they just snapped at you and threw you out. 

Did you say or do anything before each of these places ejected you?  Perhaps if you told us we could tell you if you had in fact "done something wrong" or as I suspect, they were just being jerks. :)

 

 

 

 

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Cabbage Acanthus wrote:

Yep, that does not sound too surprising.  [...]

it seems very suprising to me, since in the 6+ years I've been here I've been ejected from exactly 1 place (not including automated security systems)

I am NOT suggesting OP is to blame, but rather that OP just found a nest of drama invested people.... it happens... best bet is once you realize that's what they're about, ignore and avoid them.... SL is a huge place, and there's much better to be had than that sort of behavior.

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NiaShtanova wrote:

Hi all, i needed to vent and i did not know where i would. I started 2 weeks ago, and immediately was happy to find a game similar to the Sims2.

I payed for my membership and have bought some items with RL money. Though i never expected to be treated the way i have been by some of the most vicious members i have ever come across in game play in the history i have been playing games.

This is not how an online community should be conducted, i'm really shocked. I can't believe i have invested money into this game to have lousy response as a paying customer. I have been threatened and kicked out of places because certain members knew the "owners".

This is ridiculous that people can not enjoy a simple game. I don't think this is for me and i commend those who put up with this type of gameplay. It's unbelievable to me and baffling.

 

 

this isn't a game, its a mirror of real life, so its not simple.

you will find though,  that your attitude will help or hinder you.

and owners generally don't kick people out on the hearsay of others, if they do there are plenty of other places to go.

if they all kick you out then you should begin to question your behavior.

it can be fun :)

 

 

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Void Singer wrote:


Cabbage Acanthus wrote:

Yep, that does not sound too surprising.  [...]

it seems very suprising to me, since in the 6+ years I've been here I've been ejected from exactly 1 place (not including automated security systems)

I am NOT suggesting OP is to blame, but rather that OP just found a nest of drama invested people.... it happens... best bet is once you realize that's what they're about, ignore and avoid them.... SL is a huge place, and there's much better to be had than that sort of behavior.

 

I haven't been bounced from too many places during my time here but I have heard of such situations from friends and acquaintences almost since day one.  Posts like this aren't uncommon in the forums.  This sort of thing happens.

In my personal experience, the one time that I did get banned from a place that I actually cared about, I was able to contact the actual parcel owner and discuss the situation with them and get reinstated with little trouble.  I usually just leave a club, venue, whatever, never to return once I see a problem like this happening so the situation doesn't develop to the ban stage.  I recommend that the OP do the same.

The OP has said that it was "places" not a place.  If this is happening often this early in their time in SL then it is quite possible that the OP is, perhaps unknowingly, breaking some "taboo" here in SL and instead of getting a friendly bit of advice, the club "security" (always primed for a scrap) just slams them with a griping out and a ban instead of helping a newbie out.  That could very well not be the case and the OP just landed in a nest of twerps (it could really go either way)

OP, if you do not wish to discuss the issue publicly, feel free to either IM me in world, or send me a private message here with the details and I will let you know if you made a faux-pas or if they were just being jerks.

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To paraphrase the OP [NB - I don't really mean this, but this is how it reads]:

I didn't want to be part of Second Life, I wanted to be part of The Sims.

Even though this isn't The Sims and I don't know what I'm doing I paid real money for some things.  Because I paid real money I expect to be treated like I own the place.  Some awful people wouldn't let me do exactly what I wanted.

This isn't The Sime, I'm shocked.  I can't believe I spent real money on something that isn't The Sims.  How dare people not let me do whatever I wanted, just because they are paying too and it's their place.

It's ridiculous that this isn't The Sime.  I think this must be something different to The Sims so congratulations to those who behave differently.  It's unbelievable to me and baffling.

==================

So - you came here expecting a different thing and behaved as if was.  You paid real money without learning about Second Life and then got upset when some people didn't like you behaving against the rules they are also paying to have.

Sorry - you're in the wrong place and this just sounds like drama.

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PeterCanessa Oh wrote:

To paraphrase the OP [NB - I don't really mean this, but this is how it reads]:

I didn't want to be part of Second Life, I wanted to be part of The Sims.

Even though this isn't The Sims and I don't know what I'm doing I paid real money for some things.  Because I paid real money I expect to be treated like I own the place.  Some
awful
people wouldn't let me do exactly what I wanted.

This isn't The Sime, I'm shocked.  I can't believe I spent real money on something that isn't The Sims.  How dare people not let me do whatever I wanted, just because they are paying too and it's their place.

It's ridiculous that this isn't The Sime.  I think this must be something different to The Sims so congratulations to those who behave differently.  It's unbelievable to me and baffling.

==================

So - you came here expecting a different thing and behaved as if was.  You paid real money without learning about Second Life and then got upset when some people didn't like you behaving against the rules they are also paying to have.

Sorry - you're in the wrong place and this just sounds like drama.

Actually a number of people have told me they were attracted to Second Life because it reminded them of The Sims. I think people know every game/platform/community is different so I don't think the OP came onto SL thinking it would be "just" like The Sims.

