superpeeve Oh my Gawd! - Totally unOfficial Pet Peeve Thread.

[Ayashe Ninetails]

Lmao, peeve:

@Scylla Rhiadra - Wear anything, just be G-rated, girl!

Me: Always am, I got this!

Dips into a store real quick just out of curiosity to check the sales: Finds the most anti-G-rated outfit and it's utterly BRILLIANT.

Can't wear it, of course, lol. You'd love this thing, though, Scyl. It's clever but oh so very not PG LOL. It's a nude bodysuit (other colors available but this one's the best) with a large gloved hand that grips around the hips below the very pinched waist and turns into a long train behind you. That'd be fine, but the bodysuit itself has embroidered nips. Kinda makes the whole thing look like a ... doll being held. It's HILARIOUS though omg. I freakin' love this store.

*demos it for funsies anyway and hopes Scylla throws an adult party someday*

[Love Zhaoying]

2 minutes ago, Ayashe Ninetails said:

Lmao, peeve:

@Scylla Rhiadra - Wear anything, just be G-rated, girl!

Me: Always am, I got this!

Dips into a store real quick just out of curiosity to check the sales: Finds the most anti-G-rated outfit and it's utterly BRILLIANT.

Can't wear it, of course, lol. You'd love this thing, though, Scyl. It's clever but oh so very not PG LOL. It's a nude bodysuit (other colors available but this one's the best) with a large gloved hand that grips around the hips below the very pinched waist and turns into a long train behind you. That'd be fine, but the bodysuit itself has embroidered nips. Kinda makes the whole thing look like a ... doll being held. It's HILARIOUS though omg. I freakin' love this store.

*demos it for funsies anyway and hopes Scylla throws an adult party someday*

Just tell Scylla, "It's ART, dahling!"

[Ayashe Ninetails]

9 minutes ago, Love Zhaoying said:

Just tell Scylla, "It's ART, dahling!"

Nooooo, she specified G. Imma behave myself. *gigglesnorts*

[Love Zhaoying]

1 minute ago, Ayashe Ninetails said:

10 minutes ago, Love Zhaoying said:

Just tell Scylla, "It's ART, dahling!"

Nooooo, she specified G. Imma behave myself. *gigglesnorts*

I mean, at any "next party where it's not 'G'-rated"!

[Love Zhaoying]

Peeve: I don't like the newest drama.  Can we go back to the OLD drama?

[CaerolleClaudel]

On 6/12/2024 at 11:27 PM, Scylla Rhiadra said:

Peeve: Gross people.

So, I'm on my sky platform, 1800m above my public parcel, trying on different swimsuits and poses for a pic. And I get an IM from a guy who my mini map informs me is on the ground level on a neighbouring parcel:

[20:04] [Gross Person]: Sooo pretty ...nice pic:)
[20:05] Scylla Rhiadra: Sorry, what is?
[20:06] [Gross Person]: Y.O.U
[20:06] [Gross Person]: smiles

At this point, the "smiles" has me cringing, and any hope that the "pretty pic" he was talking about was the one in my profile vanishes when I asked him if that was the "pic" he was referring to, and he replied "Yes that too."

And of course, he went silent and disappeared when I pressed him on this.

So I'm now assuming that I've been visited by a virtual peeping Tom, who has possibly taken a snap of me naked or half naked on a pose stand.

I've got quasi-public pics of me nude or semi-nude here and on Flickr, so it's not so much that I care about being seen without clothes on.

It's more that feeling that I need a shower after contact with someone so utterly icky.

Peeve: stalkers and harassers

I hesitate to post this, I do not want to get the thread locked. If people with more experience here feel this post is a problem please let me know and I will clear out the content.

A couple months ago I came back and tried SL again after being gone a couple years. One of many returns. This time I was having a lot of fun. I spent a huge amount of time learning how to upgrade my avi, tracking down new clothes, hair, eyes, make-up, all that. I spend a huge amount of time adjustment my new head, and a fair amount of time editing my shape yet again. I love Virtual Barbie!

One of the biggest issues I have had with SL has been the lack of places to go that fit my narrow range of preferences. However, this time I found a couple places, and really enjoyed going to their events. No new friends, but I didn't expect that. I was having fun  and staying engaged.

