Is it frowned upon to use a real picture in your Second Life profile, or is it just really rare?

[Rolig Loon]

Ceera and I are on the same page here, as we often are.  I have been in SL for over five and a half years, and I've always kept my RL and SL totally separate.  Personal privacy has a lot to do with it, but my main reason is that I find that my time in SL is less confusing and more enjoyable if I can stay in world mentally.  It's sort of like going on vacation and wanting to leave the cell phone and laptop at home so you can relax and not have to think about normal rat race stuff. 

I don't look at other people's 1st Life photos for the same reason that I don't ever use Voice.  I have a mental image of each of the friends I have made in SL over the years.  It's more vivid than the image I build when I read a novel, because we're all real people, but it's a lot like that.  When I hear a SL friend's RL voice or see her photo, it messes with the image I have in my mind.  I'm "on vacation" in SL.  I don't want RL to follow me here.

I know that's not the way many people see SL, and that's fine.  This is supposed to be a "Your World -- Your Imagination" place, so we each have different ways to experience it.  I don't post my RL pic because that wouldn't be consistent with my own way of living in SL.  

[Perrie Juran]

OK, I'll fess up. 

I can't post my RL picture in my profile.

The Martian Elders would ban me to Uranus.

It's dark and cold and lonely there.

Worst of all, I'd have to deal with Klingons.

 

[Dillon Levenque]

I have been here a few years; I have seen a couple of forum posts from people that didn't like seeing RL info on the profile but I doubt there's any general prejudice against people who have RL pictures. I mean, if you aren't curious about someone's RL don't look. Easy enough.

I went for years with nothing at all on my 'First Life' tab. It was only the change to web profiles and the fact that I got interested in the SL Feed that caused me to put something in my RL section. I made sure it would be clearly NOT real (and if you've looked and really did think I was an alien....well, I'm sorry to have confused you). I guess that was kind of my way of showing that I wasn't going to be talking about RL.

Naturally my friends have learned a lot about my RL, just as I've learned a lot about theirs. I'm sure that's true of most of us. We just don't care to share that with the whole wide world.

[Czari Zenovka]

A tiny bit off-track here, but this thread brought it to mind.  On the subject of RL pictures, I consider it greatly frowned upon (by me and likely others) to be asked to dance and have the guy (for me) ask within 10 minutes variations of "I want to see your RL photo."  Sometimes it is phrased as, "So, why isn't your photo on the FL page?"  or even a blunt, "Send me your RL photo."  I figure these guys are generally on the youngish side or maybe part of the Facebook crowd, but at any rate, this irks me to no end. 

I responded to one guy who asked why my RL photo wasn't on my profile that his wasn't either.  He then said, "But my blog is listed and my photo is there."  Well, gah.  I rarely pay attention to the profile page where one can list websites.  So I check out the guy's blog and, yes there was a photo (ostensibly) of him in it - taken from a distance without a zoom lens so about the only thing I coud make out was that it was a photo of a guy.

Think I'll institute a new procedure for myself: next time I'm asked this by someone I just met, I'm going to tp away with no prior warning.  In the past, I've said I only share my photo with people I know well, etc. and either the guy says ok, and asks me again about 10 minutes later, or keeps asking.  Yeah...don't need to continue dancing with that type. 

[Dillon Levenque]

I think your latter suggestion probably is the way to go. I won't say people who ask RL information of a stranger are intrinsically wrong, but clearly they experience/think about Second Life in a different way than you (and I and a great many other people) do. You're probably never going to enjoy being with them here and vice versa. Probably the fast TP out is doing them a favor.

[Sassy Romano]

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Dillon Levenque wrote:

I won't say people who ask RL information of a stranger are intrinsically wrong, but clearly they experience/think about Second Life in a different way than you (and I and a great many other people) do. You're probably never going to enjoy being with them here and vice versa. Probably the fast TP out is doing them a favor.

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Happened to me yesterday.

"Hi, i'm 37 from Sweden, u?"

So straight away, I figure he has longish hair, a beard, his name is Bjorn and he plays in a band called Abba.