 

Nia, I'm sorry to hear that you have had a run-in with some not-so-nice people. Just remember that SL is HUGE, so don't let one bad experience damper your SL :)

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NiaShtanova wrote:

Hi all, i needed to vent and i did not know where i would. I started 2 weeks ago, and immediately was happy to find a game similar to the Sims2.

I payed for my membership and have bought some items with RL money. Though i never expected to be treated the way i have been by some of the most vicious members i have ever come across in game play in the history i have been playing games.

This is not how an online community should be conducted, i'm really shocked. I can't believe i have invested money into this game to have lousy response as a paying customer. I have been threatened and kicked out of places because certain members knew the "owners".

This is ridiculous that people can not enjoy a simple game. I don't think this is for me and i commend those who put up with this type of gameplay. It's unbelievable to me and baffling.

 

 

Well, perhaps you should explain the problem a bit more.

In any case, your profile says "I'm sexually agressive by nature". Perhaps you have been sexually agressive. I don't know, of course.

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Monica Querrien wrote:

Actually a number of people have told me they were attracted to Second Life because it reminded them of The Sims. I think people know every game/platform/community is different so I don't think the OP came onto SL thinking it would be "just" like The Sims.

 

I agree and that's why I said it was how it read but not what I thought she meant.  The thing is, the OP as it stands is just "OMG, people here don't like me, so I don't like here".  Drama, with an obvious out ...

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I’m always sorry to hear when someone has a bad experience,  but like others have said – you did not provide any details to which we can respond with constructive advice.

In the 5 months I have been in SL,  most people have been very nice to me.  There are a few rude ones here and there, but that's to be expected.   Good news,  Second Life  is way bigger and a great deal more free than SimsOnline – in Second Life the possibilities are endless.  As someone who used to play a lot of Sims games, as well as subscribe to Simsonline,  I think SL just takes time to get used to.  Overall,  it has more to offer than any other virtual world I’ve found to date.

I have only gotten kicked out of one place & that was because I went afk and my avi ended up on the stage somehow – the club really had no choice but to eject me.   I was welcomed back with open arms the next time I came,  and I have since learned not to leave my avi just standing there when I have to step away from the computer for more than just a few minutes.

 

 

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Second-Life can be daunting at first. I had the same problem when i first joined SL due to the amount of unfriendlyness/lack of help that was shown to new residents by older ones(who didn't mind bragging about their 1+ year of SL "status") i nearly quit twice (not just limited on hubs but also public parcels as well) as well as trying to figure out the menu and how things worked at the same time.

As it is the owner's land there's really nothing that can be ''done'' no matter how ridicolous the rules are unless there's TOS violations. Other than that, don't bother giving these lands traffic(by being there)/tips if they cannot treat all their visitors equal. Their not worth ruining your SL experience as there's other lands out there that can be explored that aren't as riggid as others. Second-Life users tend to be protective due to the amount of RL money invested, and owning land sadly in SL is not "cheap" and can be pricey if you actually want to build/have anything on it . Serious residents do not view SL as a "game" in general(like an mmorpg), even though there are game implimentions in second-life and it is a virtual world where virtual things exsist, and often times RL is mixed in with SL( real-life businesses, events, etc), but things can get out of hand.

If you feel that Second-Life is somehow hassling or censoring you from expressing yourself to what you feel comfortable as your online avie then there's other social-chat clients avaible. These social-chats don't offer all the customization features SL does, but are "lighter" in a sense in a mmorpg fashion.

Sorry you had to encounter rotten experiences from vicious members. There are still fun residents(and lands) out there who come to enjoy SL and it's features. If you have any questions, feel free to contact me in-world. I'll be glad to help. :smileytongue:

 

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There are places on SL that are full of umm, "rude people". Thing is, places like that don't seem to last. Maybe said welcome area is full of cliquish people. Well, people do not like to be excluded so will cause grief any way they can. I think this is why Avatar Island vanished and their clique disbanded.

 

Welcome areas are bad for that, probably the worst. It is going to get worse now that the teenagers are allowed on.

One problem also is that newbies get messed with a lot since they don't know much about this game.

Some newbies come in and think they are going to grief. I go to this one sandbox sometimes and each time some newbie thinks they are going to grief me, they quickly find out otherwise.

The best way to approach the social scene of SL, in my experience, is to NOT be part of anyone's clique, but just make scattered friends. Few of my SL friends even know each other. Some are pre-SL friends, some are kind of mentors to me, some are clients, and then others are more-less like "Hello, bye-bye" types that I see once in a blue moon.

For the ones who say things like, "Well I know such and such and will have you kicked off!" Oh whatever, and in RL my best friend is the toughest guy on the block. And I am telling the prinicpal! I am calling my attorney. See what I mean? Some people like to hide in the shadows of the bigger guys.

To get banned from SL, you really have to mess up big. Being underage, crashing sims, stealing content (copybotting) or something serious. Being banned from SL doesn't happen just cause you cussed someone out or didn't kiss some land officer's butt.