I also spent a fair amount of time vetting multiscene skyboxes, to, going through all the scenes in ones from three different rental agencies. I found two and ran them side-by-side, and finally made a decision on one I loved.

So, where is this all going?

Unwanted attention from men. I have dealt with harassment by men in the past in SL, and of course dealt with the same when I came back, on the usual sort of sims. Although I mostly will only go to female-only places, this time my fave place had a few guys. This made me nervous, but I kept going, and I did not have any trouble for quite a while.

I have rented a lot of places in SL before, and even owned property and had my own house once. I never a single time had any issues.

THIS TIME, though:

The first skybox I rented, some guy kept TPing into my unit. Plus harassing me in IMs. I kept telling him to stay out, and he wouldn't, and he wouldn't stop sending me creepy IMs. I quickly enabled the security, which I have never done in the past, so at least he got booted after some amount of time (1 second? 5? 10? I have no idea, all those features are set by the landlord). The guy only came in occasionally, but never really stopped. I did block him, though, so at least I didn't have to see his IMs.

The same *****ing thing happened at the other skybod I rented, and this guy was even worse. CONSTANTLY TPing into my unit. At least this one I had enabled security immediately, but I got at least half a dozen notices a day that he had been there, and his IMs were even worse than the first guy. Also blocked this guy after multiple attempts to get him to leave me alone.

So, it's bad enough to be harassed in some random sim, but in my own home??? That was scary (and yes I know it is just electrons and I am being silly and so forth, but I feel the way I feel).

In addition, by this point some other disturbing, triggering things involving men and 'male parts' had happened at a couple places of other places that people I knew invited me to.

Then, at the place I loved to go, I get harassed by some guy, the typical type who is offended that 'I can't take a compliment' and what an ungrateful ***** I am, and all that. I could not get him to leave me alone. I finally left, IM'd the Manager/DJ about him, and blocked him.

The second stalker had been particularly bad that day, and with this, I had enough of SL. I was so shaken and scared by being harassed at three different places where I felt safe, on top of the usual harassment at places where there were not 'regulars.' It was too much. I just logged out and deleted Firestorm, have not been back to SL since, and do not plan to go back.

I guess SL is just not for oversensitive people like me.

[CaerolleClaudel]

On 6/12/2024 at 11:27 PM, Scylla Rhiadra said:

Peeve: Gross people.

So, I'm on my sky platform, 1800m above my public parcel, trying on different swimsuits and poses for a pic. And I get an IM from a guy who my mini map informs me is on the ground level on a neighbouring parcel:

[20:04] [Gross Person]: Sooo pretty ...nice pic:)
[20:05] Scylla Rhiadra: Sorry, what is?
[20:06] [Gross Person]: Y.O.U
[20:06] [Gross Person]: smiles

At this point, the "smiles" has me cringing, and any hope that the "pretty pic" he was talking about was the one in my profile vanishes when I asked him if that was the "pic" he was referring to, and he replied "Yes that too."

And of course, he went silent and disappeared when I pressed him on this.

So I'm now assuming that I've been visited by a virtual peeping Tom, who has possibly taken a snap of me naked or half naked on a pose stand.

I've got quasi-public pics of me nude or semi-nude here and on Flickr, so it's not so much that I care about being seen without clothes on.

It's more that feeling that I need a shower after contact with someone so utterly icky.

😬🤢🤮🤮😡😡😡

I did not add an emoji reaction to your post because there are none that can even be in the same universe with how I feel about this...

[CaerolleClaudel]

On 6/13/2024 at 11:47 AM, Scylla Rhiadra said:

Thanks Spiffy! I'll survive!

I think in some ways the ickiest part of it is not so much being perved, as his apparent compulsion to make sure that I knew I'd been perved. Possibly, I suppose, he hoped that I might respond with something like "If you like what you see, come up for a closer look" . . . but I suspect part of it is also about exerting power -- "I've seen you naked, and that makes you in some sense vulnerable, and there's nothing you can do about it."