I didn't stay.  I'd rather my imagination engage me, I don't need to know anything about anyone.

[Pussycat Catnap]

There's an abundant lack because a lot of old residents on old viewers still think you have to pay to put an image in there.

There's also an abundant lack because SL has a lot of iconoclastic socially hostile people who get angry at other people looking them up, so they leave it blank on purpose. Yeah, SL is that place where you go to the dancehall, and somebody gets in a fight because people are dancing... That's the person who's got that blank image - somebody who fails to understand why they are here.

Lastly, its blank because some people log in once or twice and never come back.

 

You -WILL- be judged by the image you put there. And the judgement tends to be very negative if there is no image.

But its not that much better if the image is a RL photo. People are here to avoid the 'RL drama' and if you put a photo in there, you are telling them they cannot do that with you. So they will often avoid you.

 

What you want is to take a screenshot of yourself in a place you like, dressed in a friendly sort of way that communicates a bit about you. You can update it 377 times a day, and I assume if you try for a 378th, it will still work...

- so feel free to put something there, and then change it as you grow with the place.

 

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Phil Deakins wrote:

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Leia36 wrote:

When I started SL I had my RL pic up in my profile under "1st life". 

I was advised to drop it by one of my mentors

 and share my RL pic with those close to me and not make it open to everyone, which makes sense to me. To others, they might have their own reasons to post their RL pic, its a completely personal choice.

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That was bad advice. Why would anyone advise anyone to not have their RL pic there?

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I would say it was very goo advice. Its poor form in SL to have RL info in there. Kind of makes people around you uncomfortable about what they're expected to do and say. And it opens you up to stalking issues.

 

[Dillon Levenque]

 

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Sassy Romano wrote:

Happened to me yesterday.

"Hi, i'm 37 from Sweden, u?"

So straight away, I figure he has longish hair, a beard, his name is Bjorn and he plays in a band called Abba.

I didn't stay.  I'd rather my imagination engage me, I don't need to know anything about anyone.

---

 

LOL. Although....I did kinda like the 'Bjorn'.

Yes on imagination, though. That's why there was that line about imagination in the login page (and it's back). I was thinking about this driving home today. I know a guy who has a shaved head and an actually attractive goatee. He typically wears three-piece suits with cowboy boots (*Shrugs*. Nobody's perfect) and looks really good on a  motorcycle. Why on earth would I need to see his RL picture?

[Tari Landar]

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Pussycat Catnap wrote:

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I would say it was very goo advice. Its poor form in SL to have RL info in there. Kind of makes people around you uncomfortable about what they're expected to do and say. And it opens you up to stalking issues.

 

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I disagree. In my opinion it's poor form to decide for others what is right, and what is wrong, whenever we fancy doing so. Sure some people may overshare, and may put things in there that set them up for potential trouble. But, it's their decision, and it's their SL(though I don't mind advising people that too much rl info, can be a bad thing, that's different than saying "don't share any"). You-general-don't want to do the same, by all means, don't.

I don't tell others they can't live a completely second life here, and must absolutely attach to their avatar at all times and bring rl into sl. I don't see why others should be able to suggest I leave any and all rl behind just because it's what they opt to do, lol. I enjoy my sl the way it is. I like that others can do the same. I like that options exist.

I say whatever tickles your pickle. I like having my rl pic. If that makes someone uncomfy, I suggest they stop looking at it. I'm sure there are far more worthy things to be annoyed by then a pic of lil ole me

[Pussycat Catnap]

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Winter Ventura wrote:

From a personal perspective, I don't use the "Real World Biography" sectionfor much. I provide a few simple facts that people might find useful, but nothing exactly "deep". (answers to the standard "ASL" type questions, mostly, and a link to my blog). I've got a picture in there, but it's just an older profile picture I don't use anymore.

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I use my 1L section as just an extension of the 2L one. I like to put a close up screenshot in 2L, and a full body in scene shot in 1L - figuring the people who click to open that might also click to zoom in the picture. In the text, I just put added info about myself. Not RL info, but my SL expression of myself.