 

In SL, you CAN be ejected or banned at a land officer's whim, however, even that is pretty unusual, I mean unless you are truely a griefer or create repeated trouble. Less people means less traffic, and no land owner wants their area to become a ghost town. I know one club in SL I used to love, it was big, busy, but now it is DEAD dead cause the owner is such a (fill in explicit word) Even the old vendors packed up and left.

But yeah in SL, stay the hell away from the cliques. Oh hell, in REAL life stay away from cliques! Be your own person and choose your own friends!.

To learn more about the silliness of SL, seek out on youtube the videos "man vs second life" and it's sequal. All is very true and very comical.

Erin

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  • 3 weeks later...

When I first came to SL, I met some amazing fun people... but I also met some horrible people. Over time though I learned that Second Life is a huge place and this makes it so easy & simple to just avoid these irritants.

In my experience with SL almost 5 years later, I find most people here are unbelievably kind & good natured... the nicest people.... but you won't discover them right away sometimes at the beginning of your Second Life. Areas for newbies (that you likely discovered first) are often clustered with the worst types, complete dregs of society often hang out there just to harass people.

To solve this problem I would just go somewhere else exploring this big wide world. If you don't want to leave, there is always the "mute" option for any annoying people.

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Setekh Ichtama wrote:

Land owners can do pretty much what they want because it's their land.

Here's hoping you never have to open a support ticket though! :smileyvery-happy:

 

they can boot someone for any reason..but they cannot do pretty much what they want to anyone because it's their land..

they are under the CS and TOS also..even when it comes down to visitors on their land..

they have owners rights to the virtual land and can lose those rights and be perma banned just as easy as any asshat being an asshat..

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Irene Muni wrote:

 

NiaShtanova wrote:

Hi all, i needed to vent and i did not know where i would. I started 2 weeks ago, and immediately was happy to find a game similar to the Sims2.

I payed for my membership and have bought some items with RL money. Though i never expected to be treated the way i have been by some of the most vicious members i have ever come across in game play in the history i have been playing games.

This is not how an online community should be conducted, i'm really shocked. I can't believe i have invested money into this game to have lousy response as a paying customer. I have been threatened and kicked out of places because certain members knew the "owners".

This is ridiculous that people can not enjoy a simple game. I don't think this is for me and i commend those who put up with this type of gameplay. It's unbelievable to me and baffling.

 

 

Well, perhaps you should explain the problem a bit more.

In any case, your
says "
I'm sexually agressive by nature
". Perhaps you have been sexually agressive. I don't know, of course.


 

I see. Well, let's review:


And so we have the concept of a place, in SL, kicking out a woman because she's sexually aggressive, and non-apologetic about it.


/chirp chirp chirp

 

And now for the non-fiction segment we'd like to start with "Women Who Love Xcite and the Men Who Love Them Repeatedly For It"  :womantongue:

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  • 2 years later...

I'm so very very sorry it was so negative for you I truly am. Please know that most of the folks there, are very kind loving souls who are able to reach out across oceans to make you smile :) I'm a 4 yr resident of SL, and recently decided to delete my account after my experience. First, I want to warn ALL women out there, about LOVERBOI or FloridaBoi. This man is a 54 year old married man, who works in telemarketing. He is manipulative and the worst kind of guy you could meet there. Beware. He is a true wolf in sheeps clothingd.

SL for me, because of where I am geologically located is great for the winter time when getting out is impossible. But, at this point I'm going to enjoy my real life and be thankful for my many many blessings that are right here around me. SL is a beautiful place that needs work on who they allow in there. Somehow there needs to be a no second avi option. A very good friend of mine was jilted by a guy, that had 22 alts. NO lie. 22.  Take it for what it is. Faceless contact with strangers like you would on the street. Use at your own risk, and ALWAYS, keep your private life, private. 

Peace all

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Karalynn Roxley wrote:

I'm so very very sorry it was so negative for you I truly am. Please know that most of the folks there, are very kind loving souls who are able to reach out across oceans to make you smile
:)
I'm a 4 yr resident of SL, and recently decided to delete my account after my experience. First, I want to warn ALL women out there, about
XXXXXXX or XXXXXXXX
.
This man is a
<more stuff you shouldn't post>
. He is manipulative and the worst kind of guy you could meet there. Beware. He is a true wolf in sheeps clothingd.

SL for me, because of where I am geologically located is great for the winter time when getting out is impossible. But, at this point I'm going to enjoy my real life and be thankful for my many many blessings that are right here around me. SL is a beautiful place that needs work on who they allow in there. Somehow there needs to be a no second avi option. A very good friend of mine was jilted by a guy, that had 22 alts. NO lie. 22.  Take it for what it is. Faceless contact with strangers like you would on the street. Use at your own risk, and ALWAYS, keep your private life, private. 

Peace all

If those are usernames and/or display names I XX'd out, you should edit your post and remove them too. You can't name residents here in that way, however nasty a piece of work you've found them to be.

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Kelli May wrote:


Perrie Juran wrote:

You do realise that this Thread is like THREE YEARS OLD?    
;)

The bit I'm replying to was posted today, and the reason for my reply is relevant to that post, not the OP.

(Just like yours)

Ooooops.   I was meaning to tag the other person.  My bad for not reading all the way.

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