Your friend's experience is probably not an uncommon one. Unfortunately, parts of my parcel (the ground level, and the gallery) are public, and there's no way to restrict views into my sky platform. (And I get even less privacy in my little apartment in Voroznia.)

Oh well. Learning to deal with creepy people is part of adulting, I guess. They aren't going to just go away.

Peeve: people doing sexual things to unwitting people

I know lots of people feel this is an absolutely stupid take, but to me it feels like violation. And it really rattles me even hearing about it happening to someone else.

Peeve: people being insensitive and dismissive of how other people feel about something that happened to them in SL

I had something happen to me during my first couple days in SL that haunts me to this day, 17 years later. And then recently I see someone here on the forum making fun of someone being violated to the extreme. Not a good feeling.

[Luna Bliss]

11 minutes ago, CaerolleClaudel said:

I guess SL is just not for oversensitive people like me.

I don't think you're oversensitive. I think you've been violated by insensitive jerks, and it really angers me.

Hugs

[Persephone Emerald]

5 minutes ago, CaerolleClaudel said:

Peeve: stalkers and harassers

I hesitate to post this, I do not want to get the thread locked. If people with more experience here feel this post is a problem please let me know and I will clear out the content.

A couple months ago I came back and tried SL again after being gone a couple years. One of many returns. This time I was having a lot of fun. I spent a huge amount of time learning how to upgrade my avi, tracking down new clothes, hair, eyes, make-up, all that. I spend a huge amount of time adjustment my new head, and a fair amount of time editing my shape yet again. I love Virtual Barbie!

One of the biggest issues I have had with SL has been the lack of places to go that fit my narrow range of preferences. However, this time I found a couple places, and really enjoyed going to their events. No new friends, but I didn't expect that. I was having fun  and staying engaged.

I also spent a fair amount of time vetting multiscene skyboxes, to, going through all the scenes in ones from three different rental agencies. I found two and ran them side-by-side, and finally made a decision on one I loved.

So, where is this all going?

Unwanted attention from men. I have dealt with harassment by men in the past in SL, and of course dealt with the same when I came back, on the usual sort of sims. Although I mostly will only go to female-only places, this time my fave place had a few guys. This made me nervous, but I kept going, and I did not have any trouble for quite a while.

I have rented a lot of places in SL before, and even owned property and had my own house once. I never a single time had any issues.

THIS TIME, though:

The first skybox I rented, some guy kept TPing into my unit. Plus harassing me in IMs. I kept telling him to stay out, and he wouldn't, and he wouldn't stop sending me creepy IMs. I quickly enabled the security, which I have never done in the past, so at least he got booted after some amount of time (1 second? 5? 10? I have no idea, all those features are set by the landlord). The guy only came in occasionally, but never really stopped. I did block him, though, so at least I didn't have to see his IMs.

The same *****ing thing happened at the other skybod I rented, and this guy was even worse. CONSTANTLY TPing into my unit. At least this one I had enabled security immediately, but I got at least half a dozen notices a day that he had been there, and his IMs were even worse than the first guy. Also blocked this guy after multiple attempts to get him to leave me alone.

So, it's bad enough to be harassed in some random sim, but in my own home??? That was scary (and yes I know it is just electrons and I am being silly and so forth, but I feel the way I feel).

In addition, by this point some other disturbing, triggering things involving men and 'male parts' had happened at a couple places of other places that people I knew invited me to.

Then, at the place I loved to go, I get harassed by some guy, the typical type who is offended that 'I can't take a compliment' and what an ungrateful ***** I am, and all that. I could not get him to leave me alone. I finally left, IM'd the Manager/DJ about him, and blocked him.

The second stalker had been particularly bad that day, and with this, I had enough of SL. I was so shaken and scared by being harassed at three different places where I felt safe, on top of the usual harassment at places where there were not 'regulars.' It was too much. I just logged out and deleted Firestorm, have not been back to SL since, and do not plan to go back.

I guess SL is just not for oversensitive people like me.

There's nothing wrong with you for posting about this problem. You're not being oversensitive or difficult. Those guys are the problem. It's been about 8 years since I rented a place, which was at a quiet, scenic sim, so maybe those multiscene skybox places have more problems? I don't know. You're avatar is probably attractive, but that's no excuse for their bad behavior.

