Coming to Accept "Different" people in Second Life

[Love Zhaoying]

In honor of my 58th RL birthday tomorrow, I thought of a worthy topic.

In SL - and the Forums - I've often encountered people who by their conversational style, focus, personal approach, beliefs, positions, etc. who I would prefer to not deal with.

It doesn't usually occur to me that these people are "just different".

In RL, I'd probably not encounter them, or successfully avoid them; thus missing out on all the possible positive outcomes of knowing and interacting with them.

In SL, they of course bring their "whole selves", and perhaps that "difference" is masked; when eventually you interact with them there may be a moment in which you feel uncomfortable with a statement or question - and suddenly realize they aren't like "you".

There can, at least with me, be a reaction to ignore, block, or actually ask "WTH is wrong with you"? That's no way to be, if indeed another person is just being themselves.

I guess the point I am making for discussion is, perhaps I am learning to accept "different" people in SL as just that. Do you have any advice or anecdotes for accepting people who are "different" in Second Life?

Note: THIS IS NOT ABOUT NEURODIVEGENT PEOPLE. IT IS ABOUT "DIFFERENT" PEOPLE IN MANY AND ALL WAYS.

 

 

Edited April 13 by Love Zhaoying

[Luna Bliss]

1 minute ago, Love Zhaoying said:

In honor of my 58th RL birthday tomorrow, I thought of a worthy topic.

In SL - and the Forums - I've often encountered people who by their conversational style, focus, personal approach, beliefs, positions, etc. who I would prefer to not deal with.

It doesn't usually occur to me that these people are "just different".

In RL, I'd probably not encounter them, or successfully avoid them; thus missing out on all the possible positive outcomes of knowing and interacting with them.

In SL, they of course bring their "whole selves", and perhaps that "difference" is masked; when eventually you interact with them there may be a moment in which you feel uncomfortable with a statement or question - and suddenly realize they aren't like "you".

There can, at least with me, to ignore, block, or actually ask "WTH is wrong with you"? That's no way to be, if indeed another person is just being themselves.

I guess the point I am making for discussion is, perhaps I am learning to accept "different" people in SL as just that. Do you have any advice or anecdotes for accepting people who are "different" in Second Life?

Note: THIS IS NOT ABOUT NEURODIVEGENT PEOPLE. IT IS ABOUT "DIFFERENT" PEOPLE IN MANY AND ALL WAYS.

 

 

I pray frequently.

[Rowan Amore]

27 minutes ago, Love Zhaoying said:

In honor of my 58th RL birthday tomorrow, I thought of a worthy topic.

In SL - and the Forums - I've often encountered people who by their conversational style, focus, personal approach, beliefs, positions, etc. who I would prefer to not deal with.

It doesn't usually occur to me that these people are "just different".

In RL, I'd probably not encounter them, or successfully avoid them; thus missing out on all the possible positive outcomes of knowing and interacting with them.

In SL, they of course bring their "whole selves", and perhaps that "difference" is masked; when eventually you interact with them there may be a moment in which you feel uncomfortable with a statement or question - and suddenly realize they aren't like "you".

There can, at least with me, be a reaction to ignore, block, or actually ask "WTH is wrong with you"? That's no way to be, if indeed another person is just being themselves.

I guess the point I am making for discussion is, perhaps I am learning to accept "different" people in SL as just that. Do you have any advice or anecdotes for accepting people who are "different" in Second Life?

Note: THIS IS NOT ABOUT NEURODIVEGENT PEOPLE. IT IS ABOUT "DIFFERENT" PEOPLE IN MANY AND ALL WAYS.

 

 

You can accept that they are different but if that difference is something that bothers you, you are allowed to avoid them.  You know I do.  

[Robberinthemuseum]

I dunno Love, you still have me on ignore and I only have adhd 🤣. Maybe the bar for normality is too high. Still on ignore? Nevermind, carry on 🫢

[Ceka Cianci]

I might not be understanding, so I'll give it try anyways.. hehehe

I don't really worry about someones beliefs and things like that in here or in world, unless they are pushing them on me.. I'll chat with anyone in world or reply to anyone in here..

I'll talk to  people while we're waiting in line at a gas station at the drop of the hat in RL.. Just because it's too quiet.. i think that kind of throws people off some, at times, but I can't help it.. hehehe

 

 

[Istelathis]

Happy birthday

 

As to how to accept different people, I dunno.  I usually just unleash a zombie virus, and it tends to sort itself out.  The ones that do not turn, fight one another over the resources left.  Alternatively, I have been amassing a bot army that uses AI, I plan to drown them all out with generic "As an AI chat bot, I don't really have .. blah blah blah" 

[Shining Sun]

I'm very accepting of all the peeps until they open their mouths and start talking.

[Ceka Cianci]

Damn, out of all I said, I forgot to say Happy Birthday.

Happy Birthday! \o/

[Cinnamon Mistwood]

1 hour ago, Love Zhaoying said:

"WTH is wrong with you"?

I say this to myself all the time. 

I usually enjoy meeting people different than myself.  It is why I logged in to SL to begin with.  I do, however, have a limit and boundaries, so I will just leave a conversation if it goes in a direction that is pointless.  It is rare, but I also pre-emptively block people after reading their profiles.  It's never permanent, though, since I unblock everyone every couple months and start my block list over again.  Sometimes I just can't be bothered to be tactful and sensitive in the face of some pretty disgusting beliefs even it those beliefs are just roleplay for effect.

[Love Zhaoying]

25 minutes ago, Shining Sun said:

I'm very accepting of all the peeps until they open their mouths and start talking.

+1

[Luna Bliss]

1 hour ago, Love Zhaoying said:

In honor of my 58th RL birthday tomorrow, I thought of a worthy topic.

