Resiliency In Second Life

[Arielle Popstar]

15 minutes ago, Kathlen Onyx said:

Yes but discussing that is against the forum rules.

It's only against the forum rules if you complain about it.

[Luna Bliss]

6 minutes ago, Theresa Tennyson said:

One of the keys to being resilient is to try separate yourself from what happened to you and look at it from the outside, and to see if  it really means what it appears to when you're right next to it. Something that seems like a crisis or disaster can look much more manageable from a distance.

I like that...makes sense...

[Arielle Popstar]

14 minutes ago, Luna Bliss said:

I'm not intending to discuss religion in any way, shape, or form -- I'm simply stating prayer (especially meditation & chanting) is one of my coping mechanisms.

Why not use the term one way meditation then as that's likely acceptable? Saying "prayer" triggers some people.

[Luna Bliss]

Just now, Arielle Popstar said:

16 minutes ago, Luna Bliss said:

I'm not intending to discuss religion in any way, shape, or form -- I'm simply stating prayer (especially meditation & chanting) is one of my coping mechanisms.

Why not use the term one way meditation then as that's likely acceptable? Saying "prayer" triggers some people.

This line of the discussion began when we were discussing The Serenity Prayer -- it's a thing.

[Persephone Emerald]

1 minute ago, Arielle Popstar said:

Why not use the term one way meditation then as that's likely acceptable? Saying "prayer" triggers some people.

🙄

[Love Zhaoying]

3 minutes ago, Theresa Tennyson said:

This is good thinking in theory, and in general, but a lot of the time the "choice" has already been made before the person consciously makes it. 

I'm a pretty intentional person. If I hurt you, it probably was a case of:

1) I was trying to hurt you,

2) I chose to do the thing that hurt you most from a list of hurtful options,

and

3) I probably made some sort of chart.

One of the things I had to learn about the world is that not everyone is like that. A lot of what people do is more or less by reflex. So, if someone else hurt me I shouldn't assume it's intentional just because of how my mind works. One of the keys to being resilient is to try separate yourself from what happened to you and look at it from the outside, and to see if  it really means what it appears to when you're right next to it. Something that seems like a crisis or disaster can look much more manageable from a distance.

(This is a more subtle and enigmatic song than you might think from other versions...)

 

Well yes, the last part of what you wrote is what I meant.

In Second Life "resiliency" terms, here is a more detailed version of what I think in a scenario:

a. Something "happened to me" in Second Life (whether some interaction with another person, or something with the platform such as crash / inventory loss / bad framerate, etc.)

b. Assume I did not "cause" the thing to happen to me (unless for examples, I deleted inventory, or pressed a button I should not press, or said "boo!" to someone else on a bad day for them).

c. It is not "written in stone" how I must react to that situation.  By virtue of being an embodied person, and having a "free will", and the ability to cognate and reason, I may be able to temper my response to "the thing that happened to me".   

Basically, using logic, reason, experience, empathy, etc. as a "whole person" within Second Life, nobody says I have to "smash my toys and go home", "delete my account and move to a commune", "attack the other person", "blame Linden Lab", etc. etc. etc.

(To which I say, sure! Good luck with that! ..while at the same time, firmly believing it is possible.)

 

[Love Zhaoying]

3 minutes ago, Arielle Popstar said:

Why not use the term one way meditation then as that's likely acceptable? Saying "prayer" triggers some people.

You don't hear the voices in response? I'm sorry!

[Arielle Popstar]

Just now, Luna Bliss said:

This line of the discussion began when we were discussing The Serenity Prayer -- it's a thing.

I know that, you know that but when discussing these sorts of things with lay people or those who are triggered by anything reminding them of religiosity, it is the experience of those on 12 step help groups to use a terminology that doesn't unnecessarily cause them an adverse reaction. It is part of the resiliency you're discussing here.

[Arielle Popstar]

3 minutes ago, Love Zhaoying said:

You don't hear the voices in response? I'm sorry!

Sez you? I have before but don't expect you or others to understand that if you haven't had the experience.