It's too bad we can't have a serious, open discussion about guys like these on the forum, without some people taking the side of these clueless and rude Neanderthals.

[CaerolleClaudel]

On 6/13/2024 at 1:59 PM, Scylla Rhiadra said:

Technically, you are of course absolutely correct. I think there are three things, though, that can impact on how one feels about this.

First, as the reference in the last quoted sentence above suggests, many of us identify very closely without our avatars. For better or worse, I am one of those people. So a "violation" of my avatar is, to some degree, something that does impact on me at some emotional level. It's important to recognize the difference, of course, between a "violation" (in whatever way) of one's avatar, and one in RL, and it would be silly to get upset in the same way about the one as one would about the other, but that doesn't mean that there isn't some impact. But, as you note of yourself, YMMV on this: we don't all "inhabit" our avi in the same way.

100% for me. And I am probably one of the worst at that, plus filter everything through my emotions. I am not sure I am able to make the distinction you do between SL and RL, though ofc that is the far healthier way to be.

[CaerolleClaudel]

On 6/13/2024 at 7:50 PM, Scylla Rhiadra said:

Ok, just to address this quickly, because I understand and have some sympathy with this way of thinking . . .

PEEVE: The illusion that one can "change" someone through gentle guidance and nurturing . . .

I had a friend some 5 or 6 years ago whom I quite liked. He was smart, quite funny and witty, and all the more interesting to talk to because he differed from me on a number of political and social issues. I enjoyed our conversations a great deal.

And then he started being, shall we say, "overly intimate." He took to slapping me on the butt regularly, a habit that I was able to cure him of after a few minor explosions at him, but he started to hit on me in other increasingly direct and sometimes crude ways. This developed as a part of our relationship over the course of some months. Because I had succeeded in getting him to stop slapping my ass, I had some confidence that I could "cure" him of his increasingly insistent come-ons. I valued his intelligence and conversation enough that I thought it was worthwhile trying.

Boy, was I wrong. He just got worse and worse (and again, this was over the course of several months, and not a one-off thing), and began to narrate in really vivid detail his fantasies of "taking me" in various "interesting" ways on his parent's bed. (Yeah, some serious Oedipal issues there.)

At last, reluctantly, I acknowledged that he wasn't responding to my attempts to shut down his advances, so I blocked him, and moved on.

Maybe there are men who can be "educated" in this way? But I haven't met one yet.

OMFFG, you have far more forbearance than I do, ever did, or ever will.

[Love Zhaoying]

Peeve: Stayed up late catching up on some scripting, discovered you can't put any globals or UDF's (user-defined functions) after States!  Only required adding about an hour's work total to get around that.

 

[ValKalAstra]

8 hours ago, Scylla Rhiadra said:

So long as it's "G" rated [...]

I may need to do some shopping >.>

[Sabrina Nebula]

7 hours ago, Ceka Cianci said:

Ok real SL peeve time:

I'm not even sure how to talk about this one without getting re-grossed out or grossing anyone else out.. I'll try my best say what happened without getting too detailed, but I really don't think it takes too much details to be grossed out..

Aaaanyways,

I was at one of the more popular events which was in a Moderate sim, which most of them are now..

I was looking at this one nice dress that Tetra came out with for this event , when right behind me was this one girl, dressed in panties and crop tank. She had that silly tongue hanging out cross eyed expression on her face.. That's not the gross part..

Lets just say in so many words, something was dripping from her tongue..I'm not gonna say what it was because this isn't the adult section..  It just grossed me out so bad that I grabbed the demo and left the event..

Is something like that able to be reported or no?

 

I’ve seen female avatars who drip elsewhere 😭 Far more down under… And I ask myself WHY? Why do you walk around like that? 

[Love Zhaoying]

7 hours ago, Ceka Cianci said:

Ok real SL peeve time:

I'm not even sure how to talk about this one without getting re-grossed out or grossing anyone else out.. I'll try my best say what happened without getting too detailed, but I really don't think it takes too much details to be grossed out..

Aaaanyways,

I was at one of the more popular events which was in a Moderate sim, which most of them are now..