In SL - and the Forums - I've often encountered people who by their conversational style, focus, personal approach, beliefs, positions, etc. who I would prefer to not deal with.

It doesn't usually occur to me that these people are "just different".

In RL, I'd probably not encounter them, or successfully avoid them; thus missing out on all the possible positive outcomes of knowing and interacting with them.

In SL, they of course bring their "whole selves", and perhaps that "difference" is masked; when eventually you interact with them there may be a moment in which you feel uncomfortable with a statement or question - and suddenly realize they aren't like "you".

There can, at least with me, be a reaction to ignore, block, or actually ask "WTH is wrong with you"? That's no way to be, if indeed another person is just being themselves.

I guess the point I am making for discussion is, perhaps I am learning to accept "different" people in SL as just that. Do you have any advice or anecdotes for accepting people who are "different" in Second Life?

Note: THIS IS NOT ABOUT NEURODIVEGENT PEOPLE. IT IS ABOUT "DIFFERENT" PEOPLE IN MANY AND ALL WAYS.

 

 

1. I agree that getting extremely upset because someone is not "just like me" doesn't exhibit a sound ethical stance.

2. However we all have our ethics, even if not consciously known (a determination of what is right or wrong).

I do try to distinguish between the two when I find myself feeling nonacceptance of another so that I don't react from the number 1 stance.

Edited April 13 by Luna Bliss

[Love Zhaoying]

Left out of my "Cliff's Notes" OP: 

Sometimes for me, it's about realizing that the other isn't necessarily "bad", dumb, or evil..just different.

Yes, I still may want to block them or TP away, but it will be nice one day when I first remember "they are just different" - so that even if I react the same, there's a little less karmic impact later on. 

 

[Robberinthemuseum]

9 minutes ago, Love Zhaoying said:

Left out of my "Cliff's Notes" OP: 

Sometimes for me, it's about realizing that the other isn't necessarily "bad", dumb, or evil..just different.

Yes, I still may want to block them or TP away, but it will be nice one day when I first remember "they are just different" - so that even if I react the same, there's a little less karmic impact later on. 

 

Love, you still have me blocked so I can't apologize 🙄. I find telling someone they are being unpleasant is better than just blocking, because it doesn't give them a chance to self reflect and change. Oh well. 

[Cinnamon Mistwood]

3 minutes ago, Robberinthemuseum said:

Love, you still have me blocked so I can't apologize 🙄. I find telling someone they are being unpleasant is better than just blocking, because it doesn't give them a chance to self reflect and change. Oh well. 

Someone has YOU blocked?  Awwww ❤💋

(Quoted so Love will read your post)

[Love Zhaoying]

Just now, Cinnamon Mistwood said:

Someone has YOU blocked?  Awwww ❤💋

(Quoted so Love will read your post)

I've been reading their posts and leaving "thanks" responses. This thread really isn't anything to do with RobberInTheMuseum. 

[Luna Bliss]

8 minutes ago, Robberinthemuseum said:

you still have me blocked

Robber what did you DO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!   ;0

[Robberinthemuseum]

3 minutes ago, Cinnamon Mistwood said:

Someone has YOU blocked?  Awwww ❤💋

(Quoted so Love will read your post)

Unbelievable right?! 🤣

[Robberinthemuseum]

15 minutes ago, Luna Bliss said:

Robber what did you DO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!   ;0

I'm afraid to say, he'll have me reported for harassment. I should shut up now. 

LOVE IS THE MOST SPARKLING LITTLE NIBBLEHEAD WHO EVER EXISTED ON THE FORUM ✨️ 

Edited April 14 by Robberinthemuseum
Spelling 😅

[diamond Marchant]

1 hour ago, Love Zhaoying said:

Do you have any advice or anecdotes for accepting people who are "different" in Second Life?

I only assimilate accept those who add to my perfection.

[Love Zhaoying]

Ok, some food for thought, grist for the mill: does anyone else have stories of people in SL they couldn't understand, and came to accept overtime, realizing they were "different" (whether you put up with them any more or less)?

[Rolig Loon]

I am me.  Everyone else is different, by definition. If I tried hard, I could probably find something about any of them that annoys me.  I rarely try, though. The people whose friendships I value most highly are all "different", and we've tolerated our differences for 17 years.

In rare extreme situations when I find "different" behavior hard to accept, I try to remember the wise words of a long-deceased mentor: "Never wrestle with a pig. You'll both get muddy and the pig enjoys it."

[Luna Bliss]

2 hours ago, Love Zhaoying said:

Do you have any advice or anecdotes for accepting people who are "different" in Second Life?

I think it's admirable that you want to accept people more who are different from yourself.

Sometimes though, people we most have trouble accepting are those who remind us of something we don't like in ourselves.

So awareness is key -- thinking about why we're not accepting another.   Once we know if the nonacceptance is there because we're similar, and that it's something we need to understand within ourselves, the acceptance flows from that.

[Paul Hexem]

Some of us are different alright.

[Love Zhaoying]

15 minutes ago, Rolig Loon said:

I am me.  Everyone else is different, by definition. If I tried hard, I could probably find something about any of them that annoys me.  I rarely try, though. The people whose friendships I value most highly are all "different", and we've tolerated our differences for 17 years.

In rare extreme situations when I find "different" behavior hard to accept, I try to remember the wise words of a long-deceased mentor: "Never wrestle with a pig. You'll both get muddy and the pig enjoys it."

Your ability to accept those "different" friends, highlights the positive for certain! I often forget how each of my SL family members was different - but to me only one was "different" in the way I meant; probably they all found me "different" in that annoying way, and were kind enough anyway!

[Love Zhaoying]

1 minute ago, Paul Hexem said:

Some of us are different alright.