Not that my RL self and SL self are too different, I'm just a little furrier in RL:

 

If someone logs into SL and goes seeking 'teh sexxors' then fine, give it to them. But the moment the RL details start being required up there, people start getting really weird when you -don't- want them to... and somebody will start invading your space offline.

SL comes with a logout button. Facebook... doesn't. Sure there's one on the screen, but your stuff is all still up there talking about you outside of your comfort zone.

 

[Pussycat Catnap]

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Tari Landar wrote:

My rl pic is me and hubby, aside from the fact that my rl tab pretty much lets you know who that is, I don't share any other rl info with folks I don't know. 

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Does your husband know his photo is being used for someone's SL profile?

 

[Tari Landar]

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Pussycat Catnap wrote:

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Tari Landar wrote:

My rl pic is me and hubby, aside from the fact that my rl tab pretty much lets you know who that is, I don't share any other rl info with folks I don't know. 

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Does your husband know his photo is being used for someone's SL profile?

 

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Yes, I wouldn't use it if he didn't. But, as an aside.. I'm not just someone to him

 

[161488303349]

about the photos

one fun thing you can do is morph your avatar with your own photo. is quite fun (or a clebrity photo even)

is lots of sites can do this. i quite like http://www.morphthing.com/

can make your own baby on that one. like if you partnered up in SL then can take photo of each other, then morph them to make a baby photo of your little girl or boy

then can photshop them altogether and make a family portrait and put in your SL house (:

 

[Bree Giffen]

I don't know why there isn't a lot of real life photos in the profiles. I don't think it is frowned upon. For the most part, people just don't fill in their profiles at all. Put something in there people!!!

[Nox Vought]

Only if you're attractive because then it'll bring on the haters and drama. :matte-motes-evil-invert:

 A lot of people don't use them. A few reasons that I can think of are that; they're keeping real and second life seperated (secretive), they might not like how they look, they don't care enough to impress strangers.

[Tex Monday]

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Bree Giffen wrote:

I don't know why there isn't a lot of real life photos in the profiles. I don't think it is frowned upon. For the most part, people just don't fill in their profiles at all. Put something in there people!!!

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I agree....you should have SOMETHING in your profile. Mine sounds incredibly stupid, but it gives people some idea of who I am and what I'm doing here.

As for first life pics..as I said before, it's a personal preference. I don't have one in there because I choose not to. But I do have some information in the tab and a really nice picture of a mountain view for the photo. People like to look at profiles..so at least give them something to see..

[Quinn Morani]

It's just a personal preference. Others have already listed all the reasons I can think of why people may not want to include their RL picture in their profile. In my own profile, I have a bit of info about my RL interests, but the photo is SL.

I actually have no objection to sharing my RL name and photo with my SL friends and have done so in a couple of cases, but I don't want to broadcast it to the world. It just seems easier not to deal with the headache of potential troublemakers. The ones who demand that info are the ones who would be least likely to ever get it from me.

[Syo Emerald]

This place is called Second Life, not facebook. Many people come to this place to relax from their real life and don't want to mix both up. The other big reason is security. Showing whos really behind the avatar can open doors for drama and bad behavior of all flavors.

I have never tried IMVU, but from its general look it appears to be taken less serious and is probably more crowded with teenagers who don't think too much about it.

 

[Perrie Juran]

I will say that I do check RL tabs.  Mostly curiosity. But I don't keep my RL completely separated from my SL. 

One time a particular girls picture got my attention.  I knew I'd seen it before.  So I did a little searching and yep, it was a picture of a professional model.  So at one time I started doing searches on some of the RL pictures I was seeing.

My anecdotal conclusion was this:

The 'prettier' the picture or the more bare flesh there was, the greater the odds it was "stolen,"  that is, it was a picture of someone else.

[Tex Monday]

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Perrie Juran wrote:

I will say that I do check RL tabs.  Mostly curiosity. But I don't keep my RL completely separated from my SL. 