I was looking at this one nice dress that Tetra came out with for this event , when right behind me was this one girl, dressed in panties and crop tank. She had that silly tongue hanging out cross eyed expression on her face.. That's not the gross part..

Lets just say in so many words, something was dripping from her tongue..I'm not gonna say what it was because this isn't the adult section..  It just grossed me out so bad that I grabbed the demo and left the event..

Is something like that able to be reported or no?

 

Peeve: That is hard to swallow!

[Ceka Cianci]

1 hour ago, Sabrina Nebula said:

I’ve seen female avatars who drip elsewhere 😭 Far more down under… And I ask myself WHY? Why do you walk around like that? 

I think some people just love to shock or gross other people out..

Something like that should stay in adult areas or behind closed doors and think it should be reportable, especially if it's animated..

But that's just my opinion I guess.

[SabrinaCooke]

38 minutes ago, Ceka Cianci said:

I think some people just love to shock or gross other people out..

Something like that should stay in adult areas or behind closed doors and think it should be reportable, especially if it's animated..

But that's just my opinion I guess.

They live for the attention. Negative attention is still attention, after all. 

On topic, pet peeve: cramps. Allll the cramps.

[Rowan Amore]

10 hours ago, Ceka Cianci said:

Ok real SL peeve time:

I'm not even sure how to talk about this one without getting re-grossed out or grossing anyone else out.. I'll try my best say what happened without getting too detailed, but I really don't think it takes too much details to be grossed out..

Aaaanyways,

I was at one of the more popular events which was in a Moderate sim, which most of them are now..

I was looking at this one nice dress that Tetra came out with for this event , when right behind me was this one girl, dressed in panties and crop tank. She had that silly tongue hanging out cross eyed expression on her face.. That's not the gross part..

Lets just say in so many words, something was dripping from her tongue..I'm not gonna say what it was because this isn't the adult section..  It just grossed me out so bad that I grabbed the demo and left the event..

Is something like that able to be reported or no?

 

Yeah, I peeved about something similar last week when I saw a woman wearing basically a string through her Phat hooha at the hair fair which is on General.  

Some people are just trashy and do things like that to be noticed, I think.  

[Arielle Popstar]

34 minutes ago, Rowan Amore said:

Some people are just trashy and do things like that to be noticed, I think.  

Think some are just taking advantage of being in a world where they can dress in a manner they can't in R/L.

[Rowan Amore]

1 minute ago, Arielle Popstar said:

Think some are just taking advantage of being in a world where they can dress in a manner they can't in R/L.

Which I really couldn't care less about but don't do it on a General region.  We've banned child avatars from Adult land so how about the rest of us not be asshats on General.

[Arielle Popstar]

22 minutes ago, Rowan Amore said:

Which I really couldn't care less about but don't do it on a General region.  We've banned child avatars from Adult land so how about the rest of us not be asshats on General.

Not that I don't agree with you but are there SL guidelines for what is considered appropriate dress in General areas?

[Love Zhaoying]

32 minutes ago, Rowan Amore said:

We've banned child avatars from Adult land so how about the rest of us not be asshats on General.

I wish that was in the TOS!

[Ayashe Ninetails]

1 hour ago, Arielle Popstar said:

Not that I don't agree with you but are there SL guidelines for what is considered appropriate dress in General areas?

Not that I've seen, but it's fairly self-explanatory. 

Think of the requirements to enter a real life store and not get tossed out.

Think of the requirements to enter a real life restaurant and not get tossed out.

Think of the requirements to not get hauled off for indecent exposure or wind up on a rather embarrassing list if you happen to be standing near a public school.

Adjust for SL shenanigans (we don't need shoes, seasons don't matter, all fashion styles are fair game unless specified) - annnnnd you're good.

Peeve: I'm slacking. Speaking of clothes, I need to log in and get dressed. So sleepy. Coffee game is weak.

[Love Zhaoying]

1 hour ago, Arielle Popstar said:

Not that I don't agree with you but are there SL guidelines for what is considered appropriate dress in General areas?

Seems like an excellent opportunity to FAFO! Let us know what you find out.