[Luna Bliss]

1 minute ago, Arielle Popstar said:

4 minutes ago, Luna Bliss said:

This line of the discussion began when we were discussing The Serenity Prayer -- it's a thing.

I know that, you know that but when discussing these sorts of things with lay people or those who are triggered by anything reminding them of religiosity, it is the experience of those on 12 step help groups to use a terminology that doesn't unnecessarily cause them an adverse reaction. It is part of the resiliency you're discussing here.

It doesn't "trigger" them...they're just trying to discredit me any way they can.

But to your point, you really can't call The Serenity Prayer anything else...I mean what would u say in such a case..."that Serenity thingie" lol

Anyway, back on topic....what do you use to cope inworld?

[Scylla Rhiadra]

19 hours ago, Luna Bliss said:

Is there anything you do to cope with difficulties in SL that you care to share?  I chant a lot, and that helps me feel more positive and so am resilient when encountering some of the negative people.

Sorry, Luna, I've realized that I forgot to respond to this.

As Cinn says of herself above, I actually very seldom feel the need for resilience in SL. Mostly, my experiences in-world are entirely pleasant, and the parts that aren't are trivial enough that I don't need a coping mechanism much more sophisticated than "Well, that happened. Now, what was I doing? Oh, yes . . ."

Occasionally SL can feel a bit too much like work, perhaps, particularly in the weeks leading up to a new show. When I start to feel that way, I take time for myself to be by myself: I'll generally work on my inventory, take a pic (which, really, is 3/4s of my SL anyway), or quietly explore on my own.

I don't think I'm especially resilient. Just lucky that I am seldom called upon to be so.

[Luna Bliss]

1 minute ago, Arielle Popstar said:

6 minutes ago, Love Zhaoying said:

You don't hear the voices in response? I'm sorry!

Sez you? I have before but don't expect you or others to understand that if you haven't had the experience.

Do the voices help you be more resilient inworld?  If so, in what way?

[Kathlen Onyx]

1 minute ago, Luna Bliss said:

It doesn't "trigger" them...they're just trying to discredit me any way they can.

 

Wow. You think a lot of yourself.

[Arielle Popstar]

Just now, Luna Bliss said:

It doesn't "trigger" them...they're just trying to discredit me any way they can.

But to your point, you really can't call The Serenity Prayer anything else...I mean what would u say in such a case..."that Serenity thingie" lol

Anyway, back on topic....what do you use to cope inworld?

Don't try to be a martyr. It is well known that religious words or those reminding people of them are very prone to triggering certain people who may have had a bad experience with any religiosity.

[Garnet Psaltery]

28 minutes ago, Luna Bliss said:

I'm not intending to discuss religion in any way, shape, or form -- I'm simply stating prayer (especially meditation & chanting) is one of my coping mechanisms.

Fine, but you reproduced the text of an actual prayer which calls upon God.  Would it be acceptable for everyone else now to reproduce their prayers to indicate their ways of resilience?  Having said that though I'm not sure it counts if you don't believe in the God whom you invoke, or if you are your own god.

I obtain resilience in SL as I do in RL by calling on God, in belief.

Edited April 17 by Garnet Psaltery
Typo.

[Luna Bliss]

2 minutes ago, Scylla Rhiadra said:

and the parts that aren't are trivial enough that I don't need a coping mechanism much more sophisticated than "Well, that happened. Now, what was I doing? Oh, yes . . ."

A HA!  I detect one of the characteristics of resiliency in this!      Awareness:

https://www.verywellmind.com/characteristics-of-resilience-2795062

[Rowan Amore]

24 minutes ago, Kathlen Onyx said:

Please don't direct how I need to respond to a thread.

You did see my post in the Peeve section, right?  

[Arielle Popstar]

2 minutes ago, Luna Bliss said:

Do the voices help you be more resilient inworld?  If so, in what way?

Not resilience though it can through acceptance or peace. Those are the qualities we need the most and gain through a process of surrender to how things are. When one sees the way of peace or acceptance then one is also given the resilience to work towards that path. 