One time a particular girls picture got my attention.  I knew I'd seen it before.  So I did a little searching and yep, it was a picture of a professional model.  So at one time I started doing searches on some of the RL pictures I was seeing.

My anecdotal conclusion was this:

The 'prettier' the picture or the more bare flesh there was, the greater the odds it was "stolen,"  that is, it was a picture of someone else.

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Sorry Perrie, but DUH!! :matte-motes-sunglasses-1:

This is SL...you can anyone or anything you want...and apparently, even on the 1st Life Tab

[Perrie Juran]

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Tex Monday wrote:

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Perrie Juran wrote:

I will say that I do check RL tabs.  Mostly curiosity. But I don't keep my RL completely separated from my SL. 

One time a particular girls picture got my attention.  I knew I'd seen it before.  So I did a little searching and yep, it was a picture of a professional model.  So at one time I started doing searches on some of the RL pictures I was seeing.

My anecdotal conclusion was this:

The 'prettier' the picture or the more bare flesh there was, the greater the odds it was "stolen,"  that is, it was a picture of someone else.

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Sorry Perrie, but DUH!! :matte-motes-sunglasses-1:

This is SL...you can anyone or anything you want...and apparently, even on the 1st Life Tab

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I am not saying I was caught by surprise by this. 

On the other hand, while I don't know how unique this may or may not have been, my early experience and original circle of friends in SL were what I'll refer to as 'real lifers.'  If you were accepted into the group a lot of RL info was shared.  Phone Numbers.  "If SL goes down you can call me."  The other IM services they used such as Yahoo or MSN messenger.  Very open but it was also very easy to get ostracized if you didn't behave.

My first year or so was primarily involved with this group.  Perhaps mine was a very unique experience but my impression at that time was it was not uncommon.

[Tex Monday]

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Perrie Juran wrote:

I am not saying I was caught by surprise by this. 

On the other hand, while I don't know how unique this may or may not have been, my early experience and original circle of friends in SL were what I'll refer to as 'real lifers.'  If you were accepted into the group a lot of RL info was shared.  Phone Numbers.  "If SL goes down you can call me."  The other IM services they used such as Yahoo or MSN messenger.  Very open but it was also very easy to get ostracized if you didn't behave.

My first year or so was primarily involved with this group.  Perhaps mine was a very unique experience but my impression at that time was it was not uncommon.

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I don't really think it's that unusual. A friend of mine had a Mistress on here that would domme her often through Yahoo Messenger. I have (and visa versa) the email addresses of a few of my slaves..one of my maids wants to Skype with me, so I understand. Some people are very willing to give out personal information...more so than having their picture on the 1st Life Tab.

Sorry for the insult, dude..Just pokin' fun at ya!!

[Rolig Loon]

This thread is starting to repeat itself, mostly because it's long enough that nobody is going back to read the first several pages.  Still -- repeating myself and others :smileytongue: -- the diversity in what Perrie and others are saying shows you the only possible answer to the OP's question.  We all have different perceptions about what SL is and how we ought to bridge between SL and RL. I have met many people who experience SL the way Perrie has, so I know it's fairly common.  I'm the polar oppositie case, and so are many of my friends.  I have never met any of them outside of SL, and none of my RL friends even know that I am in SL.  I don't put a RL pic in my profile, and I don't look at other people's. The two worlds are totally separate for me, and I like it that way.   One of the great things about SL is that we don't all have to fit the same mold. Nobody really cares whether you show a RL pic or ignore it. 

[Pussycat Catnap]

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16 wrote:

about the photos

one fun thing you can do is morph your avatar with your own photo. is quite fun (or a clebrity photo even)

is lots of sites can do this. i quite like

http://www.morphthing.com/

 

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Ummm...

http://slwtfug.tumblr.com/tagged/morph

 

- /facepalmerygonewild

 

 

[SinfulPrince]

I've seen some morphs that I rather enjoyed looking at. I did look at the one linked to......very bad. And you would want someone skilled monkeying with yours. But I wouldn't spend too much trying to please the judges of the world or its all you will ever do.