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Suggest April Fools Announcements Linden Lab Could Make

Perrie Juran

By Perrie Juran,
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irihapeti

irihapeti

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Linden Lab is pleased to announce that the company has a new shareholder and board member. We are excited about the new direction the company will take with its flagship product SecondLife. We are even more excited  knowing the experience and vision that Mr Mark Zuckerburg brings with him in our quest to bring you SL II: The Sequel. We see a prosperous future for our other shareholders  residents and we warmly welcome on board Zucks Linden, as he is known inworld

ps

is no truth to the rumor that Zucks has bought an island. We actual gave him a free one. Which one of our staffers locked down for him. bc griffers and he couldnt work out how to do it himself anyways within the 2 hours he had allocated to do this. Is also no truth to the rumor that he smashed a keyboard. It jumped off the desk all by itself. Some kinda quantumy spatially kineticky randomy thingy apparently. Which as we all know happens in SecondLife quite often

pps

is some truth to the rumor that in SL2: The Sequel  we the staff wont be named Linden. That we will be lastnamed Zucks. Like. Mark Zucks, Ebbe Zucks, Ev1 Zucks, etc. However some very junior staffers started giggling when this was announced to them by the water urn in the office. Which actual mystified the senior staffers present. And these junior staffers are still giggling. So we need to get to the bottom of all this giggling before we proceed

 

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Eleanor Ocheis

Eleanor Ocheis

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Linden Labs is proud to announce a new change to your Second Life experience that has been highly demanded for years. We have implimented several new starter avatars and upgrades for existing accounts. We understand how important appearance is to our residents and nothing screams "individuality" more than looking like everyone else. Starting April 1st, you'll find three new starter avatars in your library folder that will also be available as starters - the IPR, created by a famous blogger and sculpted in mesh to have the perfect thigh gap and giants hips. With the IPR, you can look like a fashionista right from the start! For guys, we have the Meathead, based on the most popular look for male avatars grid-wide. Small, head, black hair and a tanned skin bulging with muscles and tattoos. Lastly, we're bringing back Ruth but we've updated her for 2015 with larger breasts and a butt with it's own wiggle physics! Now you'll be glad to be 'Ruthed". We hope you'll enjoy these new additions to the Second Life experience.

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Aethelwine

Aethelwine

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With the success and popularity of breast physics added a few years ago, we have now decided to take the step to add physics for men and furries. We are adding two new bones with physics in the groin area for developers to use with tails and todgers, Settings for gravity and swing etc will all be added to physics options for these limbs.

Do be careful in damage enabled regions though, get too close and you might get knocked out.

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Coby Foden

Coby Foden

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Eleanor Ocheis wrote:

Linden Labs is proud to announce...

Linden Lab will change the name of the company to Linden Labs.

(Unfortunately after the name change, the majority of people will start calling it Linden Lab.)

:smileywink:  :smileytongue:

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Dillon Levenque

Dillon Levenque

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Awesome! It'd be a great addition to a fireworks show (although naturally a thoughtful pyrotechnician would be sure to disarm the warhead first). I spent my formative years close enough to Vandenberg AFB to see missile launches; the Minuteman tests were the best. Like all the solid fuel rockets it had flame galore and smoke from the ground to first stage disconnect. I saw one launch while at a beach party not too far to the north, just after sunset.

The pic on Wikipedia is almost certainly from Vandenberg, I think it's the only launch location that was on an ocean and had cliffs—that is definitely NOT Florida there.

Minuteman launch.jpg

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Madelaine McMasters

Madelaine McMasters

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I think I've told the story of videotaping a sounding rocket launch in Port Washingon. The man standing next to me said "don't bother, you'll only take a video of your shoes". What a silly thing to say. I ignored him.

I centered the rocket in the viewfinder and counted down with the crowd., At the moment of launch the rocket vanished. I lowered the camera from my eye to locate it, but it was gone, gone, gone. The man and I shared a laugh as we reviewed the video I'd taken of... my shoes.

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ChinRey

ChinRey

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Hi, sorry I'm late!

 

"As we all know, inventory clutter has been a major problem for many of our users for long time. Linden Lab has always been keenly aware of this and two years ago a team consisting of our foremost content experts was founded to find a solution. After studying the matter closely it was determined that our inventory system, created long ago for a much smaller grid with much less content, simply was unable to handle the sheer size of the inventories most of our users have today. Once the cause was identified, the team went on to find a solution that we are proud to announce today: From April 1st 2015 the maximum number of items in a user's inventory will be capped to 100.

This turned out to have unexpected consequences since the treasure we all share, the Library Folder, alone exceeded that limit. To solve this, we have pruned the Library Folder of all unnecessary items, reducing it down to 99 carefully selected treasures of the past.

Now we understand that this will leave each user with room for just one item in their inventory in addition to the library content and some may feel that is not enough. So we have added an extra quota of 50 items as an extra benefit for premium members. This allows us to offer premium members an extended Library collection with no less than 148 items and still leave room for not one but two freely chosen additional objects.

Two known issues with our new inventory system is that it will not be possible to keep a friends list, since each friend requires two copies of their calling card to be stored in the Calling Cards folder and it will not be possible to wear any items or clothing since each of these needs to have an alias created in the Current Outfit folder. We are working on solutions on these issues but we are sure everybody agree they are minor inconveniences compared to the huge improvements of inventory management this new system offers.

And the best thing? You don't have to do anything at all. We have already deleted all superfluous content from all inventories so the next time you log on to Second Life you will find your inventory wonderfully free of all clutter."

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