[BilliJo Aldrin]

1 hour ago, Luna Bliss said:

Prayer is a great coping mechanism, and yes I use it within SL quite often.

yea me too when i hang up trying to tp out of a busy sim 😂

[Jaylinbridges]

This thread is wearing down my resiliency.  I need a good nap to restore it.   You all need more sleep, so you don't have to change poems and songs to distort their original meaning.   Good Night.

[Scylla Rhiadra]

10 minutes ago, Garnet Psaltery said:

Fine, but you reproduced the text of an actual prayer which calls upon God.  Would it be acceptable for everyone else now to reporoduce their prayers to indicate their ways of resilience?  Having said that though I'm not sure it counts if you don't believe in the God whom you invoke, or if you are your own god.

I obtain resilience in SL as I do in RL by calling on God, in belief.

Garnet, with respect, you don't "own" God anymore than you "own" a prayer, a psalm, or any other biblical verse. People have been reading, interpreting, and using the Bible in their own way for literally thousands of years; you are certainly in your rights to object to or critique a particular interpretation, but you really don't get to dictate The One True Way, nor is it at all appropriate to tell people that they can't access it unless they subscribe to your particular belief system.

Luna's approach to belief and spirituality is most definitely not mine, but I fail to see why it, whatever "it" is, is not every bit as valid as your own. How is this different from telling a Muslim, a Jew, or a Quaker that they are "getting it all wrong" and therefore shouldn't be quoting from scripture?

Edited April 17 by Scylla Rhiadra
Grammar and clarity

[Rick Nightingale]

3 hours ago, Cinnamon Mistwood said:

For me, emotional resiliency comes from realizing I am responsible for my responses, action, and words...

That's how I look at it, or at least have learned to. It is true (for some definition of 'true' I guess). No-one can actually make me feel any thing; I (should be able to) choose how I feel regardless of what someone else might say or do. I've said for years that if someone insults me, it doesn't bother me in the slightest because anyone who would do something like that is not important enough to me for me to care what they think or say. If someone is worth caring what they say, they wouldn't do that to me.

Edit to add: Also, being autistic, I completely miss most insults or aren't sure about them anyway, so I always work on the assumption that I'm not being insulted. I guess that helps.

2 hours ago, Arielle Popstar said:

...religiosity...

Today I learned that is a word; I thought you had made it up at first. That might be linked to me being one of those who is somewhat triggered by it though. As soon as anything related crops up, I just switch off. My experiences of such things and people have been some of the worst I've had.

Edited April 17 by Rick Nightingale

[Luna Bliss]

7 minutes ago, Garnet Psaltery said:

Having said that though I'm not sure it counts if you don't believe in the God whom you invoke, or if you are your own god.

Spirituality is vital to me, and I spend hours each day attending to it. It's my main source of resiliency.  Due to this insult I am blocking you.

[Luna Bliss]

5 minutes ago, Arielle Popstar said:

When one sees the way of peace or acceptance then one is also given the resilience to work towards that path. 

Yes, this echoes the Serenity "thingie".....to accept what we can't change.

Edited April 17 by Luna Bliss

[Garnet Psaltery]

8 minutes ago, Garnet Psaltery said:

Fine, but you reproduced the text of an actual prayer which calls upon God.  Would it be acceptable for everyone else now to reproduce their prayers to indicate their ways of resilience?  Having said that though I'm not sure it counts if you don't believe in the God whom you invoke, or if you are your own god.

I obtain resilience in SL as I do in RL by calling on God, in belief.

 

2 minutes ago, Scylla Rhiadra said:

Garnet, with respect, you don't "own" God anymore than you "own" a prayer, a psalm, or any other biblical verse. People have been reading, interpreting, and using the Bible in their own way for literally thousands of years; you are certainly in your rights to object or criticize to a particular interpretation, but you really don't get to dictate The One True Way, nor is it at all appropriate to tell people that they can't access it unless they subscribe to your particular belief system.

Luna's approach to belief and spirituality are most definitely not mine, but I fail to see why it, whatever "it" is, is not every bit as valid as your own. How is this different from telling a Muslim, a Jew, or a Quaker that they are "getting it all wrong"?

Of course I don't own God, God owns me, but anyway my objection was that the prayer quoted was by a Christian, to whom God very definitely was not any other.